Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or its characters. They belong to Stephanie Meyer.
Chapter 3
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Bella's POV
I just got out of work after my shift at the hospital .I work a nurse at the local community hospital. I can resist blood with no great effort. Strange I know, but I never felt the urge to attack a human… I can still smell blood like I used to in my human time. The same rusty salty smell. I left early in order to pick up the kids from school so they could finish packing for their trip. This was the first time I let my children go on a trip without me. I haven't been fair to them. They were always alone when I worked or hunted. I am a full vampire and my need for hunt was more often than theirs. Thanks to my Anthony who bit me while I give birth to them. It was not a normal pregnancy. I carried my children for six months before. They ripped their way out of me and I almost died. I never once regret the decision to keep my angels.
I was so lost in own thoughts that I hadn't realized I got to the school. I parked my car, got out and walked to the office in a slow human pace.
"Hello, I'm Isabella Swan I'm here to pick up my brother and sisters." I told the secretary behind the desk.
"Sure I will have them come to the office right away." She said smiling at me.
I sat down in one of the chairs in the office and five minutes later my beautiful angels walked in the door smiling at me. We walked to my car. Anthony got in the passenger seat while my girls sat in the back talking about everything they were going to do down at La Push. They were extremely excited about the trip. It's been months since they last saw Jake and Seth. I worry that Anthony chose to be alone to protect me. I feel like he has abandoned his desires, hopes and most of his chance in love just because of what his father did to me.
I realized I was once again lost in my own world when I heard my handsome son talking to me.
"Mom are you sure you don't want to come with us?" I had the worry in his voice.
"No. I want you guys to have fun and enjoy yourselves. Besides I have to work this week." I answered in my most motherly voice.
"Mom you never take time for yourself. You are always putting everyone else first." he continued. I look over at him and rolled my eyes.
"You know that I have to take care the three of you. I have to work and make sure you are taken care off." I said.
"I know that Mom and we can never tell you how grateful we are to have an amazing mother like you. Sometimes I just want you to take for yourself," he said.
I turn my gaze from him and stared out at the road ahead of us.
I parked the car in my assigned parking space. We live in a three bedroom townhouse. It's acute house. Perfect for me and the kids. I have a room to myself as well as Anthony. Renesmee and Carlie share a room. It's a good thing since they get along most of the time. I went to the kitchen to prepare their lunch before they leave for the airport. I prepared their favorite meal. Chicken wings with homemade cheese fries. I peeled and cut the potatoes using my vampire speed as the oil was getting hot. When the fries were done I put them in a pan, spread cheddar cheese on top of them and stuck them in the oven to melt the cheese. Fifteen minutes later I called to kids to come and eat.
"Lunch is ready. Come and get it." Three seconds later they came flying to the kitchen and sat at the island to eat. I set there food in front of them.
"Thank you mom" they said together. It's amazing how in sync they are. They do that so much; reply at the same time the same thing. And when it happened, it made me laugh. They finished their lunch and rushed upstairs to finish their packing not before they stopped and gave me a kiss on my cheek. I can tell Carlie was getting impatient. She was the first one by the door with her things ready to go.
"Come on slow pokes we only have 2 hours left," she said, getting annoyed with Anthony and Renesmee.
"Mom, Renesmee is still on the phone and hasn't finished packing yet" she yelled at me.
"Carlie, please, could you be patient? You still have two hours before your flight leaves." Mom said in her musical voice.
"But mom I don't want to be late. It's Spring break and it's going to be crowded," she said her voice full of annoyance.
"Come on guys we have to leave the house in the next two minutes. Your going to miss you flight." I yelled to Renesmee and Anthony.
Anthony was the first down the stairs he started to take the bags to my car. Renesmee came down the stairs placing her bags next to the door for Anthony to take it to the car for her. Always the perfect gentleman. We all climbed in the car and I started the car.
"Guys do you have everything you need?" they looked at me and sighed.
"Yes Mom. We used the checklist you gave us,' Renesmee was the one to answer me.
"Ok, now remember to call me as soon as you get there." I told them.
"Yes Mom." Anthony answered. He has always been a caretaker. He reminds me of myself when I was human, always taking care of everyone else and never himself.
"Anthony I'm counting on you to watch over you baby sisters," I directed my eyes on him. He was born first and took his role as the older brother very serious.
"This is the first time I let you guys go anywhere with out me and I don't want it to be the last so, I am trusting you to take care of each other" I tired to hide my sadness from him but see saw right through me. The girls were so excited that they didn't pay to much attention to me, so I spoke directly to Anthony.
"Do you all have your phones?" I asked them.
"Yes" they answered in unison.
We got to the airport and I parked the car in the garage so I can wait with my kids until their flight. Anthony was in the back taking out the luggage and set them down on one of those roller carts. Always the perfect gentleman; just like his father.
Stop that! Don't you dare think of him I scowl at myself.
"Alright, do you have your planes tickets and cash in case you want to buy snacks?" I asked.
"Yes mom we have everything. You need to relax." Anthony said.
Soon after I got home, I finished cleaning all the rooms and started doing the laundry in no time. The house was so empty without them. When I was done with the house hold, I did nothing else than wait for their call. I went to my room and took out the memory box as Renesmee called. It contained every single card they wrote me on Mother's day, every drawing they did for me. Their first exercise book in primary school. These made me think of him.
"Why Edward? Why did you do this to us? We could have been a family…I miss you so much." I cried to myself.
After a while I managed to calm down. The phone started ringing. In no time I picked it up.
"Hello, Anthony how was your flight:' I asked.
"Fine mother, we are in the car with Jake and Seth. They are taking us to Billy's before we head out to Pop's for dinner" he said.
After talking to them for a while I told Anthony I had to go to work. Truth was that I missed them like crazy and I didn't want them to hear it in my voice.
I laid down on the couch, got comfortable and started reading Wuthering Heights. I was at the part where cliff overhears Kathy confessing her love for him but at the same time he isn't good enough for her. My mind drifted to that faithful day. The day I lost him.
Edward took my hand when I got out of my truck.
"Walk with me" he said to me politely as he always did.
He took my hand in his and realized that the electricity that took over my body was not present for the first time. His touch always sent electricity coursing through my body. From the very first time in biology class every time we touched, the feeling was intensifying. At that moment I knew that there was something wrong. I didn't want to be there. As he led me down the trail he suddenly stopped and turned around to face me.
"Bella we are leaving," he said looking straight in my eyes.
I looked at him confused not being able to understand.
"Ok I'll come with you. Just give me a day to pack my things and say goodbye to everyone." I said with excitement. Since the first time I laid my eyes on him I dreamt silently of being with him. To stand by his side as his equal.
"Hold on Bella. Who said anything about you coming with me?" I looked at him dumbfounded. What was he saying I asked myself? I found my voice after a few seconds.
"What are you talking about? I'm coming with you right? You don't honestly expect me to stay here with out you, do you?" I asked getting more worried as I looked in his eyes.
" Bella…" he began again but I cut him off.
"What about all the promises? What about all the times you said you loved me? Are you throwing all that away? You told me in Phoenix you would stay and now you're going back on your word. Tell me why you are doing this Edward?" I said.
As I looked into his eyes it was like staring into an abyss. They were dark and far away. There was no trace of the person I loved.
"I should have stop this long before it ever started. I am tried of being a character in these games. I want to have my freedom to embrace my nature. I can't do that while I'm with you. You don't mean anything to me; you never did. I don't love you!" he spoke with darkness.
"You're lying, why would you lie to me? Why are you hurting me like this?" I accused tears streaming down my eyes.
"Look in my eyes Bella and tell me if I'm lying."
I did ask as he asked and for the first time ever I feared him. His eyes were cruel showing no emotions. No where did I see the man I loved. All I saw was a heartless monster. He turned away from me when something flash across his face trying to hide his true feelings. Edward faced me again eyes as black as midnight.
"Don't worry you're human you will forget all about me in time. It will be as if I never existed." his words rang with finality.
And with that he turn and left .He just walked away and didn't look back.
I stood alone in the forest as the darkness starting to surround me. I was frozen for what felt like eternity. I couldn't see or hear anything. For the first time in my life I was blind and def. After I regained my senses, I let out an ear piercing cry that shook the heaven and earth. I felt the heaven open up with my cry and tried to wash away my pain with tears from above. The rain was cold, soothing and inviting. Then I collapsed from the pain and agony that claimed my mind, body and soul. The pain had passed. The sensation of emptiness and nothingness took it's placed and it was welcomed.
As the memory came crashing down I felt as if I was being ripped to shreds again and again. The sobs came with full force. I couldn't do this. I couldn't be alone. When the kids were here my mind is always busy with things I could do for them. At night I would sit in their rooms and watch them sleep and hear them as they talked. This was one the things they inherited from me. They weren't here and the loneliness was overpowering. How was I to wonder out of my darkness when my lights were somewhere else?
I called the only person who has been there for me. Who has comforted me in the most difficult moment in my life. He pulled me out of the black hole that surrounded my life. I took out my phone and dialed his number.
"Hello, Bella," he said with a musical voice on the other end.
A/N: Again I want to thank those who have reviewed my story. I promise that my mystery guy will be revealed in due time. I want to thank my co-pilot MrsEdwardCullenP who keeps me motivated. Check of her story it's called "Hiding in plain sight"…. Now press the magic green button and I just may update faster… LOL
