Manda's Note: Wow. you guys are pretty damn persistant when it comes to DS, well will you all please keep that up so that they have no choice in the matter to make them endgame? You'll restore my hope (not that it's remotly faded) for my own favorite couple. As for writing more DS, hmm perhaps I do see that coming in the near future. my rewatching the seasons and pretending that 3 doesn't exists helps also. I'll see what I can get you all. For now, here is chapter 2, will additions to the original. Keep up the encuraging reviews, they get the chapters out ;)
"Baby, you gotta wake up. Serena come on, your gonna make us all late."
Dan whispered in her ear as he ran his hands along her sides trying to coax her from her deep sleep. Serena didn't want to hear it as she rolled over on her stomach and pull the blanket up over her head hiding underneath it. Like a child herself, Dan wouldn't have been able to say that he was surprised.
"Serena I can hear his footsteps, he's gonna be here to wake you up if you don't get up on your own."
Serena shifted again pulling the blanket off of her head and snuggling closer to her boyfriend still refusing to open her perfect blue-green eyes. She wasn't a morning person, she'd always done nights far better then she'd ever done mornings.
"You boys always ruining my sleep"
She mumbled into his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her torso and gently squeezed her. He'd been the morning person, it just so happened that the little boy in the house took right after the both of them, up early, bed late, the energizer bunny only needed few hours of sleep. He'd always been that way, Serena hoped for his sake, and possibly her own, he learned how to sleep more.
"I love you."
He smiled and kissed the tip of her nose making her smile and finally opened up her eyes to look at his face.
"I love you too Dan."
With their exchange of words the door of their bedroom suddenly banged open and in ran a very non hesitant little boy who was fully dressed to the best of his abilities, his jeans were on and unbuttoned and un zipped, his little Yankees jersey was completely unbuttoned and the shirt underneath it didn't even close to match. It would have been one of the many moments Blair would have shaken her head at her nephew and said he only belonged to Dan rather then Serena.
"And you love me!"
The four and a half year old insisted as he bounced up and down on his parents' bed like he's been up for hours. Dan reached out a hand straightening the sideways cap as Jamie crashed down right on top of the both of them.
"I don't know about that Jamie. That's not so true"
Serena shook her head playfully as she moved out of the way so that Jamie was lying on his back in the middle of the two of the, Dan and Serena now both on their sides. Watching the little boy as he poked both of their noses and smiled his sweet little smile regardless of what his mother had just said. Jamie knew better than most children that his parents loved him. They'd reminded him they did every chance they got, to the four and a half year old, it was smothering really.
"That's because you love me to the moon"
Jamie smiled as he copied something his mother always told him and pointed up to the sky as Dan laughed and pulled their son closer to him kissing his head. It was mornings like this that reminded both Serena and Dan that though things had turned out a little backwards they were just plain perfect.
Serena rolled over in her bed to put her head on yet another empty pillow, if she could have stayed asleep for hours more she would have. Because in her dreams Dan was always there, he was there to hold and kiss both her and Jamie. Jamie had the family he deserved. Serena just wished that when she opened her eyes it was all still there. She hated the idea that Dan was laying in a hospital bed across the city and he had been since the night of the accident. She hated that he didn't even know his own son, seen all of the things Serena had partly walked away from.
"Mommy?"
The bedroom door creaked open and Jamie peaked his head in rubbing his sleepy eyes, messy brown hair sticking up every which way. Everything about the little boy made her smile and cry at the same time. She wanted Dan to be there to share all of Jamie's moments with her. She hadn't wanted to do it alone, she wanted him to be there. There was already so much regarding their son that he'd missed.
"Come here baby"
Serena called over to him as she opened up the covers for him to climb in next to her. It was their morning ritual, Jamie would get out of bed and accompany Serena, brushing the sleep deprived tears from his mother's face and whispering, 'it's otay mommy, Daddy's gonna wake up soon', when Serena really thought about it it'd been a year or so since he'd whispered that to her. She was beginning to do better, she was going on with her life, something she'd never thought she'd be able to do.
Jamie crawled into the bed and snuggled up close next to her wrapping his little arms around her neck as he closed his eyes and held onto her. Holding him always made her remember what it'd been like in the beginning. Just how much she been ready the first time she laid eyes on him, just how much in the beginning she hadn't wanted a moment of any of it. it made her hold onto Jamie tighter, squeeze him and remember that she was lucky that she even had him. So many things had been touch and go in the beginning of it all. There'd been a time where he almost didn't exist. A time when she hadn't wanted him to exist.
"What are you thinking Serena?"
Dan's hand grabbed a hold of Serena's wrist the second they were alone in the nearly empty parking lot. Part of Serena wanted to grab a hold of him and cling for the rest of her life and the other part of him wanted to slap him hard right across the face. He was the reason she felt the way she did. He was the reason they were their together in the first place. If he'd just been a few moments later it would have been too late to go back on everything.
"How could you, How could you not even tell me?"
He let go of her wrist as they stood in the drizzle outside of the door of the clinic. He was so frustrated, angry, and hurt that she was just going to pretend like nothing had even happened. Dan walked away from her his hands over his ears as he walked into the falling sprinkles letting them try and mask his own salty tears making track marks down his face. He couldn't even look at her, he knew that if he did he'd never be able to keep his composure without pulling her tightly to his chest and whispering how much he loved her into her ear. That or shaking her senseless till she saw the mistakes she'd almost made.
"Why does it matter any to you."
She shot out and it was the first time he'd ever heard her sound like she meant something so harsh. Dan hung his head looking down at the dark side walk trying to keep himself from falling. How could she even say that he didn't care, that it didn't matter to him that she was pregnant with his child. He loved her, more than he was sure most people knew what the true definition of love was.
"What are you talking about Serena?"
Dan's voice was shakier then he would have liked it to have been as he ran a wet hand over his eyes to clear his face. He wasn't sure how long he'd be able to handle not raising his voice and telling her she was crazy.
She watched his every move; she'd been making the wrong decision since she'd walked through the door. She knew that. As Serena stood under the ledge of the building where he'd let go of her wrist she watched him in the rain. She could see his hand movements and she could tell how upset he was. But she wasn't going to let it go that easy. The last thing Serena wanted was to be all alone explaining to a child why 'daddy' wasn't around. She'd felt what it was like every time her mother had done it to her and Eric and she didn't want to turn into just another statistic.
Her arms were so tightly wrapped around her middle she hadn't even noticed it, how her hand rested so delicately atop. She didn't want to be at this place but she also didn't want to trust him, she was to afraid to put her heart and someone else's heart on the line if they were both doomed to just be smashed to pieces.
"Can you just get in the car Serena, I don't want to talk about this here."
Dan said as he walked to the first car in the parking lot, that's when it hit Serena exactly who had told him. The one who had been trying to stop her from making her mistake, and for that she was very mad at her mother, Lilly had no right to interfere. She was supposed to be doing this for her, what she was doing what for the good of the situation. The situation was nothing but a mistake and an accident that shouldn't have been in the first place.
"Mommy you's was doing it again"
Serena heard Jamie say as she once again pulled herself out of the haziness of sleep. Her eyes focused on his face and she could see the worry in Jamie's eyes. That was when she knew if she touched her own face she'd feel the tears dripping there. She'd been crying in her sleep again, she'd must of woken him up like she'd done so many times in the past. She felt bad that it was always Jamie who had to deal with her pain. Deal with the fact that she was only doing the best she could and she couldn't give him the childhood that he probably needed. It wasn't fair but it was all that Serena could manage on the strength that she had. So many times a day she wondered if she'd been right in the first place, wondered what the outcome would have been had Lily just kept her mouth shut and let Serena go through with what she'd wanted to. At least Dan wouldn't have been half alive. Those were the thoughts that made her feel like trash. How could she even think about any of it when the little boy was laying in her arms.
"Mommy? Come on mommy… you need to get up. Uncle Natie is taking me out today!"
His words weren't registering, she was lost in his face, studying his features, just like she did morning after morning. They both should have been used to the silence, both used to her staring at him. By this rate, he'd want to admit his mother to a mental asylum by the time he was ten. Chuck used to tell her that all the time. Right after the accident he'd even worried that she was turning into a mental case. Well, he hadn't been far off in his thoughts, she even thought she'd lost it, it had to count for something. At least Jamie didn't seem to bothered by any of it so far, at least he hadn't filed to live with anyone else just yet, that was still something she waited for. Everyone else left, she expected him to do the same thing. Regardless if he was her son she still won't have been remotely surprised. Everyone left eventually. Even Dan had showed that one. Serena knew it was her own mind that told her he'd left out of his own free will, she couldn't help it, it made her feel better then knowing it was her fault that he was laying in a coma. Knowing that she'd been the one to put him there.
"Please say something mommy"
Jamie whispered as he rolled on top of Serena and put his hands on the sides of her face mushing and squeezing it, attempting to get his mother to pay a little bit more attention then she had been so far in the morning. When the young blonde mother refused to notice him still Jamie poked his little finger in between her eyes. He'd seen it on animal planet plenty of times. The vet nearly always poked their non responsive animals to get them out of their daze. For some reason it wasn't helping his mother like he'd been hoping it would. She was still just looking at him as if she'd seen a ghost.
" Mommy! I wanna talk to Aunt V! Uncle Natie's gonna call her. Please mommy!"
The nearly five year old became more and more wrestles as Serena refused to respond to his pleas or come out of her daze. There were so many mornings that were the same, so many mornings spent with Serena looking at walls buried so deep in past memories. They sat in the utter silence for five more minutes, only the sound of their breathing between them. then Serena came out of her silence, a single tear dripping down her face as she reached her arms out and pulled Jamie to her. She wasn't sure just how much longer she'd be able to go on with things the way they were.
VivitheDSaddict- love your name lol, DS is pretty infuluncial aren't they? hope you like this chapter as well!
jeda09 - I'll be working on attepting to renew my DS support and write something new! promise
CJ- playing on empathy is my favorite emotion to target, it makes happy things that much more happy. The light at the end of the tunel for this one isn't all that far off
Erica- once again this is for and thanks to you
ronan03- well I promise there's a lot more where the first chapter and also this one came from :D
