Muggle Studies Quotes2
Author: emptyfirefly
Summary: "Let us hope that we are all preceded in this world by a love story" – Don Snyder. Lily and James aren't suited, Lily and James don't work, but it is Lily and James that match muggle quote by muggle quote.
Rating: Really, the rating could be argued, but at the end of the day it's PG13 if you're comfortable with swearing and violence, M if you do. Figure it out yourself!
Warnings: Well, there'll be violence of a sorts, swearing of a lots, fluffy love… meh, I'm not offended!
Pairings: Well, Lily/James, Remus/OC, Sirius/OC, as far as I'm concerned Peter doesn't get a girlfriend… well maybe one… where was I?
Disclaimer: Uhm… I… uhm… sorry, what was that Dobby? I didn't create you? What about Sirius Black? No? What about TimTam? No, not the food you elf, the character! I did? Oh thank the Lord, I was freaking out there!
Ah, the next chapter in this beautiful saga, best of all; now I
can get into the whole "introducing Lily's crazy friends"
stage, which is always fun! Wish me luck, ya? Also, the quotes will
pop-up randomly, said by any character at anytime, the only reason
this story is called "Muggle Studies Quotes" is because I was in
a mood! Nyah!
Chapter Two. Proverb
God defend me from my friends; from my enemies I can defend myself.
Two days later, I'm sitting at the Ravenclaw table.
What? I know, the rest of Gryffindor is shocked too. Very shocked. But really, after what happened yesterday it's not that much of a shock. And how many times have I just said 'shock' exactly! Oh, only three, that's cool!
Okay, maybe I over-reacted, but like Hell am I going to sit at the same table as that PRAT!
Besides, both TimTam and Blaze are in Ravenclaw, so really I'm just choosing to sit with my friends… if only Carly had come along for the ride.
Stupid Potter.
Oh, I'm sorry, didn't I mention what happened? Well, get this: that little… twat's best friend, started dating MY BEST FRIEND!
I know, I was shocked too.
I could've sworn Carly had, you know, taste? But no, she is now Sirius Black's latest tongue-liaison.
Okay, that was a bit harsh, oh well, this is Black we're talking about here. He's started to advertise that he can guarantee that any girl that dates him will lose her virginity… I mean, hello? What is wrong with that weirdo!
Anyway, I probably would've dealt better if it weren't for the way Black informed me of the situation… go back to that time with me, yeah?
Flashback
I'm sitting there, minding my own business when Carly (and the crappy Marauders) stroll over to me. It so happens that it this stage it was morning, and as such I was happily nursing my fifth cup of coffee.
"Lils, could I talk to you for a second?" Carly just sat down next to me, pretending it was completely normal for the Malfunctions (a.k.a. Marauders) to be around.
"No. Too busy. Drinking Holy Drink. Also, did you notice that the Malfunctions are standing beside you?"
Okay, now, this may not seem like an especially significant statement to you: but between Carly and me it was everything.
Okay, a little something.
You see, we have this agreement: never call the M's the M word that we liked to call them for two reasons… 1) They'd get pissed off and annoy us, 2) It's our special thing, 3) I like coffee. (Okay, scratch the last one, though it makes it no less true.)
So calling them that in front of Carly meant two things (two is a magical number, btw) 1) I was upset about something, 2) I had had too much coffee and was no longer in control of my mouth.
"What did you just–"
"Shut up, Sirius." Carly cut off his statement faster than you can say 'Voldemort is here' (figure out the syllables and you'll find that it's possible!), in an attempt at damage control.
Sadly, it sort of made it worse.
"Wait, WHAT! What did you just call him?"
"Uhm… Sirius?"
Bingo. Carly had called Black by his first name. Black. Maybe their animosity wasn't quite as extreme as mine was with him, but they were certainly not on first name terms. This should have been a first clue, but alack, alack, I was too busy drinking coffee.
"Look Lily, there's something really important–"
Carly's second attempt was cut off by Potter taking one of the full coffee mugs sitting at my place at the table. This action was paused by me pulling my wand out and placing it in the middle of Potter's forehead.
"Put. That. Back."
My golden rule is that you can do anything, anything, and I won't pull a wand: except touch my coffee.
Suddenly everyone in the Great Hall stopped and stared, why was it that everything I did seemed to draw crowds recently?
Pettigrew leaned hesitantly out from behind Remus. "James, I think you should listen to the crazy lady."
Potter laughed, clearly not taking in the serious-ness of the situation. "What're you talking about Wormtail? It's not as if she'd actually do it!"
It was at that moment that TimTam and Blaze decided to come over and stand either side of me in case I decided to do something harsh.
"Seriously Potter she would, this is coffee we're talking about; she would kill for coffee… incidentally, how many cups have you had, Cyp?"
Yes, my nickname is Cyprium, as in the Latin word for copper. Yes, it is because of my copper-y-red hair. Yes, I have accepted it by now. We clear? Great!
"Five."
"Five? Bloody Hell! Why do you have wand between my eyes?"
"Because you're holding my sixth, Potter! Put it down and nobody gets hurt!"
"You're psycho!" Potter laughed, " That's the only answer! You are completely insane! No wonder you couldn't hold down Griffiths!"
Unsurprisingly I saw red, as did TimTam, Blaze and Carly (she needs a nickname, wait no, cause I'm currently not talking to her!).
"Why you little son of a bitch!" I was about to wave my wand when Remus caught hold of me, stopping the Circumcision Hex (yes it does exist, and yes I do know it, guys: cringe for me here) just in the nick of time.
I glanced around me to see that that Peter was restraining TimTam, only just, Frank Longbottom was restraining Blaze, and Black was restraining Carly, whispering in her ear what appeared to be calming words.
"Lily, let it go, this isn't you: this is the coffee talking."
I grinned at Remus, and relaxed, willing to let this one comment go rather than stage a fight with Remus in the Great Hall.
"But don't you get it Rem? I am the coffee!"
The others let it go too, TimTam easily stepping away from Peter, and Blaze giving Frank a quick slap for copping a feel (only a small one, besides this is suave Frank we're talking about here: if he will, he will). Meanwhile Sirius still had his arms around Carly and was still talking to her, although she was clearly calm.
"Hey, Black, take your hands off MY best friend!" I snapped, still sore in spite of everything.
"No Evans, I think I'll keep my hands ON MY girlfriend!"
There was a pause as the entire Great Hall blinked (in unison, it was a beautiful thing), staring at Carly, who had gone deeply red, and me, who was steadily going red for a slightly different reason.
"You're… what?"
"That's why I came over… to erhm… tell you?"
Now, Carly is no chicken, but she looked more than a little worried about what was going on here; having now carefully removed herself from Black's shudder embrace. Black seemed to find her action irrelevant though, and just put his hand on the small of her back.
It was probably that familiar action that let the floodgates open. Only, with less tears… more with the yelling, with the anger, and the forgetting about coffee for a whole second.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING! You're dating him? Are you nuts? Tell me the truth; are you actually Snape in disguise trying to freak me out?"
There was an annoyed 'hey' from the Slytherin table, but most of us ignored it.
"Cyp, it's not that bigger deal, you don't need it freak out! It's only Black!"
"Exactly! It's Black! Black who has made our school lives a misery from day one! How can you stand to be within touching distance of him, let alone have his arms around you!"
"Hey, now, I'm not that bad!" Black's exclamation for pity was silenced by a glare from Carly and myself.
"Cyp, calm down, you're acting like this is the end of the world!"
"It is for me!" We'd matched each other, bellow for bellow, until that last statement: which managed to pause the entire Great Hall (again! For Merlin's sake!).
"Lily–" Carly's plead for intelligence, for fairness, was cut-short.
"Without a doubt, Black is the person who has single-most managed to make my life meaningless. You know that. But now you're standing there, like this isn't the end of my world! Like my best friend dating this… monster, isn't the end of my world."
I shook my head and laughed without humour, my words no longer bellowed, but full of confusion and restrained anger. I put my coffee down, and began to walk out of the Great Hall, as I passed the pair I whispered the last thing I ever wanted to say to either of them: "God defend me from my friends; from my enemies I can defend myself."
I whirled around and sent the Stinging Hex at Potter, before storming out of the Hall; ignoring the cheers and McGonagall's outraged "Detention!".
My best friend had just committed the ultimate betrayal.
So, yeah, that's the story. Are you as pissed as I am?
I'd managed to avoid the pair for a whole day, with some petty nifty dodging on my part I might add, spending most of my time either with TimTam and Blaze, or with Tim Griffiths and his pals (yes, I prefer my ex, sign of how pissed off I am much?). Carly is doing similar, splitting her time between and TimTam and Blaze, and the Malfunctions. But, as I keep assuring myself, and those around me, I don't care what that betraying cow does as long as I have nothing to do with it.
I'm sitting here, carefully nursing my third cup of coffee; plotting the great capture of my fourth since TimTam is watching my coffee intake, when Potter suddenly slides onto the Ravenclaw bench next to me.
What the Hell?
I stare at him as he reaches out and takes one of the rolls and begins to butter it, appearing to be completely unaware of my shock.
"Are you lost?" My shock allows me to do nothing other than burst out this short sentence.
"Hmm?" Potter drags his eyes away from his roll to stare at me.
"I said: are you lost? You do realize the Gryffindoor table is over there… right?" I gesticulate to the table housing three shocked Marauders and an entire house worth of betrayed-looking fans.
"Funny, I was going to ask you the same thing." Potter shoots me a frustrating grin and I groan, choosing to use this moment to conveniently pull a fourth cup of coffee over to myself.
Unfortunately my keepers are more aware than they look (thank goodness for that!).
"Oi! Cyp, put that back!"
Okay, I admit it, I'm addicted to coffee. I slowly push the cup back, ignoring Potter's inane chuckling. Honestly, if there is a God I don't see why he put me with these people. It's not fair!
"So, Cyp, what's with the nickname?" Potter's done giggling like a school-girl and is back to being an annoying know-it-all.
I glare at him, carefully ignoring how close he is leaning towards me, oh and his fans that are looking about ready to lunge. "None of your business, Jamsie-Pie."
There is a pause as he decides whether or not to take the bait, but apparently he thinks he's matured since yesterday, because instead his expression turns quite serious.
"When are you going to start talking to Carly again?"
My expression matches his, "How about never? Or perhaps when she comes grovelling back admitting that she was wrong and should never have betrayed me in this fashion… it really depends on which comes first."
Potter stares at me for a moment longer before he turns back to his breakfast, "I heard what you said to them before you threw that hex at me: makes me wonder what the big deal is." He pauses and decides to just say what he's thinking; I really wish he wouldn't, "Have you got a crush on Sirius or something?"
Pfthtphtthhhhhhhhhhpfat
I attempt to clean up the spray of coffee that I have showered all the food and people sitting across from me with.
"Sorry, TimTam, sorry Blaze!" I toss them a couple of napkins and stand up; in all the confusion and screaming of people being covered with boiling hot liquid, this seems to be the perfect chance to get out of this conversation.
I make my quick-escape from the hall, ignoring the uproar I've left at both the Ravenclaw and Gryffindoor tables, Slytherin seem pretty non-plussed, and the Hufflepuff are trying to help who they can.
Just as I reach the doors Potter catches up with me and jumps in my way, completely blocking my path.
"Is that what it is then, Lily? You have a thing for Sirius?"
I roll my eyes at the stupid claim, but don't answer: answering would mean I would have to explain my position, and I really don't wanna do that.
"Let me through Potter, I'm not in the mood."
"Then just tell me EVANS; that way when your 'best friend' is crying because you won't talk to her at least I can tell her why!"
Okay, now I'm pissed: since when is Potter Protector Of All Things Carly?
"Sounds more like you're the one who has a crush on Carly to me! What? Couldn't get the girl so now you'll comfort her in her hour of need!"
Potter's hand itches towards his wand and mine does the same, but neither of us draws.
"Just tell me what the problem is Evans and I'll get out of your vapid, stupid, hair."
"Shut up Potter, this isn't your problem!"
"Just tell me then!"
"No! Leave me be!"
"What's this? Evans itching to be all on her lonesome once more?"
"Your insults suck!"
"I'm just looking out for my friend!"
"As am I! Black is bad news, and Carly knows that!"
"And what exactly do you have to base this bigoted opinion on? His family?"
"No! I'm not that stupid!"
"Then what?"
"It–"
"What?"
"He's a bad person, who does horrible things to innocent bystanders and expects others to laugh at the results! He…"
Help me! Please, somebody help!
Darkness… cold… drips… nothingness…
I pause and shudder, my voice losing some control. "He hurts good people, and Carly is a good person, so I don't want her being his next 'Prank Victim"."
Potter looks shocked at the strength of my opinion, but nods his head; he's found out what he wants to. Without another word or look he quietly walks back over to his friends and I go to the library.
Why does it feel like I've exposed my deepest darkest secret?
Ah, so, the plot thickens! I think I should make some sidenotes though…
1) No, Sirius is not evil; I love Sirius, funny or serious (da dum ch). So, no SIRIUS IS NOT EVIL! He just did something very stupid, and Lily is unforgiving.
2) Lily the coffee addict. Now, you may think this is somewhat unrealistic: a 16-year-old witch being addicted to coffee to that extent. Well, the thing is I do know people who crave coffee in the mornings, and are really quite weird after their third. Okay, maybe they won't necessarily pull a wand on someone and attempt to castrate them, but boy do they come close!
Next time one Muggle Study Quotes:
"What are you talking about? The heir of what?"
"I'm sorry, but I suppose it's too late now."
