First of all, I thank all those who added my story or my profile to their updates. I hope that you continue to enjoy this story. It's a lot of fun to write.
Breakfast with Carly had done a world of good, Lulu decided as she stepped off the elevator at the hospital. Carly always had that effect on her. She made Lulu put things into perspective.
In this case, it was that Lulu was in Port Charles for her father. She needn't worry about anything but Luke. The chances that she would run into Johnny were nil and the chances that her daughter might run into him were less than that. Lulu needed to focus her attention on her father and making sure that he improved enough for her to go home.
The problem was doing that wasn't always so easy. Lulu couldn't help but think of Johnny and how things had been before she'd left. Being back in town, she wondered what if things had been different.
But if there was one thing Lulu had learned in that last six years, it was that there was no way to go back.
She rounded the corner to her father's room, steadied herself, pushing everything else out of her mind. The door was open and Tracy was sitting in the chair by the bed. Lulu gave a cursory knock and walked in.
Tracy lifted her head and turned when she heard the noise. She rose, moved to touch Lulu's hand. "Good morning."
"How is he?" Lulu forced out the words. She didn't want to believe that her father was failing.
"The same. But the doctors say that that means he's not getting any worse," Tracy answered with a sigh. She saw the old Lulu peeking through. The Lulu who shouldered grief and pain with such a strength that would make others crumble.
Lulu closed her eyes, willed herself to stay strong. "He's going to be okay."
Tracy nodded sharply. "Oh course he is. Luke would hate himself if he went down after a mundane heart attack." She angled her head, studied the blond woman. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," Lulu turned, walked to the bed, touched her father's hand. "I'm just fine. Stressed maybe, but I'm fine. I have to be."
"You don't have to shoulder all the grief. That's why I'm here or your brothers," Tracy said gently. She knew that Lulu was a little leery of her motherly concern. Hell, she was a little leery of the foreign feelings, but it seemed to work.
Lulu didn't say anything and Tracy sighed. "I'll leave you alone for a little while. I'll go get some coffee or something."
Lulu waited. She wasn't going to repeat what she'd said the day before. Her father knew what he had to live for, even if he didn't always appreciate it. She didn't know what exactly to say to him.
"You are going to be just fine."
She sat in Tracy's vacated chair just as she heard a knock on the door. Glancing behind her, she saw her former sister-in-law with a clipboard in her hand. "I just needed to check in vitals," Elizabeth said quietly.
Lulu nodded, rose. "That's fine. How is he?"
"He's the same. That's just as good as being better," Elizabeth answered, making notations on the chart. She turned, smiled at Lulu. "You just have to have a little faith."
"That's the hard part," Lulu sighed, walked to the window. "Part of it."
Elizabeth laid a hand on Lulu's shoulder. "What's the other part?"
"Being here, in Port Charles; dealing with the fact that I could turn a corner and run into Johnny," Lulu replied. "I don't know if I could explain why I left."
"That would mean telling him about Amelia," Elizabeth finished for her. She understood Lulu's innate fear, having to live with it herself with her own son and his parentage.
Lulu nodded sharply. "I would never do that. He can't know."
"He won't, unless you tell him," Elizabeth replied gently, glancing back at Luke. "But right now, you need to worry about your father."
"That's what I've been telling myself. I need to focus on making sure that he gets better," Lulu sighed. She shook her head. "I need to get away from the hospital for a little while. I can't deal with this right now. I-I need to go."
She didn't wait for an answer, instead grabbing her coat and rushing out of the room.
Elizabeth smiled slightly, walking back to the bed and staring down at her former father-in-law. "You have no choice but to get better, Luke Spencer. Your daughter needs you, though she would be the last person to admit it. But she needs you so you need to come back."
Satisfied that she had done her job as both a nurse and former daughter-in-law, Elizabeth turned and walked out of the room.
GH*GH*GH*GH*GH
Lulu walked down the steps to the Elm Street Pier. A place that held so many memories. It was just the place she needed to visit at a time like this.
She took a seat on the wooden bench, gazed out at the harbor with its clear winter water. Off in the distance, she could see Wyndemere. It was almost like sitting on her balcony at home in Greece.
She needed a moment to clear her head, she realized. Breakfast with Carly had done her some good, but after she'd been alone in her father's hospital room, her mind had drifted to Johnny and the past.
For six years, she refused to think about what could have happened. She'd focused her attention on her daughter and on forging a new a life. Truthfully, she never had the time to think about it. She'd stayed busy and just being in Greece—half a world away from Port Charles—had allowed her to forget about what had happened.
But now, it was the closest thing to her mind.
She loved her daughter more than anything, didn't regret anything that had happened, but the idea of Johnny not only scared her, it made her wonder what could have been.
* * * * *
Johnny shoved his hands in his pockets. He needed to walk, to clear his head; because he obviously wasn't going to get anything done at work.
He couldn't get Lulu out of his mind; couldn't quite wrap his mind around the fact that she was back, after all these years. Seeing her, watching her, made him realize just how much he was still in love with her.
And it made him realize how far out of his league she'd become.
He turned toward the docks. It had become his place after she'd left. He would go down and watch the boats go in and out of the harbor mindlessly. It passed the time and allowed for ample thinking space.
As he turned the corner, he stopped dead. There she was, sitting on his bench, looking out at the water.
What the hell was he supposed to do about it? Run away? Confront her? He was more confused than ever now. It took him less than thirty seconds to decide that he had to take a chance.
"Long time no see."
She jumped in response. She's obviously not expected anyone to be there. But he knew that she had recognized his voice. He watched her square her shoulders and stand. When she turned to face him, he saw that the woman in front of him was not the girl he remembered.
"What the hell do you want?"
* * * * * *
Even as she was turning to face him, her mind was racing. What in the world was he doing here? Why did this have to happen now? She couldn't deal with her father and Johnny. And, oh god, what would happen if he found out about Amelia?
She turned sharply, her eyes narrowed. "What do you want?"
Johnny said nothing; he walked down the steps, watching her. "I didn't expect to see you back."
She scoffed. "Well, my father's in the hospital. What was I supposed to do?"
His brow furrowed. "Your dad? Is he okay?"
She shook her head. "He's not completely out of the woods yet. But we're hopeful."
"I'm sorry to hear that Luke's not doing well."
"Thanks." She gathered up her purse, deciding that she couldn't do this right now. "Now if you'll excuse me." She brushed past him, racing up the steps. His voice stopped her before she rounded the corner.
"You owe me an explanation, at least."
She stopped, turned, her face stony. "I don't owe you anything."
He walked back up the steps, until he was level with her. "You leave without a word. No one will tell me where you've gone. All I wanted to know was why."
"I don't owe you anything," she repeated harshly. "We're nothing to each other."
"That one night. I thought that it meant something to you," he replied.
"It was a mistake, Johnny. A mistake that needs to be forgotten. It never changed anything. We just aren't good for each other."
"How can you say that? I remember how we were that night. The way you were. It wasn't coming from a person who wasn't in love," Johnny said desperately. He was hoping against hope here, afraid that if she rounded the corner, he'd never see her again.
She shook her head. "We just weren't meant to be together. I'm sorry." She started to walk away.
"I'm still in love with you."
His voice stopped her again, much in the same way it had when she'd been hitchhiking alongside the highway all those years ago. She bit back the tears that threatened. She couldn't cry now, even though she was more than aware that she felt the same way.
But it couldn't be like that. She couldn't love him because she couldn't be with him. Not now, now then. Not ever.
She turned again, hating the tears that were starting to fall. He was watching her, waiting. She closed her eyes, willed herself to remain calm. "I know."
She didn't wait now. The tears were falling freely and there was no way she would be able to stand strong. She ran, blindly, away from her past. She didn't know where she was running to, but she sure as hell knew what she was running from.
She was running from her heart. She knew that Johnny was still in love with her because she felt the same way about him. But she'd long decided that they couldn't be together and there was no going back.
That was one of the lessons she'd learned in the time that she'd been away from Port Charles.
GH*GH*GH*GH*GH
Thanks for reading. I must inform everyone that this story may not get regular updates as I am going to college in a few days. I will, however, update when I can. Keep an eye out for the next update!
