"Some men can make you feel special, while others can make you feel wanted. But it's a real man who can make you feel loved."- Melody Gaynor
I ran from the room, face down, fresh tears present on my face. For a moment, I was reminded of what it had been like to be hit, beaten. Jean would apologize, that I knew, but the pain was still evident. It hurt worse to think about. I'd just left behind a love, childish though it may seem, but strong. I now had a reason for being, and it had been scorned from my sight.
I walked to my bedroom, trying to control the emotions that wouldn't leave. Still sobbing, I flung myself down on the bed. Hate was a passionate feeling, both obsecure and indeniable. If it were not for Jean, Logan and I would have made passionate love to one another. She couldn't comprehend how much that would have saved me. I needed Logan like I needed air to breathe.
During Logan's absence, I cut myself off from a normal life. When he returned, spring had come back once again. My life was no longer a void, never ceasing or stopping. No, my life had changed, and unregretably for the better.
I banged a fist on the matress, anger clouding my eyes. I didn't want to hate Jean, nor did I want to hurt her. But there came a point in my life were I need to take the wheel. She wanted to protect me; therfore, she had to hurt me. My heart-ached for different reasons, some made sense, others did not.
If Jean thought for a moment I'd avoid Logan, she bet her money wrong. How could she be so absurdly stupid. She was too set in her ways to see the truth. Logan wouldn't listen either, he'd come to me. Sooner or later, we'd be together again.
The week came and went, passing faster then imaginable. I stayed, confined in my room, refusing to speak to Jean. Scott tried, also, to reason with me, but I'd past the point of right judgement. Not once had Logan tried, at all, to contact me.
That day, evening had past and night arrived. I took a long, steamy, shower and combed out the knots in my hair. Images of the Logan invaded my mind without permission. I sighed.
An irritating tapping noise distracted me from thought. I shut off the water and changed into a soft, pale night-gown. My room was still barron, as expected. I lay down on the sheets, humming an unfirmilar tune.
The tapping sound picked up again, louder, this time, then before. I followed it over to my window. There, below my window, stood Logan, gently tossing rocks. A true smile spread full-out across my face. I unlocked the window, dodging a pebble before it hit me.
Logan grinned and began scaling the ivy vines that enveloped the school's walls. "Be careful!" I said a bit too loudly, forgetting to keep my voice down. Excited didn't even cover how eager I was to see him.
Finally he reached my open window and soundlessly climbed through. I reached out for him and he pulled me into his arms, planting butterfly kisses on my head.
"Did you miss me?" he whispered, running his fingers through my wet hair. I buried my face in his chest. Why would he ask a question to which the answer was irrelavent.
"More then you know." My answer didn't seem to surprise him. He already knew my heart belonged to him.
We lay down together on my bed, wrapped tightly in an embrace. I delicatley stroked his lips and they parted beneath my fingers. My breathing hieghtened as he skimmed his hand softly down my thigh.
"What do you have on under this?" He asked, tugging at the white, fragile material that covered me. It took a minute to gather my words, for they always ran away in his prescence.
"Nothing," I stuttered. He hissed at my response, trying to give me time.
"You know what I want to do to you?" Logan smiled, inching up my night-gown the tiniest bit. I was too dizzy to answer.
He continued, " First, I want to pull off your night-gown," he tugged at it, "After that, I'll kiss every part of you." He kissed my forehead. "And then, we'll make long, passionate love together."
He pulled me closer, "And then I want to fall asleep holding you in my arms."
"The why don't you?" I challenged, throwing my arms around his neck in an inescapable snare. Logan rubbed my shoulders, warming the patches of skin he touched.
"Because I love you." he replyed. This confused me. He brought my mouth to his, letting his tongue lightly trace my lips.
I took his hand and brought it down to my inner thigh. "Can you rub here again?" He grinned, his finger making circular patterns on my skin.
Without thinking, I spread my legs wider apart, giving him more places to rub. After a minute, he stopped. I glanced up at him.
Logan's teeth were clenched and his eyes were on fire. "Julie, your not making this control thing any easier."
"Oops!" I laughed nervously. I closed my legs and straightened out my night-gown.
Logan frowned, "You don't have to cover yourself up, that much." He pushed my night-gown back up so that my thighs were still visible.
He took off his shirt and sucked on my neck, letting me relax. I played with his hair, twisting it around in my fingers.
As Logan wanted, he fell asleep holding me.
Boy is this a steamy chapter, I was getting all sweaty just writing it, ha. As always, review. More coming soon. I need your feedback.
-Carolyn
