Dear Readers,
I am sincerely sorry for my lack of updates. This chapter is just a stepping stone for longer more important events to come. It may be short, but soon there will be a slew of longer chapters. Please be aware that this is a very intense story written for more mature readers.
Yours Truly,
!-VR-!
Chapter 14:
Mastering Self Destruction
His lips set me a flame and sent waves of intense burning pain throughout what little pieces of a soul I had, but although every second was agonizing it wasn't because this was a stranger. It was because I've always wanted this, to be kissed as if I was the last meaningful thing in this chaotic war-filled world. This mirror image of the only person who tried in my life was pouring something into me through his mouth that was far greater than any words that could ever exist.
It was almost unbearable to look into his distraught eyes as I pulled away. A different shade of defeat and pain I had never seen before stormed in him, as if there stood the most tortured and beaten man on the planet, but that was partially his downfall. Despite any kind of situation's circumstances Warren never showed his pain, no matter how hurt or upset. He was after all bred into pure rage and dark depression.
This was a truly broken man, but it wasn't the man I needed.
And because of that one sign of defeat it sealed the deal, I needed to leave him especially in one piece. Honestly I would have stayed the night with him and given him every inch of me and my soul, but the hollowness of my heart groaned for one person. This constant ache made me more human than any other part.
I could feel absent tears rolling down my face as I whispered, "Close your eyes."
Soft kisses dotted his jaw line and crept across his neck, up to his cheekbones, and across his eyelids. When I came to his lips, I hovered for a moment and couldn't help, but say one last thing "Dream for me," and as my lips pressed his slightly I sent him off across the river of sleep. His body made a thud as he collapsed backward onto the floor and I quickly and silently re-packed my luggage.
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It felt as though I had lost already and in a way I did.
Everything was coming full circle life, death, and my own self destruction. I had somewhere to go, but then again I had nowhere. My own mind swallowed actions that showed lack of faith and hope in the world and myself. Giving up is the choice I wanted, to go into the woods of that horrible rainy state and shoot myself in the head.
But why take the easy way out?
After I died, my brother would have most likely followed suit after being tortured and maimed by the faceless psychos that I brought into his life and most of all . . . I would have never found out what Warren really thought. He started becoming a distant light in this perilous journey, dimming into the background of the night.
After leaving the hotel I drove to a gas station and waited, feeling as if my being was dulling, until morning. Time was an issue and I knew it was running out. A new phase was starting and I backed out of the station with a melancholy appearance, but inside I was screaming and yelling in terror to run away. Greyherdt's was calling.
It was time.
