Chapter Two: The Raikage's Appearance

I I I

The sun is setting, casting the whole village in a red pall from the side as it sinks down between the hollowed-out peaks that the village dug in to, as the clouds that lent the village its name spiraled around the craggy mountains' tops.

Kazahana Koyuki appeared in the swirl of fog that characterized the Kumo shunshin, kneeling professionally before the jounin that she was sent to summon. Koyuki is a career chuunin working in the Raikage's office and has nothing to do with the famous actress/princess from the Land of Snow (Spring, now) bearing the same name as her.

Samui looked down, and opened her mouth to speak to the messenger.

"I know! Because both have inky quills!"

Although her face remains professionally blank and she doesn't outwardly react, Samui can still tell that the messenger was confused.

Samui glanced over her shoulder, and Koyuki's gaze followed.

Karui kicked at Omoi, who stumbled back, still kneeling. Then she spoke. "That's stupid! It's because neither is made out of aluminum!"

"Your face is stupid!" Omoi retorted. "It's cause," he paused, frowning as he formulated his next sentence, "it's cause both make notes, see, but neither make notes that are really musical."

"What is it?" Samui asked.

"Huh?" Koyuki said, before facing the squad commander. "I mean, there's no right answer."

Samui sighed.

Koyuki, flustered, realized that Samui was asking why she was there. "Oh! Oh, the Raikage would like to speak with you three."

"Did he say why?" Samui asked.

"Because it slopes with a flap!" Omoi proudly announced, and Karui punched him in the face. Shouting, they both fell off the side of the building they were standing on.

Koyuki shook her head. "No; it's just a summons."

Samui nodded, and leapt off the side of the building to retrieve her wayward teammates.

Koyuki followed.

I I I

Amuro Kenta looked up from his desk, and smiled blandly at the Konoha ninja in front of him. Two Konoha jounin, plus five more; probably genin with their sensei for the exam.

"Can I help you?" Kenta politely asked.

One of the jounin nodded, pushing his glasses up his nose in what looked like a habitual gesture before speaking. "Yes, please tell the Raikage that we'd like to speak with him."

Amuro Kenta, secretary to the Raikage, nodded. "Two teams from Konoha for the chuunin exam?"

The other jounin, wearing an old-fashioned face guard, nodded. "That's correct."

Kenta nodded and stood up from the desk, quietly stepping over to open the door to the Raikage's office.

I I I

The red light of sunset impressively backlit the massive desk through the huge glass windows of the office of the strongest ninja of Hidden Cloud.

He frowned, and immediately shuffled the more sensitive paperwork off his desk and into the drawers. He looked up as the office doors opened, and the ninja he had summoned came through.

Samui strode confidently forward, followed by Omoi and Karui. They had set aside their bickering for the meeting, but both were scowling at each other rather fiercely. Trailing politely is the chuunin administrator Raikage had sent for them, ghosting in behind the team of three. She bowed to the Raikage and stepped back, waiting.

The Raikage is unimpressive in appearance. Clad in the robes of the Office of Raikage, he looks like more like a stand-in than the mightiest Cloud nin. A man of medium height with the beginnings of frown lines on his face and brown hair beginning to go grey, he has the ideal appearance of "early middle age." Although strong, his forte is not taijutsu. Although intelligent, his forte is not genjutsu.

No, his forte is combining Earth and Air chakra. Combining two chakra elements is intensely personal and unique to everyone, practically a blood limit. With his Tenchijutsu, the Heaven And Earth Skill, the Raikage is uncontested as an absolute, the Strongest of Hidden Cloud.

Sitting behind his desk in his office, the only thing that hints at what a hazard he represents is the muted aura of chakra that he habitually wraps around himself, surrounding himself with his signature power. Great strength hinted at under an unremarkable appearance; in many ways, Samui thinks with some bitterness, this man represents the exact opposite of everything Yotsuki-Raikage ever was.

"You summoned us… sir." Samui said, pausing just long enough to call attention to the so-called show of respect.

Deep inside himself, the Raikage sighed at having to once more play power-games with the stoic woman.

"Yes." The Raikage said. "During the upcoming chuunin exam, the three of you will be on rotation as the examiners for the third section."

Omoi responded to that. "That sounds a different kind of mission profile than we normally get. Unless there's some crazy insane prodigy, and they're gonna use summoning jutsu and immediately try to feed everybody to big honking tigers, and we're gonna have to fight our way free, and then—" Before he could say more, he was silenced by Karui kicking him and calling him dumb.

Raikage didn't sigh at the antics of the two, although it took some effort. "Nothing like that. It doesn't really matter who runs the exam tournament, as long as they're jounin competent enough to not get hurt by genin and loud enough to be heard when they make announcements."

Omoi scowled. "I dunno, this mission… it's not really our sort of gig, you know?"

"It is a calculated statement on my part." The Raikage agreed. "To present the illusion that you three fools are loyal to me."

Samui stiffened.

"Hey!" Karui shouted, reaching over her shoulder to grab one of her swords. "What exactly are you saying about us, eh?"

Immediately, an immense pressure of chakra descends on the three, staggering them. They are jounin, so they aren't forced into sweating and hyperventilation by the Raikage's aura, but it is a clear reminder. "It's fine if you don't like me." The Raikage says, casually walking around the desk. "As long as you obey me absolutely; as long as you are professional; I don't mind if you disagree." The Raikage stops before them. "In fact… I'll even offer you the same deal I was offered the previous Raikage. 'If you don't like the way I run things, then you can always take the Hat by force.'"

Samui snarled up at the supreme commander of her village. "And just for that you killed sensei's older brother?"

"Yes." Raikage said, and Samui glared at the man, glares that both Omoi and Karui also level on the man. "But…" the Raikage said, backlit by the blood-red sun and shadowed by the robes and hat of his office, "but, if you fight me here, I definitely won't spare your lives."

The tension is broken as the door to the office is opened. "There are some ninja to see you, sir." Amuro Kenta said; he politely ignored the anger in the room, instead pretending it didn't happen while he performed his duties as the Raikage's immediate secretary.

The Raikage spoke. "I understand that you hate me. But the previous Raikage was a fool who believed enough strength removed the need for thought. He was poison." He walked behind his desk, and calmly sat back down. "You three are the students of his brother, and probably the three most loyal to him that are left. So. If you go out there as my ninja, obeying my will, then it will present a message that Kumo is unified to the ones with the intelligence networks to know who you are; the other great villages."

Samui spoke. "So you want to make it look like we've forgiven you?"

Raikage sighed, closing his eyes for a moment, before nodding.

Samui pursued her lips, even as Karui growled. "Thanks… but we decline."

"When you became jounin," Raikage spoke, "You gave up certain rights. One of those rights was the privilege to refuse missions."

Omoi was the one that replied to that. "That's it then? We just gotta act like everything's okay, like it's okay you killed the Raikage to take his place?"

"Yes." The Raikage said flatly. "If that's all, then you're dismissed."

"But—" Karui snarled.

"Then, we'll excuse ourselves." Samui interrupted.

The Raikage waved absently as they left, exiting onto the balcony for ninja skilled enough to jump between buildings or plummet to the ground unharmed.

The Raikage slumped back in his seat, rubbing his face with his hands.

"Sir." Kenta said.

"What?" Raikage replied.

"There are a group of Konoha ninja waiting. They would like tickets to participate in the chuunin exam."

"Fine." Raikage said, sitting up straight and smoothing his ceremonial robes. "Send them in." He paused. "My hat is on straight, right?"

Kenta considered. "Yes, sir."

He turned and opened the door, stepping into the foyer beyond his desk. Somehow more paperwork has appeared; looks like a stack of budget requests that the Raikage will have to look over, and Kenta will have to review them. Sometimes, Kenta is willing to swear there is some kind of cursed summoning technique on his desk.

Kenta also notices there are more people. There's a boy in orange, talking rather loudly and the center of attention. He wonders why Yugito is there; emotionally distant, Yugito is a jinchuuriki, not attached to any team or squad, deployed wherever the Cat is needed. Kenta doesn't really feel comfortable around her. There's also a ninja from Hidden Sand, under the thickest makeup Kenta has ever seen.

Kenta clears his throat. They all knew he was there, of course, they were instantly aware when he came out of the office, but it's the polite thing to do. "The Raikage will see you now." He announced, stepping back to push open the door so they could all file in.

I I I

"Good Afternoon." Ebisu said, taking the initiative. "Under the name Ebisu, I nominate Team Six—Sarutobi Konohamaru, Naiashin Moegi, and Kinjikai Udon, Konoha genin all, for the Chuunin exam being hosted by Kumogakure in the seventh month." He stepped back.

Taking the cue, Yamato stepped forward. "Under the name Tenzou Yamato, I nominate Hyuuga Hanabi, Ese Sai, and Uzumaki Naruto, Konoha genin all, the same."

Kankuro stepped forward. "Under the name Kankuro no Sabaku, I nominate Areno no Genkuro, Gidaiyuu Michi, and Ryousan Masahiro, Suna genin all, the same."

"I thought you said they were all from Konoha." Raikage said dryly.

Kenta didn't shrug. "Well, they were when I left. There might be a couple more teams when I go back out."

Raikage grunted. "Well, then, as per SOP, I now open the floor to objections." He barely paused, and had opened his mouth to speak when he noticed that Yugito had stepped forward. "Well. I guess there actually is an objection."

"Sir." Yugito said. "Under the name Nii Yugito, I object to the inclusion of Uzumaki Naruto in the exam."

Naruto opened his mouth, but whatever he was goin to say was stopped by the look Yugito shot him. Half apologetic and half dismayed, it was clear she didn't want to do this.

Raikage also noticed. "Well. On what grounds do you object, Nii Yugito, Kumo jounin."

"Sir." Yugito paused, trying to decide how to phrase this. "Please check the listing for Uzumaki Naruto in the Bingo Book."

Raikage's expression didn't change, except his eyebrows both moved up a centimeter. "Well. Huh." He opened a draw, and rummaged around, frowning. Finally he closed the drawer and opened a drawer on the other side of his desk. After a bit more shuffling, his frown deepened. "Kenta."

"Yes, sir." Kenta said, stepping forward from where he had been politely lurking in the back.

"Where the devil is my bingo book?"

Kenta paused. "I think you left it in your other office."

"You mean the new one that used to be a torture room?"

"No, sir, your other new office, the one in the civilian administration building, the high-access one."

"Then what the devil is my bingo book doing in my least secure office?"

"I believe you where thumbing through it while Aoutonji was formally complaining about the damage to the roofs of his apartment buildings in the Green Hill neighborhood."

"Ah, yes, I remember now." The Raikage paused. "You wouldn't happen to have a copy of our bingo book, would you, Kenta?"

"As a chuunin, I only have clearance for Class Three intelligence." Kenta paused. "That said, yes, I do sir."

"Excellent. Can I borrow it?"

"Only if you promise that you won't lose it, sir."

The Raikage grunted, waving his hand half-heartedly.

Kenta sighed as he opened the door. "At least this time you were honest enough not to promise anything."

"I totally hope I'm this awesome when I become Hokage." Naruto whispered to Konohamaru.

A second later, a manila envelope whipped through the air, and the Raikage caught it, opening the clasp and dumping the plain blue book onto his desk. He opened it and leafed through, until he got to the correct page.

Naruto fidgeted while the Raikage read, lips moving slightly.

"Uzumaki Naruto." The Raikage said. "According to this, you're at least A-rank, plus you're the same kind as Yugito. Frankly speaking, if we fought, I would be taking you seriously." He shook his head. "Leaving aside the threat you represent to the other participants, wouldn't it look bad to sneak something like you into a chuunin exam?"

Naruto looked at Yamato, and then at Ebisu. Naruto half-wanted to rant and rave, but frankly being told he was overqualified was a new experience for him. "Uh, I guess the only thing I can say is that I'm really a genin. I didn't pass the last time I took the exam, and I only took it the one time."

Raikage pursed his lips. "Why don't you tell me about that one exam you took. How far did you get?"

Naruto shrugged. "Well, I got to the tournament, the third section, and I won my first fight! But then Orochimaru invaded and it was pretty hectic and I sorta had to go take care of something."

Kankuro coughed.

Naruto shrugged at Kankuro, with a 'what can you do' expression.

Raikage tapped his desk. "Tell me about that fight."

Naruto shrugged. "Well, I fought against Hyuuga Neji, and it was pretty close. He wailed on me pretty hard, but in the end I had more staying power."

Raikage frowned, and checked the bingo book again. "According to this, Hyuuga Neji was promoted to chuunin two years ago." He raised an eye. "And the rumor that he was promoted to jounin?"

"News to me." Naruto said, shrugging.

"Huh." Raikage said, tapping his desk some more. "And what was that something you had to take care of?"

Naruto winced. "Sabaku no Gaara."

"The Kazekage."

"Well, at the time, it was more Shukaku, really."

"The One-Tailed Beast. You took on a bijuu by yourself?"

Naruto shook his head. "Not by myself! I had to summon Gamabunta to help me."

"Correct me if I'm wrong," Raikage began, "but isn't Gamabunta the boss summon of the Toad clan?"

Naruto nodded.

Raikage nodded back. "Uh huh. You know, if one of my genin had to interrupt his chuunin exam to defeat a jinchuuriki, then I would promote them to special jounin. At least."

Naruto shrugged expansively. "I guess they didn't think I was leadership material."

Raikage nodded some more, tapping his desk. "Okay. Okay, I'll let you participate, as long as you swear a legally binding oath not to murder, maim, or otherwise permanently harm any of the other participants. This includes psychological damage from genjutsu, understand."

Naruto nodded. "I'll do it."

Raikage clapped his hands together. "Okay, then, I formally overrule Nii Yugito's objection." He paused. "Are there any other objections?"

He waited a beat before continuing. "Yugito?"

"None, sir."

"You sure?" Raikage pressed. "Speak now or forever hold your peace."

"No. Sir." Yugito said.

"Great!" Raikage said, opening his desk drawer to pull out some exam tickets. He paused. "Kenta," he began, "where the devil are the chuunin exam tickets?"

I I I

"I think I have a new role model." Naruto began.

"Seriously, don't." Yugito said. "He's like that all the time. He loses about half the reports anyone turns in and misreads the other half. He has his chuunin assistants write up all the mission assignments after the third time he accidently sent espionage agents to a wrong target!" Yugito shook her head. "He's better at politics than the Yotsuki-Raikage and he's better at long-term planning, but the man couldn't run an office if his life depended on it." Yugito paused. "I probably shouldn't be talking about our Raikage's weaknesses, should I."

Naruto chuckled. "Ah, don't worry about it. Old Lady Tsunade is an alcoholic."

"So, is it really okay for you to skip out on your jounin-sensei like this?" Yugito said.

Naruto frowned, considering the question. "Well… seeing as how Kage Bunshin transmit their memories back to the user when the jutsu ends, I'm not sure this counts as actually skipping."

"You know what I mean." Yugito said. "Creating a bunshin and leaving it while you run off totally counts."

Naruto shrugged. "To be honest, at this point, I'm only doing it because it annoys him."

Yugito shook her head. "You're terrible."

Naruto chuckled. "Yeah, I've picked up some pretty terrible habits from my teachers." He smiled, taking in the sights as the two ambled along the roads of Kumogakure. "So, what was with objecting to me testing back there."

Yugito paused. "You know how it is. It was just business."

Naruto frowned. "No, I don't know. I mean… why would you object if you didn't trust me? Aren't we friends?"

Yugito sighed. "I like to think we are, Naruto. But… business is business. Just because I'm friends with you doesn't mean that I can let that get in the way of my job. I had to object because you're so much stronger than the other genin."

Naruto thought about that, before shaking his head. "Yugito… do you really think that me being stronger means I'd use that to hurt them?"

Yugito shook her head. "I can't know for sure. I can't risk it."

"What the hell, Yugito, if you're my friend you should know me better than that."

"It doesn't matter! Naruto, we're shinobi. We can't let our personal feelings get in the way of our jobs. Even if we're friends… no matter what I feel for you, Naruto, at the end of the day we're still from opposing villages. That will always be between us."

Naruto frowned. "Just because of that… Yugito, there's never going to be a case where being from different villages will get between my friendships."

"Ha!" Yugito said. "An example, then. Kumogakure accepts a contract to assassinate someone. Konohagakure accepts a contract to protect the target. You and I are the ninja deployed by our villages to do the mission. What then, Naruto?"

Naruto pondered. "I guess… I guess we'd sit down and decide together whether they should live or die."

Yugito shook her head, disbelieving. "It doesn't work that way! It doesn't work that way, Naruto. Shinobi complete their mission no matter what."

"Shinobi complete their mission no matter what." Naruto repeated sourly. "That's really dumb. My first C-rank mission… it was a total mess, we were hired to protect a guy, and it turns out some missing-nin were sent after him. We fought, and because it was his mission, one of the missing-nin died. And then, his employer betrayed them! He was never planning on paying them in the first place, and they knew it!" Naruto shook his head. "To say 'no matter what,' and not think about the consequences… that's just an excuse for shinobi who don't want to be responsible for the consequences."

"That doesn't matter!" Yugito objected. "Even if, even if that's true, completing the mission you're given is still the core of what being a shinobi is! You can't turn your back on that."

"I can't." Naruto allowed. "But I can change it. I will change it. Once I'm Hokage-"

"Even one Kage can't make a difference!" Yugito said. "It's not just about what Uzumaki Naruto, Rokudaime Hokage, thinks is best, thinks is right. There's a whole world of shinobi out there, and you have to exist in their world. Hell… that's our world, Naruto."

Naruto grunted. "I still say it doesn't matter who they are, I won't betray my friends."

"Is that how it is?" Yugito said. "You think I betrayed you, because I did my duty to my village?"

"Oh, Yugito, I didn't mean it like that, you-"

"I wonder." Yugito cut in. "Well, I'm sorry I chose my village over you, Naruto. But I'm a proud Kumo shinobi before I'm anything to you. You're just going to have to accept that."

"Yugito-"

"I think," Yugito said, quieter, "that we should both leave, before one of us says something that they're going to regret later."

"I'm sorry." Naruto said. "It was wrong of me to even think of it as a betrayal. You were doing what you thought was best. But, ah, I just realized, it's getting pretty late, and I kinda need a place to stay for the night."

Yugito stared at him for a minute. "Aren't genin taking the exam given barrack lodging?" Before Naruto could answer, Yugito spoke again, "Wait, before that, I mean, how do you have the gall to ask me if you can stay in my house when I'm in the middle of storming off on you?"

Naruto shrugged, looking sheepish. "Well, uh, I dunno if it's gall or anything like that. But we are friends, and pretty good ones, I think, and it's okay if friends fight. Just because you're angry with me, that doesn't mean you're not precious to me."

Yugito paused, and stepped closer to Naruto. "But we were still fighting."

Naruto grinned, putting his hands behind his head. "Friends fight. That's normal. Healthy, even, maybe. But just because of a fight I'm not going to stop caring about you. No matter what."

Yugito considered that, before looking away. "You're very sly, you know that."

Naruto opens his mouth, and almost says 'Sakura-chan always calls me an idiot though,' but some instinct, that sounds like Jiraiya or Sakura herself, tells Naruto not to. So instead, he thinks about it, and says, "No one's ever said that to me before."

Yugito smiled softly. "Naruto… you should be more careful of the way you talk to me. I don't want to be the only one with a thread tied to me."

Naruto paused. "I'm, uh, I think you lost me there, Yugito."

"Of course." Yugito said, rolling her eyes. She turned and began walking away.

Naruto paused, wondering if he should follow her.

"You know," Yugito called over her shoulder, "I'm only going to let you sleep on the couch, and my apartment isn't that big, and I'm not going to cook for you unless you take turns and also cook for me, okay?"

Naruto smiled, and jumped, bouncing off the side of a roof to land in front of Yugito and start walking backwards. "That sounds great."

I I I

Yamato cleared his throat. "And here are the barracks. You don't have to stay here, but it's courteous to stay where the host village can keep an eye on you. Besides, a hotel can get expensive quickly, and they always have the highest rates up to and during the final of the final portion of the exam. It's the closest thing hotels in a Hidden Village have to a busy season."

Sai nodded. He was probably the most nervous of all the genin; being an ANBU operative did nothing to make him comfortable about sleeping in a bed provided by another village.

Naruto cleared his throat. It was loud and designed to get attention. Sai was beginning to wonder if everything Naruto did could be described that way.

"Yes, Naruto?" Yamato said wearily.

"What if, say, we wanted to stay at a friend's place?" He said, with the fakest innocence that Yamato had ever seen.

Yamato quirked an eyebrow. "A friend, huh? I would prefer you stay in the barracks, especially after that debacle in the Raikage's office. It would be best to act cooperative."

Naruto nodded. "Huh."

Yamato had a sudden, awful suspicion. "Naruto… why do you ask?"

Naruto flinched. "Well… maybe I'm asking someone if I can stay at their place?"

Yamato frowned. "So you're asking, present tense, huh?"

Naruto nodded.

Yamato looked at the ground, then suddenly looked up, glaring at Naruto with the intense, shadowed expression only he could accomplish. "Naruto… you wouldn't happen to be a Kage Bunshin while the real self is off gallivanting around again, would you?"

"Gah!" Naruto said, holding up his hands. "I'm just a fake, like you said, so why punish me instead of the real one!?"

"Because he'll still get this memory." Yamato growled, then sighed, looking at the ground. "I wonder how on earth Kakashi-sempai put up with your antics."

"Actually I'm pretty sure I picked most of this up from him." Naruto admitted.

Yamato grimly had to admit to himself the kid was probably right.

I I I

"Are you still giving me the silent treatment?"

The silence was quite oppressive. It seemed, Kisame mused, that yes, Itachi was still giving him the silent treatment. Undeterred, Kisame leaned forward to pick up another stick of dango and munch one thoughtfully before continuing.

"Well, I assure you that I had a good reason for aggravating the Pein into giving us this assignment." Kisame began. "Kakuuzu's plan—"

"I see." Itachi interrupted. "There's no need to say more."

"And there's something more to consider." Kisame said, smiling. "If all five villages are there, all five Kage will be there. Probably with the kinds of bodyguards they'd take to a place where other Kage will be with their elite bodyguards." He grinned, turning to gesture at his partner with a dango skewer. "And I know you've been itching for a rematch with the Tsuchikage after she almost got you last time."

Itachi paused before eating one of his own dango. "I am more powerful than I was then."

"But is she, you wonder." Kisame rejoined. "I know how you think. The thought that she has also prepared, researched the weaknesses of the sharingan and of you, personally… that thought delights you."

Itachi simply finishes chewing his dango and swallows, without acknowledging what Kisame has said. Suddenly, he focuses on something in the distance. "Kisame." He said, although he already had his partner's attention.

Kisame considers doing the gag where he keeps talking, oblivious, until Itachi finally interrupts and curtly explains he was trying to bring up something new; Itachi is such an excellent straight man for those kinds of gags that Kisame is willing to swear it's on purpose. But this sounds a little more serious than something gag-worthy. So Kisame answers seriously.

"What is it?" The shark man says, quietly enough that Itachi will know he's all business, now.

Itachi gestures with his chin, and Kisame turns to look, before smiling. "Well… look what just fell into our lap."

Kisame turns back to finish off the last dango on his stick, considering the irony of it all. Two years they had been chasing rumors of the Yonbi, wondering how the oldest of the jinchuuriki knew to go to ground, and all of a sudden the wily old man is just sitting out before them, wearing the coat of a local dice hall, still wearing that distinctive mark across his old face.

It's funny how things just work out sometimes, Kisame muses.

I I I

AN: So if Amuro Kenta is Peter Gibbons, then Kazahana Koyuki is Michael Bolton and Choedon (he hasn't shown up yet) is Samir Nagheenanajar. Naturally the three of them will be getting a get-rich-quick scheme as a subplot. This was back when I decided that the Raikage would talk like Bill Lumbergh to offset his hyper-competence and push him out of Mary Sue territory. I think instead this Raikage is turning out brutally honest, uncharismatic, and forgetful of administrative details.

When they first appear, Team Samui (except Samui) are arguing about how ravens are like writing desks. Koyuki is correct. The riddle doesn't have a canonical "correct answer" since the Mad Hatter was interrupted before he could tell Alice. Omoi comes close, though, since eventually Carroll gave in to all the people who kept bothering him for an answer and formulated the answer "for both can issue a note, though it is very flat, and for neither could one mistake the back from the front!"

Christ, I didn't major in English lit, how the hell do I pick this trivia up?

So. Roshi the Yonbi host (I called him Shisui before his name came out). Who's interested in Roshi vs. Kisame? There were a lot of fights that were basically skipped over in the manga because they didn't really involve any central characters (Kisame vs. Roshi, Zombie Twins vs. Yugito, the Sanbi capture), but since this is fanfiction, I can bloat it up with relatively unimportant scenes as much as I damn well please.