Chapter 2- Rain
***
"I don't wish to be everything to everyone, but I would like to be something to someone."
Edgar Allan Poe
***
"He's fine, Nessie. Jake's fine." My father assured, taking an unnecessary long breath.
Rather selfishly as I knew it to be, I let out a haggard breath of silent respite. Jake was okay. For now, he was fine. With my mind only temporarily at ease, equally, I was now confused and again, fearful as I met my fathers pained eyes. This was someone we knew. His expression shifted slightly in discomfort and I took it as confirmation that it was indeed someone we knew and cared about. As anxious as I was of what the answer might be, I needed to know…
Who? Dad, please. Who?
"Quil." He answered reluctantly.
A flicker of lightning briefly lit up the darkened skies behind him at that one word. He watched on wordlessly as my unresposive mind digested it all. Quil? As disgusting as it felt to feel the sheer relief in knowing that Jake was okay, Quil was my friend too. A friend who happened to be a powerful, experienced shape-shifter. I knew this Succubus was indeed something they hadn't encountered, but…how? How was this possible?
My tear-glazed eyes, focused on the hardwood floor, not really seeing. Taking my chunky heels off, I pulled my bare knees up to my chest and locked my arms around them tightly. How?
Then my thoughts were on Claire Young, my childhood best friend. A girl both Quil and I would do anything for. She must be so worried right now, restless with concern, as I would be if it were Jake. That wasn't to say I wasn't worried about Quil.
"Is he going to be ok?" I eventually croaked.
"He'll be fine." Dad answered softly, his clearly attentive eyes not leaving me for a second as he slowly knelt down to sit in front of me now. I let out another sigh of forthright relief. "Leah was there." He continued, as if that was sufficient explanation.
Leah? Oh. Aunt Lee was living on campus at Washington U- finally doing what she always wanted to do- finishing her studies and living a productive life without Sam Uley. I can only imagine she was back because Jake needed her. And now of course, as opposed to her male contemporaries, she was the only female Shifter- invulnerable to the apparently unrelenting capabilities this Succubus demonstrated. If this situation wasn't so terrible, I'd be smug alongside aunt Lee.
I nodded thoughtfully for a moment. Wait. Then, why was my family out there? My family being Emmett and Jasper. "The girls thought it was a good idea to help the wolves…" Dad explained sounding unimpressed by the idea –no doubt Mom came up with it, "But your uncles and I didn't feel comfortable sitting at home, waiting for them…" he shrugged.
In that moment of seriousness, I couldn't help laughing. Seriously? "I thought that would make perfect sense considering they'd be resistant to whatever this psycho mother-fucker does…"
My father stifled an eye roll and made a fluid motion, sitting feather-light beside me again on the sofa. "Language, please." He reproached half-heartedly, before burying his face in his hands.
I continued to examine his somewhat unusually tired form. "There's something you're not telling me." I finally concluded.
He let a long moment pass, considering this. "I can assure you there isn't." he muttered, his usually regal voice was muffled as he spoke through his hands.
"Daddy, what's wrong?" I continued, unconvinced. Then a fresh wave of crushing panic assaulted me. "Oh God, is it Quil? He's not alright is he?"
"No." He responded, reluctantly stripping his face from his hands. "He's perfectly fine, Renesmee." He paused briefly considering his words, "Well, that's not entirely accurate. He'll be fine. He's on the mend."
My father was never one to lie so overtly about another's well being, so I was naturally appeased by his words of assurance. So if it wasn't Quil, I wasn't sure what else it could be to get my father so…distracted?
I regarded him again, a little sceptically. And much to my increasing impatience, he chose to be unresponsive to my thoughts –something we both felt necessary at times, particularly during my years of adolescent growth. Not quite convinced, I let this go. When Edward didn't want to share, there was practically no way to get it out of him. For now he must've returned to welcome me home from work.
All these things flitted through my mind as I sat in my comfortable foetal position on the sofa, but my stomach had other ideas when it grumbled rather voraciously, disturbing my distracted reveries. There was no way Edward would let me go find Jake. And there was no way Jake could get away from finding this killer. Feeling like a brat, I felt like sobbing.
My stomach growled painfully again. In response, dad's head cocked to the second sound and he frowned. "When was the last time you ate?" he asked, immediately getting up.
I paused to think, and remember my last indulgence in dirt-smelling… food. Feeling like a fool, I blinked spastically at his expectant yet unimpressed face, my mind a blank.
I honestly can't remember. I confessed through my thoughts. I had the distinct impression it was a Granola bar sometime last night. He groaned through his teeth, a seemingly grey-blue blur as he darted towards the kitchen.
"Sorry. I've just been so busy getting prepared and doing the research for Taylor's surgery...and then all this… I just haven't really had the time to-"
"Eat? You're seriously trying to tell me you haven't had the time to supply your body with necessary nourishment in order to sustain itself?" he interrupted heatedly. He had a point. I could hear him flitting around in the kitchen –the fridge opening periodically, pots and pans clattering, packages cackling and being ripped open.
"Well, when you put it like that..." I said, burying my face against my knees. My exhaustion aside, I felt like a child again, surprised to hear my voice so invariably small.
I was only vaguely aware of him darting around in the kitchen, yet my thoughts were back on Jake again. He was still out there. And I shouldn't be here. I should be out there looking for her as my family was.
"No. Don't even think about it." Dad called out from the kitchen in a rejoinder to my wayward thoughts -almost before they were thought into existence. "You're not going anywhere."
And then it hit me like a tsunami. Now I knew why he was here. He was baby-sitting me.
"And exactly why not?" I asked edgily. If this were true, it was completely unnecessary. This thing was only after men for crying out aloud!
"Because whoever this thing is, it thinks the rules don't apply to her." He replied stiffly, bringing in a plate heaped with home made meatloaf, creamy mashed potatoes, vegetables and a basket of …bread. Nice. He placed the plate in front of me to take. "That worries me. She's not like us. So don't even think about it." I took the proffered plate begrudgingly, only too aware of my betraying body's forthright hunger in response to the delicious smell of meat and buttered potato -intoxicating my senses completely. My mouth positively watered as I dug in.
I watched my father's movements guardedly as I continued on my rampage of the plate. And through the said mouthfuls of meatloaf, I observed as he leant against the window wall dialling a familiar number. He turned to narrow his eyes at me, before turning his back on me completely. I don't think he appreciated my spying, I conceded, taking in another devouring mouthful.
The conversation exchanged between he and my mother was one of tension. They still hadn't found her. In the past three weeks, four of her victims were found in their cars… two packs of powerful wolves and a whole coven of experienced Vampires couldn't find this killer. Concentrating on my chewing, if things were this serious, why was granddad joining me in Seattle, working at the hospital?
"He didn't want you alone there."
I looked up to find Edward closing his phone and looking rather disgustedly at my plate full of …now unappealing mixed meat, potato, and veggies. I shrugged. "I like mixing it all up. More flavour that way." I explained.
"Right." He conceded slowly, his voice wrought with silent amusement. "I just want that all finished, please."
I nodded, taking in another fork full, "Sure, sure," I muttered -something Jacob usually did to annoy me. "Are they coming back anytime soon?"
He rolled his eyes with a look of revulsion. "In a while, yes. Your aunts and uncles feel it's unwise to leave us on our own at home."
You mean leave you here on your own with only me to protect you, I thought, unable to stifle a snigger. Without so much as a word, he turned to face the downpour outside, combing the surrounding forest.
Or is it the other way round? They think you can't keep me safe? Haha! That must be like a kick in the las cerezas as Nahuel's baby sister Maya would say. Continuing in my munching, I followed his sturdy gaze. It was still pouring it down. The sound of the falling rain was usually one that soothed me often as a child, but today –knowing Jake and my family were out there looking for this mysterious killer- I just needed to know they were all ok. And here I was stuffing my face…
Dad's head cocked slightly towards me, but I tried to ignore it. "So let me get this straight…" I began, "Some of the wolves have already encountered her and found it difficult to kill her?" I inquired, swallowing hard. He grimaced at the utterly incompetent display of table manners.
I continued to look at his back, as I downed some Redbull, attempting to settle the painful knot in my throat. He said nothing as he continued to lean against the window wall looking even more distracted and engrossed in his musings.
This was something I needed to know. If it was hard for them to kill her, surely it made sense for the women to be out there? After what felt like a long moment had passed: "Dad?" I prodded impatiently.
"Hmm?"
"Answer please."
"Sorry, but I tend to avoid answering questions asked by questioners hurling bits of food my way." He flashed a brief smirk, turning to face me in his leaning.
Childishly I scowled in responce and shoved another heaped forkful into my mouth. Truly, my father's cooking was one of the rare things that got me to eat as indulgently as I did. Largely dependent on what he cooked, the majority of human foods tasted suspisciously like sour dirt to me. It was annoying, repulsive and sometimes even tested my gag reflexes, but usually I got over it, ignoring it completely out of desperate hunger. Beggers can't be choosers. Actually, as we all now resided in seperate houses in Seattle, it was now becoming a customary tradition for me to go round my parents' for Sunday dinner. Edward usually cooked for me and whilst I caught up with mom, took the opportunity to snoop into my mind for any recent developments in my seperate life away from them both.
Nothing much had changed in the past decade since my existence, in the sense that for the majority of the Cullens, protecting me from danger was of the utmost importance to them. Whether that was of direct physical threats or merely unpleasant thruths were something they struggled to communicate with me fully. I knew it was their way of sheltering me. It took me a few years to understand exactly why they did this and I even reluctantly came to accept it. When it came to Jake and the pack however, I just didn't have the heart, the patience to play along.
Sighing in quiet resignation alongside listening to my internal mullings, dad turned to regard me again, "Something like that, yes."
I was unsure at first if this was over my thoughts or of the question I had spoken out loud earlier. I suspected it was actually both.
In fact, elaborating further still, my father told me the Succubus had the ability to seduce anyone –something I already knew but to my utter horror, this included the wolves.
Admittedly at the back of my mind, this was something I had already silently concluded upon, but somehow with my father's words came the finality of it all. She fed on her prey's vulnerability and heartache. "That could only work on men." I mused, washing my plate. "What if she was surrounded by women?"
He forced a smile that looked more like a grimace. "I really wouldn't know, Nessie. One would assume her capabilities would be limited. She wouldn't be so prone to get her own way."
Interesting.
But then there was her apparent fascination with the wolves. This worried me. Her kiss would be fatal to them. "They know what they're doing" he assured me when I showed him my anxieties through projection -an unnecessary ability where my father was concerned, but old habits die-hard.
"Jake's strong." He attempted to soothe. With his words however, I instinctually stiffened at the mere thought of her being anywhere near Jacob -quite the adverse reaction to what my father must've anticipated. "He's not vulnerable in anyway, Nessie…"
The latter of the evening consisted of Edward unreasonably refusing to let me step foot out of the house. Both of us anxiously anticipated our family's arrival. Jacob was another issue all together, however. I say this, because I know my mother and aunts have a less likely chance of getting seduced by the seemingly heterosexual predator. My woes were confirmed when everyone but Jake had come home little after an hour after I had finished eating.
All of my family, including Nahuel were drenched as a result of the downfall outside, but safe. They were okay.
Even granddad came home early from work. With his arrival, I was again aware of the promise I afforded Taylor. I would need to find a way to get to him before he woke up from surgery. But first, I needed to make sure Jacob was okay.
My mom was the last to enter into the house. Edward crossed the room almost immediately, bounding sinuously over to her in three long strides. In fact, in a bid to avoid looking like asphalt after being successfully steamrolled, I had to quickly dive out of the way.
My poor, poor dad. So…pathetic.
He was waiting and anticipating for her safe arrival, which was most probably why he was so infuriatingly distracted to keep up a conversation with me. I observed as he caressed her blissfully smiling face before bowing his largish head down and kissing her softly. Aww. Eww.
I looked away, letting them have their moment and silently asked myself why I was watching my parents make out in the first place.
Jacob.
That's right. Hoping against reason, I felt I needed to hope that she had good news or could at least tell me where he was. He promised me he'd meet me after work and in my ten years of knowing Jacob Black, he never broke a promise.
"You worried about your pet?" A voice asked quietly from behind.
I tore my gaze away from the interesting colours the living room lights produced, refracting off of Emmett's skin, to turn and face Nahuel. He was absolutely drenched in his fitted black shirt and A&F jeans, smiling impishly.
"Of course she is." Rosalie teased, walking around us both and handing him a towel. "Personally, I'm just dreading the fact that he's going to stink the place up with the smell of wet dog..."
"Oh. I know what you mean, Rose. Maya has a soft spot for pups too. She actually found a stray a few years ago, and wouldn't let me get rid of it."
"By getting rid, do you mean eating it?" I interrupted unable to choke back my morbid curiosity. Actually I was kind of disgusted at the thought of a domestic pet being food, but the revulsion aside I was genuinely curious. "It's just… I hear they eat cats in southern China, Guangzhou - the capital of the south-eastern province of Guangdong to be more precise."
The room fell silent as all curious, questioning, some worried, eyes were focused on me. I ,however, continued to gawk at my mother ever patiently. Totally unrealising and after several awkward passing moments, "Erm… no." Nahuel finally replied, a broken laugh buried beneath the surface.
"Good to know." I nodded, "Keeping and cherishing cats and dogs, are considered acts of folly for most humans."
"Nessie, are you okay, darling?"
I turned to look at Rose, concern lingering on her features. I loved her, truly I did, but I think they were all conspiring against me right now. "Not really." I replied quietly.
The waiting was eating away at me, consuming every fibre of my being. Why couldn't anyone understand that?
"Oh, Nessie, stop worrying about Jacob. He'll be back soon."
Before I could reply to Rose's contrived assurance however, "You know, I hear there's a sure fire way to find runaways…" Nahuel interrupted seriously.
Stifling a groan, I waited for the punch line. "I think you should hide behind a tree and make a noise like a bone, maybe?"
I sighed in lethargy. This was going to be a long day it seemed and I obviously wasn't going to get any answers. Actually, it was clear now, that they were all stalling.
I felt unequivocally drained. The fifty-two hour shift at the hospital was visibly catching up with my half human physiology -incapable of continuing without rest. Yet equally, I was irrevocably irritated and on edge. This apparent impatience, I knew, stemmed from my absolutely all-consuming need to be with Jacob right now. I just needed to see him.
The rest of the family dispersed little after that, on to do various things in preparation for another thorough combing of the surrounding area.
"I wonder if he has any fleas…" Nahuel mused quietly after several silent minutes of thought.
I loved my friend. Truly I did. And I knew this was him trying to take my mind off of all things Jacob, but how on earth could he think that joking and teasing me about Jacob, when I was plainly worried about him, would somehow placate me?
Rather reluctantly however, I looked up at Nahuel, unable to not look questioningly, "Well, the guy does run around in the forest all day, Nessie. It's not hard to imagine he picks up a few bugs on that thick pelt of carpet he calls fur…" he shrugged, "That's just…hmmm."
Only momentary seconds had passed since my aunts and mother entered through the massive front doors. I observed as my parents communicated in their silent way. Occasionally mom would flash me a look of sympathy mingled in with fear. That didn't look promising.
All the while though, I was distantly conscious of Nahuel sitting beside me, staring at me in refined amusement. "I wonder if he chases his own tail when he gets bored."
I chose to not look directly at him though and clenched my jaws shut. Was this really the time to tease me about Jacob? "Nahuel, why don't you do me a favour and go suck on a lemon?"
"Nessie!" Rose reproached lightly from somewhere upstairs. Rather amusingly, I could distantly hear Emmett complaining and telling her to give him some attention now.
Through my peripheral however, Nahuel looked bemused. "Lemon?"
There was no way I could prevent my response: "Yeah. It's bitter." I smirked.
He seemed too deep in thought to say much else, so I went back to waiting patiently for my mother, "Huh. Lemons…I wonder if he foams at the mouth too…"
Something in me snapped and before I could make my internal growl audible, Rose decided to join in on the burlesquing –a light hearted attempt to appease my thoughts, I was sure, but it wasn't funny without him here.
"Oh well, Nahuel, I can tell you a few disgusting stories about the d-" I shot her a glare. She sighed in quiet compliance, "Jacob. He'll be with you soon enough Nessie. So, I wish you'd stop worrying." My aunt smiled lovingly before turning back to Nahuel. "Nahuel, at the mere mention of food his mouth starts salivating and…-"
The conversation where they began slating Jacob bored me immensely and so I ignored them both and resumed watching my parents continue in sharing their little passionate embrace with a few lingering kisses mingled in amongst the hugging and murmurings of sweet nothings. Actually, looking more closely, Edward had his arms firmly wrapped around mom's small waist, pulling her towards him fiercely. My mother had both hands resting on his chest, her tiny hands gripping his blue shirt with a violent hunger –a hunger I fortunately hadn't seen in a while- as they both mauled each other's faces off. That's when I noticed one of her legs was located rather embarrassingly at an odd angle, snaking around dad's…
…as if… as if she was trying to gain some friction.
Oh God.
Automatically, I tore my eyes away from the offensive sight. A sight I had no doubt burned into my retinas for all eternity now. Knowing this was one of many in a compilation I usually kept well away at the back of my mind, usually spurring my many disturbed nights affording sleep, I cleared my throat in a reluctant attempt to break them free.
Are you really trying to damage me further?
Edward noticed my gagging, mingled in with unobvious revulsion and unwillingly let go, his breathing haggard.
I inwardly cringed. It was haggard.
Bella frowned at the loss of contact, her expression amusingly dazed. Quickly, she understood and stared straight at me wordlessly.
Again, I secretly grimaced. This was exactly why I felt like a gooseberry when I lived with them. My parents were still 'newly weds' in the canon world of vampires, after all. This of course meant they struggled to keep their hands off of each other at night -and the majority of the day for that matter.
Particularly when they think they're alone, but really their eight-year-old daughter's home from her first year at college, practising her abilities of camouflage after a sparring session with Jasper.
I reflexively cringed at the very accurate memory my preternatural mind decided to protract.
…of me inadvertently walking in on them going at it…on the dining room table…the very same table I chose to dine on…
I, of course, had just finished mastering the ability to mimic the abilities of those around me by touch. At the Cullen house in Seattle, where Alice, Jasper, my grandparents and Rose and Emmett resided, I had had a sparring practise session with Jasper and wanted to immediately show my parents what I had accomplished. In the weeks leading up to such a feat, I was growing impatient with my lack of controlling what I could do, so this was a big deal for me.
I knew I was a buzz kill for those two and frankly, what kid wants to see their parents making-out let alone listening to every minute moan, groan and gasps of them making what felt like unending love all night?
Dad cleared his throat, flinching and clearly uncomfortable with this particular train of thought. I ignored this however, and concentrated on keeping my mind occupied and more so on talking to mom, alone.
Indeed, as much as I love my parents, Dartmouth was certainly my haven for a good three years. And my separate house in Seattle was just an extension of said refuge.
Bella flashed me a painful smile then, the worry intermingled on her face didn't go unnoticed. This didn't appease me. "Mom?"
The separate conversations in the room stopped and the immediate silence was almost deafening.
She looked over at Jasper for a moment, apparently deep in thought. If I wasn't so on edge, I'd be mildly pissed at this apparently collective approach- this patronisingly protective stance they all shared. They were hiding something.
Or… were protecting me from something…
Either way, I couldn't help feeling deceived. There was definitely something they weren't telling me and as much as I loved my family, it was freaking frustrating. My thoughts lingered on the latter concerns, however. "What is it?"
As if to confirm my suspicious, her taught, troubled eyes darted to meet my father's, before meeting my own again. She must've retracted her shield, temporarily permitting him to read her thoughts.
Things must…not be so good if they're silently communicating like this. It was usually a luxury for dad, but in the latter years of my childhood however, I regrettably came to find it was also a form of foreplay for the newly weds.
Realisation finally dawned on me and a crippling wave of dread hit me like a ton of bricks. Could it really be that bad?
"Where's Jake?" I managed to whisper, addressing no one in particular as I tried to manage my breathing and the subsequent trembling that had inadvertently come underway. They were unrelenting.
"Nessie," mom began, her response was hesitant as she took an apprehensive step towards me. Her usually all too-serene voice had a quality of patent guilt. "Jacob's going to be fine. He's just with the others…he'll be here soon." She soothed, her eyes, again I noticed, shifted behind me towards my father and again at Jasper.
Her words of confidence and unsure stance were paradoxical and so I frowned in confusion, unsure of what to make of her explanation. Actually, I was about to question her further on this but then strangely, my eyelids began to grow unexpectedly heavy. I felt the sudden urge to just… sleep. With my weighty lids, I turned my seemingly listless attention to Jasper, who was leaning casually against the stairs, a protective arm around Alice, staring straight at me. I shook me head lethargically, my curls reigning havoc as they swayed along to my movements.
"No…" I mumbled, feeling the devastating weight of his effects on me now.
Feeling annoyed at this attack on my physiological bodily functions, I shot him a fierce glare, which I'm sure was as threatening as a rabid fan girl chasing him into a passing cab. So, I wasn't surprised to see my uncle smirk some more . Without physically touching, I let our minds connect on an extrasensory level: Stop it, Ithought. I knew it was a pointless endeavour, but I didn't want to go down so feebly.
For one, I didn't want to be placated this way. Only one thing could do that for me and he wasn't here right now. Nor did I want to feel synthetically calm or confident… If anything, I wanted to be more alert than ever.
The next thing I knew however, I was vaguely aware feeling safe and secure against a cold, hard chest -of being cradled in my father's arms as he placed me gently down on the white sofa in the living room.
In my state of almost comatose slumber, my supernatural sense of smell detected my pixie-like aunt's distinctive scent. "She's not going to like this, Jasper." She whispered quietly. I felt her slender fingers brushing against my hair and then my shoes were off.
"I'm just following orders." Her husband replied somewhere in the distance.
I tried frowning, but I honestly wasn't sure whether this was real or not.
The last thing I think I felt before slipping into unconsciousness was my mother's ice-cool touch, her fingers caressing the sides of my face and her reassuring voice telling me to not worry and to sleep.
Sleep.
This overwhelming surge to simply succumb to the welcoming darkness was the last thing lingering in my barely conscious thoughts.
…But I was conscious enough to remain realising that something felt wrong. Something was missing.
Jacob.
My Jacob.
AN- Stand in the Rain -Superchicks. I had this on repeat when I wrote this. God knows why...
Anywho, RnR please peeps! much appreciate it ;)
