AN: THIS FIC IS AU. (Meaning Alternate Universe).

CREDITS: Credits to Xaleria for coming up with the title of this fic AND for helping me come up with some of the ideas for this chapter! THANK YOU!


WELCOME to matchmaker101 . com! At matchmaker101, we give 100 percent to help you find your one true love!

LOGIN: Username: simplesammy Password: ********

WELCOME simplesammy!

Options: MY ACCOUNT, MATCHMAKER QUIZZES, CHATROOM (1 msg waiting), FORUMS, SEARCH, HELP

(Chatroom) Click.

SadistAtHeart (12:35:17): I've been waiting.
SadistAtHeart (12:35:29): How have you been?
simplesammy (4:13:09): lol. You do know you sound like a stalker right?
SadistAtHeart (4:13:38): Asking how you are makes me sound like a stalker? What kind of world is this?
simplesammy (4:14:01): Lol. No silly, I mean the "I've been waiting"
Simplesammy (4:14:07): What, you have nothing better to do?
SadistAtHeart (4:14:20):
That depends on your answer. Would you like to hear a "yes", my life only revolves around you? Or a "no" I have better things to do than talk to you?
simplesammy (4:14:55):
hm, choice 1 sounds more appealing. :P
SadistAtHeart (4:15:06):
I thought you might say that.
simplesammy (4:15:10):
Lol, read my mind did you?
SadistAtHeart (4:15:18): Perhaps I did.
SadistAtHeart (4:15:22): I could be watching you.
simplesammy (4:15:29): lol. And you say you're not a stalker :P

Options: MY ACCOUNT, MATCHMAKER QUIZZES, CHATROOM, FORUMS, SEARCH, HELP

(New Tab) Click.

URL: www . gmail . com

LOGIN: samsimpson

Password: ******

ONE NEW MESSAGE:

From: matchmaker101

To: samsimpson gmail . com

Subject: NEW MATCHES!

Simplesammy, congrats! We have found new matches for you based on the matchmaker quiz you took. Click on the name to see their profile page! Good luck!

(Note: Please do not respond to this email.)

MATCHES:

99% - SadistAtHeart

90% - DBVris

80% - R0llwitit

70% - zzzsnoozezzz

(SadistAtHeart) Click.

Options: MY ACCOUNT, MATCHMAKER QUIZZES, CHATROOM (1 msg waiting), FORUMS, SEARCH, HELP

Name: SadistAtHeart
Age: 22
Sexual Preferences: Man looking for a woman
Photo Gallery: (Click here for photo gallery)
About Me:
Find out for yourself.
Hobbies: Eh.
Status: Single
Studying: Again, find out for yourself.

(Chatroom) Click.

SadistAtHeart (4:22:03): My email is telling me that we're meant to be together.

'Shit.'


"Any matches yet?"

"No Clover."

"WHAT? Have you even taken the matchmaker quiz yet?"

"Yes Clover."

"And you haven't found a guy yet?"

"No Clover."

A sigh. "Grr, that stupid site…"


WELCOME to matchmaker101 . com! At matchmaker101, we give 100 percent to help you find your one true love!

LOGIN: Username: simplesammy Password: ********

WELCOME simplesammy!

Options: MY ACCOUNT, MATCHMAKER QUIZZES, CHATROOM (2 msgs waiting), FORUMS, SEARCH, HELP

(Chatroom) Click.

SadistAtHeart (3:40:02): Ignoring me I see. It's been three days.
SadistAtHeart (3:40:06): Just for the record, ignoring me won't make me go away.
simplesammy (4:03:53): Lol, I'm not ignoring you
simplesammy (4:03:59): but I'm flattered to knw that you're thinking about me. :P
SadistAtHeart (4:04:04): Think what you want.
simplesammy (4:04:10): lol w/e. I g2g go again. Bye
SadistAtHeart
4:04:15): I'm sure you do.
SadistAtheart
(4:04:18): Bye.

LOGOUT? (Yes) (No)

(Yes) Click.


Clover and Sam were walking besides each other on their way to History class, and had planned to meet Alex there. Sam was ready to drop High School if it meant never seeing Clover again, since Clover continued to talk about Sam's love life, of lack thereof.

"Sam, I'm positive you haven't taken the matchmaker quiz! It's been five days, and you still haven't found a match?"

Sam sighed. "Maybe… the email went into the spam folder. You know it does that."

A lie. All lies.

"So check the spam folder!"

"Clover? Hello? The spam folder gets deleted."

Excuses, excuses.

"Grr… then take the quiz again! And again! And again until you find the perfect match!"

She sighed again. "Do I have to?"

"One word Sammie. Sleepover."

Insert groan here.

"By the way, we need to upload some of your pictures."

Insert a "I want to die" comment here.


URL: www . gmail . com

LOGIN: samsimpson

Password: ******

MESSAGE:

From: matchmaker101

To: samsimpson gmail . com

Subject: NEW MATCHES!

Simplesammy, congrats! We have found new matches for you based on the matchmaker quiz you took. Click on the name to see their profile page! Good luck!

(Note: Please do not respond to this email.)

MATCHES:

99% - SadistAtHeart

90% - DBVris

80% - R0llwitit

70% - zzzsnoozezzz

(SadistAtHeart) Click.

Options: MY ACCOUNT, MATCHMAKER QUIZZES, CHATROOM (1 msg waiting), FORUMS, SEARCH, HELP

Name: SadistAtHeart
Age: 22
Sexual Preferences: Man looking for a woman
Photo Gallery: (Click here for photo gallery)
About Me:
Find out for yourself.
Status: Single
Studying: Weapon Technology

'Weapon Technology? Guy must be smart.'

(Photo Gallery) Click.

'Ooh. He's really cute too…'

'Maybe this isn't as bad.'

(Chatroom) Click.

SadistAtHeart (5:20:03): Still hiding from me?
simplesammy (5:20:10): Lol, hide from you? Never.
simplesammy (5:20:15): Lol, since we're meant to be
simplesammy (5:20:19): Tell me about urself.


"Have you found a match yet Sammie?"

"Yes Clover."

"WHAT? Tell me about him right now missy!"

"Maybe later Clover."

"Is he cute?"

"You'll see."

"We need to upload your pictures now!"

"Whatever you say Clover."


WELCOME to matchmaker101 . com! At matchmaker101, we give 100 percent to help you find your one true love!

LOGIN: Username: simplesammy Password: ********

WELCOME simplesammy!

Options: MY ACCOUNT, MATCHMAKER QUIZZES, CHATROOM, FORUMS, SEARCH, HELP

(My Account) Click.

NO PHOTO AVALIABLE.

Name: simplesammy
Age: 19

Sexual Preferences: Woman looking for a Man
About Me:
Status: Single
Studying:

EDIT PROFILE, UPLOAD PICTURE, SET PROFILE TO PRIVATE, CHANGE PASSWORD, CHANGE EMAIL

Options: MY ACCOUNT, MATCHMAKER QUIZZES, CHATROOM, FORUMS, SEARCH, HELP

(Upload Picture) Click.

PICTURE UPLOADED. SAVE CHANGES? (YES) (NO)

(Yes) Click.

(Edit Profile) Click.

Name: simplesammy
Age: 19
Sexual Preferences: Woman looking for a Man
About Me: I love reading. I have been told that I'm a leader, but I don't like to brag. I love martial arts, karate, jutsu, tai kwon do (and am good at it). I am usually a shy person. This is not the site for me, (ahem, Clover.)
Status: Single
Studying: Not sure, still in college.

SAVE CHANGES? (Yes) (No)

(Yes) Click.

Options: MY ACCOUNT, MATCHMAKER QUIZZES, CHATROOM, FORUMS, SEARCH, HELP

(Chatroom) Click.

IM with: SadistAtHeart

simplesammy (2:04:20): Weapon Technology huh?
SadistAtHeart (2:04:25): Yes.
simplesammy (2:04:30): What kind? And for who?
SadistAtHeart (2:04:35): NASA

'Wow'.

simplesammy (2:04:49): impressive
SadistAtHeart (2:04:52): I try
simplesammy (2:05:01): what kind of weapon?
SadistAtHeart (2:05:10): Darling, that's classified information.
simplesammy (2:05:14): aw * pouts *
SadistAtHeart (2:05:19): That wont work on me
SadistAtHeart (2:05:22): Nice try though
simplesammy (2:05:25): lol I'll keep that in mind
simplesammy (2:05:30): dw I'll find out one day
SadistAtHeart (2:05:34): I'll tell you if we ever meet in person.
SadistAtHeart (2:05:45): I don't trust the Internet to keep secrets safe.
simplesammy (2:05:57): I expect you to keep your word on that.
SadistAtHeart (2:06:01): Don't worry, I always do.

'Wow, smart, cute and keeps his promises? … This site can't be that bad…'

'He's not that bad at all…'

simplesammy (2:06:10): wow. How do I knw I can trust u?
SadistAtHeart (2:06:13): You don't. :P
SadistAtHeart (2:06:16): Jk
simplesammy (2:06:18): ll
simplesammy (2:06:19): lol*
simplesammy (2:06:25): comments like that aren't going to help u
simplesammy (2:06:29): gain my trust easily
SadistAtHeart (2:06:35): That's not very fair
simplesammy (2:06:38): what?
SadistAtHeart (2:06:52): I've already established that I trust you since I do want to meet with you
SadistAtHeart (2:06:55): and you don't trust me?
simplesammy (2:06:59): you should be so quick to trust
simplesammy (2:07:04): not that I'm bad or anything. Im not
simplesammy (2:07:10): but everyone needs to be careful over the internet
simplesammy (2:07:14): Scary shit happens.
SadistAtHeart (2:07:26): Aw, and here I thought I could easily convince you to come home with me and let me have my way with you.
simplesammy (2:07:29): ROFL =))
simplesammy (2:07:36): you're hilarious
SadistAtHeart (2:07:40): Haha, I try.
simplesammy (2:07:44): sorry I g2g
SadistAtHeart (2:07:48): All right.
simplesammy (2:07:50): uh wait

… 'Should I do this?'

SadistAtHeart (2:07:55): :) You're the one leaving :P

… 'Haha, he's not that bad.'

'Okay then.'

simplesammy (2:08:03): My name's Sam.
SadistAtHeart (2:08:30): Tim.

LOGOUT? (Yes) (No)

(Yes) Click.


"So, what's he like?"

"Don't worry about it Clover."

"WHAT? I'M the one who showed you the site! I'M the one who made an account for you! I should be the first person you tell anything!"

"Clover, trust me, when I decide to meet him in person, you'll be the first to know."

Another lie.

I don't want her butting in on this and possibly ruining it by saying the wrong thing and scaring him off.

Not yet.


WELCOME to matchmaker101 . com! At matchmaker101, we give 100 percent to help you find your one true love!

LOGIN: Username: simplesammy Password: ********

WELCOME simplesammy!

Options: MY ACCOUNT, MATCHMAKER QUIZZES, CHATROOM, FORUMS, SEARCH, HELP

IM with: SadistAtHeart

simplesammy (7:30:04): Hey there
SadistAtHeart (7:30:10): Hello

… 'Ugh, a call from Clover. No doubt it's to ask me about Tim.'

simplesammy (7:30:22): I'm annoyed at my friend
SadistAtHeart (7:30:29): Why is that?
simplesammy (7:30:35): she keeps asking me about you
simplesammy (7:30:41): she's the one who made this account for me
simplesammy (7:30:50): but now she wont shut up
SadistAtHeart (7:30:59):
I see. I'm glad she made the account for you :P
SadistAtHeart (7:31:07): But I have an idea. Ever heard of a mock date?
simplesammy (7:31:15): No I haven't. whats that?
SadistAtHeart (7:31:22): Simple
SadistAtHeart (7:31:50): Both of us go to 2 diff. places that we would choose for each other, at the same time
SadistAtHeart (7:32:09): And then we would text each other what we would do if we were on a real date
SadistAtHeart (7:32:15): And that way
SadistAtHeart (7:32:22): we have a "date" with each other
SadistAtHeart (7:32:29): and your friend will shut up.
simplesammy (7:32:37):
omg ur amazing!!
SadistAtHeart (7:32:39): Unless you want to go on a real date with me :P

'Did he just…?'

simplesammy (7:32:56): lol as much as I'd love to
simplesammy (7:33:04): for all I know you could drag me to your house and have your way with me :P
simplesammy (7:33:13): but not yet.
simplesammy (7:33:20): I don't want clover harassing you yet.
simplesammy (7:33:26): wait till I get her off my back
SadistAtHeart (7:33:30): Is that a yes?

'Oh my…'

simplesammy (7:33:35): haha, I suppose it is.

Options: MY ACCOUNT, MATCHMAKER QUIZZES, CHATROOM, FORUMS, SEARCH, HELP

(My Account) Click. (New Tab)

Name: simplesammy
Age: 19
Sexual Preferences: Woman looking for a Man
About Me: I love reading. I have been told that I'm a leader, but I don't like to brag. I love martial arts, karate, jutsu, tai kwon do (and am good at it). I am usually a shy person. This is not the site for me, (ahem, Clover.)
Status: Single
Studying: Not sure, still in college.

EDIT PROFILE, UPLOAD PICTURE, SET PROFILE TO PRIVATE, CHANGE PASSWORD, CHANGE EMAIL

(Change password) Click.

Old Password: ********

New Password: *******

Retype New Password: *******

SAVE? (Yes) (No)

(Yes) Click.

PASSWORD CHANGED. CHECK EMAIL FOR VERFICATION.

Options: MY ACCOUNT, MATCHMAKER QUIZZES, CHATROOM (1 msg waiting), FORUMS, SEARCH, HELPb

(Chatroom) Click.

SadistAtHeart (7:34:04): And when will that be?
simplesammy (7:36:29): You tell me.
simplesammy (7:36:34): but shouldn't we plan the mock date first?
SadistAtHeart (7:36:42): I'd much rather have a real date.
SadistAtHeart (7:36:50): But fine. How's Friday sound?
simplesammy (7:36:55): 7:30?
SadistAtHeart (7:37:02):
Great.
simplesammy (7:37:10): haha, perfect. :P
SadistAtHeart (7:37:13): What's your number?
SadistAtHeart (7:37:19): Mine's 829-3030
simplesammy (7:37:24): ok mines 424-9291
simplesammy (7:37:29): cant wait.
SadistAtHeart (7:37:34): Neither can I.
SadistAtHeart (7:37:39): So, tell me more about yourself. Favorite music artist?
simplesammy (7:37:46): hmm, my fav artist? Hm… I'm not sure but I do like Evanescence lol.
SadistAtHeart (7:37:55): I'm a fan of Disturbed.
simplesammy (7:38:05): Amy Lee's voice is amazinggg
simplesammy (7:38:10): this might seem silly but fav color?
simplesammy (7:38:16): color says a lot about a person
SadistAtHeart (7:38:19): Black or Red.
simplesammy (7:38:22): Green.
SadistAtHeart (7:42:32): Impressive. Martial Arts, Jutsu, Tai kwon do, Karate
SadistAtHeart (7:44:37): You're not a girl to mess around with.
Simplesammy (7:44:42): Haha yep. :P Thanks
SadistAtHeart (7:44:50): np. Favorite food?
simplesammy (7:44:58): omg Pasta :D
SadistAtHeart (7:45:03): I enjoy pasta as well.
simplesammy (7:45:14): wow, on our date we should totally go out for pasta :P
SadistAtHeart (7:45:20): I'll keep note of that. Favorite drink?
simplesammy (7:45:24): 3 tea
SadistAtHeart (7:45:33): :) I prefer coffee.
simplesammy (7:45:38): coffee is my best friend during all-nighters.
SadistAtHeart (7:45:41): Haha
SadistAtHeart (7:45:49): You already know what I am, what do you want to be?
simplesammy (7:45:56): Not sure really. I'll get back 2 you on that
simplesammy (7:46:06): Favorite book? I adore Pride and Prejudice
simplesammy (7:46:13): Jane Austen is my hero. You?
SadistAtHeart (7:46:18): Helter Skelter. Ever read it?
simplesammy (7:46:24): Yea I had to read it for class.
simplesammy (7:46:31): bout Charles Manson right?
SadistAtHeart (7:46:33): Yes, I was close to becoming a criminal psychologist
simplesammy (7:46:35): that's interesting
SadistAtHeart (7:46:36): but I decided not to.
simplesammy (7:46:40): why not?
SadistAtHeart (7:46:49): Various reasons. It just… didn't match who I am.
simplesammy (7:46:54): oh ok

'Another text from Clover? What does she want???'

Clover: y the hell did u change ur passwd?!?!

'Heh, I knew it was a good idea to change my password.'

SadistAtHeart (7:48:03): hm, ever had a boyfriend? Esp. any jealous ones I should know about?
simplesammy (7:48:13): lol I hope not. I have had a few. U?
SadistAtHeart (7:48:20):
So have I. You're not the jealous type are you?
simplesammy (7:48:26): lol I don't think so. Are you?
SadistAtHeart (7:48:30): Hm, no, but I'll admit, I am a bit overprotective
SadistAtHeart (7:48:38): but not to the extent where I'll go crazy.
simplesammy (7:48:47): haha that's good. Its ok I think its sweet
SadistAtHeart (7:48:53): Hm, what's your biggest fear?
simplesammy (7:49:04): um… I dunno.
simplesammy (7:49:10): I think…
simplesammy (7:49:18): just my family and friends being gone
simplesammy (7:49:27): if they were gone I don't know what I'd do…
SadistAtHeart (7:49:34): Then you better hope it never happens.
SadistAtHeart (7:49:40): Like you said, scary shit happens.
SadistAtHeart (7:49:48): You have to be careful, right?
simplesammy (7:50:05): …Yea, you're right.
SadistAtHeart (7:50:11): I'm only repeating what you said.
simplesammy (7:50:18): Lol yea. Sry I g2g. Byeeee
SadistAtHeart (7:50:20): Goodbye Sam.

LOGOUT? (Yes) (No)

(Yes) Click.


END.

Yes, so, this is AU (since I don't know how many of you actually read the AN's at the top), and also, credits to Xaleria07 for coming up with the mock date thing. :D

Please review!!!

Love,

Ivy