A's notes : Hey there, this is it ! The very end of Bella's Twilight. From Angela's POV. Basically, she's just reflecting on her life and her future as a vampire. Tell me what you think. And I won't write any sequel, I'm really done with Bella's Twilight :) I wanna write something different now.
Karine
The pain was worse than anything I had ever experienced before. Like every human, I already underwent many kinds of physical pain like hitting your elbow, having soap in your eye or biting your tongue while chewing. But this was taking my breath away so badly I couldn't even breathe properly now, I felt my vocal cords vibrate but I couldn't hear the screams for I was too numb. Why was it so painful ? Why did it have to be this way to become a vampire ? Was it a kind of price to pay ? I remember wanting to move, to run but Mr Cullen was holding me tight, he attached me to a hospital bed so I couldn't hurt myself running, he disappeared and came back then.
I saw him injecting something in my veins and he told me "It's morphine, it may calm you down a little". But I felt a little wasn't enough. I couldn't guess what could make this suffering go away, it was so powerful. Then, slowly, gradually, the pain faded away very lightly but it was already a wonderful and peaceful feeling ; I managed to close my eyes and not move an inch. If I just moved my eyes, the pain was worse. So I remained absolutely still except for breathing.
Sometimes I heard them coming to see me but I knew Edward and Bella were always there. I thought about my life so far and I could say that I actually had a good one : I had a happy and peaceful childhood, spending time with my friends, my cousins, I always had good results at school and I knew what I wanted to do with my life⦠At least while being human.
Meeting Bella indirectly led me to this state I'm now, waiting for the transformation to be over. I've always been the kind of rational person that believes in science, things that could be explained scientifically and all I believed in just collapsed the second I saw Rosalie bite Edward. But in the end, aren't vampires more than mythological creatures, more than urban legends, more than a reflection of human's evil side ? Aren't they a different kind of humans at the end of the day ? In between humankind and animals, they're humans who feed differently, who live differently. They don't have to kill humans, they can choose what path they want to take, just like everyone else actually. Vampires like the Cullens are misunderstood, they scare people and they make them stay away from them though they harm no one. Except for Rosalie of course. But the others aren't like this.
What path will I choose ? "Normal" life with the Cullens or destruction and freedom ? Added to loneliness. Will I be the same person ? Won't I lose my personality ? My values ? For blood. Right now, this thought makes me sick. Blood is the symbol of life, death, love and power. Blood brings both humans and vampires life, but it can also conveys death ; you can seal you destiny symbolically by blood. A few days ago, blood was just a simple liquid running through our veins, made of red blood and white blood cells, water and oxygen. Now it's different. Blood is to be my synonym of survival, the result of a complex transformation in which blood would not be useful for my cells but to appease my hunger.
And, as surprising as it might sound, I accepted this new life ahead of me : A life made of blood for only food, an existence of youth and eternity. And I wasn't left alone at least, the Cullens were there to help me but the Volturi puzzled me a lot, I didn't really understand their goal, this desire to govern over every vampires. Wasn't there a point at the end of the day ? How did those vampires enjoy life ?
Then I thought about Eric, Jessica, Mike and my other friends. How to explain to them without hurting them ? Will I ever see them again ? Will I find somebody to be with for eternity ? Eventually, I couldn't end up alone forever right ?
