Mulder sighed and adjusted his tie again in the mirror, groaning when it still didn't look right. He usually had no problems with his ties, and when he did, Scully was there with her small hands, talking softly and fixing his problem while he calmed down. But she wasn't here right now, and he had to be strong all on his own.
"Daddy?"
He turned around and saw Kayla in the doorway, her eyes trained on the carpet and her shoes unbuckled. She had dressed herself in the dark blue dress he had left out for her, but she didn't look comfortable.
"Hey sweetie. What's wrong?"
"My hair is tangly," she said, holding out a brush. "I can't do it myself."
"C'mere, Noodle," he said, holding out his hand and sitting down on the side of the tub. She walked over to him slowly, tripping a little on her shoes. She stood in front of him and he turned her around, taking the brush to her hair. He tried to be careful, but it wasn't long before he ran into tangles. She whimpered a little as he worked through a knot but didn't make more noise than that.
"Daddy," she said once he was done. "What's going to happen to grandma?"
"What do you mean?"
"Is it cold when you get buried? And dark?"
He sighed and pulled her into his arms, not sure what to tell her. She buried her face in his neck and sighed.
"Remember how we talked about grandma being in heaven?"
"Auntie Caroline says she's with the angels."
"Yeah."
"But she's here too, but she's not alive anymore."
"I know it's hard to understand."
"I miss grandma."
"I know you do baby."
"I will always miss her, huh?"
"Yeah, you will. But after a while it won't hurt your heart so much."
She nodded, satisfied with his answers.
"Are you ready to go?"
"My shoes need to be fixed."
He pulled her into his lap and buckled her shoes while she watched quietly. He longed for his bubbly, giggly little girl, but he couldn't push her either.
"Can I bring my blanket?" she asked quietly. She hadn't hauled the old blanket with her anywhere in years.
"Sure. We just need to be sure it comes home with us too."
"I won't lose it."
"Alright. Do you want me to put your hair up?"
"Can you just pull it back in a pretty like grandma does?"
"Sure."
She took a hair clip off of the counter and he managed to get it fastened in her hair fairly decently.
"Go get your blanket and we'll go."
She headed out of the bathroom and he followed her, checking his cell phone one more time to see if Diana had called. They'd left her messages, sent e-mails, and done everything else they could think of to let her know what was going on. Mulder had the sneaking suspicion that she didn't really care.
"Mulder it's me."
He let out a long sigh and fell back against the bed. He had been wanting her next to him all day long, wishing she could have been there to help him help Kayla.
"Hey Scully."
"Is this a bad time?"
"No, not at all. I just put Kayla to bed."
"How is she doing?"
"I don't know. She's quiet."
"And you?"
"I'm just worried about her. I don't know how to deal with this or how to make her feel better."
"Mulder, you're there aren't you? That's what she needs most."
"I knew you'd make me feel better. How are you doing?"
"Oh, I'm fine. I've actually gotten caught up on a lot of things at work."
"That's not what I meant, Scully."
She sighed.
"I'm okay, Mulder. I mean, it's a lot to take in, but I'm getting there."
"I didn't mean to dump all that in your lap, Scully. I wanted to tell you years ago, but-"
"I know, Mulder. It's okay. Everything is okay with us. You've got your daughter to worry about right now."
"I know that. I just… I don't want things between us to change. I'm really going to need you, Scully."
"I'm always going to be here. I promise."
"Thanks."
"You need sleep, Mulder. Good sleep."
"Ever thought of being a comedienne?"
"I'm serious. Go lay down. Relax."
"Can you do me a favor?"
"What's that?"
"Can you stay on the phone for a bit? Talk to me?"
"Are you trying to say that I am boring enough to put you to sleep?" she asked, her voice dropping to a softer level. She could hear his smile over the line accompanied by his sheets rustling as he slid into them. She did the same, settling against her pillows and working herself into a comfortable position, wrapped snugly in the blankets, the phone pressed to her ear as if he was right there, curled up behind her. She missed him when he was gone, but she missed him more when he was gone and hurting.
"Maybe a little, but only because you're too far away to pinch me for it."
They shared a quiet laugh and sigh, enjoying the lighthearted moment while they could.
"Mulder?"
"Yeah?"
"What's going to happen?"
She didn't have to specify that she was talking about work to get him to understand her meaning. They would be fine as friends, but their partnership was up in the air. His whole career was up in the air for that matter. He couldn't continue to go on these dangerous wild goose chases, he couldn't meet with shady informants, he couldn't even go on late night stakeouts. It was too dangerous. It had always been too dangerous, and her mind twisted, trying to figure out why he had done it even after finding out that Kayla was his daughter. She was sure he had his reasons, almost certain that it was because he wanted to make the world better for Kayla, even if that meant leaving her. That way of thinking was going to have to stop, and she had to figure out a way to make him see that.
"I don't know what's going to happen, Scully. It's definitely not going to be the same though. I'm not sure if the X-Files are going to be safe. I don't know where you're going to go. Everything is going to change."
"Except us. We're going to be okay."
"I will do everything I can to make sure that we are."
"Can I ask you a personal question?"
"Sure."
"Are your ugly ties Father's Day presents?"
He chuckled.
"The ugliest ones are all me, but she's given me a few lookers over the years."
"They don't seem so ugly anymore," she said softly.
There was a long pause as they both let the feeling settle around them.
"I miss you, Scully."
"I miss you too."
"I wish you were here."
"I'd jump in the car right now if you wanted me to."
"I do, but it's probably best that you don't."
"I know. When do you think you'll be home?"
"I'm not sure. I thought that maybe in a few days we'll bring some of her stuff over, then come back here. I don't want to do the move all in one shot. I want her to know the home she's going to."
"You know, I can go over to your apartment and clean it up a little. Maybe open a window in the bedroom so the air isn't like Jello anymore?"
"Is it really that bad?"
"Well maybe more like meringue."
"Thanks, Scully," he muttered, pretending to be hurt, but really thanking her for the offer.
"Anytime. Go to sleep, Mulder."
"I'll talk to you tomorrow. I… um… I love you, Scully."
"I love you too. Everything is going to be okay. We'll figure it out together."
"Thanks for the we."
"You're welcome. Goodnight, Mulder."
"Night Scully."
