Disclaimer: Nothing is mine but the creativity and storyline. All rights and characters go to original owners.


25th July 1997

Dear Diary,

So... I did it.

Ash stayed perfectly still, knelt on the floor in the middle of Pallet Park, his eyes closed.

"Pikachu?"

Ash sighed, his heart just about ready to burst with overwhelming joy and emotion. It was then, with nothing around them but the trees, the wind, the leaves blowing softly around them, he scrunched his eyes up tightly, and allowed just one more tear to fall.

That's when he felt it. The tiniest, softest, furriest touch ever. The touch he'd missed so badly.

"Pika?" Pikachu said, unsure, as it rest it's paw on Ash's cheek, absorbing some of the moisture into it's fur.

Then Ash cried in joy, a strangled version of a gasp and a sob, he reached out and took his Pokémon into a vice-like-grip bear hug, holding it close to his chest hard enough for nothing to ever hurt it (except him of course; at that point in time).

Although it didn't turn out at all like I'd expected it would.

"Pika... chu!" The Pokémon yelled, before admitting a large voltage shock. It hit Ash square in the chest of course, and he buzzed for a second from the impact. Pikachu stopped once Ash had dropped him, of course, but it didn't stop Ash's hair from smoking.

But... I suppose I can't really blame Pikachu. I mean, I wouldn't be particularly happy if my trainer trapped me in my Pokéball and buried me in the middle of a park – abandoning me for six years. OK, I admit; I'd be livid, too.

"I guess..." Ash said, reeling from his shock – literally, "...I was a little too enthused."

"Pika!" Pikachu snapped, folding its little arms and turning it's back to Ash.

"Pikachu?" Ash asked, a little hurt. "Hey, what's up, buddy?" Pikachu didn't answer. "Look, I'm sorry I kept you locked in there for so long, but you know why I did it."

When Pikachu didn't answer again, Ash just looked down at it in exasperation. He wasn't that bad a trainer, was he? He thought Pikachu would understand... but... wow. This was breaking his heart.

Pikachu knew why I left him that awful day on my fifteenth birthday. I'd explained it and he'd understood. I guess...

"Pikachu... Please," Ash said again in agony, closing his eyes and bowing his head, wishing this time again that he had his 'silly' cap to cover his face.

Pikachu did nothing.

...I guess he didn't expect me to be away for so long.

"I missed you."

Then suddenly, the little yellow Pokémon turned with an angry expression on it's face, unfolding it's arms and waving them around in threatening-like gestures, waving it's tiny fist in the air. Ash didn't attempt to touch it again. "Pika, Pika, Pikachu!" The Pokémon yelled, little volts of electricity glowing from it's fur – Ash had never it this angry before, not even in battle.

"Pika!Pika-pi!"

Ash let it continue, to make sure it let off all it's steam before he tried reasoning with it.

I was still Pikachu's trainer, wasn't I? I mean... I'd never really left him. I always thought about him, and missed him dearly when he was gone. It just hasn't been the same without him. But now it was as if...
I was still his trainer, but not his friend.

After what seemed like a lifetime later, Pikachu had quietened down, but hadn't let off as much steam as Ash had hoped for. He guessed he would still get a shock if he tried to touch it.

"Pikachu..." Ash said painfully, looking at the Pokémon over his brow, letting his unmanageable hair fall around his face, "Do you remember that time I was going to leave you with that pack of wild Pikachu's? And how happy I was when I'd found out you'd decided to stay with me?"

Pikachu folded it's arms and closed it's eyes, turning it's nose up in a snooty manner. "Pikachu," It said, nodding once to say he remembered.

"Well... just try to remember how sad you felt at the prospect of leaving... and how happy you were when I you came back."

Pikachu's eyes opened, and his head slowly craned down to peer at Ash under his mop of hair, it's arms unfolding. "Pika?" It said in a quiet voice, obviously doing what Ash had asked him to do – remember.

I had nothing left to say to Pikachu. It didn't want me, and I didn't blame it. But I still wanted him as my Pokémon, of course. It was the first Pokémon I ever owned. Now I couldn't believe it was leaving me...

"Pikachu..." But Ash couldn't finish, because a sob racked his whole body and the tears were running down his cheeks like mini-waterfalls in spring. Without thinking, he'd leapt up from the floor – from Pikachu – and covered his face with his arm as he ran out into the depth of the wood and away from his long lost Pokémon.

"Pikachu!" He heard it yell from behind him, just once. The tone was a 'come back' tone, but Ash didn't want to listen to it when he was in that state. He didn't want to rip to shreds any part of the little reputation he had left (let's face it, he was in the middle of a public park, in nothing but his pyjamas – not even shoes!).

The little Pokémon watched as it's trainer ran away from him in tears.

Again.

"Pika-pi..."


Ash lay in bed, his arms up above him to support his head, and he just stared up at the ceiling.

Mom acted like nothing had happened this morning, and neither did I. But I still felt pretty bad about it, and had to stay out even later in hope that she wouldn't see my tears. She, too, knew why I'd abandoned Pikachu and the rest of my Pokémon, and she'd told me to put a plug on my tears for them – I didn't want to disappoint her anymore than I already had.
But I left her a note saying 'sorry' and a couple of chocolates from the box I got at an office party at work.

*sigh*

I just wish I hadn't run away from Pikachu earlier today. It mustn't have been easy for him, watching me leave him again. It just...
It hurt too bad to stay there.
I just hope he's stayed where I can find him, and hasn't run away. Maybe he'll forgive me in the morning, if I can get to him? But... If he has ran away...
I hope he's caught by a trainer that really appreciates him, and that will never leave him
ever.

Ash closed his eyes as the stinging behind them became more pronounced, and he just wished he could get some sleep. But with thoughts of Pokémon swimming in his brain, it was difficult to concentrate.

Charmander, Bulbasaur, Squirtle, Pidgeotto, Butterfree... Pikachu.


It was early morning when Ash finally got some sleep.

The next morning, it took him a while to register the day before. But once it did, he leapt up from the bed and threw on the first clothes he saw, not caring whether they matched or not. He bound downstairs and into the kitchen, straightening his collar. His Mom was sat at the table, and was looking up at him in confusion.

"Where are you off to in a hurry? This is your day off work, remember?"

"Yeah," Ash said absently, snatching a piece of toast from the toaster and taking a huge bite – unbuttered, "I know, Mom. I just have to check on something first." And at that, he was out the door, yelling behind him as he went. "I won't be long!"

When Ash reached the park, it was already populated by a significant amount of people. He hadn't realised how late it was, and guessed it was about midday. He was glad that he actually had shoes on today, but he couldn't help but miss his cap. His cap that made him stand out, giving him his boyish charm.

By the time he'd gotten to his spot, the sun was burning down hard on the back of his neck, and his brow was damp.

But... where was Pikachu?

His Pokéball was still laying open on the ground, but there was no sign of Pikachu.

Oh no... Ash thought, his chest in a deep fog of pain, trying to cushion his bruised heart. He found himself falling to the ground, now unable to support his body, and landing on his knees once again in the dirt. But he didn't care. He didn't care for anything right then.

Choking back the tears, he sat with his eyes closed, his arms crossed around his body to hold himself, before he fell onto the grass, hitting it hard – but the pain wasn't anything compared to the stinging hole in his chest. He whispered Pikachu's name to himself, over and over again, and began wondering whether or not he was going insane.

26th July 1997

Dear Diary,

I... I...
Oh, God, it hurts just to think about it!

Just leave me alone.

Ash

"Pikachu..." He mumbled, immensely tired now, and hot under his clothes from the burning sun beating down like a giants fist. This was his punishment, he supposed. He left his Pokémon and now his Pokémon was leaving him – maybe this time forever. But he would rather not set eyes on a Pikachu for six years and then see his own; just like he'd done to Pikachu himself. Maybe this is what Pikachu had planned. Maybe Pikachu was just angry, and felt nothing for Ash but hatred now.

The thought alone made Ash gasp out and bury his damp face in his hands, still lying sprawled out on the grass, not caring who saw, who heard, who said anything. He didn't care at all, not while the picture of him as a ten year old boy – his loyal Pikachu at his side – was still swimming endlessly around his head.

He'd gotten over this before, right?

...Maybe he just wasn't prepared to get over it again.

Pikachu was gone. And there was nothing he could do about it.


A/N: Aww, doesn't your heart just bleed for him? ^_^ Pikachu will be back soon, folks, don't worry! :) Pokémon just wouldn't be Pokémon without Pikachu! Haha!

I know I was a little slow getting this up, but faster than usual, eh? ;) Next will be updated hopefully tomorrow, or at the earliest, later today! :D

Reviewers get to find Ash crying in Pallet Park and comfort him. *huggle*

Kelly xxx