Yay! Another chapter! Alice gets pranked again! And in this particular chapter, Gil even has a line to say! Sharon has more than one, and so does Oz. Emily also speaks up! Finally!

I don't own Pandora Hearts, or else it would be more of a comedy!


P. U. Rabbit

Alice had finished her lunch. Oz had watched amazed as she devoured the entire dish of meat without a single pause. That was Alice, alright. What he didn't know was that the strongly flavoured meat had special sauce, prepared by a certain someone who wanted certain revenge against a certain chain. But Oz didn't know this, and neither did Alice.

Now that Alice had finished, she went to Oz. Chain hunting time! But when she had sat down next to him on the couch, she realized that something was wrong. But she didn't know what it was. So Alice, being Alice, asked Oz. That is, without considering that she had intruded on anyone's privacy or touched any sore subjects.

'Why are you making that face, Oz?'

'Uh, it's nothing, Alice,' Oz lied. He was making a face that suggested Alice was talking about cockroach dung. Or that he had just watched her eating cockroach dung. 'Look, I have to do something with uncle Oscar, you know, spend some time together, I did lose ten years…'

'Hmph. Whatever.' Alice did feel that she had done something wrong, but she couldn't think why. Maybe Oz was grossed out by her eating habits? Sharon did say that her dining manners were very un-ladylike.


Alice sighed. So far, everyone had run away from her. She didn't look sick, she had checked several times already. She wasn't sick. Could she even get sick? She was a Chain, after all. Were they running away because she was a Chain? No, because the servants who made themselves scarce when she approached didn't even know that she was a Chain. So why was everybody avoiding her?

Ding dong!

Alice looked up from the carpet she had been glaring at. If there were guests, Oz or Seaweed or at least some human being would greet them. So she could probably sneak in amongst them and force someone to tell her what was wrong with her.

As she stealthily crept down the stairs, keeping in the shadows, she heard voices talking. Very familiar voices…

'Oho, Milady, stay away from Lord Oscar, he's a naughty one!'

'Break! You're never going to let me off what happened at Latowidge, are you?'

'None of those young ladies would, so why should I?'

Oh great. It's him. Even if that isn't his voice, and if Oscar hadn't shouted his name, the way he's making fun of Oscar is proof enough. Alice decided that if something was really wrong about her, then she didn't want the clown to find out. But just as she turned around to hide in her room…

'Oi! Stupid rabbit! Where are you heading off to? Overheard what Break said 'bout Oscar, eh? Eehehehe!'

'Emily! Tut tut! Hitting two birds with one stone now, are you?'

Alice took a deep breath, and proceeded to march down the stairs. Even if she was about to hand Break a joke on a platter, she was going to do it her tough B-Rabbit way. 'Emily's still a bit purple, isn't it? Or maybe you just can't see with that hair of yours!'

'Little sister! How are you?' Sharon Rainsworth squealed. She hugged Alice, and Alice growled at her. Then, something much unexpected happened.

Sharon let go, retreating behind Break. In fact, she had backed right up to the door, with a paper fan in her hand. But the fan was being used to…well fan. It was as though she was surrounded by a cloud of poisonous gas. At least, her expression suggested as much.

'Lady Sharon!'

'Milady?'

After a few gulps of fresh air, Sharon fired a question at Alice. 'What have you been eating?'

'Meat.' That evil aura seemed to make the fan look like a dangerous weapon…

Oz cleared his throat, and started miming something. Break tapped Sharon on the shoulder and pointed. After some whispered discussion among them, Sharon nodded and turned back to Alice.

'Alice, have people been avoiding you?' Alice nodded.

Sharon took a moment to gather up her courage, and then… 'Alice, you have bad breath. Very bad.'

Alice noted that Sharon was still trying to use her fan to whip up a tornado. 'What's bad breath, big sister Sharon?'

At this, Break decided to join the conversation, his voice muffled by a large coat sleeve. 'It's when you eat something bad and you breath becomes so obnoxiously foul smelling that most people can't stand to talk to you, Miss Alice!'

'Stinky and foul! Stinky and foul!' chanted Emily from his shoulder. Even the doll was pinching its nonexistent nose with one blue hand.

Angry, Alice looked at Oz, hoping that the clown was wrong. But Oz nodded silently, mimicking Emily's gesture. Desperate, Alice turned to Raven.

'Iz true, stubid wabbit.' The seaweed head was squeezing his nose that his words came out funny. This meant that it was probably serious.

Running towards any source of drinkable water, the brunette could only think of one person. Break.


Dinner at the Bezarius household was relatively peaceful without the B-Rabbit. No one was accused of being a seaweed head, and with no argument to start with, neither Break nor Emily had anything to work on. Ada freely sat next to and hugged Oz, happy that she could finally spend some time with her brother without school, the matter of crushes or her life being threatened. And Ada didn't throw a fit of anger every time Sharon talked to her about romance, dresses or tea.

As for Alice, well, her craving for meat seemed to have turned into a craving to wash her mouth. Break had recommended a change of diet - namely sweets and cakes – to replace the stench with something "sweeter". Alice had not agreed. She had also slammed the door in his grinning face.

People walking past her door late at night reported gurgling and spitting noises, and those who were taking a moonlit stroll could sometimes feel the sprinkle of rain…or a face full of garlic scented water.


The next few days, Alice sniffed her food before eating it. Although Raven called her "some filthy beast" – which was pretty light, compared to what Break said – and she got more lectures from Sharon than ever, she didn't care.

You ain't gonna get me any time soon. She thought angrily. But you better watch out, cuz I'm gonna get you back!

And looking up from his plate of cake, her opponent smiled. Then, he carefully sliced out a small piece of cake, gracefully and deliberately brought it up to his nose, and inhaled deeply. The Hatter grinned. And Alice ground her teeth.


How was that chapter? Garlic breath…I really am running out of ideas. Help? I want this story to at least have ten chapters, after all. PLZ Review! And I don't like this ending…if nobody else likes it, I will change it.