Oh dear God, I have an audience. I've actually got to meet some expectations now.
Thanks so much for the reviews, I am aware the chapters are a little confusing. I'm trying to fix it. It's just when the author rereads something they've been thinking on for hours, they think it makes sense (because in the long haul it does to them). Forgive me!
I've still got several more chapters up my sleeve, more twists and more tender moments, and of course, more madness.
"Do you not see that this is her doing? The Red Queen is surely influencing you."
"Hatter, please."
I was suddenly seeing a whole lot of the Hatter, now that I was recovering from whatever sickness had befallen me. He seemed more irritated than usual, but to be perfectly honest, he seemed more like his old self. The Hatter talked more quickly and jumped from one thing to the next; it didn't bother me, I actually found it a comfort. I giggled quite a few times when he reprimanded me for even speaking with Ilosovic. Clearly he had never met the man, as he was a charmer. I suspected they wouldn't get along though.
Ilosovic was a knight. He was some distant relative of a royal family and behaved as such—sharp clothes, witty comments here and there, and always smiling and comforting. I already felt like a princess though I'd not known him long.
But it did upset me that the Hatter was not as joyful about the situation. He wore his heart on his sleeve so often that it pained me to see his frown. But honestly, the accusations he made were just plain silly. Though his sorrow pained me, I could only give him so much pity.
"How could the Red Queen be doing any of this? She is dead, Hatter."
"So was the Knave. I…k-killed him, and yet he is here. In this world. With us."
I folded my arms. I was growing rather tired of the argument. The Hatter had stopped by again for brunch and was pleasant as always to my mother but the second the meal was over he had stolen outside to the garden with a grimace tracing his lips. He hurriedly told me he had figured it out—that the Red Queen's vile spirit had some how been preserved and was trying to push my mind in a direction I would never wander when thinking clearly.
Yes, it was absurd.
"How do you know Ilosovic is the Knave then, hm? If you killed him, wouldn't he still remain dead in Wonderland?"
"How should I know? This is not my world, Alice. The only reason I am here is to protect you to ensure Wonderland's preservation."
My mouth slipped open as he spoke. "That's the only reason?" I felt offended, but wasn't exactly sure why.
He promptly closed his.
"I think you're jealous, Hatter." There went another accusation without much thought spared ahead of time.
"I think you're trying to twist this in your favor. Alice, please, listen to me. That man is the embodiment of the Knave, you simply cannot marry him!"
"Why, Hatter? Why can I not marry a man I fancy?"
He put his foot down. "Because, Alice. If you were thinking clearly you wouldn't spare him a second thought."
My mouth went round. "Hatter, stop it. I love him."
I knew it had only been two weeks…sure, but the man had been extraordinarily kind, especially given I was dreadfully ill. He had brought me flowers and treats and even a new toy for Dinah. As I grew stronger, he summoned the courage to propose.
Yet it was as if the Hatter had not heard me. "How can you not see through this, Alice? His gifts—he's surely been tricking you. I wouldn't be surprised if he was somehow poisoning your mind in attempts to make you think you fancy him."
"That's preposterous. Hatter, I can't believe you. You're supposed to be my friend."
"I'm trying to."
"I think this conversation is done, then."
I turned my back to him in the garden, and yet I could feel his frown staring me in the back of the head.
"Alice," he whispered.
I did not face him. "It won't work this time, Hatter. Now be gone." When I did not hear his footfalls fading away, I turned on my heel and barked, "Be gone!"
But he had snatched my arm and was slowly twisting it. My mouth slipped open and a gasp of pain escaped me. I did not like the dark look in his eye or the way I felt shrinking beneath his hold. As I slipped to my knees, his hair suddenly lit to a brilliant orange and his face gave way to the pale complexion I once knew. Except this time, he was frowning.
"Let go," I whimpered.
"No," he hissed. The word seemed to pain him.
"Let me go."
"I will not let her have you, Alice. The Red Queen. You killed her and she cannot have you!"
I did not understand. The Queen had been vanquished…
My eyes pressed tightly together just as the sky began to swirl and I choked, "No, let me go, Hatter…"
Suddenly my hand fell beside me. I shook quietly for a moment and then looked up to find his frown had disappeared and another, confusing expression masked his face instead.
"You must overcome this. You have to stay away from the Knave… Alice! Promise me you will…" he hissed dejectedly.
I shook my head. He made a sound of irritated disapproval. I choked back a sob.
With tears rivering from my eyes I looked to him again, this time pleading, "Hatter, what is wrong with me? Why do you say the Queen is here? And the Knave? We are not in Wonderland… Please, help me to understand. Dear Hatter, please, I do not know what to do nor even what to think…"
The skies grew darker as tears blurred my view. The Hatter knelt low before me, his thumbs chasing the tears away that had already run down my cheeks. He felt cold and blue and yet I imagined I was leaning into his touch.
"Help me," I whispered. His hands froze on my face when I looked to him. He did not look as startled as I imagined he felt, but the stark stillness about him said he was not comfortable. At least I had the ability to put him in his place. Served the man right for staring me down so much earlier, making me blush.
Yet I sniffled. My fingers twisted in the grass. "You don't like Ilosovic? If you are jealous, Hatter, please…just tell me."
"Alice—"
I don't know how, but suddenly our faces were much closer and his eyes were much wider.
"Please help me," I had tried to say. But I swallowed my words as our lips came together.
The grass turned a brighter green, and the sky became the deepest shade of blue. I saw his eyes close and felt his mouth open against mine when suddenly he edged away. Pain flooded his face. An attempt at speaking my name died on his lips. He would not open his eyes as he put a hand to my neck, and he would not hear me when I choked out his name.
Shudders erupted somewhere in the back of my mind as our lips crushed together again.
I was drowning. I was starving. The world became so loud around us, increasingly so as his touch became more desperate. Tremors shook my entire being. My eyes fluttered open for only an instant.
Then I almost screamed. I pulled away rather quickly and the Hatter's eyes flashed open. Wonderland was running wild around us, complete with a torrential sky grumbling overhead. The Jabberwock was snarling and the Red Queen was screaming in the distance. The grass was flecked with blood, and the Hatter looked the way I'd always known him to.
I sobbed and ran from him, from Wonderland and it's rage—right into a stony embrace. With the breath crushed out of me, my eyes found Ilosovic standing there, holding me protectively from the Hatter, who was scrambling to his feet with a rather worrisome expression now tacked to his flesh-toned face. I was suddenly in the garden again.
"Alice—" he stammered. I had to blink forcibly several times just to see him properly.
"Leave," Ilosovic snarled. "Leave, now."
"Please…Knave…" the Hatter objected.
Ilosovic's arm pressed tighter around my waist when another shiver struck me. He was reaching for something within his jacket when suddenly I grabbed at his wrist. I would have simply shook my head, kept quiet like a young lady should, but instead words tumbled out of me before I realized I was even speaking. "Mr. Hightopp, please just go."
He said nothing. There was no acknowledgement at all, save for the fact that he was backing away. The silent Hatter faded into the woods beside our garden without so much as blinking.
Many minutes after his disappearance, Ilosovic's rugged voice cut the air, "Please tell me he coerced you."
I was left staring at his chest when his grip loosened. "I do not know."
Ilosovic stayed for supper. He offered to cook with my mother. I volunteered to send for my sister and her husband, if only to have a moment to myself during the journey there. Margaret was delighted as always to see Ilosovic and for a few moments, though fleeting, I could not help but smile beside her. The fact I smiled must have, surely, meant I loved the man. Margaret chattered noisily through dinner and her husband tried to strike up conversation with Ilosovic, though the man was quiet and seemed to still have some reservations about what had happened that afternoon while I had done everything in my power to forget it.
As my mother saw Margaret to the door, Ilosovic walked me to the stairs. It was rather late. I feared opening my mouth when it was just he and I standing there.
But the man chased every fear away when he knelt low and kissed my lips gingerly, lingering a bit too long before rising to his full height once more.
"Good evening," he bade.
"I'm sorry," I sputtered.
"For what?" he replied lowly. I heard the edge in his voice.
He watched me carefully. "This afternoon. Things got out of hand."
Ilosovic shook his head. "Put it out of your mind," he murmured. "Have sweet dreams. I will be there in the morning to scare away the nightmares if need be."
He soon left, kissing my mother on the cheek on the way out, before I stole up the stairs and around the corner. I had no more tears left to cry, so instead I sank against the hallway's wall, whimpering into my palms. The Hatter had torn me in two. I truly cared for Ilosovic. I wanted him beside me. I wanted him to chase the nightmares away and kiss me goodnight. But the Hatter…
I felt as though I wanted, or perhaps deserved, so much more.
