Chapter Ten: 617
It wasn't clear who purposed a guys day first, but the whole house ran with it. It started off simple then progressed to bigger and better thing. It got to point that none of the girls knew what their exact plans were anymore. Rogue was surprised to hear an invitation for Olivier extended from Kurt and Bobby and not Remy. She wasn't sure why Remy didn't think to do that, later she found out that he wasn't planning on going. She debated asking why but decided against it.
The tension between Rogue and Remy had died down a considerable amount. It was their tranquil conversation that opened their minds to what was happening between them. They found themselves trapped in that awkward limbo state. Where their relationship wasn't defined yet there was an attraction but there will always be that beacuse they were each other's first love. Yet a lot stood in their way, there was much to say to one another, that was deeper then the surface feeling. It got to the point where worlds couldn't express the extent of what they were feeling.
Rogue was laying in her bed taking in another late morning, she had been doing it more frequently. She didn't want her son to see her battle the demons that bubbled in her mind. So she used the solo time to reflect on what was necessary for her and Olivier's future Rogue found herself at a crossroads again.
The dividing factor for Rogue was that she had learned first hand in the past that every action had a consequence. She had spent her days as an X-Man trying to redeem herself, every crisis she was the first to volunteer and the first to make a sacrifice. After being the reason for pain in others and taking lives Rogue sacrificed the one form of happiness, Remy. Her ideology was that she will no longer be selfish in happiness after taking it from so many. She believed it too when Remy wasn't there but when he showed up she didn't understand what she did to deserve to have him back in her life.
Rogue viewed herself as a monster for too long. Her sessions with Charles Xavier opened her mind up to the distant possibility that maybe she was saw herself as monster at one time and after all her action she had become a monster redeemed. He gave her the valid points that once Olivier was born he was is a precious gift all his own, but it was that fact that Remy was the father. Remy came back twice to be in Rogue's life odds like that shouldn't be taken lightly. Adding on top of that Remy cared for Rogue and if she was a monster she wouldn't care back
But she did.
Remy used to send letters weekly to Rogue but stopped when Pietro wrote back in kind words saying that he had and will burn every letter sent. Since then Remy transferred his letters to e-mail. The e-mail was Rogue's as a young teen, no one knew she had it besides Remy and her mother. Her mother hadn't contacted her years but within the last few weeks she had been calling requesting a meeting. Naturally Rogue would decline and erase her messages.
Charles suggested that she go back and re-think the possibility of meeting Mystique it may give her a small form of closure. In one of Mystiques messages she mentioned that had e-mailed her before. Rogue could handle a note from her mother more then hearing her voice or seeing her.
It had been years since Rogue logged into her e-mail, some would have forgotten their password but for Rogue it wasn't hard.
"Diable blanc." She never thought she would say or type that again.
Upon opening her e-mail she discovered that Remy had e-mailed her too which was news to her. She had no idea that Remy had done that. Scrolling down she realized it wasn't once or twice it was pages. Six hundred and seventeen unread emails from Remy, he e-mailed her every time he thought about her.
"Holy…" She clicked page after page in awe trying to sort threw them, all of them different lengths. She convinced herself that she would just read one.
One turned into ten, then a page then before she knew it Rogue was one thirty seven:
Marie I met an angel today, in my dream. I was holding you in my arms as the sun shinned on your face you were holding our daughter. She was no more then a week old. She had the biggest green eyes I've ever seen, besides yours. We named her Rebecca makes you wonder what could have been.
One fifty two:
I thought I saw you today she looked just like you expect when she turned around it wasn't you, I swear if I ever get you in my arms I wouldn't let go without making a stronger stand. I'm sorry, sorry that I didn't fight harder for you. I rather be in your life hated then not at all.
Two ten:
I found myself buying crocuses today, maybe I'll plant them I don't know I just miss the smell your scent…
Two fifteen:
Do you still look to the North Star and make a wish? I do I wish on it everyday for you... Even if you don't want me please forgive give for what I've done to make you hate me.
Two forty two:
Sorry that I haven't written to you in awhile I went on a mission. I'm back with the guild I know I vowed never to go back but I don't have a home without you.
Two sixty seven:
I don't know how I ever got you. I think back to the day in the dinner that Sunday after noon I'd take the pecan pie any day.
Two eighty:
The stars are bright here almost as bright as in the south, remember when you broke curfew and stayed in tree-house all night with me. You never looked as beautiful as you did then. I never found anyone to match that night FYI.
Two eighty one:
I love you….
Rogue continued to read the letters moving her lab top to a different room each time. She sat at the kitchen table just putting chicken into the oven. She had to pick up Olivier from JJ's house in less then hour, to pass the time she continued to read.
Three forty eight:
Rogue know when I'm training where I am, we need to talk about what I did you hate me I know but I have something to say to you about that day that you need to hear… Raven
"Beep, Beep, Beep!!!" The smoke alarm went off in the kitchen was filled the room with smoke. It scared Rogue half to death she fell out of her chair almost to tears.
"Rogue!" Remy jumped in rushing from the front door. He quickly opened windows and disconnected the alarm. "Rogue?! What's the matter with you." He took of the dish of chicken out of the oven.
"Mom made a fire!" Olivier stood from the hall pointing in. "Mom, Mom, Mom!"
"Olivier please…" Rogue was in one dazed confused state.
"Oli go wash up." Remy told fanning the smoke away the best he could.
"Rogue." He grabbed her hands "What are you doing!?" Remy stressed in a low voice, trying not to cause scene.
"What happened?"
"The chicken burnt…" Rogue stared in disbelief.
"Yes the black lump I guess could have been a chicken once."
"There was smoke everywhere and glass cracked there was that shook and…"
"Rogue what are you…"
"Then she slipped, and pulled you in, I would never and she…" Rogue stared down her body shaking. "I didn't I should have… I knew she would but."
Remy wasn't sure what was going exactly but held her close to his chest until her sentences made sense.
"I have to get Olivier from JJ…" she said into his shoulder.
Remy pulled her back, frightened by what she said "Cher he is here I got him twenty minutes ago Vienna said you weren't answering your cell so she called the main house? What's going…"
"Sorry, I do know that he's here I'm sorry my head and there's no food and…" she sighed "I'm sorry Remy I don't know what came over me."
Rogue walked over to the table and sat on it. "You sure you're ok?"
"No, I'm not. I have something I have to ask you Remy but this place…"
Remy didn't understand what she was saying but knew what she meant by this place it held to many mixed memory's that tore at her in either direction.
"Go out with me."
"What…"
"Come out with me for diner… tomorrow" he asked in a low tone, he didn't make eye contact too afraid of rejection. Rogue saw him shying away she thought it was adorable.
"Dinner tomorrow?"
"Yeah."
"This isn't a date though right?"
Remy felt like he actually making headway then she turned it back into a fantasy.
"You mind if I skip dinner tonight you guys can get a pizza or something? I need to cheek something out…"
"No problem." Remy answered still shaken by Rogue strange mood swing.
Rogue cleared her face with her hands one more time collecting her lab top.
"Rogue." Remy reached for her hand "You know no matter what it is I'm here I want to be you for you…"
"I…I got to go." She pulled her hand away.
