Tsuna looked over at the blank wall next to him and took a deep breath to repress the panic. His throat clogged up with emotion. The nightmares seem to follow him into this space; or maybe this where they originated. He smothered a sob with his hand and let the tears leak from his eyes. He wished he could apologize to those he was going to hurt by this. But in the end this could only benefit him right?
Right? He let his thoughts ring and bounce off the walls. His wet tears dripped onto the wall next to him. He was breaking. And he had to break because that's what it takes to get his world revolving again. He felt his knees weaken but the wall in front of him caught him.
He was trapped like an angel had fallen on him and strapped him down. He was alone. He let a scream of terror lose and felt his body shiver. His large cardigan doing nothing to warm his cooled bones.
He was not going to make it through.
Then he heard it, a voice.
'You need to be calm, your making me hurt as well.' Tsuna straightened up and chocked on a sob trying to relax.
'I'm trying, but why does it hurt so bad.'
'We all have our crosses to bear. Yours just seems to be heavier than others. Yet it is only you who can break it.' like a blow to his chest Tsuna felt the cracks loosen again.
Follow me into the recesses of my mind.
No, no, no, no. let me remain closed, I don't see anything. I can't feel anything.
..
You're not going to fall into your leadership this way.
'I know, I know.' another sob. Another hour.
Shamal felt useless as he grasped at his hair. Then groaned as he looked at Tsuna's health status.
Shouchi and Spanner were huddled over a monitor tortured glances glued to the massacre of the mind of their leader.
Why must the good suffer?
He groaned again as he saw Tsuna's heart stall ...again. Another sob was ripped from the boys throat and spoken through the microphone.
To see the mighty bow their head was truly terrifying. This was a mistake, he might be strong enough to break the curse, but at what cost.
Tsuna grasped at the walls with his fingers scratching to find a way out. Devoid of a sense of self he continued his frenzied search. He felt his fingertips finally bleed. The smell of his own humanity somehow relaxing him. Reminding him of what he truly is, a monster. A monster with a home and an obligation.
He paused to look around him; his mind paused and slowly asked, is this what it feels like to die?
Tell me what's the way to be,
what's the way to go,
tell me why I feel so low.
He pounded on the door again. He felt his flame draining out of him, the sensation of having it rip from his soul as it was filtered to another who needs it more. Isn't this the way it always is for me. Giving and getting nothing but pain in return.
I hope you love me after you've seen what I've done.
Another sob another hour.
He heard the bell from the clock he kept in his room and looked up. Then darkness took over. After a minute he sees it, he's inside a room. Neat and orderly except for a corner darkness lies within collecting dust, waiting for its hour.
The Tenth hour.
Danger will follow me anywhere I go.
Heal me please.
