Something Inside That Was Always Denied

Part II: God Only Knows

Notes: Chapter two is here! Huzzah! This chapter is based on the song God Only Knows by The Beach Boys. If you haven't heard it go on YouTube right now and look it up. I believe the album it is on is called Pet Sounds. Still, you won't regret listening to it.

The sun dazzled through the trees as Derek walked. The woods were a comforting place to him. They removed him from the struggles of life in Angeles Bay... the struggles of being a doctor and responsible for so much. The air was clean, the sky glowing with the setting sun.. it was like medicine for his soul. This place of peace was the last place he thought he'd see his lovely assistant. She was like something out of a Leonardo Da Vinci painting sitting upon a rock in a white sun dress crying, the setting sun framing her like true divinity. He stood there in silence for a while, simply admiring the sight of it.

"Angie..." The simple sound of her name made her head pop up. He stepped forward so that she could see him better. She quickly began cleaning up the streaks of tears and mascara on her face. She felt so self-conscious in this sad condition. Certainly he had seen her in emotional states before but nothing like this. Without another word he got on his knees in front of her rock and gently wiped her tears away with his thumb. He didn't know really what he was doing. All he knew was that the girl he loved was in pain.

"D-Derek, I... I'm so sorry!" With that she clung to him and sobbed, leaving the poor physician deeply confused. "What I did that night it-" He stopped her by placing his thumb on her lips and shaking his head. She didn't need to apologize for what happened that night at her flat. She had done nothing wrong. Slowly he removed his thumb and leaned in to kiss her. It was a far more kind and gentle of a kiss than the one he had given her on the bed, lacking the lust and alcohol driven sloth. She responded with full return, arms wrapping firmly about his neck. Her tears began again and as he felt a single warm drop pass his cheek he pulled back.

"Why are you still crying...?" He put his arms about her waist to give her a sense of security.

"I-I..." She paused for a moment, quivering as she figured out what to say. "If you should ever leave me, though life would still go on, believe me... the world would show nothing to me. So what good would living do me?" Her words confounded him, he only prodded her to continue with a light nudge of his nose against hers.

"I'm so... dependent on you, Derek... I need you. I realized that after you fell ill with GUILT..." She bit her lip. This is what made loving him so hard. She relied on him so much. She had once been so proud and independent. She never needed anyone to help her or be with her but now... she needed him and it was hard to accept that fact. He pressed her closer, finally understanding it all completely. He knew she had acted a bit differently after his operation though he could never fully put his finger on it. She had finally realized something he understood after their first procedure together: they needed each other.

"Angie, it's... it's almost funny you say that because I have always felt that I relied on you entirely too much." He started to laugh as the thought amused him so much. They were completely dependent on each other. "For fuck's sake, Ang! I mean, God only knows what I'd be without you!" He let her go, falling back on to the grass as he was so caught up with amusement and happiness. Angie soon followed as his laughter struck a cord in her heart. Was it so bad to rely on your significant other? She didn't need to be strong and independent all of the time. Her giggles soon came bubbling forth as well. She felt so happy and light, as if a huge weight was taken off her shoulders by this lackadaisical surgeon... this man she was so entirely dependent on... and who depended so thoroughly on her.

She slid off the rock and into his arms, lying on top of him. It was dark now but neither seemed to even think about it. Love wasn't hard any more. Love was light, silly, comforting, and something to rely on. The beat of his heart, the movement of his breathing, and the touch of his skin were no longer signs of losing herself. They were now the greatest comforts in her world. With a bit of humor and a lot of love she sat up straddling him and spoke gently.

"God only knows what I'd be without you, Derek..."

Fin

Notes: Aaaaaawe, let the sunshine in! Less sad then Chapitre Un, eh? I'm feeling excited and inspired. Chapter 3 should come fairly soon. All depends on how long I'm sick for. The longer the better for writing as being in bed all day is conducive to writing fan fiction! And thanks so much to TCGeek. I'm a fan of your writing so keep it up! Well see y'all later!