Needing
There's a lot of pain in reaching out and trying
It's a vulnerable place to be
Love and pride can't occupy the same space, baby
And only one makes you free
Columbus and Wichita
Columbus looked at Wichita much the same way he had when she laughed at Bill Murray's demise. "It's not that I don't like it," she said. "I like it because I can tell you're into it, and that helps get me into it. C'mon! It's the same as when you tune into me... And by the way, there's no way I can buy him being bad at body language. You read my body, right?" She gave him a playful nudge. He just folded his arms.
As he lay in bed that night, a voice whispered in his ear, "So explain to me one more time- exactly how did this happen?" On the other bed, Wichita was curled up with her sister.
Columbus and Little Rock
"I don't see why we have to go through this," Little Rock said. "He's a nice guy who managed to bag my sister. Good for you, but so what?"
"But we have to be around each other, and we have to get along somehow," Columbus said. "And I have always liked you." He started to put an arm around her, but withdrew as she entered an aggressive sulk.
"Perhaps we should move things back," Stanford said. 'Why don't you share a little about your biological family..."
"What's to tell? My father left, my mother was never around, and my `real' sister preferred her freak boyfriend over me!"
"Does that make you see Columbus as a threat?"
"No! But he is a bit of a freak."
He turned to Columbus. "Why don't you tell Little Rock about your family."
After a moment of surprise and discomfort, he said, "Well, I guess anything I've got, my dad probably had worse. He mostly worked from home, spent most of the time in his office with the door shut, and when he wasn't working he would watch videos of old TV shows. He got me a microscope for my tenth birthday- I think that sealed the deal on my fear of germs. When he decided I needed to learn about sex, he handed me a medical textbook. The furthest we ever went on a family vacation was a three-day trip to Chicago to look at the Field Museum. My mom wasn't as bad. She would spend time with me, help with school. She was the one who put together the paperwork that got me a scholarship at A&M. But we still didn't talk much. When she said `I love you', I would just say, `I know.'"
"I get it, your family sucked," Little Rock said. "That doesn't make us BFFs."
"Let's talk about something you mentioned in the last interview with Wichita. When the Pandemic broke out, you decided you had to reach them," Stanford said. "Why did you make that decision?"
"They were my family," he said almost by reflex. Under the doctor's probing case,he added, "I- They needed me."
"They needed? Or you needed? And why?"
"I needed... to make it up to them. To do better."
"You think things would have changed?" the doctor said.
"I know things would have been different," Columbus said. He added defiantly, "I changed."
"I will grant you that. But change in a relationship doesn't depend on just one person, does it? You knew your parents better than anyone. If you had gotten back to them, alive, and made all the changes you wanted to on your own part, would they have done the same for you?"
"They would have had a chance."
"They did have a chance, many times. You didn't fail them by not giving them one more."
Columbus put his head in his hands. After a moment's hesitation, Little Rock put a hand on her shoulder.
"Now what?" Tal said that night. Columbus and Little Rock had fallen asleep holding hands on the couch.
