A/N: Ugh, I hate it when mother gets in moods like this. Acting as if she's the only one who works hard and has stuff to do. Grrr!
Anyway, I'm going to cut to the chase otherwise I'll just keep whinging. Thank you to: yaba, cureless, Frogster, Divinia Serit, Ebony10, Habeous Corpus, WildDaisies10, Fallen Angels of Love, celticgina and Jadestar1981 for reviewing part four.
Now I'm going to get a start on a Secret Santa thing. Yay I have so much to write right now...
x tromana
Part Five - Strength
It's Lisbon's fingers that find their way to the door handle first. Looking at him, she immediately notes the withdrawn expression. She's losing him and fast. Briefly, she finds herself wondering if this is how medical professionals feel when a patient flat lines and they have just a matter of minutes to try and resuscitate them.
"D'you want to go downstairs?"
Her voice cracks as she asks the question but she's not surprised when Jane shakes his head. Nor is she surprised when a tear finally breaks through his barrier and falls onto his cheek, leaving a salty, wet streak behind it.
Taking a deep breath, she allows her fingers to tighten and with a flick of the wrist, the door opens by just a crack. She steps around Jane, who appears to be frozen to the spot and somehow manages to edge herself into the room before him.
Normally, the first thing that can be seen in any Red John crime scene is the smile on the wall. Unusually in this case, there are two. A second one has been painted in blood to match the first, some sick way of providing the original with companionship. In this case, however, Lisbon's eyes were drawn to the windowsill.
A candle is sitting there. It has obviously only just burned out - some of the wax that had pooled on the plate was still molten. She shudders, it reminding her briefly of a hymn she'd loved as a kid. There was a difference between lighting a candle to 'let the night know that you care' and doing so to mock those who are religious though.
If she had doubted it before, she is certain now. Red John knows about them. Together, as a couple. Rather than as individuals, as work colleagues. As friends even. They have to tread carefully now. She's always known that she, along with the rest of the team, are all potential targets for the serial killer. The fact that he's managed to destroy a whole team under their noses has illustrated as much. And that is part of the reason that Red John bothered to kill Bosco at all - to prove a point to them as well as draw Jane directly back into the cat and mouse game.
Now, it is one of those rare occasions when she wishes that she has someone to cling onto, to comfort her, to tell her that everything would be okay. Lisbon is growing sick of being the 'strong one' all the while. It does nothing for her already very frayed nerves. But there isn't exactly anything she could do about it though.
She could feel the bile rise in her throat, the hydrochloric acid burning at the cells in her esophagus. That's before she even dares let her eyes trace to the ground to take in the view of Jane's biological daughter. Before she even has a chance to do that, Jane pushes her aside and crouches beside the girl.
"Don't touch her!"
Lisbon automatically switches into 'agent' mode and knows exactly what to do. Before Jane even knows what has hit him, she has him pinned against the wall, her eyes flaring angrily. He struggles, trying to get past her, to try to touch his baby. The woman holding him back is strong though and he's always known that. And to be fair, he has been fitter and is somewhat out of shape now. In the past, he had to be, to look respectable for his adoring public.
"Teresa…"
His voice is low and menacing but she doesn't pay any attention to it. Instead, Lisbon simply puts all her efforts into hauling him back out of the bedroom and carefully guiding him downstairs. She swallows down her emotions yet again as she darts around the girl, trying not to her let her eyes travel to her chest and leg, both of which have been hacked viciously at. Once the body is out of sight, seemingly it is also out of Jane's mind, but Lisbon doubts it is as simple as that. Perhaps it is more of a case of everything slowly overwhelming his senses?
Her fingers dart across her cell phone with practiced ease, typing in a number she is familiar with. As it rings back at her, her eyes remain focused on Jane's face, trying desperately to read the emotions that he is going through but not getting anywhere. If only they could switch positions, just for five minutes. Jane finds it far to easy to read her and sometimes she wishes that he'd just stop and give her a break. Now, she finds herself coveting those skills just so she can help him. At least he isn't running back upstairs though and seems to have got the message about not compromising evidence.
"Cho?"
She's relieved when she hears his calm voice. Immediately, she tells him to organize the rest of the team and get them over to the house as soon as possible. To bring the coroner too, to deal with the body. She may be Jane's daughter, but she's still a murder victim. Another to add to the growing list of victims of Red John. Two children have been killed by him now and that sickens her to her stomach. Still, as soon as Cho and the team have arrived, she knows she'll feel more secure in what she's meant to be doing now.
With a sigh, she sits beside him and he barely notices.
"Are you okay?" she pauses when he doesn't answer. "Patrick… Jane… Patrick!"
She switches between first name and surname like a tennis player switches between back and forehand strokes. All she is doing is trying desperately to break him out of his reverie though and nothing she does seems to be effective. Right now, Lisbon cannot decide if she is his boss, the senior agent trying to solve the crime or Teresa. Teresa, his friend, his lover, the one that is anchoring him to the land of the living. The glue that is holding his fragile pieces together. This is the reason why dating is forbidden within units in the CBI. These two roles simply do not correlate; she is aching to be one or the other, just to clarify her mind, but has to be both.
For both their sakes.
TBC…
