Chapter 2: Kate struggles to face her true feelings for Jack as their relationship grows more serious.


Weeks passed. It surprised them how quickly they were able to settle into the routine of a normal life. As if they had been at this for years. Jack was spending most of his nights at Kate's, but they were taking it as slow as they could despite how eager they were to make up for lost time.

During the week, Jack would go to work and Kate would stay with Aaron. They had a nanny given the volatility of Jack's hours and the many meetings Kate had to attend in order to fully tie up the loose ends of her life before the island, a life now long behind them.

And then there was her task from Sawyer. She had no idea how to explain her friendship with Cassidy to Jack, or if she should. Whenever she allowed herself to feel at ease with her new life, Sawyer's final whispering request would seep into her consciousness, looming over her like a distant storm cloud, even though she had already completed her duty. She didn't know how to reconcile her desire to help the man she left behind with her desire to help the man who stayed by her side. She owed them both so much.

But for now, she was enjoying life with Jack. She was enjoying the idea that she finally had built herself a place to call home. There was nothing left to run from. It amazed her to know that all she truly needed was the love from Jack and Aaron to feel fulfilled. It was such a simple solution to something she had so endlessly searched for.

Jack struggled only slightly with adopting the role of father figure to Aaron and companion to Kate. It was still very soon, and he was still unsure of his ability to be responsible for the happiness, not just the safety, of others. But now he knew that Kate was there to pull him through, even if it was kicking and screaming at first.


"You know I did surgery on a kid today." Jack said one night as he and Kate washed dishes after putting Aaron to bed. The way he said it made it clear it had been on his mind all evening.

"Oh?" she replied.

"Yeah. He must have only been a little older than Aaron. Three, maybe four years old."

"What happened to him?"

"He got hit by a car. Wandered out into the street while his babysitter wasn't watching."

"My God. Is he okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, he'll be fine, it's just-" Jack said, but he cut himself short.

"What is it?" Kate said, nudging him on.

"I get worried when he's home without us, Kate."

"But the nanny is here whenever that happens."

"I know but how do we know what she does with him? For all we know she could just sit in the living room watching TV all day while he runs around, ready to break a limb. Or worse."

Jack looked to Kate with deep, sincere concern in his eyes. Kate understood his fear, but couldn't help a sudden bubble of laughter from escaping her. Jack looked confused and slightly put off.

"What's funny about that?"

"Nothing, there's nothing funny it's just…" she collected herself and stared at him lovingly.

"Just what?" he returned her adoring smile with a quizzical frown.

"You sound like a dad, that's all."

"Well I think it's a perfectly legitimate…."

"Jack," Kate said, placing a hand on his shoulder in reassurance, "I promise you, nothing happens to Aaron while we're not here. Trust me. But for the record, hearing you get all worked up about this is just about the sweetest thing I've ever seen."

Jack, not one to usually enjoy teasing, laughed and shrugged.

"I just worry, that's all. I'm afraid…I'm afraid someone's going to try and take him away."

Kate grew serious. He had voiced her greatest fear. He could see this in her eyes and knew it was now his turn to be the support. Jack stepped forward and put his arms around Kate. She looked up at him, a hint of a tear in her eye.

"But then I remember that he's got you as a mom. And anyone would have to be crazy to think any different. And I know that as long as you're in his life, nothing bad can ever happen to him."

Without any answer, Kate leaned up and gave him a lingering kiss. It was all the affirmation he needed that his words had worked. When they parted, Jack gave her a sly smile.

"So you think I'm sweet, huh?"

She laughed, playing along. "Maybe just a little."

"Only a little?" he feigned disappointment. "Well what can I do to prove myself?"

Without unlocking arms, the pair slowly began to back out of the kitchen.

"Oh I can think of a few ways." Kate said. With that, Jack scooped her up in his arms and made for the stairs, the both of them giggling like giddy teenagers.


Neither of them could fall asleep. Jack held Kate to him, her back to his chest. He gently kissed the back of her head, loving the texture of her thick curls against his face. There was something safe about it, almost reassuring. He sighed into her hair and she shivered at the feeling. Jack held her tighter and she squeezed his hand that rested on her waist.

Lying there with her, Jack did his best to convince himself they were different people now. But he knew they would never really leave the island behind, not completely. It was a thought that plagued him especially in moments like this, when he felt most connected to Kate, because what she had left behind had the potential to directly affect their future.

"Do you miss him?" he asked. It was the first time he had ever brought up the subject, but it had always been at the back of their minds. Kate didn't answer right away, she was taken aback that he would think to bring this up at this of all moments. She couldn't understand what had prompted him.

Kate rolled over to face Jack.

"What?"

"And please tell me the truth."

Kate searched Jack's eyes for an indication of whether or not she really should say the truth, or simply what would make Jack feel better. But she knew that lying was pointless now and would only come back to hurt them.

"Yes. I miss him."

Jack felt as if he had had the wind knocked out of him. He looked away from her, a rush of confusion and betrayal surging through him. He turned onto his back, ridding himself of her touch.

"Hey, look at me," she said, propping herself up and placing a hand on his chest, determined to make him face her and the truth. "I miss him, yes. Just like I miss everyone we left behind."

Jack didn't say anything and continued to avoid her eyes. She placed a hand to his cheek and guided his face in her direction. Kate opened her mouth to speak, but instead she kissed him. She motioned to pull back but he held her lips to his for one more moment. When they parted, she looked deep into his eyes.

"This is exactly where I want to be. With you – you, Jack, no one else. But you can't ask me to forget about him. It's not fair."

Jack could see that she was telling the truth. That he really was the one she wanted to be with. She wasn't choosing him over anyone, or by default, it simply was. And he knew that the least she deserved was for him to not ask of her anything she would never ask of him.

"I'm sorry. You're right." he said, looking to her with something akin to expectation.

Kate knew what he wanted to hear from her. Those three words that paralyzed her with fear every time she thought about them, especially when it came to Jack. She had always been afraid of her feelings for him, they were stronger than she could control, and it frightened her to know that such a thing was possible. All her life she had trained herself to never get too attached, to never try and save anyone but herself. But with Jack, all she wanted to do was fix him, just as he wanted to fix her and everyone else. She wanted to be not only his protector, but the one to turn him into the man she knew he was meant to become. But the prospect of admitting this, this feeling that directly went against everything she knew about herself, terrified her.

And so as Jack looked to her for some sign of connection, she gave him the best she could offer for the time being.

"I meant what I said, Jack. I have always been with you."

He took this for what it was, not exactly a confession of love but a step in the right direction.

Kate rolled over so they were in the same spooning position they had been in at first. Jack nestled his face in the crook where her neck met her shoulder. She felt his steady breath calm her into a half-sleep. Maybe an hour passed. Kate dozed in and out, but Jack lay resting peacefully awake.

"I love you," he whispered, believing her to be fast asleep. Kate's eyes fell open, but as her back was to him he couldn't see. She said nothing in response, allowing him to continue believing she was dead to the world. She didn't know why, but she felt a few tears move down her face. She smiled to herself and pulled Jack's arm tight around her absent-mindedly, as if she was in fact asleep. But she knew there was no hope for sleep anymore, as her mind began racing with those words repeating over and over, relishing in the safety they promised.


AN: Thanks for the encouraging reviews! I think I'll keep this up for a few chapters. I doubt I'll be offering any unique plot developments, but I just felt like filling in some gaps and fleshing out this period that was only alluded to on the show. Keep the reviews coming!