I don't own Twilight.
Chapter VII — "As I Change"
It was one late night in late fall when I saw my very first angel.
She was sitting outside of a low-setting building, dressed simply in a white nightgown. I could smell her from where I was standing and it was the most mouth watering, impeccable scent that I have ever come across. I have never come across I human I've wanted to drink so much.
She is beautiful, with long dark hair that falls over her white shoulders. Her dark eyes make her look like she's thirsty but she is human. She is smiling mysteriously and the way the moon reflects her white skin, makes her look like royalty.
I hold myself back from running to kill her.
"We have entered another vampire's territory," she remarks softly from beside me. "We mustn't attack before we speak with him. If we do, there could be a major conflict." She pauses and smiles softly. "And we don't want to be visited by the Volturi, now do we, James?"
I shake my head and stare at the angel sitting on the bench. A man approaches her from behind and takes her shoulders with both of his hands. Surprise crosses her angelic features and she smiles brightly up at the man.
Don't attack now, I tell myself. If you attack now, everything will be ruined. Wait, I tell myself quietly. Wait for her; she can wait for you. I feel my undead heart clench with emotion; emotion I have not felt since I was human.
As I change for her, she goes on without noticing her life will end soon.
Alice
I feel like someone is watching me. I freeze, trying to listen to the night air. The wind picks up and my practiced ears can't seem to pick up anything except the toss and fall of the fallen leaves. It's creepy out here, I realize, and begin to feel even more paranoid than normal. Someone is watching me, I know it.
William touches my shoulders from behind.
I jump and gasp. He laughs and hands me a heel of bread. Little does he know, it's my favorite part of a loaf of bread. I smile down at it before taking a big bite. He watches me from the corner of his eye, watching me take a bite before taking one of his own.
I chew slowly and look over to him. I laugh quietly. "What?" I ask him. "Were you checking to make sure that it didn't kill me first before you took a bite of your own?"
He smiles. "That's it," he winks and continues to eat, the question left unanswered. After a long while, he says, "I haven't dated much in my short time on earth but I do know that dates are meant to learn more about each other. So, is there anything you want to know about me?"
There were so many things I wanted to know about him. I wanted to know the obvious, less important questions like his favorite color, his favorite food, what his favorite books were, and what he thought about the president. And then there were other like why he chose me now of all times and where this was headed. I wanted to ask him if he would ever believe in my visions.
But instead, I ask, "Well, why are you working here of all places? I mean, there have to be a million things you'd rather do than listen to people like me blabber on about the end of the world." I take a small bite of my bread and then look at him, curious to hear his answer.
"Well, not everyone talks about the end of the world," he smiles, "half of my patients just talk about the end of mankind, which, in their minds, should have happened at the turn of the century – last year." He doesn't laugh at his own joke. Though he can be cruel to his patients and impatient to his family, he takes his job seriously.
"I do what I do because … because when I was a little boy, my family lived about three miles away from my grandfather. I walked to school every day and his house was closer to my school than my house was so, after I was let out, I would go his house. On their way home, my parents would pick me up. My grandmother would always have something for me to eat and drink and he would tell me about the interesting people at his work.
"I always remember that clearly from my childhood. Ever since I was little, I've wanted to work at this magical place with its 'interesting' people." He pauses and looks at me. "When I started working here, I hated it and wanted to leave. It wasn't as amazing as I thought it was supposed to be.
"After all, everyone here was crazy. And then … and then my grandfather kept insisting that I needed to get to know you. I was and still am your doctor but I hated it here so much it didn't' matter. Even now, I sometimes want to leave. It just …"
I looks over to the trees, like he hears something. He shakes his head and runs a hand through his dark locks and continues. "It's just heartbreaking to see all of these people who have no one. They're sick and the government just puts them aside. Some of these people make me uncomfortable because I don't know what I can do to make them better. I am a doctor," he states, "and I want to make them better. It's just sometimes I don't think I can."
I nod and, after setting my bread down, I reach over, touching his hand gently, feeling his soft fingers under my own.
He looks back at me. "Thank you," I say, staring into his dark eyes.
And that's all that needs to be said with us. He smiles at me and then kisses me gently on the lips. I smile against his lips and so does he. We both laugh and break away. "It's freezing," he states and wraps his arms around my shoulders. "May I escort you back, Miss Brandon?" he asks all gentlemanly.
I smile and nod, bowing my head slightly to keep from the cold. He opens up the side of the hospital and we walk through the quiet hallways. There isn't screaming or talking now. There is an occasional cry of someone dreaming but I'm used to that.
When we reach my room, he walks me to my bed, lays me down and tucks me in. He brushes strands of hair away from my eyes. I smile up at him, dreamily and sleepily. I yawn and he chuckles. "Goodnight, Alice," he tells me, leaning over to kiss my forehead.
My eyes close when his lips touch mine and when he pulls away, I don't open them. The bed lifts as he stands and I turn towards the wall, away from him as he leaves.
It is then I begin to dream.
***
"Alice, we have to go," Grandfather says, dragging my arm. I scream in agony. The burning … the burning in my arm, it just won't stop. "Alice, I'm going to pick you up, alright?" I squirm and cry out in agony.
William comes into the room then, at least I think it's him. There is fire everywhere in the house. I see leaves blowing every which way and dresses looming in every corner. Someone his trying to kill me but they are too late. I will burn to death.
"We have to move her, William," a faraway voice says.
My body is lifted from off the ground. Does this mean I am no longer amongst the living? I wonder this but the pain is so intense, I have to still be alive. Would God punish me like this? If I am to go up to Heaven, is it supposed to burn like the fires in Hell?
Or am I really a sin, after all? Is my power really landing me a spot in eternal damnation?
***
William
I watch her at her doorway as she turns away from me. She has her eyes closed and she is breathing evenly and deeply, like she is already asleep. The moonlight streams around my shoulders and touches her face like the fingers of a goddess touching her cheeks.
I smile and close the door behind me. Walking down the eerie always, I listen for the cries of the undead, the patients. Here they are like prisoners. During the day, the place is bright with warm walls and flowers; at night, however, I never realized it is such an isolated nightmare. Instead of bright and welcoming, the walls reflected the creepy moonlight from the windows and the flowers remind me of funerals, not pastures.
Outside, I feel better. After locking up, I start to head home in silence. The wind has died down, leaving everything dead silent. I think about Alice. A week ago I hadn't even wanted to know of her existence. It's amazing how fast I can think of someone differently.
It isn't long before I reach my house. When I open the door, the only light inside the house is in the candlelight in the living room. My father has already gone to bed. My grandfather no longer sleeps at all. He is the one I find reading in solace.
"Have fun?" he asks kindly but nervously. He seems worried about something. His golden eyes reach mine and I pull my eyebrows down, confused.
"Sure," I reply. "Grandfather." I sit down across from him. Next to him there is a side table with a picture of my grandmother and my mother. They are hugging and grinning at the camera. I glance at it before looking back up at my grandfather. "What's going on? What happened tonight?"
He shakes his head.
"Do not worry, William," he replies quietly. "It is nothing that you need to concern yourself about." He looks back down at his book and closes it. "I am going to take a walk, okay? I'll see you at breakfast tomorrow. Get some sleep. Your late nights are going to catch up to you eventually."
He leaves like that and I stare at his chair and his ghost still with me.
I wake up the next morning to my father shaking me awake. "William, you overslept. Here, I made you something to eat. Take it and eat it on your way to work." My eyes snap open and I sit up, wiping my face with my hands; I feel stubble along my chin and I know I need to shave and make a note to do it later.
"Thanks, Dad," I say and get up. Quickly, I throw on a pair of pants and a white, button-up shirt. Usually, Grandfather is the one that is waking me up. "Where is the old man?" I ask my father, brushing a hand through my hair.
I follow him into the living room, swallowing my food before I had the chance to really taste it. "He's already left," my father says. "He left late last night and did not come home. I think he needed to get a drink or something." Get a drink, my father says, but what he means is something I just can't believe.
Or I won't believe.
I nod and head out the door. My father is a school teacher and has a bit more time than I do in the mornings to relax and wake up fully. However, this morning he is on the move as well. I realize then how late I overslept. If my father's moving, that means I'm about two hours behind my normal schedule. I should already be in with Alice …
Mrs. Brinkmen lets me have if with a slap on the back and a hearty breakfast filled with eggs, bacon, and even fried potatoes. I take the food gladly and head to Alice's room to share with her. She doesn't eat enough and Mrs. Brinkmen hardly ever makes food herself.
When I get there, I find her awake and leaning against the wall, watching the door. When her eyes meet mine, I can see that she's "seen" something that has scared her. Some would call this a nightmare. She calls it, "seeing the future."
"What did you see?" I ask her.
Her eyes immediately fill up with tears. She turns away. Though I don't believe in her visions, I can't help but set down the steaming plate of food on the floor and run to her side. She rests into my chest and lets her tears fall. She cries out loud. "What did you see?" I ask again. She lifts her head from my chest and her glassy eyes meet mine. Tears run down her cheeks and they don't cease.
"The end," she whispers. "I saw the end of everything."
And she cries out loud again and leans down to hide her face. I wrap my arms around her shoulders and pull her in, muffling her cries of pain. I don't know what she means by the end of everything. And as she continues to sob into my shirt, I can feel her tears on my skin.
I realize then that I don't want to know what she means by the end of everything.
Because I have the feeling it means end of everything, as in, everything.
A/N — I saw New Moon yesterday and it is definitely better than the first one. I loved the first one, but it just doesn't compare the vast improvements of the second one. This one was just … incredible. Definitely see it SOON!
=] And please review!
-Liz
