Helplessly Outraged
She couldn't help it. She wasn't sure why it felt so cold to her. It was a beautiful night. And it was only the beginning of summer. But the chill was unbearable to her. Usually she didn't mind. But, after the day's earlier encounters, she was unusually numb and cold. She couldn't think. She couldn't feel. It was odd, it wasn't normal—
Someone was coming. Better hide all traces of emotions quick. Why would they show anyway? She'd spent years of meditation to keep all emotions away. So they shouldn't be here now. Yeah, she was just thinking. Thinking wasn't an emotion, right?
"Raven?" Great. Just what she needed. Grass stain to come plummeting into her thoughts and alone time. Then again, she had suddenly disappeared from dinner at the pizza place without a single word, let alone a trace or hint as to where she was going. Normally she'd go to her room, but tonight she found herself absentmindedly walking along the edge of the island Titan Tower sat upon.
She heard the crunching of rocks beneath feet come closer to her. She closed her eyes tightly, acting as if she hadn't heard him, and kept walking. She made sure her hood was still intact over her head, and pulled her cloak tighter around her.
"Raven? Are you okay? You just disappeared. What happened?" She still refused to respond. "Raven, what's wrong with you? Hello? Earth to Raven? Are you even listening to me?"
Without looking back, she used her powers to levitate a rock behind her just in time to have Beast Boy trip over it. She heard him gasp in shock as he fell. Guilt was starting to overcome her now. She knew he didn't deserve to be treated like he was because of her own problems and stubbornness.
But at the same time he did. He, along with the rest of the team, had let in someone who might try and kill them in their sleep with open arms.
The crunching was back. Apparently he saved himself enough so that he could recover and return to following her. He was a good 5 or more feet behind her. She planned on keeping it that way.
Unfortunately, the stars weren't on her side for that request. His footsteps sped up as he caught up to her. He was now walking beside her. Curse him for being so stubborn. Why couldn't he accept the fact she didn't want to be bothered by him and just go away?
Suddenly she was staring in those bright green eyes that belonged to the person most annoying to her. His hands were placed firmly on her shoulders, stopping her from continuing to walk. She could've easily pushed him aside, or even levitated him into the water. But she was too stunned by his bold move to even think about those tasks. Her eyes were wide with shock, and his were narrowed slightly with suspicion.
"What is going on with you? You've been overly moody since Terra came back. Why? I mean, it's only you. You're the only one on the team that still hasn't forgiven her. Why can't you just forgive and forget already? I mean, we were all having a great time out eating pizza, and you just disappear!"
He was once again pressing his luck. What made him automatically assume she'd left because of that girl? Raven's life certainly didn't revolve around the trader.
She threw his hands off of her shoulders with her powers, and pulled her hood back up so it covered her face, since the wind blew it down. She did not like getting the third degree one bit. Least of all from Beast Boy. She figured she'd ask the question she'd just asked herself. "What makes you automatically assume my life revolves around her?" Her voice was its usual monotone, and her eyes were their usual blank stares. "Just because she comes back doesn't mean my emotions go out of control just because of her. Nothing in my life will ever revolve around her, and nothing in my life will ever consider her."
"That's the thing Raven! You keep denying it! Why can't you just admit that you have no reason to hate her, and forget everything she's done?"
She narrowed her eyes slightly. "Because it would be foolish and pointless to forget the time she tried to kill me and my friends. You, along with everybody else, are too blind to see through all her phony acts. She's played them once, and you all just don't want to accept it. Especially you. I get that you once fell head over heels for her, but if she denied you once, what makes you think she won't do everything all over again? That's your problem, not mine, but consider it. You only wanted her back on the team so you guys could return to whatever you guys had before, so you refuse to accept any possible second betrayal there might be in store for us all."
"Really? Okay, if I'm so blind for those reasons, explain the rest of the team," he demanded.
"Starfire was excited and please her friend was well and back, Cyborg accepted because she wasn't rigged with anything Slade related, and Robin for many reason. She would make a great asset with her powers and all, Cyborg didn't find any bad connections on her, Starfire was excited and wanted her back, and over top all, how would it look to everybody, even people throughout the world, saw that the leader of the Teen Titans turned down and once close friend, and teammate? Did you ever think about any of that?"
Beast Boy hesitated. He knew she had some points, but he was far from allowing himself to admit it. Raven knew this too, but she refused to say anything until he responded. She didn't have to wait long.
With that defiant look still on his face, he replied rather harshly. "Whatever. You what's your excuse? Huh? Do you not want her back only because of the past? That's why they call it that! They past! It means it happened, and you're supposed to forget it!"
"You're also supposed to learn from it. I, unlike some people, chose to learn from it, rather than blow it all away like it never happened." Not once had her voice risen from its usual tone during the whole fight. She was rather proud of herself for keeping so calm during a fight with Beast Boy, especially one about Terra.
Beast Boy let out a frustrated sound. "No! Stop saying that! You're not looking out for the greater good, or whatever you want to call it! You're just jealous! So just admit it already and leave!"
Raven's eyes widened at this. Her? Jealous? Of Terra? Yeah, sure. "Excuse me?"
"You heard me! Jealous. You're just jealous she's a better Titan than you! She might've betrayed us once, but she's done a whole lot more good in her life than you! You once ended the world! And who had to go behind you and try and clean up the pieces? Us."
She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Of all the nerve he had…. "You think that I, of all people, am jealous of her? Listen to yourself, Beast Boy."
"You have no reason to hate her! You're just jealous that she chose her path where you, in the end, almost were, and will be the cause of everyone's death!"
She couldn't believe what she was hearing. But she kept as calm as she could, still never once losing control. She closed her eyes and swallowed down the urge to do something rash. When she opened her eyes she spoke. "Terra had a choice. I didn't. Terra was born a blonde with earth-moving powers. I was born a girl who was destined for horrible things. Terra was born something good that could do good. I was born a girl who was born to do unspeakable things. And what happened? Terra did the unthinkable. I tried to save lives. Think before you try and compare me to her next time, okay?"
He let out another frustrated sound. He was mad, Raven could easily tell. Good. Maybe he'd finally realize what she was trying to tell him.
"Stop saying you aren't different from her! You're exactly the same! You both were made one way and did the opposite! You both made mistakes! Stop acting like she's some sort of contagious disease, Raven! Because you're just the same! And that means you must be some sort of contagious disease if she's one! If you're not going to accept someone because they are different and made mistakes, and you want the rest of the Titans to do the same, maybe we shouldn't accept you anymore! Maybe you should leave the Titans for good!"
She almost stumbled backwards at his words. She hadn't expected Beast Boy to ever say things so harsh to anybody, ever. She was started to let a small amount of anger seep through her walls. She couldn't help it. "You're lucky I ever joined the Titans. If I hadn't, you'd be dead along with the rest of the world."
"You'd like that wouldn't you? Because then you wouldn't have to hear about all the amazingly good things Terra's done that were bigger than you fighting stupid bad guys!"
She was about to respond when he hit her with another jealousy crack.
"You wouldn't have to worry about being so jealous of her all the time because she and the world wouldn't be alive! You wouldn't have to worry about being jealous because even though she once tried to kill us, everybody still likes her more than they like you!"
She wanted to respond, but the words just wouldn't come out. Any normal girl would've probably cried, but Raven wasn't normal, per say. She was the violet haired girl with no visible emotions. She stared at him, stared into his pretty much hate filled eyes. He was mad. She knew it. It was too obvious. Anyone more than a mile from where they were standing could've seen it.
She slowly shook her head, slowly turned her back to him and started walking away just to hear his angry words shot at her again.
"Where are you going?"
She kept walking. "I'm leaving." She was sure she'd heard the last of his words for the time being, but she was once again wrong.
"Good. Leave so Terra can take your place that rightfully belongs to her!"
"I meant I was leaving to the tower." As she lifted her feet off the ground and into the hair, she heard him say something to the effect of her always disappearing to her room and how useless she could be. She ignored him. She'd had enough of him and his nonsense.
***
Finally. She was in the quiet safety of her room. Just in time, too. Outside her window it was raining. Raven hoped Beast Boy got locked outside in it.
She knew she wasn't the type of girl who got fairytale endings, and she wasn't the type of girl who wanted one. But she just couldn't believe how much of a fool she was just made out to be. It made her mad, and before she lost it, she knew she needed to calm down.
She went into her state of meditation, but moments later they were interrupted. This time not by a person, but by her own memories.
.
*
She stared at the blonde as she was bombarded by all four of her friends. As they all walked back to the tower, Raven stood back, shocked that the rest of the team would welcome in a complete stranger they'd just met. Something didn't seem right.
*
She looked up from the pool of mud she'd been thrown into. It covered her from head to toe. She glared at the blonde before her, promising herself that she'd end the girl. She'd betrayed the team, broken her friend's heart, and was now trying to finish them all off. It enraged her to no extent. She—
Oh no…she'd let her emotions go too far. The stupid little blonde had gotten to her…no! She hadn't! And she wouldn't!
It was too late for that decision now. As she tried finishing off Terra, her emotions overcame her, and pulled her down. The last thing she saw before drowning in the mud was the sneering face of the girl she'd sooner or later destroy with her own bare hands, even if it meant being thrown off the team. She didn't care. She'd get her revenge.
*
They were all fighting off what they called 'The Creature'. All of them except for Beast Boy that was. By time he showed up to help, he didn't look to be in the best of moods. They got the job done, sure, but later that night he explained to them how he'd found Terra and she'd denied everything of her past.
Raven showed no emotion on her face and said nothing. But secretly her heart went out to the heartbroken green changeling. Just like herself, he'd trusted somebody with everything he'd had just to be betrayed and heartbroken in the end. She knew almost exactly how he felt.
She wanted to tell him this, but decided against it. Instead, she once again kept quiet and only awkwardly told him that everything would be okay
Her eyes popped open to find herself on the floor. She'd fallen from her meditation, obviously. Her eyes narrowed and for some reason she was suddenly in a defensive fighting stance. She'd been betrayed so many times in her life, and she still never got the revenge she'd promised herself she would. No, the stupid stone head blonde had given her life to save the world (Yeah, the team come close to doing that on a regular basis. Big whoop.) and had turned to literal stone.
And now she was back, pretty much better than ever I guess you'd say, and she living under the same roof…again!
Raven couldn't take it. Her team hadn't listened to a word she'd said. And here she was feeling sorry for herself? No! Never! She was here trying to keep her cool before she walked out and trampled the trader with everything she had.
She closed her eyes tight, and the next thing she knew, her mirror was shattered. Her eyes popped open, and she knew she had to get out of here before something bad happened to her friends, or anybody else. She had to get out of here, and fast,
***
A/N- okay, so I know this chapter was probably a little confusing but oh well. Lol. Next Chapter should be up soon.
