Me: I'm so sorry it took me so long to update!

Hidan: Yeah right! You've been out shopping again! What the hell do you need all this shit for anyways!? * kicks a random shoe on the floor *

Me: What! You want me to go running around the house without any clothes?! You're a sick pedophile! You're WAYYYYYY too old for me! You're fucking IMMORTAL!

Hidan: I didn't mean it in that fucking way! I'm just saying, you have a WHOLE fucking closet full of fucking clothes!

Me: Those clothes are so last month! Anyway, YOU wouldn't understand since you're a fucking guy who's against shopping! I wish you were gay! You'd understand me much more then!

Hidan: I'd rather be gay than understand your sick and twisted fucking mind!

Me: My mind isn't that twisted...... Well, not as twisted as your mind!

Hidan: I'm a priest, so that means my mind is fucking pure and innocent you heathen!

Me: So.............. you're a virgin? I mean, priests are supposed to be virgins, right?

Hidan: I didn't say I was a fucking virgin! And IF I was, and I'm saying IF, it's not like you aren't a fucking virgin too!

Me: Awwww....... Poor Hidan! You've never gotten laid! I mean you've been alive longer than vampires. And it's O.K. For me to be a virgin, I mean I'm only 14 ½!

Hidan: * cries manly tears * There's nothing wrong with being a fucking virgin!

Me: I'm so sorry Hidan-kun! Please don't cry! I'm so sorry! It's positively normal for a man your age to be a virgin!

Hidan: You'll never fucking understand what it's like to be a virgin at this fucking age! I want my fucking mommy back!

Me: Ummmm........ You kinda killed your mom......

Hidan: WAHHH~~~!!!!! No one in this shitty world understands me!

Me: It's O.K. Hidan! I'm sure Edward Cullens is a virgin too! He's immortal you know!

Hidan: Why must the only person that's fucking like me be that PRETTY BOY! WAHHH~~!!!

Me: * pats Hidan on back * It's O.K. , it's O.K.......... Just let it all out.

Voice Inside My Head: What a cry baby....

Me: Shut up! It's perfectly normal for a grown man to cry for his mommy!

Hidan: W-W-Who a-are y-y-you f-f-f-fucking t-talking to?

Me: It's nothing Hidan..... Just go back to your crying...

Hidan: O.K..... * cries, sobs, and anything else that involves water coming out of your eyes *

Me: Tobi, disclaimer please!

Tobi: Hai! TobiIsSoBadAss does not own Naruto because if she did she would make Hidan a sissy and his fan girls wouldn't approve of it.

Me: You know it's weird, we started out talking about shopping, then ended up talking about Hidan's virginity.....

Sakura: That is kinda weird....

Me: Where did you come from!

Sakura: Nobody knows....

Me: O.K then..... NOW ONWARD WITH THE STORY!

Hidan: What about me!?

Me: You can go cut yourself in the emo corner if you want.......

Hidan: Hell Ya!

Me: Now, BEGIN!

Tobi: Should we do a recap first BadAss-sama?

Me: That's probably a good idea!

Recap:

"Tobi!" Sakura cried in a field of flowers as they ran to eachother.

"Saku-chan!"

"Tobi!"

"Saku-chan!"

"Tobi!"

"Saku-chan!"

"Tobi!"

"Saku-chan!"

"Stop it before we have a Lee and Gai moment!"

"Woah...... Totally out of character Itachi........" Sakura said as she let go of Tobi.

"He just has a problem with pedophile moments, so he hates being reminded of Lee's and Gai's relationship." said Kisame popping out of nowhere.

"Why (yeah)?!" asked everyone but Tobi.

"He's had a bad experience with the history teacher, Orochimaru." replied Kisame

"How?" asked Sakura.

"Itachi, tell them." told Kisame.

"Well, it all started when........"

End of Recap

Skittles Make Love Happen

Chapter 4

"Well it all started when I moved here and attracted a lot of girls' attention." Itachi explained.

"What does that have to do with anything, yeah?" asked Deidara

"Well, the rest is too painful for me to say so I'll let Kisame f-finish i-i-it." said Itachi all teary eyed.

"O.K. Itachi." said Kisame.

"You see, some guys got jelouse and decided to pull a prank on him. Itachi never knew they would go this far. It was never meant to happen! The guys just wanted to teach him a lesson, but he got more than he deserved." said Kisame while shivering.

"Then what happened Kisame-sempai?" asked a scared little Tobi.

"They invited Itachi to their little gang, but with one condition...." Kisame started.

"What happened to poor Weasel-kun!?" asked Sakura.

"He had to play 7 minutes in heaven with Orochimaru........." Kisame finished.

"AHHHHHHHHH (YEAH)!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed everyone, but Itachi since he was too busy talking to himself in the EMO CORNER and Sakura since she had a question for him.

"So....... Is Itachi still a virgin?" asked Sakura.

"What do you mean?" askes Sasori.

"Well, he had to play 7 minutes in heaven, so he can't be a virgin!" she accused.

"Why wouldn't he be a virgin after witnessing Orochimaru's SICK imitation of Super Man and role playing as Mary Jane?" asked Kisame.

( AUTHER'S NOTE: SORRY IF I GOT SUPER MAN'S GIRLFRIEND WRONG! I JUST FORGOT WHAT HER NAME WAS AND IS TOO MUCH OF A LAZYASS TO LOOK IT UP SO YOUR EITHER O.K. WITH IT OR NOT 'CAUSE I DON'T REALLY CARE RIGHT NOW. NOW, BACK TO THE STORY! )

"Oh........ So that's what happened in the closet!" Sakura said.

"What do you think fucking happened?" asked Hidan.

"Oh nothing........ But wait, how is Orochimaru in a Super Man suit scary?" asked Sakura.

"Ya, how IS it scary, yeah?" asked Deidara.

"How would you feel if a pedophile made you roleplay as his girlfriend while he was in his underwear!?" yelled/asked Kisame.

"Wait, did Itachi have to wear a dress?" asked Sakura.

"Yes..... With a skirt too!" answered Kisame.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (YEAH)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" yelled everyone....... again.

"Poor Weasel-kun!" squeeled Sakura as she patted him on the back.

"Don't worry I feel your pain! I've been molested before..." she said.

"WHAT (YEAH)!" yelled Deidara, Sasori, and Hidan.

"Who molested you Sakura?!" asked the guys whos names are right above this sentence.

"Haven't you guys been listening to me when I was ranting on about Hidan!?" she asked.

"He's molested you Saku-chan? What does molest mean? Tobi wants to know!" said, well, Tobi.

"I'll tell you when you're older, O.K. Honey?" said Sakura.

"O.K. Sweetie!" Tobi replied.

Since Tobi and Sakura were too busy thinking of cute names for each other they didn't notice Hidan being dragged by Sasori and Deidara to the supply closet and didn't hear the screaming from the closet.

In The Supply Closet

"NOOOOOO!!!!! WHY BARNEY WHY!!!!!! YOU WERE MY HERO!!!!" screamed Hidan.

( AUTHER'S NOTE: JUST SO YOU KNOW, HIDAN WAS A MAMA'S BOY WHEN HE WAS YOUNGER AND HE ALWAYS SANG THE BARNEY SONG TO HER SO BARNEY BECAME HIS HERO FOR CREATING THE SONG. NOW, ON WITH THE STORY! )

Hidan was tied to a chair and was forced to watch a fan made video that showed Barney and Elmo making love to each other.

"This is fun, yeah." said Deidara.

"I know." replied Sasori.

Me: I already have chapter 5! I just need 5 reviews! I don't care which chapter it's from, I just want fucking reviews!

Hidan: I have gotten over what you said to me earlier. * opens up arms waiting for a hug *

Me: WTF! Hidan has gone SOFT! You actualy WANT to HUG!?!?!?

Hidan: I HAVEN'T GONE SOFT YOU FUCKING BITCH! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU! ARE YOU RETARDED OR SOMETHING!? I AM THE AWESOME HIDAN WOULD NEVER, AND I MEAN NEVER, GO ANYWHERE CLOSE TO FUCKING SOFT!

Me: YAY! MY FOUL-MOUTHED, JASHIN LOVING, AND JERKY HIDAN IS BACK! I never liked the soft you! * tackles in bear hug *

Hidan: GET OFF ME YOU DAM BITCH!

Me: It really IS you!

Hidan: Kids, please don't try this at home, unless you have annoying fan girls that always cling to you. * grabs a wrench out of nowhere and tries to pry me off*

Me: OWWW!!! YOU FUCKING CUT MY ARM YOU HEATHEN!

Hidan: NOT MY FUCKING FAULT! IT'S YOUR FAULT FOR HUGGING ME!

Me: Let's just get this over with!

Hidan: FUCKING FINE!

Me: FUCKING FINE TO YOU TOO! SAY GOOD-BYE EVERYONE! AND ITACHI, THREATEN THE REVIEWERS SINCE HIDAN HERE IS A BIG JERKY FACE!

Itachi: Hn. Review or die.

Whole Cast: Good-bye everyone! See you all next time!