The finall part then.

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Part 6.

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I never should have jumped into the closet all those months ago.

I knew this would happen, I knew we would end up here.

I never should have hoped for something else.

He's acting like my boyfriend. Acting.

Not in public. In fact, I don't think anyone knows what's really going on between us.

He lets me do whatever I want, and he's opening up beneath me.

The smal smiles, the light touches, the quick glances. It's all just teasing me, it's all just tearing at me. I'm losing. He's making me forgett, just for tiny moments. It hurts so much to remember.

It's all just an act.

Casual fucking.

What more did I expect? It's not like you can make someone fall in love with you. Or well, it's not like I can make him fall in love with me.

He plays this game the best he can. Throwing away himself, trying to make me happy.

But I won't be happy before he loves me. And that's probably the problem. Probably? That is the problem. Or maybe the problem is that I fell in love with him in the first place. Never should have looked into those eyes, never should have let my mind slip into those thoughts. Never should have lost control.

He should have just let me run away. Sure, he would hurt in the beginning, but it would go over, right? And in the end, at least he would be happy - find himself some girl and get the life he deserves to have. What we're doing now is just driving us both into the abyss. I need to end this. It was I who started it, it's my responsibility to end it.

"Ichigo." I'm sorry I started this whole thing. I wasn't strong enough to keep my hands off you. I wasn't strong enough to hold myself back.

But I'm growing, always, constantly since I met you I've become stronger for every day that passed. And I think, no, I know, I have to be, I'm strong enough to control myself now. I'm strong enough to take my filthy hands off of you.

I'll fix this, I'll get everything back to normal.

So, "Let's break up." Not that what we have is really a relationship.

His reiatsu pulse, one single time, before it disappears completely.

And it hurts, that he's hiding his emotions with it but still, it feels nice that I don't have to feel the relief that has to be flowing through him right now. Always the gentle one, ain't you?

His eyes are glued to mine, and I can see a small worry entering as his frown deepens just slightly.

"I won't leave. Promise." Still, after all this, he's the same as he's always been. After all of this, he still don't hate me. "Let's just end this whole charade and get back to what we used to be." Truly, I'm grateful. "I can't keep this up."

"Okay."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be, I knew it would end like this." He knew I wouldn't go on forever. It's a small punch in the guts, knowing that he just put up with me like that.

"You wanna go sparring?" But it dosen't mater any more. I'll fix this. I'll put this behind me, behind us. Everything will be as it was before.

"Yeah."

I wish I could've been satisfied with just staying by his side.

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The end.

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Sorry for being such an ass. I have to even out for all the happy endings out there. Complain if you want to, I wil listen and respond but, it won't change the fact that I want my endings to be impossible to predict from the get go.