WARNING WARNING INCREDIBLY CRAPPY CHAPTER AHEAD.
"Raz, Raz. C'mon, wake up. You wanna save your girlfriend?" Vernon was poking at Razputin, still asleep in the pull-out bed of the motel room that his father had rented them for the night. "Raaaz, if you don't wake up, I'll dump water on you." Razputin was as responsive as a carrot in a coma. Vernon sighed. "Hey, you wanna hear what happened in my dream last night? First, I…"
"Okay, okay, I'm up. I'm up. God." Razputin sat up in bed in submission. He scratched his head as he shot Vernon a look that could easily cripple a person, if the one who shot the look wasn't half asleep. "Thanks for interrupting the best dream in my entire life."
"Really?" Vernon looked more excited than he should have. "What was it about?"
Razputin glared at Vernon in aggravated disbelief for a few seconds before rolling his eyes and spilling the contents of the dream. "Well, I was back at Whispering Rock, and Lili was there…" Vernon looked at the sheets where Raz was sleeping, as if afraid they would be wet from the product of…well…being…mature... "And we just sat on the beach of Oblongata for awhile, until Lili…"
"Oh my GOD!" Vernon's eyes grew wide. "What did you do? What did you do? Did you fu…" Before Vernon could finish that obviously inappropriate sentence, Raz's dad swiftly appeared behind the storyteller and covered his mouth.
"No, Vernon! Don't say that! This fic is only rated K+! You can't swear like that here!" Mr. Aquato shouted, breaking the fourth wall. Raz raised one eyebrow, wondering what the hell his dad was talking about.
"Uh…right…uh…" Vernon was put down and also wondering what was going on. "So, in your dream…did you and Lili…you know…"
"No, Vernon, we did not." Raz said, rolling his eyes again.
"Oh. Okay then. So…we gonna get going soon?"
"Yeah, just gimme a second." Raz climbed out of the trundle, stretching out his arms and legs. Then he stared at Vernon and his dad. "Uh, you know, unless you want to watch me get dressed…" the other two took the cue immediately.
"Ah, of course, son. We're going down to the front, where they have a buffet. You want me to get you something?" His dad said on the way out the door.
"I dunno. Maybe a bagel or a pastry or something. I don't care, as long as it's not hashed browns." Raz said, fetching some clothes from the duffel bag serving as his suitcase.
"All right, son. I'll be back in a jiffy." And with that, Raz found himself alone in the room, changing into his clothes. When he had finished, now wearing a graphic tee stating 'chainsaw beats rock, paper and scissors', some long shorts, and, of course, his goggles, he heard a knock on the door.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming. Hold your horses." The boy reached for the doorknob, but found himself hesitating. Sure, it was probably his dad, but why was there an odd sense of anticipation? He shook it off and opened the door. There, instead of his dad and Vernon, stood someone he recognized only too well. He gasped as he staggered back out of surprise.
"Surprised to see me, kid?" The crazy, burnt, and mutilated face managed with an evil smile. Along with this, no hair, and being ridiculously tall, this was one of the many homicidal maniacs that Raz had repeatedly hunted down. His name was Max Staplon.
"What…how…?" Razputin could not say anything else out of pure terror. Why was he here? Every other time he met the person, Raz was prepared. But he wasn't. It was one of the last things he expected. What was he doing here?
"I bet you're wondering what I'm doing here." The man strode in with ease. "Ever since you crossed the Kentucky-Tennessee border, I've been tracking you down. I'm not gonna tell you any more." The man showed a smile equally as disturbing, if not more, as the Cheshire cat's. He held a knife to the boy's throat, and Raz tried with all his will not to gulp. Would this be the end? To die by the hand of someone he had been hunting down for so long? Never to see his friends, his family…Lili…ever again?
"Raz, we there weren't any bagels, so we brought you a muff…OHMYGOD!" Vernon had screamed upon sight of the murderer.
"Vernon, what…my goodness! What the hell are you doing to my son?" His dad had also followed suit, nearly dropping the oversized blueberry muffin he was carrying, and using the bit of psyche he had left to conjure up some psychic fists.
"Looks like the gang's all here. What, you here to save your pu…" Max was swiftly punched in the stomach, and dropped Raz as he was flung to the wall. He looked pissed.
"Come on, son! Get your bag, and let's check out!" Mr. Aquato pulled his son out of the room, locking the door in the process.
About an hour later, they were at least sixty miles away. Needless to say, they never went back to that motel again.
Okay, you can relax now.
