Disclaimer : I do not own Saiunkoku Monogatari. It belongs to Sai Yukino.

Rating : T for themes

Genre : Humour/Friendship/Angst(a little)

Warning : Yaoi, leanings

Pairing : Li Koyu/Ran Shuei

Summary : "A dog is a man's best friend" -- interpreted, and re-intepreted.

Notes : Spoilers here. Timeframe - most of the events in this chapter take place before the kidnapping of Shurei by Adviser Sa, and the chapter ends just after Korin's suicide attempt.

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Chapter 3 : DOG

Koyu glanced at Shuei as Shoka poured out the tea.
There's definitely something different about Shuei today. A tension.

Shuei always did enjoy light banter with Shoka over manju and tea.
He gets really thirsty, though, since every cup of Lord Shoka's tea goes down his right sleeve!

Koyu smiled as yet another cup went the same way, surreptitiously.

Shuei shifted in his chair.
That's strange. It's not like Shuei to fidget.
Shuei's right hand touched his left sleeve briefly.
He's got something in there.

"Master Koyu, General Ran, I suddenly remembered I need to talk to Reishin. I will take my leave now."

As Shoka walked out of the Archives, Shuei relaxed visibly.
Ah, so he was impatient for Lord Shoka to leave. I wonder why.

Koyu shrugged.
I guess I will know soon enough.
Koyu thought philosophically, as he gathered the tea things and walked to the Archives' kitchenette. As was the routine, he would make a pot of "normal" tea for the parched Shuei if and when Shoka leaves the Archives.

Shuei accepted the cup of tea from Koyu gratefully. Koyu sat down to sip his own tea, waiting patiently.

"Koyu ... "

Ah, here it comes.
Koyu continued to sip his tea.

"You know, Koyu, I've always wanted a dog, ever since I was eight years old."

Shuei heard an explosive sound on his left. He turned to see his friend's face and chest dripping with tea.
Good grief! I know he's clumsy. Even so!
He reached across the table for the tea-towel, and handed it to Koyu.

"My parents, however, objected. Not very supportive, don't you think?"

Koyu had no answer to that question. Or rather, he refused to dignify it with a response.
What parents would support their son's perverted desire to have sex with a dog?

"Why are you telling me this?"
Koyu managed in a strangled voice.

"Because you are my good friend."
Came the ready response, accompanied by a dazzling smile.

Koyu felt guilty.
Afterall, that's what friends are for, right? To be non-critical and supportive.

Koyu braced himself for what's to come next.

"I used to sneak out of the manor to have fun with the stray dogs in the neighbourhood."

Koyu gasped and sank deeper into his chair.
Oh please, I don't want to hear this!

Shuei heard the sharp intake of air. He turned to see Koyu sunken in the chair, hands gripping the handles, looking like he was about to be sick.

"Koyu, are you alright?"

Koyu made a monumental effort.
"I'm fine. Go on."

Shuei didn't think Koyu looked anywhere near fine. However, knowing how proud and stubborn Koyu was, he dared not pursue the matter. Shuei took from his left sleeve a dog tag on a thin strip of leather.
"I made this when I was eight, just before asking my parents for a dog."

He kept it all these years.
Koyu was moved in spite of himself. Or rather, in spite of the REASON behind the dog tag.

Shuei fingered the dog tag, but said nothing. Koyu felt that he should be more pro-active in his role as supportive friend.

"Shuei, you live by yourself now in the capital. So why don't you keep a dog and, and, fulfill your two-decade-old desire?"
Koyu tried, he really did, but he couldn't help turning bright red and choking on the second sentence.

What's wrong with Koyu?
Shuei wondered if he should be concerned. Koyu was often so strange in his reactions to apparently normal situations that Shuei was not sure when to start feeling concerned.

"Well, no. I'm hardly home anyway. So, maybe a part-time dog. Koyu, I was wondering if you could help me with that?"

"RAN SHUEI!"
Koyu sprang up from his chair, knocking it over.
"There is a limit to friendship! I will NOT keep a dog for you to use as a part-time canine concubine!"

The laughter finally subsided. Wiping away his tears, Shuei looked at Koyu in mock dismay.
"I would never have imagined that such lewd thoughts existed in that genius brain of yours."

"It's all your fault, Ran Shuei! Every other thought that comes out of that brain of yours is about sex!
And, and, you and your euphemisms! People don't die, they 'pass on'. What does that even mean?
When you visit Koga House, you don't have sex, you 'make love'. Where is the 'love' in a paid transaction?
How am I to know that you don't 'want' a dog?"

A fleeting look of pain crossed Shuei's face. He turned away before Koyu could see it. He picked up the dog tag that had fallen on the floor. When he turned back, he was again the usual smiling Shuei. He handed the dog tag to Koyu.

"D-O-G? That's the name on the tag? You are not very imaginative, Shuei."

"You don't approve? I thought it would be right up your alley, you who insist on calling a spade a spade."

Koyu's head snapped up. He laughed, eyes dancing.

"So. Shuei, what help did you want from me for your part-time dog?"

"I was wondering if you wanted the job?"

"Huh?"

"Like I always did say, Koyu, you are as adorable as a puppy."
Shuei grinned at Koyu.
"And, of course, a dog is a man's best friend."

The dog tag in Koyu's hand blurred. Koyu let his tears fall unheeded.
This is so Shuei. Infuriating one moment, and saying the sweetest thing the next.

Koyu fumbled with the many folds of his cowl-neck collar, trying to fasten the leather thong behind his neck.

"Come, let me help you."

Shuei moved behind Koyu and took the two ends of the thong from Koyu's hands. Koyu helped by using his hands to hold down the folds of his collar, exposing the full extent of his neck. Shuei stared at the graceful arched neck. His hands, holding the two ends of the thong, rested lightly on it. He ached to caress that neck, to cover it with kisses.

He lingered over the tying, indulging in the intimacy of the moment. But even this stolen moment is lost. Unwelcome thoughts crowded into his mind.

Koyu's words earlier had cut to the core.
WHERE'S THE "LOVE" IN A PAID TRANSACTION?
Indeed, such paid transactions had become increasingly sordid. Shuei's "love-making" had become more mechanical than passionate. Shuei flushed with humiliation. He was practically jerking off inside a human body.

Yet he couldn't stop the humiliation. At the end of each day he would be ablaze with desire from spending the afternoon with Koyu. Koga House had become both a release and a torture. And this was his lot. Now, and for as far as he could see. Koyu would never accept him as a lover. Shuei had known that some time ago.

[Flashback]

The gossip of the day was the marriage of the Heki clan's daughter. The low-born groom "married in" and took on the Heki name. That in itself was not cause for gossip. The man was a compulsive womanizer. Speculation was rife as to whether he would be reformed. Most were of the opinion that he would toe the line, given the might of the Heki clan.

Koyu snorted.
"Even if he does, it won't be for long. The Heki clan can't exactly kick him out. A well bred woman doesn't marry twice, afterall."

"My, my, Koyu, aren't you too cynical? Perhaps true love will change the man."
Shuei glanced at Koyu walking next to him.

"A leopard can't change its spots. Even if he does love her, after the first flush of love fades, he will return to his old ways. The Heki daughter is a fool to have accepted him in the first place. That's why I say all women are stupid."

"You are harsh, Koyu. I'm surprised you let me hang around you at all."
Shuei's attempt at lightness failed. His hurt showed in his voice.

Koyu stopped walking, turned to Shuei and said gently,
"Such things are non-issues in a friendship, Shuei."

As it turned out, Koyu was right about the Heki son-in-law. Koyu was frequently right, Shuei thought.
Perhaps he knows me better than myself. Afterall, I AM in the first flush of love. So what I feel now, desire for him and him alone, may just be that, the first flush of love.

Shuei knew that he could make no promises that would convince Koyu that Ran Shuei, alone of all men, would be different. And so it stood: Ran Shuei, the renowned womanizer, the leopard that can't change its spots, was only acceptable as a friend, never as a lover.

Shuei wondered if Koyu knew how he felt. Probably, since everyone else seemed to know. The emperor had openly encouraged Shuei to "bridge the gap". If Koyu knew, he was pretending not to know, and for that, Shuei was grateful.

The emperor, in the "bridge the gap" talk, had insisted that Koyu reciprocated Shuei's feelings. Did he? Sometimes Shuei believed so. Koyu was uncomfortable about close proximity and physical contact with just about everyone. However, with Shuei, Koyu's reaction was magnified many fold.
But of course, I AM the only one that totally ignores Koyu's wishes about keeping a decent distance.

Shuei enjoyed edging close and watching Koyu blush. And looking at Koyu, beautiful and blushing, just inches from himself, Shuei would struggle with the desperate need to touch him.
Perhaps I'm masochistic.

In any case, whether Koyu was attracted to him or not was immaterial. Koyu was not one to let emotions rule his decisions. He would not become as "stupid" as the women he disparages.

"Shuei?'

Shuei snapped out of his reverie. How long had he been resting his hands on the back of Koyu's neck? How did his nose end up nestled in Koyu's hair?

"Shuei, what are you doing?"

Shuei saw that Koyu's ear was bright red. He drank in the lingering scent of cedar and thyme in Koyu's hair before withdrawing his nose.

"Your hair smells. When did you last wash it?"

Shuei knew that that would dispel the awkwardness. Koyu, fastidious about his personal hygiene, rose to the bait as expected. Koyu stiffened and started blustering.

Shuei tied the thongs together. He then gave a light smack to the side of Koyu's head with the heel of his hand. That usually worked to stop Koyu's ranting. It did. This smack was the only touch Shuei allowed himself. Even when leaning in to tease Koyu, Shuei made sure that no part of his body was in contact with Koyu's.

Moving from behind Koyu, Shuei sat down at the table and poured himself a cup of tea. Watching Koyu walk towards the table, he noted that Koyu was absently fingering the leather thong round his neck, lost in thought.

Shuei smiled.

Well, at least he accepted that.
Shuei couldn't claim Koyu as his lover, but he could at least claim him as a best friend.

Shuei's smile broadened to a grin as he recalled the part-time canine concubine fracas earlier.

Abruptly the grin vanished. What had been hilarious earlier was now painful. A man who would ask a friend to maintain a dog for his own sexual pleasure -- that's Koyu's true opinion of him. As Koyu wasn't looking his way, Shuei allowed himself a bitter smile.


Koyu gave up trying to work. He hadn't been able to concentrate and was making too many mistakes. He couldn't call it a night and go home, however, because Shuei would come by at ten minutes past the Hour to walk home with him.

Koyu was grateful for Shuei's escort. Not just to walk home, either. Shuei had taken it upon himself to escort Koyu everywhere that Koyu needed to go during the work day. It WAS nice not to constantly get lost in the labyrinth that was the palace walkways. The thing that was NOT nice was that Shuei never lets an opportunity pass without making some remark about Koyu's hopeless sense of direction.

Koyu pulled the leather thong from the folds of his collar and held the dog tag in his fist. He let out a soft sigh.
So. As of today, I am D-O-G, Shuei's best friend.

Koyu had no doubt that Shuei cherished him. Shuei's precious treatment of him had set tongues wagging a long time ago. Koyu was aware that, other than the few people close to Shuei and himself, everyone else believed that they were already lovers.

And why weren't they already lovers? Koyu had pondered this over and over again. It was patently obvious to Koyu that Shuei desired him. The look in Shuei's eyes that night, the look that brought about Koyu's sexual awakening, became more apparent in the weeks hence. And yet Shuei didn't act on it.

Koyu was painfully aware that Shuei studiously avoided touching him. Shuei, unlike Koyu, was a very demonstrative person. He was constantly all over Seiran, and even His Highness was not spared Shuei's rough and very physical affections.

Same-sex relationships were not uncommon in the palace workplace. No one batted an eyelid when new couples were formed. In fact, congratulations were often freely given.

The Ran family had five sons. Shuei was number four. He was under no pressure to produce heirs.

Koyu sighed again. No matter how many ways he looked at it, the answer came back the same -- Shuei didn't want to be in a same-sex relationship. The pressure came from within, and not from fear of scandal or family obligations.

Koyu resolutely tucked the dog tag inside his collar, fighting back tears.
Alright then, Ran Shuei, I accept your dog tag. Best friends. Always.


Amidst the panic and hive of activity surrounding Shurei's poisoning and Korin's attempted suicide, Shuei noticed Koyu slipping out of the room. Worried, Shuei followed. Koyu had been the one put in charge to watch Korin, and he had seemed very upset.

Koyu was standing in the middle of the courtyard, back towards Shuei. Even under the moonlight, and from where Shuei stood at the steps of the building, Shuei could still see the tension in Koyu's shoulders and back.

"Koyu."

Koyu didn't turn around.
"How is Lady Shurei?"

"I don't know. Doctor To and Advisor Sho are looking at her now."

Still not turning around, Koyu asked about Advisor Sa. Shuei replied that he had already sent his men after him. Shuei sensed that Koyu needed to talk about Korin's suicide attempt, but as Koyu didn't initiate it, Shuei did so.

"I heard that Korin tried to take her own life."

"She wanted to cover for Advisor Sa, and tried to bear all the responsibility alone."
Koyu's voice rose in agitation.

"A minute later, and Korin might not have made it! That's why I say all women are stupid! Why did Advisor Sa leave her out of the affair right from the start? She never realized how much he actually cares for her. And instead she goes off and does something so stupid!"

Shuei closed the distance and stood right behind Koyu.

"Korin and you are actually very much alike, Koyu."

Koyu, hearing Shuei's voice close behind him, turned his head. Shuei continued.

"You are both taken in by another, raised with love and care, and you both love and respect your benefactor more than anyone else in the world."

Shuei reached for Koyu's clenched fist, then hesitated, his hand poised over Koyu's.
Dammit, Ran Shuei, this is not the time to worry about such things.
Shuei closed his hand over Koyu's fist.

Koyu spun around and tried to pull his hand out of Shuei's. As Koyu raised his hand higher, Shuei's hand followed, not allowing Koyu's hand to escape from his grasp. Shuei used his other to hold down Koyu's hand.

Holding Koyu's hand in both of his own, Shuei looked directly into Koyu's startled eyes.

"But, even if you are alike, you are not the same. If I see you try to run off and do something, I'll be there to stop you."

Koyu's eyes softened, allowing his vulnerability to show.

"Because it's my responsibility to bring you back, when you are lost."

Koyu's unshed tears glistened in the moonlight. Through his tears, Koyu couldn't make out Shuei's features. But that didn't matter. Shuei's touch was comforting. Koyu felt cocooned in the warmth of Shuei's love. It was a new sensation, to feel safe, to have someone else take responsibility for his life, his happiness.

Koyu decided it didn't really matter whether they were best friends or lovers. He was just grateful to have Shuei's love, in whatever form it was given. Koyu closed his eyes and surrendered to the new sensation. He leaned his forehead on Shuei's shoulder and allowed his tears to fall.

[CHAPTER END]


Notes :

In the anime, when Shuei closed his hand over Koyu's fist, Koyu's attempt to pull away his hand is only apparent when you watch it at HALF-SPEED. I missed this little detail when I watched it at normal speed. My thanks to my sister who pointed it out to me. Even Koyu's startled expression is more obvious at half-speed, although I did get that at normal speed.