Disclaimer: I do not own Kim Possible or have any claim to it.
Author's Note: Sadly, this is the last chapter, and it's a bit shorter than the last few. It ends just before the events of Clothes Minded. On a more positive note, I'm nearly done with a post-Graduation oneshot with this couple, so look for that to be published soon!
Absence and Acceptance
Dr. Drakken felt that he spent the next two weeks in a very profitable manner. Aside from checking the progress of his faux university and sitting for the sculpture that would grace the front entry, he was able to sort out his feelings for Shego. That was certainly much easier to do alone than when she was hovering over him.
First of all, he had both confirmed and accepted the fact that he loved her. He had also managed to answer some of his questions about this circumstance. He was still not certain when it had happened, but he suspected that the feeling had been building for quite some time. In some inexplicable way, his absence from her over the summer and early fall had solidified the emotion to the extent that it was readily identifiable soon after they were together again.
The how of the situation was not much of a mystery, as the closeness of their professional relationship made it almost impossible that they would not develop some form of affection for one another. Drakken had never had this level of constant companionship with anyone not related to him, and the fact that she was a woman had undoubtedly led to the affection taking a romantic turn on his side of the equation.
Why he would have done such a ridiculous thing as fall in love with his most valued employee was a little more complicated. Most of the time, Shego was annoying and insubordinate, and it was only because she was extraordinarily good at her job that he'd kept her on so long.
At least, that was the reason he'd always given himself, but he couldn't help wondering now if he'd long had other motivations. Being in love with her certainly explained why he'd taken her back so readily after the Warmonga incident.
Truthfully, Shego did have her good points. She'd pulled Drakken out of danger or the hands of law enforcement more times than he could count, sometimes in situations where she could have made a clean getaway without him as extra baggage. Most recently, she'd dragged his unconscious and wounded body back to the demolished lair and patched him up.
He found himself going over that again and again in his mind, trying to work out her motivations every step of the way. He didn't for a moment believe that she'd told him the whole truth about that. Curiosity might have been enough for her to pay her initial visit, but it couldn't have been adequate to make her come back after Warmonga had quite forcefully "shown her the door."
Drakken couldn't help but wince a little at the memory. He honestly had not meant for Shego to get thrown through the door. It now occurred to him that Shego could have simply left at that point. Her curiosity had been satisfied, and she could have made her escape with little bruised but her pride.
Instead, she had returned to mix it up with the oversized alien, eventually getting the worst of the fight and winding up captured. What on earth could have prompted her to do that? He didn't think that her pride would have been enough to incite her to face such difficult odds, especially when there was nothing for her to gain by it. Was she really that jealous about being replaced? Or was there another layer here that she was hesitant to let him see?
In the end, he decided that it didn't matter. Even if, by some miracle, she held some feelings for him that went beyond their professional interaction, it was for her to say so. Drakken had several reasons for his reluctance to broach the matter himself.
First, he would be the first to admit that his track record with women was not exactly stellar. Oh, why mince words, it was absolutely abysmal! Therefore, he had no confidence in this area. Even the cloying and unattractive DNAmy had rejected him. Of course, he'd realized within about 24 hours that he'd probably dodged a bullet there. The adrenaline from his brush with death had undoubtedly caused him to suffer temporary insanity. Her obsession with cuteness and the color pink would have driven him crazy in short order, and he hated to think how Shego might have responded if DNAmy had taken to visiting frequently. He also suspected that a woman like Dr. Amy Hall would be extremely difficult to get rid of.
Second, one did not make the first move on someone like Shego, not if one wanted to keep all of one's internal organs where they belonged. It was all very well for her to invade his personal space on a whim, but he knew better than to respond in kind without an invitation. That was just asking for bruising and scorching, at a minimum.
Third, if he knew her as well as he thought he did, she would remain in denial of her feelings (if she even had them, which remained a very large source of uncertainty) for quite some time. Until she was ready to admit an emotional attachment, it was pointless to openly pursue her. Aside from the dangers previously mentioned, it could make their entire relationship awkward. Even worse, she could decide to run away and disappear forever. Their new working arrangement made that much simpler for her, although he'd asked that she provide him with two weeks' notice, as a courtesy, if she did decide to leave.
For the present, then, he would rather have her close in a professional capacity than have her completely out of his life. Maybe he was just a bit masochistic that way, but he'd had years now to get used to being close to things that he wanted and not quite being able to reach them. Shego merely represented a new aspect to that, and Drakken found that he could adapt to the situation without too much trouble.
Shego, on the other hand, was not nearly as satisfied with her time alone. Unlike Drakken, she didn't find that being alone with her thoughts was either helpful or calming. The first time he'd left had been particularly difficult. For one thing, she couldn't ever remember him leaving her before (and she intensely disliked the fact that she was getting into the habit of thinking about him in relationship terms). She was always the one that left, for her vacations or weekend outings or whatever. He was always here waiting when she got back. That was the way things had always been and, as far as she was concerned, the way they should be.
The other reason the first half-day was difficult was that Shego was afraid to go anywhere. For reasons she preferred not to examine, it was very important to her that Drakken begin to trust her, and that meant making sure she was there when he got back. Since the only way to be certain of that was not to leave, she was stuck hanging around the lair.
Despite her wide independent streak, Shego did not particularly like being by herself. Growing up with four brothers tended to make you used to having other people around, and as much as she hated to admit it, she occasionally missed the noise and chaos of her childhood home. Even on her time off, she typically chose populated places: spas, salons, beach resorts. To her, the best of all possible worlds was being surrounded by people she didn't have to interact with unless she wanted to.
On that first day, then, she worked out and took a long, hot bath, but that still left her with way too much time on her hands. She tried watching TV, reading a magazine, and taking a nap. By the time Dr. D arrived, looking pleasantly surprised to see her, she was a wreck. Naturally, she covered that by tossing off sharp comments as often as she could. Strangely, Drakken seemed reassured by her behavior and did not rise to the bait. Instead, he cheerfully went to the kitchen and, after putting fresh groceries in their proper places, went about making the evening meal.
Shego seated herself to watch him work, ready to offer assistance if necessary. It annoyed her that he seemed so happy after spending the entire afternoon away from her. She didn't know whether she would prefer to punch him or kiss him, and that only irritated her further. Being caught between two diametrically opposed reactions to a situation was extremely unfamiliar – and therefore uncomfortable – for her. She emitted a very unladylike growl.
"Is something wrong, Shego?" inquired Drakken mildly, pausing in his activity. Shego looked piercingly at him. His tone had sounded just a trifle too casual, too innocent, and besides, he never asked her things like that. She couldn't help wondering if he knew he was driving her nuts and if he enjoyed doing that as much as she enjoyed annoying him. Now there was an interesting thought. Inexplicably, the possibility made her feel better.
"No, nothing's wrong," she asserted nonchalantly, refusing to give him the satisfaction of knowing he was getting to her. Since he really didn't seem to care one way or the other, however, she couldn't call it a victory. Infuriating man!
The next few "holidays" went much better. It finally occurred to her that she could just leave a note if she decided to go out. Besides, she felt that she'd passed the first test, so she wasn't so jumpy about the ones that followed. Somewhat ironically, once Shego knew that she had the freedom to go somewhere as long as she left word, she felt less inclined to do so. In addition, Drakken appeared to take pity on her and assigned her a few errands during his absences. She was pathetically eager to have something to fill the empty hours.
During these days, she gave up trying to puzzle out her feelings for Dr. D and turned instead to trying to figure out how he felt about her. She realized that her own inclinations didn't matter much if he didn't feel the same way, and speculating about him provided a certain distance that she found much more comfortable than facing her own emotions.
When Shego thought back over their association, it was hard to know how Drakken viewed her. Over the years, there had been times when he'd displayed a sort of distracted affection, like preparing meals that she liked or covering her with that blanket the other day. Unfortunately, she had no way of assigning meaning to these things beyond what simple friendship might dictate.
He was not particularly protective of her, but then, she would have thought less of him if he had been. He had hired her primarily for her specialized fighting skills, after all, so it would have been ridiculous for him to try to interfere with her doing her job.
Reaching a dead end, she found that she had no choice but to again dredge up memories of the day when the Moodulator had influenced her. She didn't think he'd been completely resistant to her overtures. He had seemed a bit uncomfortable with the situation, certainly, but given her overall bizarre behavior at the time, that didn't really surprise her. On the other hand, she vaguely remembered having to threaten him to convince him take her out on the down, which wasn't promising.
Oddly enough, the clearest memory Shego had of the whole ordeal was when she'd tackled Drakken in the photo booth. He'd frozen up initially, but she was quite sure he was responsive after that, if a little tentative.
Then again, what did that prove, except that he was human? What lonely bachelor wouldn't respond when a hot woman initiated a make-out session? For the first time in nearly a decade, purely physical attraction was not really what she was after, and she had no idea how to search for anything deeper.
Eventually, Shego gave up trying to think things through on her own and decided to observe him instead. Unfortunately, she didn't quite know what she was looking for. Having never been in what she would call a real relationship, she wasn't positive what the signs would be. She was starting to wish she'd paid more attention in college – not to the classes, but to the interactions among her fellow students. Certainly, she'd studied psychology, but her degree had focused on children. Although Drakken could be childish at times, he was grown man, and she doubted that conventional psychoanalytical techniques would be very effective on an evil mastermind in any case.
So the weeks passed with the pair of them circling one another like prizefighters at the beginning of a match, assessing strengths and searching for weaknesses. About four weeks after his injury, Drakken removed his cast, and Shego was surprised to find that the bone appeared to be completely mended. Only then did he reveal the capabilities he had built into his invention. At that point, plans for their removal and Drakken's next scheme picked up considerably. Dr. D fleshed out diagrams and prepared lists, and the two of them went together to "liberate" key things that he needed. Finally, he announced their moving day and gave each of them a set of tasks to accomplish.
On the day before the move, Shego was out late to steal a few small items while Drakken finished up most of the packing. When she returned to the lair, everything was quiet. Out of habit, she moved stealthily through the shadows, alert for any sign of danger. She slowly opened the door to his room and saw the lumpy shape on the bed. She waited for her eyes to adjust to the dimness and verified that the shape was moving in a regular breathing pattern. Satisfied, she was just about to exit when Drakken rolled over.
"Love you…Shego," he murmured in his sleep.
Shego froze to the spot, momentarily paralyzed by indecision. While this was information she'd been seeking for weeks, her impulse for much longer than that had been to flee when things like this happened, and she had to fight through that instinct in order to think clearly. What was she supposed to do? What should she say? How should she act?
Gradually, the panic receded, and her heartbeat and breathing patterns returned to normal. There was no need for her to do anything. Dr. D was fast asleep. He would have no recollection of having said those words, and he certainly wouldn't be aware that she'd heard them. This was, in fact, the best possible situation for Shego. She knew how he felt about her, but he didn't know how she felt about him. For that matter, neither did she.
Regardless, all of the power was in her hands now, which was exactly the way she liked it. She had time to figure things out, and she could address it when she was sure.
Allowing herself a moment of weakness, she crept to Drakken's side, bent over him, and pressed her lips briefly to his forehead. She then straightened, checked to make sure there was no mark to indicate what she'd done, and slipped silently out again. An uncharacteristically soft smile played over her lips as she shut the door.
Tomorrow, she would return to the comfort of denial.
End
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Author's Note: Maybe it's just me, but I thought Shego seemed a bit softer toward Drakken for the rest of the season. She was still sarcastic, but she seemed to be trying more to irritate than wound him.
Review responses:
Katsumara: Hee hee, yes. I could see Drakken being more in tune with his emotions than Shego is with hers; do you agree? He seemed much less in denial in Graduation than she was. I think Clothes Minded was shown out of order, but it was the next episode to feature these two, so that's where I placed it.
saragil: That might not have been exactly the kiss you were hoping for, but look for my next oneshot, What Now?, which should be posted in the next few days. You may find it more satisfying.
shadowgirl416: Um, how could they both be teenagers if they're 7 years apart? Wouldn't one have been only 12 when the other was 19? I could see how that might have been a problem. So I'm confused about that, but these marriages do still happen occasionally, and I hope you enjoyed the end of the story.
Pinky Jo Curlytail: Thanks. I've been writing teen relationships for years, so it's a nice change to have a pair of adults I can actually relate to. Yeah, I could see Drakken intentionally getting upset because Shego enjoys it, so I had to throw it in there.
automaticloveletter: I completely agree that Drakken would figure things out first.
PoisonousAngel: Well, there are downsides to having an older husband when his body starts to break down much sooner than yours. Still, it works for us. Thanks for reading!
kriitiko: I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'm sorry that it's over so soon, but this seemed like a good place to end it. I'm already almost done with a post-Graduation oneshot, and more might be coming later.
Spandy4Ever: Thank you very much! I'm glad you liked the Mardi Gras reference. I like to throw little things like that in to see if I can make people laugh. I've addressed most of the key points about "Mad Dogs and Aliens" already, so I hope you were able to enjoy the story anyway.
