Chapter Eleven: James and Victoria
Bella was sobbing gently at the prowess of Edward's family when it came to their knitting. They are right, thought Bella miserably. I could not hope to keep up with that kind of stamina.
Little Emmett noticed Bella's tears and exclaimed:
'HAH! YOU'RE A FAT BABY! A FLABBY PATTY! DOES BABY WANT HER MILK?'
'Your mom,' burped Bella into Emmett's face. Now it was his turn to cry.
'SMEEELLY!' He howled, and grabbed on to his mother, doing that think where kids bury their heads into their parent's bottoms whilst hugging them.
'I'm so sorry,' apologised Bella. 'I know how much you all want me, but really, I only came to watch you doing what you do best.'
Edward's mother was about to reply, when there came a crash. Looking up, Edward screamed silently and pointed up at the hole where the trap door was. There came another crash and a pile of dust fell into Edward's moth.
Jasper started to panic and pace.
'Oh no! I know who this is! Quick, everyone! Either grab a weapon or adopt a suitable pose!'
Everyone ran around (except for Bella, who vibrated her flab to give the illusion that she too was running around frantically) and picked up a weapon.
Edward's mother (whose name was Esmerelda Gershap Groganinni) picked up an empty water bottle, and ripped off its lid. She aimed it in the air above her.
Edward issued 3D glasses to everyone.
'Thank goodness we have these! Even though we didn't bother using them when we saw Avatar in 3D, they are bound to be useful now!' He said joyfully.
Jasper pointed the twig that Edward had been fighting with in the air.
Emmett, after whining that he couldn't find anything to use, turned around and pulled down his pants, mooning whoever was about to come down the trap door. Bella hurriedly turned her pockets inside out. She found a wad of used gum. Hmmm. That would have to do.
Steeling themselves, the five of them waited. Soon enough, a blonde boy and a red-headed girl came down the trapdoor. They were wearing identical convict outfits (black and white stripes etc). The blonde boy was armed with a paintball gun, and the red-haired girl had a slingshot. The blonde boy glared at Emmett's bare behind and shot at it using his paintball.
SPLAT!
This was followed by a scream of pain by Emmett, as he rolled around rubbing his bottom in pain.
'What are you doing here?' asked Esme, a sorrowful expression on her face.
The red-haired girl screwed up her face.
'James and I wanted to knit with you, of course.' Edward's family seemed to calm down a little. Now they and the newcomers were smiling hesitantly at each other.
Bella at this point thought of a clever idea. She said to the girl:
'Why, you have lovely teeth! Allow me to examine them for a second!'
The girl smiled broadly.
'Thank you! That sounds lovely!'
'Say "aaahhhhh"'
'Aaaahhhhhh….Aaaaaahhhhh'
Bella chuckled loudly and waddled up to the girl's mouth. She pretended to peer in and admire the teeth, all the while pulling the gum out of her pocket. She cried out: 'PURE OWNAGE!' and smacked the gum onto the girl's teeth.
'Aaaaaahhh-AAAHHH?!?!?!'
The girl spat the gum out and started running around the perimeter of the room in a fury.
'Victoria! Calm down!' said the boy named James. 'Right! You people are in for it now!'
He joined her and started running around too, his movements synchronised with her.
Edward turned to Bella.
'Now look what you've done.'
Bella was slightly annoyed by this. She flicked Edward's 3D glasses off his face. He retaliated, and flicked hers off.
Jasper tried to use his twig on the raging Victoria and James, but they pre-empted him and tore it out of his hand. They then proceeded to grab the knitting needles, and toss them into the air. They pulled the wool from the garments that Edward's family had been knitting and unravelled all of their hard work. They wound wool everywhere and rolled the balls all over the place, creating a complex little web.
Esme suddenly rushed forward, brandishing her empty water bottle. She blew into it. A sound came out of it. She adjusted the angle. She blew again and another note came out! Victoria and James froze like deer caught in headlights. Esme charged towards them now, blowing notes out of the empty bottle.
The pair of intruders started to run and scrambled up the ladder as fast as they could. At the top, Victoria peered back down, and gave Bella an evil look.
'What's your name?' she hissed.
'Moto-Moto!' she replied, thinking back to when she saw Madagascar 2. 'The name so good, you have to say it twice!'
Victoria and James disappeared completely from view then.
Edward and his family looked around them in angst. Their knitting was ruined! Bella thought it was kind of funny, and pointed at Esme, who had sat down and began to cry.
'It's time to go! I'll protect you,' murmured Edward into Bella's ear.
'See you Lachlan!' waved jasper.
'Don't worry,' added Bella, 'I'll try to stay alive.'
'Please don't,' said Emmett, waving them off.
Outside Edward's house, Bella rounded on him.
'How can we fix this?' she asked.
Edward sighed and squashed a few ants under his heel.
'I need to visit Jacob,' he replied, staring to Bella solemnly.
Author's note: I know I'm taking REAAALLY long to make new chapters I just have a lot going on at the moment, and I will get there eventually. Don't think I've forgotten Oh, and you might want to read chapter 10 again. When I put it up, I don't think it worked properly, or notified anyone who had subscribed to receiving notifications for this story.
