I am SO SO SO SO sorry for not having time to update this story. it is one of my favourites but i was starting to get unsure if i should post it or not because it really shows my writing...branching out. i've had many many many debates with myself if i should change the rating (because i believe it starts to swirve between the line of Teen and mature) but it doesnt really have one or the other. so to play it safe i changed the rating to M, that also lets me branch out if i choose to do so (season 3 ep 2 on tonight!)

i hope this chapter shows more of Jessica's personality. i intended her to come out someone shy yet when the moment strikes a girl who isnt afraid to fight back. and that she is in fact...a teenager. And as such a teenager who lives with vampires she had to express some form of rebellion, no matter how small it might be. let me know what you think of this chapter, it takes place before the events of season 1.


I rested my arms against the glass bar, watching the crowd as it flowed around me. I still had no idea why I had allowed myself to be dragged into Fangtasia, I hadn't even wanted to be here in the first place. The dim lights and the vampire crowd made me uneasy but I had promised a friend. Though that said friend who had wanted a girl's night out was now dancing with a vampire in the back of the dance floor. Mental note: NEVER agree to a girls night out in a vampire bar when you know your friend's a loveable fangbanger. Godric is going to kill me. Ok so I hadn't told my guardian I was going to a bar…at least he knew the general area. Besides nineteen was supposed to be the rebel age! Yeah I'm pretty sure if I have to reassure myself that running from Dallas was a good thing, then it probably wasn't a good idea.

Uneasiness settled around me, I could feel the eyes that burned into my back. I couldn't turn around. I shouldn't turn around. Turning my head slightly I checked the faces of the vampires and fang bangers as they danced. Nothing. Turning farther around I kept searching, until my eyes laid to rest on him. My breath hitched as I found the burning eyes. The blonde vampire's eyes held still on mine, neither of us moving as I made eye contact. I could feel the red rushing into my cheeks causing me to quickly look away, turning fully around to stare at my simple glass of water.

I knew he was still looking but I couldn't bring myself to look back. Busted. I felt Amy tap my shoulder as she sat beside me at the bar looking incredibly smitten as she was staring unwaveringly at the same man I had just been trying to hide my eyes from.

"mhm Eric Northman, sex god of all man kind," licking her lips she ignored me, as I avoided her eyes. Sex god or not, the man was still staring. "oohh, he's looking at me, I should offer myself," rolling my eyes I watched as she smiled seductively with a small wave. She was truly much more confident then I was. I few minutes later she actually squealed one of those crazy fangirl screams (almost the same after a really mind blowing kiss but about ten times louder, ten times higher pitch and probably a million times more weird to hear). Sparing a glance to the side to look at her she was now grabbing my arm and shaking me.

"Wha-what?" I asked uncertainly as she continued a less higher pitch scream. Unfortunately I could see the female bouncer moving closer towards us; it didn't feel right. The other half of me was hoping she was wrong, jealousy curling around my heart crushing it of any hope to be with the gorgeous man…I think I was going crazy. The bouncer, Pam, had made it by where we sat at the bar, gesturing my friend towards her, my friend agreeing without a second thought. Crap.

As my friend smiled and walked away from me I could sense the air behind me. The rush of wind as vampire speed took over and the hands now working my hair to one side. Yup, Eric Northman, my…what was he to me? That question was extremely hard to answer.

"Jessica, how did you get in?" his voice held amusement as I continued to face the other way. Shrugging my shoulders as a response I felt his amusement inside of me. Cursed blood connections. "mm, remind me to reprimand whosever at the front door for allowing underage humans inside," his voice like silk. His hands were cold but nice on my waist. His kisses were enticing on my neck. Crap. "My office. Now" the seduction was replaced by anger.

"Aye, Aye Captain" I stood, nodding my head towards the bartender in thanks before making my way to the office. My brown dress swayed as I made my way through the crowd and into the room. Sitting myself in the chair behind the desk I snuggled into the worn out chair as I waited. He entered then. His blonde hair framed his face. He made no mention to the fact I had taken his chair but instead leaned against the desk in front of me.

"Does Godric know you're here?" his voice held annoyance but something else was mixed within it. Lust? Longing? L-no, the word was to be avoided. We both used the word for Godric but for each other, never. Blinking a few times I felt like a light bulb lit up over my head. Slipping my right foot out of my high-heeled sandal I slowly ran the pad of my foot up his leg. Torture. Defiantly another emotion was filling him as he stood still. Vampire still. No blinking, no emotion but what was emanating from our bond.

"I want to say yes," never breaking eye contact I continued my foot dangerously close to him. "But you'd just yell at me for lying," watching as he finally moved. His hand gripped my heel, studying the two-day-old tattoo. 'Eric' in cursive across the ankle. A blush started to creep in as he studied it. Though his mind still held in the previous conversation.

"You didn't tell him?" his voice still emotionless as he began to trace the name with his nail. It wasn't meant to be personal; it had felt right especially since Godric's name was written across my wrist. It was only fair, wasn't it?

"I just didn't tell him when I'd get here" I waved my arm in the air to emphases 'here'. Which was true. I just didn't mention the whole go visit a friend before hand part. Would Godric kill me?

"Call him now" he stopped his tracing to let my foot rest back on his thigh before moving to grab his cell phone. Handing it to me. Silently I took the offer but made no move to dial as he continued tracing my ankle. "Remind me to inform Godric that he has forgotten to give you a cell phone" his voice held a hint of annoyance now. This caused anger to rise inside of me.

Before I was able to shut myself up, I gave an exasperated sigh. "Don't get all 'ggrr' on me because your staff sucks!" pulling my ankle from his lax grip I frowned, replacing my foot into the sandal.

"ggrr?" he raised his eyebrow as I moved to stand; fixing my dress. Asshole. Giving him the best death glare. I was ready. Though it was a little nerve wracking as I stood at about 5'6 in heels. His good day was over 6" allowing him to still loom over me with his jackass smirk, asshole haircut and his delicious body. Mental note: try not to be attracted to Eric when in the middle of an argument.

"Yeah…like when you go all fangy on me" I frowned, as the smirk never left his face. That earth-shattering smirk was stunning.

"Fangy?" now his voice just held an air of amusement. Pulling me closer by my wrists, I was dragged up against his body. Face planted into his chest, making my arms wrap around him. Glaring into his shirt I tried to ignore the hands the caressed the back of my head.

"Oh my fucking god. Why don't you understand anything?" my voice came out as if a child was whining to an older sibling. Frustration weaved into every syllable as he continued to message my head. "Godric always understands and he's like a million times older then you are" this caused him to stop his menstruations. Letting me go he pushed me at a far distance. Uh oh. I took the warning gesture and stepped as far back to the window as I possibly could.

"I know!" his growl came out. His animal instincts were taking over. I then realized I shouldn't have worn my hair down. Mental note re-write for the fifth time: always wear hair up around Eric. Whenever he was angry and his animal side came out, hair up always meant easier access and less pain by forced fangs. Plus hair down meant scent was obvious.

"Obviously you know!" I growled back the best I could as I searched for something, anything I could get my hands on to pull up my hair. Searching frantically I spotted the Chinese food that I hadn't even noticed that had been brought in. slowly edging my way I didn't break eye contact with the animal before me. "You're just asshole Eric. The one who forced me into the world of vampires!" taking another few steps I felt his cold blue eyes still watching me. "But you're…Eric, the guy who I've been head over heels for since I was twelve" biting my lip I continued making my way to the food. Chopsticks. "I can feel every emotion that runs through your body even when I'm in Dallas. I felt your anger caused by these pointless people so I came down here and then I lost my nerve so it took me a few days" almost sighing in relief I pulled the chopsticks, breaking them in two before weaving up my hair into a bun.

I almost didn't even notice him move as he appeared in front of me, his fangs bared. His hand snapped up to clasp around my neck. Tears coming to my eyes, I waited in silence as he leaned in closer. Mental Note: make sure when going to visit your vampire…lover? Smell like him, not like his maker. Biting my lip I waited as he stood there, nose inches from mine.

"…I'm sorry I smell like Godric. His sent is on all my clothes. Obviously. We live in the same house, so it was to be expected" I shut my mouth after that. It seemed like forever before he finally made up his mind. His thumb started to rub over my pulse. His two bite marks from the last time I had visited still obvious on my skin. I felt my head being yanked closer, our lips connecting hastily as I was lifted onto the desk. Pulling my mouth away I looked at him in shock for a moment.

"I guess we'll get that scent off of you then" his grin flashed as he bared his fangs, digging into my neck from before. Bliss. I smiled as the sensation of Eric washed over me, him raising the skirt of my dress. Mental Note: visit Eric Northman more often.