The slightly overweight psychiatrist has dark marks under her arms as she shuffles cards, and a clip board on the desk in front of Cook, he's bored, slouched back on a chair. The evaluation has been going on all day; this interview is the last of it. The doctor fumbles with the cards, and Cook rolls his eyes.

"D'you mind if I smoke?" he's going to regardless of what she says.

"It won't affect the test, Captain." She answers. "Are you familiar with Rorschach cards?

Cook nods, he's seen the dark patterns before.

She turns the first card over."Tell me what you see" Cook thinks it looks like the burst of the flares they use to guide helicopters into locations at night. Ha takes a pull on his cigarette.

"A vagina"

"I see," the doctor replies, makes a note. "And this one?"

Cook looks at the card, it looks like a corpse.

"A vagina" he nods.

"Right, "no emotion from the Doctor, she turns over the next card.

Cook looks at it, he sees a dog's skull, but it's been cleaved into two separate halves, probably with an axe, he thinks.

"Ah, now, this..." he picks the card up, looks more closely "This.., this is a pussy" He smiles.

Jameson is waiting for him outside. Cook squints in the harsh sunlight, fires up another cigarette, starts to walk away.

"Everything OK?" Jameson jumps up from the bench he's been waiting on.

"Yep, no problem, sane as the next man" Cook walks on

"Back on Ops then?" Jameson seems pleased

"Going to take some time off first," says Cook, "Get out of this place"

Jameson shakes his head, "Man, where are you going to go? You belong here." He stops walking.

"Going home, gonna catch up with some mates" Cook carries on walking, doesn't look round when Jameson shouts after him;

"You can't go back, man, you don't belong there anymore, you're a fucking steely eyed killer, man. You'll be back"

Cook carries on walking, gives him the finger.

OooooO

She pulls into the car park slowly, does a lap of the empty spaces, and sees a spot by a low wall, beyond is a sandy beach, and rolling small waves. She turns off the engine, and stops. Run out of road. She takes off her helmet, puts the stand down but stays on the bike, feet on the pegs. It's on the tilt because of the side stand, but it's OK. It's at this point she wishes she was slightly taller, it's a small bike, but Rob's had to replace even the meagre seat that was there with a mouse mat cut to size, so she could put her feet down at junctions. It's un-comfy on her bum, but she's too distracted to notice. She hears the bike cool down around her, the brakes contracting make a tinkling noise, the engine gurgles and pings, metals cooling, water circulating, oil pooling at the bottom of the engine. She bounced it off the rev limiter a couple of times coming here. Rob's going to be cross she thinks. Fuck it, it was worth it. She leans forward onto the tank, rests her chin on her hands, feels the bike, warm between her legs. Closes her eyes. Listens to the sounds of the sea, the waves, and the gulls. Feels the breeze on her face, and as it blows her hair around, she takes in a lungful of English seaside. She tries to still her racing mind, thoughts flying around; she steadies her breathing, tries to make sense of the things she's feeling

Her mobile vibrates, distracting her, she opens her eyes and reaches into her leathers, takes it out, looks at the screen, her sister. She thumbs the reject button, and it's silenced. She resumes her position.

The mobile chirps again with a text message. Emily sighs, opens it up "I'll call again in a min. Answer this time" from Katie. Emily sighs, places the mobile where she can see it, and waits for the call.

"Where are you?"

Emily looks around "Dunno, at the coast somewhere"

"I heard you scream off on that bike, what's going on?"

Emily waits for a moment before answering "Naomi"

Katie sighs audibly, "Should've known, really...so?"

Emily idly picks at the scuffing on her knee slider, thinks she ought to buy some new ones "We talked"

Katie is exasperated "Fucking hell, Em, just tell me what happened, we'll be here all night at this rate"

Emily continues to pick at the slider, "She told me she still loves me. That's pretty much it really"

"Right" Katie pauses, "That's good, right?"

"Is it?" Emily answers

"Isn't that what you want?" Katie's tone is gentler.

"I dunno...yes...no, oh fucking hell, I dunno"

"Why not Em?" Katie sounds confused

"I dunno if I can do all this again, her, relationships" Emily sounds resigned.

"So, let me get this straight, the love of your life," Katie emphasises it for effect "tells you she still loves you after all the shit you went through, and now you can't decide if it's worth it." Katie pauses. "Does that pretty much sum things up?"

"Katie, it's complicated"

"No, Emily, it really isn't" Katie's becoming crosser "She said sorry, said she loves you. Forgive her, move on"

"Forgive her? What are you talking about, Katie?"

"Whatever she did to fuck it up"

"Katie, it wasn't her," Emily pauses, as tears form at the corners of her eyes, "It was me. I fucked it up, I killed it, Naomi did nothing wrong, It's me that sucks at relationships, OK"

"Oh...right" Katie is silent.

"Yeah, what a shitter, huh?" Emily tries to make fun of it. "We had one argument, what was it she said? Oh yeah, I remember 'A personality made up entirely of characters flaws.' That cut...a bit. "

"Ouch" Katie replies.

"It was hard, Katie. Naomi got a job, well paid. Cool, you know? I couldn't. She paid for everything, I couldn't deal with it, "she pauses, "She bought me this bike"

"Emily" Katie doesn't know what to say.

"It got worse, I got jealous of her going out with work, and I felt stupid, redundant, like she didn't need me anymore. I did some...stupid things, embarrassing things, I got drunk...made a tit of myself"

"Oh Emily, I didn't know"

"No, she didn't say anything to any-one, you all assumed it was her, she didn't say a thing, while I did my best to fuck it up, until it was too late, and I'd pushed her away. " Emily can feel the hot tears falling down her face, as she continues, takes in a ragged breath "I begged her, Katie , I begged her to forgive me, but I'd hurt her so much" Emily sniffs, wipes her eyes "And after all that she still loves me, and I couldn't fucking deal with it, and I fucked it up again. She's crying now, she starts to sob, feeling sorrier for herself than she's ever done, "Katie, I don't know what to do"

"Emily, Come home, Ok? It'll be Ok, just come home." Katie fights to remain calm. There's a pause, and the smallest voice says,"OK", almost whispers, and the line goes dead.

Albert Finney closes the shutter on his ice cream store, he's done quite well today what with the weather being so nice, he doesn't normally open this early in the year, but he's glad he did today. As he locks the shutter into the ground, he hears her, and looks over. Albert's seen many things in that car park over the years; Mods and Rockers fighting, raves, Kids stealing cars, but he's never in all his years seen a girl on a motorcycle crying her eyes out, he can see from across the quite car park, her head in her hands, shoulders heaving up and down, and can hear her cries. And he wonders to himself what on earth could cause her to be so upset.