PAM:
I probably shouldn't have said anything.
Maybe she's really offended. Maybe she's never gonna talk to me again.
Oh, that is bullcrap! I'm actually not sorry I said something. I am NOT sorry.
She had it coming. Come on! There are a lot of hints that pointed to that direction: she is flirting with me. Or is she not?
God! What if i"m wrong? Did I just make a complete idiot out myself? And not just any idiot, a sexually agressive, woman-eater idiot?
Those are all adjectives that I never thought would be attached to my name. Little Pam, so innocent always.
Well, maybe I'm changing! I may have been innocent before, but I know there is such a thing as girl/girl relationships. And I'm sorry, but Karen has been acting really weird towards me. And yes, it was bothering me to the point that I actually googled some of the things that were happening. The whole "hot and cold" thing, first I ignore you, then I'm rude, then I ignore you, then I speak to you two inches away from your face, then I ignore you again. And what came up in Google is the basic rules of flirting. So, either she WAS flirting with me, or she actually does hate me. But, she actually SAID she doesn't hate me, remember? In the bathroom. Two inches from my face. When our faces were so close that I was uncomfortable.
Soooo, if she doesn't hate me, then she IS flirting with me.
And I'm sorry, but it's starting to confuse me, so I;d rather she'd just be honest and say it.
Of course, I have no idea what I would do if she just confessed to it. In fact, when I just asked her if she likes me, I had no idea what I was gonna say if she said yes. I suppose I would have to explain that I don't date girls and I'm not interested.
Yeah, I guess I would say that. Definitely.
I mean, I'm not gonna just start something with her...I'm not gonna be doing that, am I? This is not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about Karen, not about me. For some reason, I'm taking this in a very personal way. I'm kind of determined to prove that she likes me. Because I like being right. And because I want to see if my instincts are correct. And because it is kind of flattering that such a gorgeous woman could notice me. What? Oh, yeah, I said she was gorgeous, but i didn't mean it THAT way. I am n...I am not interested. She's the one who's interested. I think.
Am I being a bitch? Sorry, I don't want to be one. I've just been thinking about this lately and I know I'm right!
It was sweet of her to hold me, yes. It felt very, very nice. I almost forgot that I was supposed to be uncomfortable. Maybe I just like being held, or maybe there is something really different about the way she held me. She smelled so good, and her hands are very soft. Way softer than Roy's. But Roy never held me like that. It was just different. Yeah, I almost fell asleep for real.
But then I started thinking about Jim in the next room, and how weird would it be tomorrow morning if it turns out that I spent the night sleeping on Karen's lap, and that highlighted the fact that she WAS in there with me, instead of in bed with HIM. Why in the world would she do that? I thought it was pretty revealing, what she did. You don't stay up at night with some stranger you're not interested in, if your partner is waiting.I wouldn't be stroking Meredith's hair to put her to sleep, for example, if Karen was waiting for me in the bedroom.
WAIT! What did I just say?
DId I say Karen waiting in the bedroom?
I meant Roy. I mean, I meant Jim. Or like, a guy. Some boyfriend, my boyfriend.
I didn't mean Karen, I don't see her THAT way. It's not like a partner thing. Sh-she's not my girlfriend or anything.
Okay, I'm glad we are CLEAR about that.
Back to my original thoughts...I wonder if I could SEDUCE her.
How do you seduce a girl?
