Returning Home
Tarrant's POV
Tarrat Hightopp lay on the sofa in the den downstairs. The moon shone bright through the open window, lighting up the entire room in a silver glow. The singed top hat was placed carefully on the end table, near his feet. He stared at it, unable to feel any hint of sleep coming over him; the balmy summer weather usually makes it easier, but tonight his swirling thoughts were keeping him wide awake.
He wore a queer half-smile, and to a stranger, he would look quite mad.
What a funny day it had been for him. He had not expected Alice's arrival until later in the evening, when she appeared in the doorway he thought he'd only been imagining it, that maybe he had conjured her up from his many fantasies about her return.
When he had realized his mistake, he nearly took to Futterwacking on the very spot! She was real and she had come home at last.
It was the same Alice, but if possible, she was much…muchier, than ever before. Her eyes no longer seemed uncertain; they were steady pools of brown that reflected something deep and fiery…though he dare not think on that…He could begin to feel the dark and wild current rise in his chest.
He closed his eyes and steadied his breathing.
What a wonder she was. Nothing had ever before made him feel this unfamiliar, molten movement, which spread throughout his body. The darker side of him, he knew, was hellish and frightening. But this sensation was not full of anger or hate. It was a craving; some thirsting desire that had left him shaking after they had broken apart that afternoon.
It had not been the first time he had felt this heat from his thoughts. The dreams he had of her were always changing. Some were old memories of the time of the Red Queen, others were new images, of them dancing or walking through the forest.
Then there were the nights where he would wake up calling out her name, covered in sweat from flashes of her skin on his, and her breath fluttering against his neck-
…He needed another moment.
Closing his eyes once again, he pushed out the erotic images that floated seductively through his brain. He thought it shameful for him to think of his Alice this way. She was pure and virtuous, and he was tainted…and unworthy. His sudden shift in mood made him eager for sleep to come, snapping his eyes shut he rolled onto his side, shoving his face into the cushion of the sofa with a grunt.
She didn't think him a monster, he knew that much. It was obvious she cared for him, he was her dearest friend. His heart lightened a little at that. Though he hardly imagined friends would kiss one another the way he had kissed her. He absentmindedly touched his lips, reflecting on the events that had taken place only an hour ago.
Her exhaustion was never apparent that evening until she had collapsed at the table. The stubborn little thing had nearly made his heart stop! As he carried her to the bedroom he noticed how her body was warm and soft in his arms, she had felt so fragile. He'd done his best to keep his wild feelings at bay, but the way her hair had fallen angelically about her face, once he set her down, had erased all other thoughts. He'd been wondering about her lips for ages.
He had tried to recognize any sign that she might object, but she only gazed back at him. He decided that the risk was worth the reward. The touch of their lips had sent explosions through his brain, and he had to leave the room quickly. He had acted on impulse, and he was afraid he'd made a mistake. The Hightopps are gentleman, and kissing her without her consent made him feel guilty. But he could not find it in him to regret it, because he had longed for it so. He hoped she could find it in her heart to forgive his foolishness.
After she left he'd had much time to ponder on his feelings, and he discovered in her absence that he had fallen in love with Alice the instant he laid eyes on her, though at that moment he had not it known yet. At the moment of her small figure approaching he had sprang out of his seat in delight, stepping carelessly over the table to greet her. He was excited that she had returned to Underland, their reigning champion, now fully grown to defeat the Jabberwocky, and dethrone the Red Queen. He chuckled, his revenge had blinded him so.
The moment where she had given him hope in the Red Queen's castle was the moment he realized how much it would cost to lose her, how much she actually meant to him. He recalled the memory with perfect recollection:
He had been so caught up in his work he had forgotten all about Frabjous Day, and the wicked Queen he was working under. He was just about finished with his eleventh hat when Alice crept quietly through the door.
"They're wonderful", she said looking down at his creations, "You must let me try one on".
She had bent close to his face, and he tried to ignore the strange giddiness that arose from her compliments.
"It is good to be working at my trade again", and how good it had felt! After the Jabberwocky destroyed everything, demands for a hatter had been diminished. He had only worked alone, in his room where there was no one to appreciate his skill.
"Its just a pity you have to make them for her"
Alice's words had snapped him out of his blissful fog. He looked about the room confused, suddenly aware of his surroundings. He was disgusted with himself, how could he have gotten so caught up?
"What is the hatter with me?… Hatter?…m- matter…", where had his head gone? How could he not have realized... The horrid feelings overtook him then, swallowing him in darkness.
Shouting with rage he lashed out at anything closest to him, he wanted to destroy anything he had made for that evil creature, the woman who had destroyed his home and murdered his friends. He couldn't forgive his actions, and he thought he might try and bring the entire castle down with him when Alice caught him by the arm.
"Hatter!" Spinning him around, she grabbed his face and held it firmly in both hands. The feel of her touch had somehow calmed him, dragging him back to the surface. He was sure that he'd lost his marbles.
"Have you any idea why a raven is like a writing desk?" he had asked, scrambling to get a grip on himself, "I'm frightened Alice. I don't like it in here, its terribly crowded". He could see that she was frightened for him, and he wanted to pretend that he hadn't lost it for a moment, that he could shake it off, but he was afraid and so very ashamed of himself. What if he had finally reached his breaking point?
"Have I gone mad?" he was weary of her answer, he could never face Alice again if she thought he was off his rocker. He needed her confirmation that everything would be all right, that he would be all right.
She placed a hand on his forehead, he wanted to close his eyes and lean into her touch.
"I'm afraid so. You're entirely bonkers". His heart sank, but she wasn't finished.
"But I'll tell you a secret…all the best people are", she said smiling down at him.
In that second of time, before she removed her hands from his face, he saw her for what she really was: The most perfect being he had ever met, and the answer to what he'd been waiting for all this time. Alice was more than just Underland's path to salvation, she was his too. Everything had disappeared around them, and he could feel the poisonous rage that had been eating at him since that terrible day slowly drain from him, starting at his face where her hands lay, and seeping out from his entire body.
He now understood the feelings he'd been making excuses for, why every time she was near him all he wished for was her to stay close, and never leave his sight. People wanted her dead, and it shook him to his core.
All of the signs he was trying to ignore, all of the distracting feelings. They all pointed to one thing.
He was in love with Alice Kingsleigh, very deeply so, and he would never again be surer about something than this. The word "love" alone seemed unable to sum up this heavenly sensation. He imagined a silly image of the angels weeping around them. His smile was returning as she removed her hands.
It was only a moment, but it had felt like an eternity.
"Here", she placed his hat on his head, "that's better, you look yourself again". Everything was right in the world, the sky could have been falling down around them, and he could have gazed at her through it all, never breaking his stare. He wanted to-
"Hat man, where are my hats!? I'm not a patient woman!" the Queen was throwing another one of her fits. Though her head was gargantuous , he imagined she had such a tiny brain. He wanted to ignore her shouts, but he had a job to do, and his time was running out.
"I'm told she keeps the Vorpal Sword hidden in the castle. The Rabbit will help you. Find it Alice. Take it to the White Queen", he hoped she wouldn't argue, but this was Alice.
"We'll go to the White Queen together", she said fiercely.
He could have kissed her.
"Why is it that you're always too small, or too tall".
They smiled at each other, he had not meant to think aloud, and he wasn't sure if she had caught the insinuation of his words. He looked over at the ticking clock on the table, she must move quickly.
"You should hurry now", he said with urgency, and she nodded.
They hugged briefly and she made her way across the room. Looking back she gave him a wink, and he watched as her blonde curls whipped around the corner, the door closing behind her.
He was finally beginning to feel sleepy, his limbs like bags of sand. All of this thinking had made him quite exhausted. With his lips tingling at the memory of hers, he drifted into a deep sleep.
Alice's POV
The sun was filtering through the window and the birds were in full song when Alice cracked one eye open slowly. She lay on her stomach, arms wrapped around a pillow. She turned her head and buried her face, hiding from the sun. She had slept wonderfully, and she wasn't quite ready to leave the comfort of her warm bed.
There was a soft knock from the trap door, and she rose up on her elbows quickly, realizing she was definitely not in her bed, let alone in England. Yesterday had felt like a dream and the feeling of joy spread through her once again, as strong as ever.
"Good morning Tarrant, you can come in". As he pulled the stairs down Alice could hear glass tinkling. A tray with breakfast foods, and what she assumed of course was tea, appeared with Tarrant. She tried to control the blush beginning to rise on her cheeks. He had kissed her only hours ago. She wondered if he would try to again, and her stomach did flip-flops.
"Hello on this favorite morning of mine. Every morning could count as my favorite you know, but this morning seems to be outshining all of the previous", he set the silver tray on the side table, and took a seat next to her on the bed.
"Really Tarrant, this isn't necessary", she said as her stomach gave a loud growl.
She grabbed it and smiled sheepishly, "Well I suppose I have slept in a little late, and this looks delicious. But you can't wait on me too much, I'll start to get used to it".
"No trouble at all, I'm beginning to discover a few hidden talents as I dabble a little here and there in the kitchen. I hope you like it" he said as he handed her the tray. Alice smiled inwardly; she would have to have a little fun with him.
"Lets see…"
She studied the assortment of small pastries, sausages, fried eggs, fruits and sandwiches in mock seriousness. Alice gathered some sausage and egg with a fork and slowly took a bite; she chewed thoughtfully for a second and swallowed. Then very abruptly Alice dropped her fork and clutched at her throat, staring at him in horror.
He glared playfully at her, arms crossed. "I'm far too confident that my cooking skills have come a little further than that", he grabbed one of the smaller pillows and softly bounced it off the top of her head.
Laughing she picked her fork back up and began eating, "Its delicious, of course. Is there anything you haven't mastered yet?" she said with a mouth full of food. Being in the company of mostly men the last few years had taken a toll on her manners.
"Yes, timeliness. It seems though were running a little behind schedule, the carriage will be here in about an hour", he looked out the window squinting into the distance.
"An hour!?", she shouted choking on a bit of fruit. He nodded patting her back.
"But I look a fright, and I think I might look a little foolish popping out of the carriage after three years in my nightgown, wouldn't you think?", normally she could care less about her appearance, but she knew it would be exceeding rudeness to appear at her "welcoming" looking like a frizzy potato sack.
He turned and studied her for a moment. Then leaning towards her, he grabbed a stray piece of hair, tucked it behind her ear and smiled widely.
"Your perfect"
Her face must've turned several different shades of red. She grabbed her small cup of tea and downed it, ignoring the searing pain from the hot liquid.
"I have a few items that you could wear if you wish, here" he got up and opened the doors to a large wardrobe on the far side of the room "You can use anything you'd like", he said merrily. Stretching, she rose from the bed and went to investigate the clothing.
They created a suitable outfit together. Alice laughed at the Hatter's stuttered response when she explained that she'd needed a loose fitting shirt to fit her figure comfortably.
"That should do wonderfully, never have I created a more perfect cross-dresser", he said, circling her after she changed in the small bathroom, and looking very pleased with himself.
Alice looked in the mirror and giggled. She looked like a very pretty man. She had on a deep purple waistcoat with gold buttons over a white, long sleeve button up, and a pair of fitted black trousers.
"I think in another life I could have been a prince, I wear these clothes too well", she said jokingly.
"No one could mistake you for a boy Alice" he said seriously, "but here's a little feminine touch". He came back up behind her and placed the loveliest veiled hat on her head that she'd ever seen.
The black velvet contrasted beautifully with her blonde hair, and the lavender ribbons that wrapped around two black roses made her feel very much like a princess, not a prince. He pulled down the short, dark veil.
"Oh Hatter this is brilliant", she couldn't help but turn her head every which way, admiring its beauty.
"I made it for you, it's yours to keep, that is if you'll take it, if you like it. I don't believe in forcing hats upon the wearer unless they truly connect with it, and if I could be so bold to say you look absolutely stunning, smashing, snappy, superb, suave, sophisticatedly savvy-
"Hatter!" she interrupted him, halting his rant.
He smashed his lips together.
"I'm fine," he said hoarsely after a minute, nodding his head.
"Of course I like it, I think it's wonderful", she said in awe, returning to the mirror, "Do I really get to keep it?" she asked.
He nodded "yes" eagerly, keeping his mouth closed in case of another outburst.
They both turned towards the window as the sound of approaching horses drifted into the room. She instantly felt anxious, hoping there wasn't a large crowd awaiting her at the castle. She had missed everything about Underland, except all the unneeded attention.
Tarrant turned to Alice and offered her his arm with an excited grin.
"Shall we?"
