Why You Should Not Trust Emmet as a Babysitter
Chapter II
Written by: AllApologies451994
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, any of its characters, MCR, Demolition Lovers, Aqua, or Barbie Girl. I also don't own GameInformers. I also don't own the Gerard Way quote I mention at the end of the story.
It was beginning to rain outside. Emmet and Renesmee, who had grown bored, were sitting around on the couch. Renesmee had the TV turned on Barney and Emmet was reading the newest GameInformer. Emmet, who was so into his GameInformer, had not heard Renesmee the first time she said she was hungry. She was repeating the words "Emmy, I hungwy" over and over, and he still never heard.
She did not like being ignored.
She grabbed the GameInformer out of Emmet's hands and ripped it to a million shreds. He turned to look at her in shock, and yelled at her. "YOU RIPPED IT UP AS I WAS READING ABOUT GUITAR HERO 5!!!! They were having a thing about how they crapped all over Kurt Cobain by ruining his image..." She then grew tired of his rant and slapped him. She then said "Food. Now." So he got up and threw some potato chips at her. "Eat this."
She mumbled something that suspiciously sounded like "retard" and went into the kitchen. She came back with a can of baby food and a spoon. She opened it all by herself, because she's the super awesome vampire-human hybrid and can do stuff like that on her own. Emmet asked "How did you do that?" and she looked at him as though he was stupid. ...I know what you're thinking, he IS stupid, but... you know what I mean.
She ate her meal in peace, because Emmet somehow materialized another GameInformer exactly like the one he had before out of thin air. When she got done, she decided to have some fun. She took her empty food bottle and threw it at Emmet's head. He looked at her really funny and she smiled at him innocently. He turned back to his magazine and acted as though nothing had happened. Renesmee, who had thought of that as a failure, decided to sing at the top of her lungs a song that she had been taught by her mother in order to aggravate Emmet.
"I'm a Barbie girl in a barbie world
Life in plastic, it's fantastic...."
To this, he smacked her. "Don't you EVER sing that song when I'm in here." She was taken aback, and started crying. And man, could she wail. She cried and cried for almost 20 minutes. 19 minutes and 36 seconds, to be exact. Emmet began to get worried; what if they came back and she was still crying? She saw the panic in his eyes and screamed even louder. So, he started to sing a lullaby to her. Well, it wasn't really a lullaby, but it calmed her down for some odd reason.
"Hand in mine, into your icy blues
And then I'd say to you we could take to the highway
With this trunk of ammunition too
I'd end my days with you in a hail of bullets"
She couldn't resist it; it was such a beautiful song, that she calmed down almost instantly. He kept going, hoping to get her to sleep.
"I'm trying, I'm trying
To let you know just how much you mean to me
And after all the things we put each other through and...."
His plan worked. She fell asleep, her head on his shoulders. Emmet laid her on the couch opposite him and materialized another GameInformer out of thin air, and sat down. "That was easy peasy pumpkin peasy pumpkin pie."
END OF CHAPTER
A/N: Hi! Let me start out by saying I don't own the songs I mentioned in here (Barbie Girl by Aqua and Demolition Lovers by My Chemcial Romance) nor the quote at the end. That one belongs to Gerard Way. And I slightly edited it because their might be a child that reads this. And for all of you people out there reading this, if there is anyone: if you read this and see something wrong with it, with my facts or a flaw in my writing style, or anything of that nature, please leave a review with constructive critisism. And if you liked it, tell me what you liked and I'll add some more stuff like that into it. Thank you for taking your time reading this, and remember, reviews are love :)
