Muggle Studies Quotes4
Author: emptyfirefly
Summary: "Let us hope that we are all preceded in this world by a love story" – Don Snyder. Lily and James aren't suited, Lily and James don't work, but it is Lily and James that match, muggle quote by muggle quote.
Rating: Really, the rating could be argued, but at the end of the day it's PG13 if you're comfortable with swearing and violence, M if you're not. Figure it out yourself!
Warnings: Well, there'll be violence of a sorts, swearing of a lots and I mean seriously she starts swearing a lot more this chapter, fluffy love… meh, I'm not offended! Why are you?
Pairings: Well, Lily/James, Sirius/OC, as far as I'm concerned Peter doesn't get a girlfriend… well maybe one… where was I?
Disclaimer: I. Own. Nothing. Seriously, how desperate do you think I am…? That much? The shocked faces and lab coats, and edging forward is probably a bad sign… DAMN YOU J.K!!!!
I know it's been a while, I've been slowly working to figure
out what I want to happen next… it's difficult! And in reference
to that question I posed last time… and the one reviewer who
answered… coincidentally they are now my GOD!! I love you Freja Lercke-Falkenbord (luv the name btw)!! Anyway,
so Remus isn't gonna get a girlfriend, so this isn't gonna be one
of those three gryffs/three Marauder's fics! Also, you may notice
that I changed what year the characters are in, they used to be in
6th, now they're 7th. I did this because I thought it over, and I
needed the characters to be older than 16… so now that's changed!
Chapter Four. Ani DiFranco
Love is a piano dropped from a four story building, you were at the wrong place at the wrong time.
The rumours spread faster than I anticipated. It's like everyone is just holding out for some juicy information about other people so that they can discuss other people cause their own lives are so boring or something!!!!
Okay, I'm a bit annoyed, as you can probably can tell.
Well, here's why: 1) everyone in school thinks me and Sirius are involved cause we're not worst enemies anymore, 2) Carly isn't speaking to me because of this new development… when in actual fact it's just cause we are lazy and can't solve out differences! So nyah! Oh, and 3) ever since the rumour started that Griffiths is the heir of SOMETHING, it's impossible to hang out with him.
People are stupid.
Oh, and I'm currently stuck in a study period with Sirius, Potter, Carly, and I'm-Head-Girl-But-Also-A-Dumb-Whoring-Bimbo… AKA Gabby.
That's right! Why the Hell aren't I Head Girl? I'm smarter, more interesting, less vapid. Oh and here's the clincher!!! I care about any duties I'm given more than sucking someone's face off.
Wow, I'm bitter and twisted right now aren't I?
"So, Lily, how do you feel about the perverted love-triangle we've got going here?" Sirius asks, grinning wider than… something that grins widely.
I just roll my eyes, "Oh, it's a kick, I'm planning to add Griffiths into the equation though. You know, make it a love-square!"
I.H.G.B.A.A.D.W.B… okay, fine, Gabby, shrieks with shock and actually pulls away from Potter for a second. "OHMYGOSH! Like, really? I knew that there was something going on with you and Griffiths! How megarly hot is he? And so mysterious! Has anyone figured out what he's the heir of yet? I bet it's something really glamorous!"
Did she even take a breath there? No wonder she and James have been down for ten minutes! The girl doesn't even breath!! And was that even the end of a sentence? She just left it hanging there… why is she Head Girl? What Dumbledore on? Happy pills? No, wait, demented pills! No, wait, something even more disturbing and weird for a man of his age!
I settle for a subtle non-committal answer. "Megarly isn't a word."
Carly snorts from next to me and I feel that old bond… pity she… you know… betrayed me. Pity I'm so dramatic too.
"Isn't it? Weird! Anyway, what is going on between you and him? I mean, you guys are always together–"
"Yeah, like right now." Potter chuckles quietly to himself… no, more like sniggers.
"– and he's always asking if we've seen you, and he TOTALLY checks you out whenever he gets the chance!"
Sirius perks up, though in my opinion he was too perked in the first place, "Yeah Lils! What's up with you and Griffiths?!"
I groan quietly, why can't these people get a life? "Why can't you people get a life? I dated him, I dumped his arse, and now I'm sitting here trying to do my homework! End of story!"
"Wow, bitter much?" Gabby snickers into Potter's neck.
BITTER? Oh, boy, I'll show her bitter!! I notice that Carly shifts uneasily away from me: like she thinks I'm going to explode.
"Wow, vapid whore much?"
Gabby makes a shocked noise, and looks expectantly at the blokes at our table, probably expecting them to leap up in her defence. Sirius shrugs and turns his attention to Carly, and James just smothers a laugh.
Weird, I was expecting him to try to shift the spotlight to himself. How strange.
Gabby leaps up off of James and stands beside my chair, "Something you wanna say, Evans?"
I turn to her, annoyed that she is disrupting my work, but glad to have an excuse to snap at her. "I'm fairly certain I just said it!"
I look past her to see Griffiths walk into the room, and I'm disgusted to say that my heart jumps slightly. I probably know why, but I really don't wanna think about it.
"You're just jealous!" she smirks triumphantly at me, like this is some sort of revelation.
I stare at Griffiths Head Boy badge, and then I stare at her Head Girl badge. Why do I feel less worthy just because they have a pair of stupid badges? Duh, of course I'm jealous!
"Of course I'm jealous!! You're Head Girl, and you did absolutely nothing to deserve it! You just strut around with this amazing symbol attached to you, and you don't even care! Of course I'm JEALOUS!"
Griffiths comes closer and puts a hand on my back, "Come on Evans; don't bother. You can come sit with us if you want."
Now I'm sorry, but did he just put some extra oomph, into the word 'us'. What's wrong with sitting where I am now? Granted, I hate all of them, and they're all annoying… but who's to say that Griffiths friends are better? They're all ponces with absolutely no sense of humour, why would I want to concentrate during a study period? And how dare he be so frigging patronizing? And handsome, it's indecent that one guy can look tha-
Oh fuck no, you're kidding me.
I have a crush on my ex. I have a crush on the Head Boy. I have a crush on someone who is the hottest topic in this stupid school. I have a crush on someone who's parents are so big time, that walking near him puts a dangerous spotlight on you.
What am I? Deficient?! After last summer you'd think I'd learn not to be stupid, but NO! Clearly I have learnt nothing.
Oh shit, I've been standing here reasoning with myself for too long, everyone's staring at me with fear. Carly seems to get it, but Gabby seems to think she's somehow won.
"Well, if everyone's done yelling now, maybe we should keep the noise down. You, see, as Head Girl it's my responsibility to make sure everything runs well in this school."
She smiles victoriously at me, winks at Griffiths, and sits back down on James's lap.
Whatever, stupid whore.
Wow, I'm swearing much worse than usual.
I give Griffiths a slightly blushing nod and sit back down at my table. Just at that moment Professor Slughorn comes in and we all resume our work. Anything but have to talk to that weirdo.
This is driving me insane! Grrrr!! I can't sleep, metaphorically, can't eat, metaphorically, can't do anything but think about Griffiths, once again not quite literally.
It's not like he's that great, I mean, I broke up with him for a reason! Granted I don't really remember what it was, but there was one!
Dammit, now even my potato salad doesn't taste quite right. I have to push it away, I can't seem to drum up an appetite for cold potatoes.
Oh great, and now Carly has noticed that I'm not eating and she's staring at me. Maybe if I accuse her of being in love with me in front of everyone, she'll quit it.
Or maybe I could just bitch slap her.
Oh crap, she's moved to sit next to me, clearly she hasn't quite given up the mantle of caring friend yet.
"Lily, why haven't you been eating?"
I clench my jaw slightly: I hate meddlers. "Because I've decided that it's wrong to raise living things just so we can eat them. I'm rescuing the vegetables, starting with potatoes." I sort of, jump out of my chair, thrusting my plate in the air. "FREEDOM FOREVER!!!"
Most of the Hall laughs, while Carly just taps her fingers impatiently. Apparently she's not part of the movement.
"Lily, can you tell me why you keep staring at Griffiths?"
I snap my head back to her: I'd forgotten how smart she is when it comes to reading people. Why won't she just leave me alone?
I look over at Griffiths again, just in time to see Gabby sit down on his lap, and snog him.
Just in time.
That stupid bitch.
What about James? I look over at him and he looks… well, not pissed, and definitely not heartbroken, just sort of uninterested. Why can't he be unhappy about this? Cause Lord knows I don't have the right to complain.
Fuck. My eyes are watering, not cause I'm crying, it's those fricken onions! Damn you onions, damn you, damn onions, damn stupid onions, making me look like I'm crying, damn onions, I hate onions, I hate them, damn onions, damn Griffiths, making me want to cry, damn him, I hate him, I hate her… how could I be so stupid? Falling for your ex, could I get anymore sadomasochistic?
Everyone's wolf-whistling them, and he's… God, he's deepening the kiss. Public decency people! Has no one heard of this? How is this school going to get through this year when the Head Girl and Boy are snogging idiots?
Carly grabs hold of my arm and drags me out of the hall. From the looks on everyone's faces they just think we're off to fight about something, again, so nobody notices.
"Let me go, Merlin Carly, are you PMS-ing or something?"
Carly sighs and forces me to sit down in the middle of one of the switching staircases. "Yes, but that's beside the point."
"I'm sorry and what was the point of this whole thing? To drag me around, until you get tired?"
Carly sighs again and sits down next to me, "I know you think I'm Public Enemy #1, but contrary to popular belief I don't want you hurt. I saw you were upset, so I got you out of there."
It's my turn to sigh, and then start to tremble slightly, I don't want to talk to her particularly, but she appears to be he best option. "I feel like such a fool. I broke up with the best guy I know, and I don't even remember why! And now just when I start liking him again, he starts snogging that whore of a Head Girl we have! I am so… disappointed with myself for being this stupid."
She shakes her head slightly, "Only you could manage to forget that sort of stuff. Griffiths was being an arsehole to you. He was ordering you around, treating you like a child. How can you not remember?"
It's coming back to me, slowly, faintly.
"One time he even told you what to eat for dinner, said you were getting fat."
Oh yeah, I remember that, why that smug bastard!! Except this doesn't feel much better, now instead of just liking an ex, I've re-developed a crush on an arsehole!
"That doesn't make me feel much better, I'm just in love with an arsehole. What was I thinking?"
Carly grinned, a sad tinge developing on her face as she ran her hand along the step next to her. "Love is a piano dropped from a four story building, you were at the wrong place at the wrong time."
I grin as well, what a precise description! But it fades as I look closer at her and realize she's thinking as much about her predicament as she is mine.
"So you love him then."
She blinks, like she's somehow shocked that I would pick it up. "Yeah... Shit, what can I say, Cyp? It was horrible! There I was talking to Sirius Black of all people! And I liked it! My best friend's ultimate enemy was making me laugh, making me care, and all I could think about was whether or not he actually meant it. And then you found out, and you wouldn't speak to me, not that I could explain anyway, and then–"
Jesus, is she still talking? Is she ever going to stop? I get it already, why can't she just stop talking or something, it would so much simpler. Oh right, maybe I should actually say something.
"Stop talking Carly, for Gods sakes, you're giving me a headache!"
She stops, finally, and smiles sheepishly. "Cyp–"
"No talking!"
"But, Cyp–"
"NO!!! No talking whatsoever! I need to say something"
"Listen to me–"
"No, you're giving me a splitter here! Let me just say this!"
"GODDAMMIT, CYP–"
"I'M SORRY!"
"I'M SORRY!"
Of course, that's when we pack up laughing and go back into the Great Hall. With Carly back, maybe, juts maybe, the Heir of Hell won't matter so much anymore.
Oh, and maybe pigs will fly.
Holy crap, did you just see that?
Sigh, another chapter, sorry it took me so long! Anyway, give me some comments if you want! Or, you know, don't, sob! Anyway, I've gotta go dream up the next chapter now, bysie!
Next Time of Muggle Studies Quotes:
"They're dead, they're all just… dead."
"Mr Potter, Miss Evans, there's a reason why I chose not to make you this year's Head Boy and Girl."
