A/N: SORRY I pooped out on this story! I got caught up in something else, wrote 12 chapters of it in less than two weeks, and then suddenly remembered that I had been neglecting this for a really long time. I apologize.
Two Weeks Later
Scully took a deep breath as she stood at Mulder's door, her hand poised to knock, her eyes trained on the brass 42, her stomach full of some kind of large bird. This night would set the tone for the rest of her life with Mulder. That thought alone was enough to make her want to turn back and head for the nearest cave. But the fact that this night was going to set the tone for the rest of her life with Kayla… that had her frozen in place, scared stiff. She wanted and needed this to work. Mulder wanted and needed this to work. And his need only heightened her need and it became a vicious circle in her head, one that would take years of unraveling by a team of highly skilled psychiatrists.
She took another breath and knocked, bracing herself for whatever was going to happen tonight. She heard a hand touch the knob and there was a long pause. Mulder seemed to be trying to find his feet also. It made her feel a little better, and by the time the door swung open, she was smiling.
"Hey Mulder."
"Hey Scully."
They looked at each other for a while before he grabbed her wrists and pulled her into his arms.
"I missed you so much," he confessed, burying his nose in her hair. She hugged him back, breathing in his scent, letting it fill her whole body. She felt so much better now than she had ten seconds ago, which really shouldn't have come as much of a surprise.
"I missed you too. I thought you would never come back."
"I thought you would die while trying to clean out this place. Thank you by the way. It looks great. I can't believe you even got new fish."
"You had a lot of floaters in there. I took a water sample down to the pet store and they tested it and gave me some drops to stabilize the water. That might make it easier to prevent the fishicides."
"Thanks."
It was mundane conversation, but threw them right back to where they needed to be. They smiled together and he pulled her into the kitchen.
"I discovered something that you'll appreciate."
"Oh really?"
"Now don't tease me for not having a real dinner for you. Things have been kind of hectic."
"I know."
"This is the best trick ever. Leftover Chinese food tastes fresh when you heat it up in a skillet on low instead of in the microwave."
"Very innovative. Can I ask though how old that Chinese food is?"
"Day before yesterday."
"And still edible to boot. Mulder, you amaze me."
"It is one of my main life goals."
She smiled and leaned against the counter, watching him putter around the kitchen, getting plates and glasses out.
"So… how are things?"
"Good. It's hard, but she's doing okay, which makes it easier. She misses her grandma though."
"It'll get better for her."
"I know. It's just hard to watch her at night when I tuck her in. She looks around the room and tells me that she wants her grandma. And I don't have anything to say to make her feel better."
"I know. But Mulder, your job isn't to make her feel better. Your job is to be there. That's what she needs."
"You can make me sane again in thirty words or less. Thank you."
She smiled and opened her mouth to reply, but was interrupted by an inquisitive "daddy" from the other room. She smirked as she realized it was directed at Mulder, and smirked even more when he moved from the stove and headed for his daughter.
"What honey?"
"I cannot find my other shoe."
"Why do you need your shoes? We're not going anywhere."
"I know, but I still need to know where they are."
"I don't understand your logic."
"You don't have to do that, daddy, you just need to help me find my shoe!"
"I'm coming, I'm coming."
He disappeared around the corner and Scully held onto the counter, trying to recall what her mother had said.
"Dana, you just need to be yourself. Be there for him and the rest will fall into place. She may not need you but he does. As his best friend you have no choice but to be there."
It may have been tough love, but it was true, and it made her stand up a little straighter if nothing else.
"You'd better duck or we're gonna knock off your noggin!"
"No, be careful of my noggin, it's the only one I got!"
Mulder laughed and came around the corner, Kayla on his shoulders. She was giggling and brushing her hair out of her face, her cheeks flushed.
"Okay Noodle, train stops here," Mulder said, lifting her off his shoulders and holding her in his arms.
"But daddy, you didn't even take me halfway to Timbuktu!"
"Well you didn't pay your whole fare."
She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek repeatedly.
"There. Now can we go to Timbuktu?"
"Can we compromise with a rain check?"
"Oh alright."
He settled her on the floor and a silence settled over the room for a brief moment.
"Kayla, this is my friend Dana."
"Hi Dana," Kayla said, sticking her hand out. Scully shook it, surprised that such a young girl would have manners and confidence.
"Hi Kayla."
"Daddy told me some stories about you. He thinks you're like Wonder Woman."
"Oh really?" Scully asked, slightly amused and arching an eyebrow at Mulder.
"Kayla, I didn't say that."
"You said she's like Wonder Woman and Lois Lane and I asked what superhero you were and you said you weren't one because you don't look good in a cape. Remember?"
His face was a deep red and Scully couldn't stop the giggle that came out of her mouth.
"Yes Kayla, I remember. Why don't you set the table?"
"Okay!"
She went into the kitchen and climbed up on a stool, carefully taking three mismatched plates down from the cupboard. She climbed down from the stool and moved it over so she could climb up again and reach the glasses. Scully watched the whole thing with amusement, noting how alike Mulder and Kayla looked when they were concentrating. She was definitely his child, and Scully cursed Diana for making Mulder believe that wasn't true. He'd missed out on the early years of his daughter's life simply because Diana was selfish and wanted to hurt him. He'd missed Father's day and first steps, daddy's and I love you's coming from her for the first time. She could forgive Diana Fowley a lot of things, but never this.
The evening was winding down and Kayla was getting sleepy. Scully had tried to leave after dinner, but they had both insisted she stay and watch a movie with them. It wasn't that she was uncomfortable, she just wasn't sure where she fit in. They were a family and she wasn't a part of it.
Kayla was curled up on Mulder's lap, sucking on her finger and staring at the TV screen. Mulder's hand was brushing through her hair and Scully watched them out of the corner of her eye, envying their bond, wishing it for herself, fighting the germ of jealousy at the attention Mulder lavished on his daughter. She loved seeing them together, but at the same time, it hurt her deeply.
"Noodle, what do you say we stop the movie and finish it in the morning?"
Kayla nodded and yawned, turning to bury her face in her father's shoulder. He stood up from the couch with her, motioned to Scully to wait five minutes, then headed into the bedroom.
Scully sighed softly and touched the blanket Kayla had left on the couch. Satin edges around white fluff, pictures of horses and dogs happily prancing around a world in which the sun was always shining and kids never had to hurt. She stared at the blanket for a long time, her fingers running over the satin edge as she tried to get her feelings and emotions back in line. She had to be the strong one here, had to be the one to hold things together because Mulder couldn't do it himself. It was her duty.
"You okay?" came a whisper from above her. She smiled and looked up, her eyes belying the turmoil behind them.
"Yeah. Just tired. Been a long day."
He sat down next to her and they lapsed into a silence, neither knowing what to say or where to begin or even if they should. His hand met hers and curled around it, holding on gently, forging a new connection without any words. This was what they were now, easy or not. They hurt for themselves and they hurt for each other, but those things were better kept quiet for now.
