Why You Should Not Trust Emmet as a Babysitter
Chapter III
Written by: AllApologies451994

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, any of its characters, or the quote I mention by Mikey Way.

It was getting late. Emmet was wondering where the rest of his family was. He had gone through every magic materialized GameInformer he could find and was growing bored. Renesmee, who had awaken from her nap, was entertaining herself by throwing random stuff at Emmet's head. These things consist of baby bottles, spoons, forks, and... ruined diapers? ...That couldn't be good.

Emmet took a ruined diaper that had landed on his head off, while screaming "O MY CRAP! A RUINED DIAPER HAS LANDED ON MY HEAD!!!!!!!!! RAWR!!!!!!!!!" He went in the shower and scrubbed every square inch of his body until he was sure there was no crap on him. He went into his room, and rummaged through some stuff. In the background, Renesmee heard a loud thump and several curse words. His pain made her laugh.

He came back with a Hula-Hoop. He threw one at her and said "Here you go. Entertain yourself with this, not by throwing crappy diapers at my face." When she looked at him funny, he replied "There's less violence in the world when people use Hula-Hoops." [quote taken from Mikey Way].

She just shrugged it off, afraid to ask him what was wrong with him, and started playing with it. She was getting really good; maybe a little too good. She spun it around so fast it snapped, flew off, and smacked Emmet right across the eye. "...Why does that ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME!?" Apparently, the quote he stole from Mikey happened to be untrue.

So he went into his room and looked through everything, trying to find something that wouldn't hurt him that she could entertain herself with. He found a dog bone, a few MCR discs, a few posters of MJ (don't ask....), and... a few animal rubber chew toys? 'This could work', he thought. Just to test, he threw one at himself. Didn't feel a thing. So, he ran back to the living room, where he found a bored Renesmee playing with an electrical plug-in.

"NO!" Emmet shouted. He pulled her back, just saving her. "Don't play with plug-ins. Bad." Then, reaching up against the wall, he jabbed his finger into the plug-in and electrocuted himself. It looked like he was about having a seizure. Renesmee laughed till she cried.

Emmet pulled himself up, finally. He looked at his chew toy he was planning on letting Renesmee play with, and said "Thank God for rubber that doesn't conduct electricity." Then he stumbled and fell on the couch.

But there was something wrong.

He felt slightly uncomfortable, and knew something wasn't right. And at that moment, he felt a slight pinch. He hopped up out of his seat, and saw a turtle just sitting there. Not doing much of anything; it was just sorta... there.

Emmet, thinking back onto his childhood, remembered a bad experience he had with a turtle.

FLASHBACK:

It was a nice afternoon. The skies were all nice and clear, and the sunshine was pouring in through his old windows. He was getting ready, because his dad promised to take him to the zoo. His dad finally got ready, and they left.

END FLASHBACK:

They had a ton of fun at the zoo: except when they reached the part where they could pet the animals. He grabbed a turtle, in what was considered an odd way to it, and it snapped and bit his finger off. If you look closely today, you can see half of his middle finger is missing.

He shuddered. He asked her where she got a turtle, but she didn't reply. She was too busy laughing. "What's so funny!?" He turned around and saw the turtle stuck to his back. He ran out, paler than usual, yelling "MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!!! SAVE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

A/N: Well, there you have it. Chapter III! Thank you to everyone who commented/subscribed. I really hope you enjoy this chapter. And to all you MCR fans out there, I even threw in another reference for you. If you did not like this chapter or you found some false information, please comment and tell me how to make it better. My goal is to make a fanfiction that pleases everyone. That seems near impossible, but if you tell me some stuff to put in here you think may make it funny, I'll incorporate it in here and make this story even better. So remember; comments are love :)