TWILIGHT IS NOT MINE.

Chapter V: Gone.

Rosalie's point of view.

"I really want my bed back, Emmett!"

"Rosalie! Are you even going to use that bed? It's not like you will try to sleep on it!" Emmett could be so stupid, sometimes. I really wanted a new bed; he had broken mine almost two weeks ago now, and still I had no bed.

"Ugh Emmett. I just want it, ok? This is a BEDroom, remember?" He just had to make a bed for me, it wasn't too hard. "You did mend the floor, why can't you build a new bed? There is plenty of wood; we are in a forest."

"Ok, a little thing there: to build an entire bed is easier than fix a hole on the floor? Are you really serious?" His face was in shock and strangely annoyed, showing something else that I didn't care. He had to make a bed for me and I admit it, I was not familiar with any kind of duties that a man should do in his home, but I did know that they were supposed to repair everything. That was what my father did when I was younger.

"I don't know Emmett! Just fix it." I turned my back to him, walking towards the piano bench in my nonchalant walk, when I suddenly – and thanks to the highly developed senses I had as a vampire - had to elude a large piece of wood that came flying across the room. I turned my head fast to face his eyes and immediately I saw that my Emmett wasn't there anymore. His eyes were dark, as well as the bags under them. He was thirsty. How could I not note it? How could I not know he was in hunger? His last hunt had been a week ago.

I could see there was shock in his gaze for throwing me something, but that was nothing compared to the irate and insane look in his eyes. He was some months away to the day he would not longer be a newborn and his improve was so fast, that I had forgotten completely the fact that he had to feed much more often than a experienced vampire like me. I could spend even two weeks without any problem at all, but Emmett? He was supposed to drink at least every three days. How could I be so negligent for the last week?

"Emmett, let's go hunting. You need to satiate yourself," I was talking quietly and being as slow as I could. Bloodlust would make him forget who I was and even hurt me if I was un-cautious. "Emmett, come here. Let's go."

He still was looking at me as if I was a threat. His crazed senses and mind were now ruled by his bloodlust and I had to be especially vigilant of him and myself. He stared at me for a long moment and then he took some steps towards me; his nostrils moved slightly smelling my scent, which apparently made him recognize who I was for a moment. Nevertheless, he growled softly as he walked straight to the door and started his way into the forest; this wasn't over, I still had to be careful around him in this state. I ran as fast as I could behind his scent to watch him closely. This had never happened to me before, how could I have lost track of time in such a silly way?

Carlisle had clearly specified to me, that I had to be very aware of his needs as a newborn, meaning: "feed him as many times as it is needed or he will kill you". Carlisle had told me as well, his thirst would be even more difficult to appease if Emmett passed too many days without any hunt. His mind would be pretty seduced by the temptation to go away and have a good, full-satisfying, human meal; after all, humans were supposed to be his new alimentation now. Damn! How could I be so stupid? One week was the longest amount of time in his life with not even a tiny deer; as wrapped in the reconstruction of my room as I was, I had forgotten his delicate condition, whilst he was doing everything I designate him to do, without any complaint.

I just had spoiled the entire advance we had made during the last eight months, all because of my needless request of a bed and a repaired floor. I heard soft and loud steps and I identified them as Emmett's and a big animal's, each. I followed the scent that was only his and I found him, already sucking the blood belonging to a bear. Of course it would be a bear. I waited a few meters away of him, when his gaze found mine again. He still was not my Emmett, but at least his eyes were not as intimidating as a few minutes ago. I was a little afraid yet, but I found the will to speak.

"Emmett?...D...Do you feel... better?" I asked unsure of myself. He didn't answer my question, just turned his back to me and started his search for another animal, throwing the empty body he had in his hands.

It took two male bears and a pack of four female dears to satisfy his thirst in a small extent, but it was not enough to soothe his temper. He was quite in the bad mood and I knew the cause of it: his mind was furiously asking a truthful victim, something that really finished the burning in his throat, the anxiety of killing a human and drink his sweet, appealing nectar. In his mind, the only thing that could replace his needs, was human blood. I was not confident enough to let him by himself and feed my thirst that day. I choose waiting one more day, I could do that. We head back to our house, and he spoke to me.

"About this afternoon, sorry." His voice was dry and without any feeling, so I knew he didn't mean it. I wanted to apologise myself, but my pride didn't let me speak, even given the circumstances. I knew it was my entire fault, there was no other responsible of the acts that had taken place this afternoon, but I was not going to say that out loud.

I notified him my intention of hunting the next day as I sat in the middle size couch, grabbing a piece of paper and a pencil situated in the little table in front of the settee. I did not want to look at him in the eye, so I started to draw. I remember how much I enjoyed drawing. I was very skilled as a human, in the opinion of my former professors. I took every kind of art lessons along my life; everyone was very supportive of my art work, as well as me. In my wildest dreams, I used to see myself as an important architect in the future city of New York, designing the most stunning, futuristic and attractive buildings in the place or even designing different kinds of vehicles. I was probably not the most intelligent girl in my classes, but surely I was the best when it came to drawing the portrait of someone or designing anything.

I didn't feel when Emmett stood behind me to observe my work, so I jumped in my sit when I heard his thick voice.

"Wow, that is a good work," he said sounding more like him, which relieved me in many ways. "I was such a disgust in art lessons. That's why I quit it. But you are VERY good in it."

"Well, thanks."

"Is that some kind of portrait? Who are they?" He asked quite interested in what I was doing, laying his chin on my shoulder.

"My parents and the twins. Or pretty much how I remember them." I explained flatly how much I really liked to draw my family; his closeness did not passed under the table for me. It always felt good and dizzy when he was this close to me.

"It is pretty good, Rosalie." He sounded honestly impressed by my abilities, and I felt flattered by his statement. He raised his head from my shoulder and passed over the couch to take place by my side; something was feeling uncomfortable between us though. After a long silence of thirty minutes, he dropped a bomb.

"This afternoon I felt very tempted to go to that town far away from here." He said casually.

"Why, exactly?" I asked nervously

He did not say anything for a moment; I lifted my head to meet his eyes, but he was staring curiously to nothing, maybe thinking about his answer. "I remember how good the blood of the very first victim I took felt... It completely satiated the thirst, but it was such an amazing taste that I just wanted more," I was a little taken aback by this, but I kept listening to his reasoning. "Today, of all days, I desired a human's blood in me like I never did before. I was totally blinded by some senseless rage that I knew would be solved if I drank what I'm supposed to drink." He did not look at me after he said all of this.

"I believe it was because your last hunt had been a while ago. You were very thirsty today; I can completely understand the way you felt this afternoon."

"I don't think it was that," I saw him with a questioning look. He stare at my draw for a moment and then back to me. "I still feel that urge and as for now, I still can't find a single reason to not succumb to it."

"Emmett, what exactly are you implying?" I gulped. Damn me for being so careless! "Why are you saying that? You have been done beautifully during all this time; I do not understand why you are saying this."

"Rosalie, we are vampires. We are supposed to drink human's blood. It's like the law of life. If we exist, it's because is not wrong to follow our instincts. While I was drinking in the forest those animals, I couldn't avoid the thought of the pleasure every single drop of blood gives you, once it reaches your throat. I couldn't avoid to compare the flavour of that woman to the flavour of those animals, and believe me I tried to put it in the same level. It's not possible at all. I felt and feel the urge of human blood right now; that's why I felt tempted to go to the town this afternoon." He finished his little lecture and I felt like I had been crashed by a train. How could he be thinking about this, after all this time?

"Are you telling me you want a human? Now?" I asked astonished.

"I'm telling you I think it's normal to do it."

"Emmett, it is not normal or natural to do such an atrocious act."

"It is, for us. It is the nature of a vampire."

"We are not natural, Emmett. We should not even exist," I was verbalising correctly again. "You can't be serious, right now."

"I think we should stop lying to ourselves and face the reality of what we are. We are supposed to eat humans, not animals Rosalie. We can do it together, maybe is the best. We torture ourselves by drinking animal's blood just because Carlisle says so. Maybe he likes it that way, but he never tasted human's blood completely. It makes you feel so fantastic, and satisfied. On the contrary the animal blood is so basic; I mean, why would you pick good when you can pick great?" He was so determinate to make me understand what he was saying and I was wholly horrified by how serious he was talking about.

"Maybe human blood can be the greatest pleasure a vampire can experience, but that human has a family and a life in front of them. We, as the creatures we are, take their lives illegally and interfering in their destiny. What I'm trying to say is that we do not have the right to decide who dies and who lives, Emmett." I was being more patient that I thought I'd ever be.

"Oh right, and who does? God?" He mocked sarcastically.

"I...I don't know, we just don't!" Our peaceful but tense conversation was turning fuming as we speak to each other.

"They are going to die anyways! In our hands or in any circumstance! Why being so merciful with them, if they'll die sooner or later. Besides there are many humans that don't deserve to live. We can hunt those down; we would even be doing a favour to the world," His eyes were back to that strange glimpse they took in the early evening, not as strong, but it was there. "What do you think? Would you come with me?"

"Go with you? Where? Killing humans? I'm not a monster and I do not pretend to become one! Emmett, what is wrong with you? You cannot take justice in your hands," I flinched at that last part because it was the most hypocrite thing I have ever said, but Emmett was really starting to scare me. "Look, Em. You are good, not a killer nor a monster. We have done wonderfully these last months, there is only one death person in you count, that is even better than Esme's total!! You cannot let these thoughts empower your mind and your person, you hear me? Is not the same kind of satisfaction, yes you are right; but at least you can held you head high because there is no crime on your back! Besides the fact that you can live quietly with others of our kind without the worry of killing or fighting with each other. You will not become a monster, I won't let you. Don't even think of that after being witness of your brilliant improvement. Please Emmett, for me." I looked at him pleading, almost begging in a way. His eyes, now with an orange-yellow colour looked somehow, cold and not entirely convinced of what I was saying to him. His handsome face had still remnants of the strange frenzy expression he adopted while he was telling me his arguments of human and animal blood. He stared at me that way for almost five entire minutes, until he just leaned back on the couch and placed his large hands in his face, then passing through his short curls and taking a permanent site behind his head; his face directly facing the ceiling. I stared at him worryingly, but I took his previous gesture as a defeated one and I leaned back as well in the same couch, working back in my portrait, not totally focused in my draw anymore. Emmett's speech took me completely out of place and I was still tremendously worried by this conversation.


"Will you come with me Emmett?" I was coming out of my bedroom, after changing the dress I was wearing, into a white fluent trouser and a loose, comfortable, baby blue blouse. My hair in a high ponytail, keeping the waves of my blonde hair back and last but not least: platform sandals, not very high, but enough to make my legs look even longer. I used to wear dresses most of the time, but I had a few pieces of trousers that were just lovely. I always wanted to look beautiful for Emmett; it wasn't a hard work, but trying was fun.

Today was the next day of our conversation. There was still some kind of oddness between, but I was attempting to hide it and forget it. He was just being curious about his true nature, I could not deny he craving into deeper thoughts about it, since he had tasted humans blood before; I could not explain myself why that memory came burning and sticking in his head after so long time ago. I knew I had to be extremely careful these days, until that idea was forgotten by Emmett. I was going to try to distract him as much as I could, I would use everything in my hands for it; he would not succumb to his lust, he couldn't.

Emmett was sat in the little bench, trying to read the notes of my score book. His eyes were focused on it, until he heard my voice and turned to face me. He was going to speak, but his mouth opened and closed a few times; these reactions of him worth the world. "I... No... You look... amazing. Where are you going?"

"I'm hunting."

"And you are wearing that?" He was genuinely amazed by my looks and his face was a little funny too. His eyes looked like if they would pop out of their places soon. They were filled with amazement, adoration and desire I could tell. His mouth slightly open and curving into a shy smile. "Thanks God there's no other vampires over here." I giggled... wait, I giggled? Even Emmett was surprised by my giggling, which make him chuckle. If I was human, I was positively sure that my face would have gotten red in embarrassment.

"So... you are not coming?" My mind was flying.

"No, I want to see if I can learn a song or two in your piano." He switched his look rapidly to the book in his hands. I guess it was fine, even when his last gesture had been weird in some way but I dropped it and turned my back to him, starting my way slowly to the door. Yes ,I was teasing him with my walk.

"Rosalie!" I turned my head to his call. "Don't go for long time." I gave him a questioning look, but he just shook his head and went back to his reading, as I went back towards the door. Even so, I still felt his gaze discreetly on my back; my worries of the day before, came as fast as they had gone in the first place.

For the first time in my vampire life, hunting became extremely difficult for me. I was totally out of hub and my preys were escaping from me quite easily; by now, three hours since I left my cottage, I had lost five deers and two foxes stupidly. My mind was left behind with Emmett in our place; something was telling me to go back with him, for the reason that he was acting so out of character since yesterday. But other part on me was telling me, as well to relax because I was overreacting and that I needed to calm my thirst. Again, I cursed myself for letting him reach that point of starvation.

I tried again for the next hour and a half and all I got was an impregnated rabbit. I sucked her blood, full of different savours. Pregnancy hormones gave blood, some sweet flavour that was very particular; it was saccharine in a small way and it smelled lovely; how could a pregnant human taste? If the smell was better, probably a pregnant woman would be a feast for a newborn... And then it hit me. Like planets falling above me: Emmett.

I had left Emmett alone in his current state of over thinking about his diet and about him as a true vampire. I had left him by himself in a status of doubts and confusion, longing for the human blood he once flavoured and now missed. I had given him a free pass to look for, and satisfy his lure; my God, I ruined everything two times in less of twenty-four hours. How, again, could I not tell the clues he had given me: not wanting to come with me, but at the same time, urging me to be back soon to him. He was, in a way, asking me to stay with him. I ran to the house as fast as my abilities allowed me to. When I got there, the door was open and his scent was soft. So soft that he could not be near here. There was a remnant of the wood-like, strong scent I loved so much... but that: a remnant. He was not there.

"Emmett... oh no, no, no, no, no, no… Emmett!" I ran into the house, but his scent was even weaker inside, which only meant, he had gone long ago. I raised my hands to my head and thrust my fingernails in my scalp, as well as I let out a scream of frustration. I had to find Emmett, no matter if it was too late, I had to find him. He could not leave and I was not going to leave him, either. A sob was trying to escape from my throat; I looked down, turned my head to the piano and I saw a little paper that was not supposed to be there. I went to it and it was note with Emmett's big handwriting on it.

"I don't think I will be able to meet my sisters after all. Forgive me for what I'm doing." If a vampire could turn even paler, I would have. I felt my world falling apart piece by piece. All Emmett and I had achieved during the past eight months had and was being torn apart in one day. All our efforts and success were now garbage; but no way in hell I was going to quit at him.

I ran out of the house and I went looking for him, all over the forest. I was crazed, freaked out and outside of my mind, searching for him. I was letting desperation took the best of me. I stopped in a clearing, situated a good two hours of my home and I began to tranquilise myself. To chill my mind and concentrate in follow his trace. I closed my eyes and let my nostrils filled with air, I took a deep breath and finally it hit my nose. He was no close to be found, as well as in the house, his scent was almost imperceptible. It was heading towards northwest, exactly in direction of the town he had spoken me about.

I was praying to God that it was not too late to find him, but then again, I noted in the air the provocative and inviting aroma that only one kind of blood has. Human blood. I ran faster to where the blood was coming, trying to ignore how excruciating the burn in my throat was becoming. It was not difficult to find the man laying face to heaven, between shrubs. His expression was pure, horrifying fear. He was a hunter maybe in his forty's, he had a gun in his right hand and there was a bag in his left, with rabbits inside of it. I could only imagine the speed Emmett used to kill this man. He was just the first of many victims. I left the man laying there, well then there was nothing I could do for him.

I followed the smell that would take me back to Emmett, but he had gotten far away so fast. After looking for my beloved for hours, I realized that it was dawn. I had spent hours searching in the woods before I got to the town, but he was nowhere to be seen or sensed. At least he had not killed anyone in the small town, but I wasn't counting with his self-restriction. He would kill sooner or later, but he would.

Whereas I was staring at the entrance of the small town, I assimilated the fact that Emmett had left me. He preferred to concentrate his head in his seek for blood and in that process, he had sacrificed whatever he felt for me, whichever our relationship was. I had being rejected one more time, and in this occasion for the one I had fell in love with. Although he was blinded by his lust for blood, we had had a beautiful time before this outrageous idea came flying to him. All those beautiful moments were nothing but rubbish at this point.

Emmett, my Emmett,had gone looking for something better and more appealing; and what was worst: it was all my fault. I was the one who didn't let him feed himself as constantly as he needed, I was the one who did not pay attention to the signs he was giving me, I had been selfish, self-centered, coarse and capricious to not notice his furtive ask of help. And all of this in the last twenty four hours! I was a failure. Edward's words came to my mind "he will give up too, as Carlisle did, as I did." A let out a strong sob; my Emmett gave up too and it was my fault.

"Where are you, Emmett?" I asked to heaven, as if it was going to show the path to find him. I had never felt this lost and lonely in my life. I felt like a fine piece of porcelain being thrown to the floor and breaking into countless pieces. I cried tearless, silent sobs. "For my sake, come back to me."


Yes people, kill me I know its been ages since my last update, but its mainly because I try to correct my chapters a thousand times because english is not my first language so I'm very insecure about it. Any mistake, pleeeeease tell me via review!! Thank you very much for the reviews and alerts =) Longer chapters are coming!!!! Very soon I must say!!! And probably I'll have to change the rate of this story to M. Please keep reviewing!!! I promise I'll update sooner!!