Super short chapter but it's something, right? I apologize.

Someone mentioned that I didn't explain why Bella was so easy to trust Edward and I suppose I never really delved into that; I honestly just wasn't thinking about it.

But here is a little insight into Bella's thought process so that it hopefully clears that up a bit.

I am going to try to update soon.

Busy, busy, busy.

Caitlin

BPOV

Getting past the incident was hard and it took a lot of time to not feel so dirty but I knew there was a reason to try and fight; fight to stay the person I was…..who I am.

Anybody else in their right mind would never have given in so easy to a man who has taken them from everything. I knew this and at times I reprimand myself internally at how easy I gave in.

I wasn't one to just roll over; I was stubborn and always had an opinion that I was willing to voice.

I never gave a fight once while I was here, though. I kept trying to believe that this was the worse thing that could have happened to me but then that other side always spoke up and reminded me why I didn't.

I have never felt wanted in my entire life, I didn't have a bad life or a broken home, it was all pretty normal for the most part. I had always been that girl that could practically blend in with the wallpaper.

No one noticed me and I took it very personal, I would cry myself to sleep wondering what was so wrong with me that no one seemed to want me.

I watched as my friends dated and flirted with boys, I watched the guys flirt with them and the looks they got. To them it was so easy; they had the option to pick and choose from the number of boys that looked at them like a dog would look at a bone.

There was no one tying to win me over, there was no one even trying to just get in my pants and have a one night stand; even then I would have at least recognized that someone desired me.

All I ever wanted was to have some want me, to desire me.

I blamed myself for so many years.

It had to be because I wasn't pretty enough or I wasn't tall enough or I wasn't skinny enough; there had to be some explanation.

I was terribly shy, I don't know if I would have done something if someone would have come up to me. It was the point though.

But then I was taken from all that and yes, I miss my friends and my freedom, I even miss my father, despite how protective he was of me.

I was scared when I was kidnapped. I thought I was simply going to die and that was all there was to it, there was no other thought in my mind.

Why else would someone want to take me?

I couldn't even fathom someone wanting to rape me. Surely, I thought, they could find someone better if they were willing to go through all this trouble. But to find out that I was here because some one wanted me to be here made me happy.

As demented as this sounds, I was proud to be the one chosen. I sure did not understand it but I convinced myself that there had to be something special about me, right?

When I saw Edwards face for the first time I was convinced that he was not the one who sent for me, someone as beautiful as himself could want nothing to do with me.

I was completely confused yet very interested.

I had never felt physically beautiful in my whole life, people told me I had a pretty face but it felt like it was just something for them to say like they were saying a vase was pretty. I felt like they were obligated to say something along the lines to me but they didn't really mean it.

I didn't feel beautiful.

Edward wanted something no one had ever wished of me before; he desired me.

When he looked at me I was the one who conjured the lust in his eyes, it was me and it had never been me before; it felt good.

For the first time in my life I felt wanted by someone, I felt needed and I had prayed for that my whole life. It's pathetic really but I can't help it.

I look at him and I feel special, I feel like a priceless item that one couldn't imagine losing.

The way he looks at me… I can see it in his eyes.

I have yet to become honest with myself and face the facts. this is surely less then what I have imagined it to be. I was just an easy target that he knew no one would realy miss; there was going to be no one fighting to find me.

Yes, maybe in a few days or weeks he will realize, just like everybody else, and get rid of me.

But for a brief moment in my life I was wanted.