Here is an extra long chapter because i havent updated in a while.

Enjoy :)


CHAPTER FIVE


CHARLIE POV

As Bella and I spoke about the plans for the future, it was clear she was still having problems with my scent. Occasionally she would stick her head out the broken window and take a deep breath. She was still Bells, but somehow I knew she wasn't my little girl anymore, she could and would protect herself. I didn't want to bring it up but I needed to know.

"Bella" She turned her attention to me. "Did you know about the Cullens, I mean before you started dating Edward?" I needed to know she knew what she was getting herself into. I never hated Edward, disliked him… yes but never hated him. He had broken my little girls heart and now there was nothing more that I wished for than to have him here to help her. To comfort her.

"Yes" I knew talking about them would hurt her and I didn't want that. I wouldn't push her for too much information. When she went silent I was thinking of a different topic but before I could say anything else she continued. "Do you remember the accident with Tyler's van? How I told you Edward saved me?" I nodded for her to continue. How could I forget! "Well, Edward had been on the other side of the car park when it happened and somehow still managed to reach me in time" she let out a small laugh. "Not to mention lifting a moving van off me."

"He what?"

"He's very fast and strong, I guess I am now as well." She sighed and continued. "Well, I knew then, at least I knew something was different about him and the others. We spoke, he hinted and I pressed but he didn't tell me, he was worried I wouldn't understand." Another small laugh escaped her lips. "Could you blame him?" it was a rhetorical question so I didn't answer but I could see the relief washing over her features as she was finally able to tell someone. Keeping this secret couldn't have been the easiest thing. "Your not going to like this next bit."

"Why? Did he hurt you?" I asked, shocked.

"No. He saved me again. Remember I went to Port Angeles with Angela and Jessica. Well I separated from them to get a book before the store shut and… well I ran into trouble."

"What kind of trouble?" I inquired feeling my anger rising.

"The kind that involves one girl and five drunk guys." I shut my eyes, taking a very deep breath.

"Did they?" I couldn't finish the sentence. How could this have happened and I not know.

"No. Edward turned up. He saved me." I opened my eyes to see the soft smile on her lips. She missed him, that was clear but she really did love him. I just couldn't understand this though, everything she was saying and the way he watched her, I would have sworn on anything that he loved her. But… why did he leave if he did. Granted he was a child and his family was moving but then he wasn't… I was beginning to get confused and was thankful when she interrupted my thoughts. "That was the night he told me." She looked down fiddling with the hem of her t-shirt.

"What happened then?" I didn't want any reference to anything well… you know but I was enthralled in this whole story. It was like a twisted fairytale.

"You remember the day I went to play baseball?"

"The first day I met Edward?"

"Yes, well we were playing when others came. They weren't like the Cullen's. When they smelt me they turned hostile. That's why…"

I cut her off. "You left for Phoenix?" I had never understood that whole thing but was just happy to have her home.

"Yes. They wanted to kill me and the Cullen's thought it best to hide me while they hunted them. Alice and Jasper were with me the whole time. Edward, Carlisle and Emmett took off hunting James, while Rosalie and Esme stayed behind to watch you. We weren't sure what they would do." I nodded again, I wanted to know, I needed the answers she was finally offering. Another sigh left her mouth as she stuck her head out the window again and pulled in a deep breath. "Clean air" she shrugged. I smiled at her.

"What happened then?" I pressed for the rest of the story.

"I was in Phoenix, when Alice got a vision about James."

"Wait, a vision, what?" Was she… no that's not possible.

"Oh right, well… some vampires have abilities. Alice, well Alice can see the future. At least she can see a set decision but as the decision changes the vision changes as well. Jasper can read emotions, He's an Empath…"

"Did Ed…" I started but stopped when I saw her expression. It really was much worse than I had given her credit for.

"Yes. He can read minds. Well actually everyone's but mine. I was the only person he had ever come across who's mind was a mystery." She smiled then and I knew she was thinking of something more. I raised my eyebrow at her. "That wasn't the only thing that I was for him. Vampires have a saying. La Tua Cantante. It basically means that my blood sings to him. He described it as my scent to him being the same as the best drug to the biggest drug addict. No body turns it down, but he did. I'm only know starting to realize the constant pain he must have been in just being in my presence. No wonder he left…" She trailed off lost in thought.

"You said Alice had a vision?"

"Yes. She saw me with James. You remember how bad I was after my accident?" I nodded, realizing what she was about to tell me.

"There was no hotel or broken window was there?"

"No. Just a very twisted vampire. It was all a game to him." She twisted her wrist and looked down, I could she her inspecting something but I could see what it was from here.

"What?" I asked, intrigued.

"You remember that strange scar I had on my wrist, the one that you often said looked more like a dog bite than broken glass?"

It hit me then like a slap. It was a bite. My anger fumed. Jake and the others had filled me in but from what I understood, if you were bitten even once you became one of them. "Bite" was all I managed to get out. "But how…"

He expression turned sad again. "Edward saved me… again" With the final word she laughed. "God I was such a nuisance to that boy, all he ever did was save me and all I ever did was hurt him." She looked as if she wanted to cry. "Anyway, they took care of James that day, its how the old Ballet studio near mom's burnt down. I'm sorry I kept this all from you its just…"

"Its okay Bells, I understand." As much as I didn't want too, I did. I understood that it wasn't her secret to share and I also understood just how much it wasn't possible for me to even try and comprehend her pain.

"There was a vampire with James, her name is Victoria. She's the one that…" I watched her, I knew what ever she was saying should be obvious but I just couldn't see it.

"What about her?" Jake's voice filled the room then?

"She did this" As Bella spoke she motioned down her body and suddenly the answer was clear.

We were all silent for a moment. I know knew the extent of things… but I still didn't know why they left. "Bells, why did they go?" She knew who I was talking about. If only I could get hold of them, ask for help.

"Edward said he didn't want me anymore, that I wasn't good for him… he was right." My breath caught, it didn't make sense. He wouldn't have kept saving her only to change his mind. I had been broken once and I knew you didn't just wake up one day and stop loving someone. "Well, Victoria said something as well."

"What Bells?" Jacob asked, taking my question right out of my thoughts.

"Apparently he's not doing too good. He lied to me. He left to save me from this." She motioned to herself again. "Edward believes when your turned you lose your soul and he didn't want that for me… apparently." I could see the want to believe on her face but I had to also believe that Victoria was lying. It all didn't make sense. Surely if he was lying to her and if Alice could really see the future they would have come to stop this, to help but they weren't here which lead me to believe he didn't care, which also made absolutely no sense. I huffed. The silence in the room grew until the light starting pushing through the window.

"Carlisle called." Jacobs voice broke the silence. We both turned to stare at him. "When you were missing, he rang to see if everything was okay. He said he would call back but never did."

"Did… did you tell him?" Bella's voice had changed so much but the emotion ripping through her words was still just as clear.

"That you were missing?" She nodded. "Yes. I told him that we didn't know and even asked if Edward had heard from you. He went silent and then said he had to go, it was only very short." She nodded again.

"I guess they don't care." She barely said as she turned her full body to the window.

"Right lets go." Sam's voice barked in from behind us. "Bella, Stay here. Do NOT leave." He barked at her. I understood his order but it still annoyed me that he felt it necessary to speak to her like that.


EDWARD POV

The morning rays started hitting through the clouds, we were nearly there. It wasn't rainy and yet, thankfully it was clouded over enough to give us coverage for the day.

"We're safe today but be careful anyway." Alice warned the others.

We kept running and soon we stood at the back of the forest looking towards Bella's window. We watched for any sign of life but nothing.

"Its empty." Jasper announced, not being able to find any emotions. As he spoke a black SUV pulled up and a mixture of thoughts assaulted me.

'How am I meant to get through this? Did he ever really love her? I wish he was here…' Was Charlie talking about me.

'I should have asked more, I should have got that stupid bloodsuckers number.' Jacob was angry.

"Right Charlie, get dressed I'll be back before we have to go to the church." My legs dropped beneath me and I couldn't help but block everyone out of my head. This was really happening she was dead. I thought of the Volturi, of how quickly I could get there but I wanted one last chance to say goodbye. I would wait for the end of the funeral and then I would leave. It wouldn't be long.

"EDWARD NO" Alice's shout awakened me out of my thoughts.

"I don't want to be in a world without her Alice. I want to say goodbye first but then just let me…"

"Son, No." Carlisle interrupted. "You need to really think about this, don't do it."

"Carlisle" I looked towards Esme as I continued. "Would you want to live without Esme?" He didn't answer me. None of them did. They knew I was right. I watched the house and heard the sound of Charlie's sobs.

"He's not doing too good." Jasper muttered to everyone.

"Poor Charlie." Alice huffed.

"Edward do you want to attend the funeral?" Esme asked, placing a soft hand on my shoulder. I nodded in the positive. I wanted a final goodbye and afterwards I would admit everything to her before I left for Italy.

"We should get changed. We're not exactly wearing appropriate clothing." Alice mused, she was right, but I couldn't care less either way.

"Edward come on…" Emmett said pulling my arm. "She's not here anymore…" His voice was so low, I hardly heard him.

"I want to know what happened!" I argued.

"Oh we will. Who ever did this will pay." It was Rosalie's first real comment about Bella since we left Forks. We were all surprise. "What? I'm not allowed to miss her?" She turned and I could feel the anger emanating out of her. I didn't need Jasper to tell me.

Returning to the house and entering my room was like being run over by a tank. I was back and she wasn't ever coming back. I wanted to cry, but I knew if I allowed my sobs to escape I wouldn't be able to stop. I was glad in that very moment that I couldn't actually cry tears, I would have been such a state. I walked through the motions of getting dressed, Alice had brought me in a black suit and told me change. I didn't argue, I just wanted to get back to Charlie for answers.

No one spoke on the way back to Charlie's. I heard Carlisle's thoughts of if we would be wanted at this funeral but I didn't care. I was going to say my goodbyes. We stopped across the road and watched as Alice's vision played out in front of me. Bella's friends lined the street, as Charlie stood waiting on the steps of the house, Jacob standing next to him. There were some faces I didn't recognize but I couldn't have cared either way.

The long black hearse pulled up then. I could smell rotting flesh but everything that made my Bella's scent was gone. She was really gone. I couldn't hold it in anymore as I watched the others make their way towards the small coffin. The sobs broke free and wrecked my chest. I instantly felt Carlisle and Emmett holding onto my arms, trying to calm me. Jasper was sending calming waves at me but it wasn't helping, I was too far gone. She was really not ever coming back. I watched as they lifted the coffin and five tanned boys place it on their shoulders. Jacob and Charlie were at the front. The tears streaming down Charlie's face. I couldn't concentrate on anything but what was happening before me. For the first time since I had been changed, I remembered what it was like to have a human mind with no abilities. I couldn't even imagine and I didn't care what I looked like, I knew how bad I had looked when I returned to Denali, everyone had thought it and now with my sobs and what was left of my composure gone, well I didn't want to know. I didn't care.

Charlie's eyes met mine as I watched horrified through my sobs.

"Edward" He mouthed and a shocked expression replaced his tears. I felt my knees go as I begged in my mind for him not to ask me to leave. I was only barely aware of Carlisle and Emmett actually holding me off the ground as Esme was slowly stroking my face trying to stop the sobs.

"Charlie" Alice cried out as the sobs took her down as well. Jasper held on to her tighter as she continued to speak. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry Charlie. It was took late. I didn't know till it was too late. I'm sooo sorry." Jasper pulled her in tighter and she tuned not being able to watch the coffin that close to her. Charlie's eyes had left mine as he took in Alice's words.

"It's okay Alice" he whispered softly at her. How was he so calm. I felt my anger bring on another round of sobs and this time I couldn't even attempt to fight them. Death would be the only thing to stop this, and I didn't deserve that. I left her and now she was… I should burn for eternity in hell for doing this to her and I probably would. "Edward" Charlie's voice broke my thoughts and I used my last but of energy to look up at him. His expression was so pained and yet it seemed to worsen when he saw me. He squinted his eyes slightly before he took a deep breath. "We need to talk, but after."

I nodded at him. It was all I could manage. He deserved his chance to blame me, to shout at me. I would give him that. They continued passed us, all the boys carrying her gave me the strangest looks but I couldn't care what they thought of me. I watched as the others started to follow them down the road, the church was at the top of Charlie's road so it wasn't long to walk.

'Who invited Cullen?' Mike Newton spat my name.

'I told her he loved her. Look at him, poor Edward. At least he didn't see how bad she was after they left.' Angela's thoughts stung at me. For her to think that, Bella must have been worse than I assumed.

'Damn he looks bad… I wonder if he needs a shoulder to cry on?' I glared at Jessica, making it clear that I didn't want her attention.

'What is he doing here… It's his fault. Cliff diving, yeah right. She was so depressed… they should just call it what it was. Suicide.' Eric's tears were streaming down his face, but the anger was clear as he glared in my direction.

Was he right? Cliff diving, is that how she died? But my Bella didn't like heights. I thought about Angela's thoughts. How bad was she? He was right? She wasn't reckless, she wouldn't have jumped without meaning to… oh God. "I killed her" I whispered, only my family would have been able to hear.

"What do you mean?" Carlisle asked as they all leaned in closer.

"Official report is accident but it wasn't… She jumped off a cliff." My voice broke as I said the words, Eternity in hell was really looking right about now. The sobs took me again as I replayed Eric's words over and over again. The whole family gasped and I blocked out the thoughts as I let my sobs take me even deeper.

I was too lost in my sobs to take notice of the outdoor ceremony that was taking place just in front of me. I hadn't even noticed when it was over and everyone left. I just stood there with my family looking at the open grave in front of me where my Bella was lying.

"Edward, Edward. Snap out of it." Jasper said as he pulled me from my staring. I was empty.

"What?" I said emotionless. I was aware of Charlie standing opposite me, but he was alone and I truly didn't care anymore. I took a step forward, Carlisle and Emmett released their grip on me as I took another step towards her grave. I stood on the edge wanting nothing more than to climb in with her. To rest with her for eternity.

"Please don't Edward." Alice's voice broke as she had obviously seen another vision of my fast approaching death.

"I don't want to live without her Alice. I wont." I could hear the emptiness in my words as I knelt on my knee's next to her grave and leaned over it slightly to look down. Apparently I wasn't the only one who didn't care about Charlie's watching eyes because Alice and Emmett stepped closer then both talking at me.

"Edward please. I cant lose you as well. I wont survive it. Please Edward. Don't…" Alice begged.

"Don't do it man. Lil sis is in heaven now. Do you… do you think she's with my lil Katie? They can look after each other." With his final words he dropped beside me and I could see the sobs wreck him as Rosalie tried to comfort him. Bella was in heaven where she belonged… that's when it hit me. Suicide. According to her religion, Suicide was a sin. She wasn't in heaven. But they couldn't keep her out. My mind was suddenly racing with possibilities of where she could be.

I leaned further in, I was going to stay with her till my body gave out and I moved on to what ever I deserved. But I would stay with her as long as I could. She wouldn't be alone. Alice grabbed my arm. "Please Edward don't. If you go down there… I don't want you to die as well." Charlie was watching us intensely and I was curious as to why nobody had tried to stop this all. I turned to look at Carlisle and Esme who were hugging and shaking slightly, trying to comfort each other through there silent dry tears. Jasper stood on the sidelines and I could see his guilt written across his face. He was blaming himself.

'Edward can you hear me?' My head snapped towards Charlie. Did he know I could hear him? How? Did Bella tell him everything after we left? I nodded at him, I would take what ever punishment he deemed necessary. 'Did you really leave to protect her?' He did know. He was in danger now, if the Volturi ever found out. I couldn't go to them, Aro would see it in my thoughts. So my choice was made. I would climb down and in with her till I finally slumbered.

"Yes" I barely said. He nodded at me. I felt my whole family's attention on the situation knowing that I had just answered Charlie's thoughts.

"Follow me" He stated emotionless as he turned and headed for the police cruiser. As we walked over I noticed the SUV from earlier but it was empty. Charlie opened the door and threw the keys at me. I caught them then eyed him. "I asked Jacob to leave the car. There's too many of you to fit in my cruiser. I need to show you something." I started towards the car followed by Alice and Jasper. Emmett and Rosalie stood a moment longer before walking over and climbing in the back while Carlisle and Esme walked towards Charlie. He watched me as I opened the door and took another look back at him. "Stay close" was his final words as he stepped into his car and started the engine.

We drove down the familiar 101. I tried again to block the surrounding thoughts out. As long as they didn't call my name, or hers, I seemed to manage it easily enough. What could he want to show me? Maybe he was going to kill me for what I had done to her. We were getting closer to the treaty boundary line just as he pulled off on a small overgrown drive way. We drove again, getting closer to the ocean. Great. Was he going to show me where she killed herself because of me? I really hoped not. I deserved it but I wasn't sure I could handle it.

We pulled up outside a small cottage, it was weather beaten and looked ancient. What on earth could he possibly be showing us here? We all stood looking at it while Charlie walked to the door. He turned and gave me one last look, his thoughts all muddled. I knew it had something to do with Bella but I didn't know what. I couldn't seem to figure it out no matter how hard I tried. He walked him and I heard him talking to someone. He spoke softly and the answering voice wasn't someone that I recognized although the musical tone of it made me aware that it wasn't necessarily a human. I took a step closer as the front door opened a little wider and Charlie stepped out.

"We need your help." He stepped to the side and from behind him, long brown wavy hair stepped out of the doorway. She was looking at her feet. My mind screamed that I knew that hair, I knew that posture but it couldn't be. She sighed and raised her head to look at us. Her red eyes immediately caught mine.

"Bella" I breathed as she winced at my appearance.