"You look like a prat." Owen informed Ianto dryly.

Ianto deftly tied his tie into an impeccable Windsor knot, "You tell me that every day."

"Well you look like a prat every day," Owen retorted, "How do you expect to chat up girls at this when you look like a twat?"

"I don't think there are going to be any spare girls around for me to chat up," Ianto responded dryly, "The only girls are Gwen, Martha, and Tosh."

Owen smirked at him, "That's who it was going to be. Until Martha met a nice transfer student called Siobhan in her Lit class. Then she happened to mention this to me and I happened to mention that our little woobie Ianto had met a girl of that name in one of his classes…"

Ianto's eyes widened and he let out a low groan, "This is going to be a disaster."

"It's not going to be that bad," Owen told him, "Gwen and I will run coverage."

"I hardly think that Gwen wearing a low-cut top will be enough to distract Jack when he gets in his moods." Ianto's voice had reached dryness comparable to the Sahara, "What did I do with the wine?"

"You're asking me?" Owen asked surprised, "You really are worried."

Ianto ran his hand through his hair as he searched the kitchen for it, "I just don't want to deal with this. I wanted to have a nice evening with friends."

Owen leaned uncomfortably against the frame of the door. He coughed, "Look Ianto, I'm fine giving you advice about getting shagged, but go to Tosh if you want to talk about feelings."

Ianto grabbed the wine bottle with more force than strictly necessary, "I don't want to talk about feelings and I definitely don't need your help getting laid."

"Just trying to help," Owen said, pulling on his battered leather jacket, "Does she still live on Meadow Park?"

"No, she moved into Tom's place," Ianto reminded him as they climbed into Owen's car.

The ride passed in a terse silence, with Ianto curtly directing Owen towards Tom's house. The second they walked in the door a frantic Martha called, "Oh, Ianto thank goodness you're here!"

Ianto turned to Owen with a sigh, "For once I would like to walk into a house and not be greeted by a kitchen related disaster."

"It's ruining your masculine image," Owen snorted.

"At least the apron Jack got me is safely at the hub." Ianto pulled off his jacket, rolled up his sleeves, and with a quick hello to Tom, made his way into the kitchen. He immediately encountered a billow of steam which revealed a flour dusted Martha and Siobhan. He rested his hands on his hips and said, "Why am I constantly surrounded by beautiful intelligent women who know nothing about what to do in a kitchen?"

"Hi Ianto," Siobhan greeted him with a bright smile, "And it's because we're modern women. We'll be bringing home the bacon for you to fry up for us in a pan."

"I'm not sure that you would recognize it as bacon," Ianto eyed the mess of dough on the table, "What exactly was this attempt at food?"

"We tried to hand roll pasta…" Martha trailed off with a gesture, "It didn't really work."

Ianto moved over to the cook top and then checked the refrigerator, "Well the sausage looks salvageable. I'll call Jack and have him grab some mozzarella cheese from our house on his way over, and that plus these ripe little tomatoes I got at the store and some fresh oregano should be pretty delicious. Do you have any garlic?"

"Garlic powder," Martha replied, offering him the bottle.

Ianto winced, "I'll have him bring some garlic too…"

"I think Ianto's poor little heart would give out if he saw the state of my kitchen." Siobhan confided to Martha in a stage whisper.

"I should have listened to my mum and settled down with a nice Welsh girl in the countryside where she could make me Cawl and rub my feet," Ianto griped playfully as he pulled out his mobile, "I'll step outside and give Jack a call."

Once he had disappeared around the corner, Martha turned to Siobhan expectantly, "So, Ianto looks fit today."

"Does he always dress like that?"

"The Doctor, that's Jack's father, has always been a sort of role model for Ianto. He's the father that Ianto never had, and he wears these slim tight suits all of the time. Ianto seems to have taken that as inspiration," Martha explained, "I think it suits him."

"It does. I'm a sucker for waistcoats," Siobhan smiled back. "It's not often you find blokes who worry about their appearance."

"Wait until you meet Jack," Martha laughed. "I'll never understand how he wears period military clothing and avoids getting bashed."

"He'll tell you that it's the jaw line," Ianto reappeared suddenly. "I'll tell you it's because he was born running. He never sticks around long enough for people to figure out if he's playing a joke or not."

"Is he bringing the food?"

"Yup: he had already left so he had to turn back to get it, but should be here soon."

"Shall we pop open that bottle of wine you brought and enjoy ourselves until he gets here?"

"I'll tell you what. You two take the bottle out to Owen and Tom. I'll get to work fixing this disaster and then hopefully it will not take too long once Jack gets here." He shooed them out of the kitchen, and let out a huge sigh once they left. He briefly contemplated letting the chaos reign in hopes that it would keep the focus off the obvious set-up the others were planning.

Instead, he grabbed an apron from the rack and slid it over his head. He was so absorbed in his work that he didn't notice Jack's arrival until the older boy was pressed up against his back with his lips against his neck, "Can we have a weekend where you wear just an apron and nothing else? Do you realize where the bow of this would rest if you weren't wearing trousers?"

Ianto shoved him away, "Not here Jack. Did you bring the food?"

"That's not all I brought," his voice was gravelly as he pressed up against Ianto's thigh.

Jack could practically feel the other boy roll his eyes as he asked, "Are you sure you didn't forget something: Such as your self-control?"

"If I brought everything do I get a reward later?" Jack's lips moved down to nibble at the soft curve of Ianto's left ear.

"If you behave you might get one," Ianto responded, pulling away to look in the bag that Jack brought him. After a moment of browsing he looked up sharply, "Did you remember to pick up Gwen?"

Jack grinned sheepishly and ran his hand threw his hair (not in the traditional method of ruffling the top, but instead up the short hairs at the back of his head), "Was I supposed to do that?"

"Jack!" Ianto admonished, launching into a lecture.

After a moment of Ianto's berating, Jack finally admitted, "She was running a bit late. I said I would go pick up the food first and then Owen volunteered to go get her."

Ianto frowned slightly, "Okay. Well, go entertain the girls and leave me in peace. Oh, and please don't chat up Tom again."

"Jealous?"

"Hardly," Ianto snorted, "You know it makes him uncomfortable. He's never going to allow you to another one of these parties if you pull a stunt like last time."

"Of course he will. He's addicted to your food and he knows you will not come if I'm not invited," Jack smirked.

"You think rather highly of our friendship," Ianto deadpanned, "But on the contrary, I would be more inclined to attend these dinners in your absence."

"So you wouldn't have competition for these fit girls Martha keeps parading in front of you?" Jack's voice had taken on a quality that Ianto might have qualified as jealously if it hadn't been Jack talking at the time.

"Siobhan isn't like the other girls," Ianto replied, unable to prevent his eyebrow from arching at Jack's strange tone. "I actually like her. She's the one I sat with when you ditched me."

Jack's gaze hardened immediately, "Will you get over that already. I had the opportunity to sit next to a pretty girl and I took it. Christ, Ianto. You can be such a girl sometimes."

Ianto was at a loss as to how the conversation had taken such a turn. He wasn't quite sure how to respond so he blinked at Jack a couple of times and then responded carefully, "I think you of all people would be well acquainted with how much of a man I am."

The corner of Jack's mouth twitched upwards in amusement of its own accord. However, this did not prevent him from storming out of the room anyway. Ianto thought about being concerned for a moment, but then decided against it: he had a disaster to avert. An hour later he brought the serving bowl of pasta out to the table to find Jack flirting with Siobhan with the enthusiasm as if he had been trapped in a monastery for a year.

"I like to go to the driving range once a week at least. Shoot a couple of rounds," Jack was telling her. His arm was casually draped across the back of her chair.

"That sounds fun. I've always wanted to try," Gwen interrupted.

Jack looked over at her and winked, "I could take you some time and teach you a few things. I taught Ianto how. I'm a good teacher."

"If a bit unorthodox," Ianto muttered quietly, remembering their first 'lesson' fondly, but he was unable to prevent himself from hoping that Gwen's lessons wouldn't be as 'extensive' as his were. Once he had set everything out on the table he took the only open chair (on Siobhan's other side) and found that Jack seemed to be quizzing Siobhan about her life.

"You're studying art? That's not exactly a real major, is it?"

She smiled brightly at him, "I know it seems like a fluff major, but I intend to become a high-priced art dealer. I have a lot of connections among that community."

"Do you have family in the business?"

Her face fell slightly as she answered, "Not exactly."

"What does that mean?"

Siobhan looked startled at the sudden icy tone in his voice, but he smiled when she peered over at him questioningly. Deciding that she had been mistaken, she replied, "My Father was an Art thief. He's in prison because of it."

"So are you training to become an Art dealer or to follow your father's footsteps?"

Martha gasped and exclaimed, "Jack!"

Siobhan looked hurt as she answered, "I've seen what he did to our family and I have no wish to repeat his mistakes. Who better to realize a piece is a forgery than the daughter of the man who was the best at making forgeries?"

"Aren't you worried that prospective clients might worry about you stealing their works?" Jack continued to interrogate her.

Ianto interrupted coldly, "I think many people realize that you can't help who your Father is. Not all of us had childhoods worth reenacting."

For the first time since Ianto had sat down at the table Jack looked over at him with a guilty look on his face. "Sorry."

Ianto shook his head and stood up from the table, "I think you should go, Jack. I'll put some dinner in a box for you."

The others watched as Jack and Ianto silently walked into the kitchen and once the pair had vanished around the corner, everyone began talking at once. Martha smiled apologetically at Siobhan, "I'm sorry about Jack. I really don't know what got into him."

"It's okay. It was rather unexpected though."

"It's Ianto," Martha tried to explain. "Jack's a bit… protective of him."

"He doesn't want Ianto to have a life of his own, because then he won't be able to jump to Jack's every whim at all times." Owen said.

"Contrary to belief, Owen, I'm not Jack's dog." Ianto had reappeared, nursing a split lip.

Tosh gasped, "Did Jack hit you?"

"No. Of course he didn't hit me."

Gwen got up from the table as she heard the front door slam, "I'm going to go check on Jack. Thanks for the meal Martha."


"Siobhan was very pretty," Tosh mentioned slyly as they walked up to their door.

"If you don't shag her then I will," Owen told Ianto as they entered.

Jack's head immediately snapped around to them from where he sat on the threadbare couch with Gwen's head lolled across his lap and his hand tangled in her hair. He sneered at the group, "She'll probably do you both if you ask nicely."

Ianto shot a pained look at Jack before disappearing down the hallway muttering, "I'm going to take a shower."

Owen snorted when he saw Gwen drooling on Jack's thigh, "Only the second night of classes and she's knackered. I'd better get her to bed."

"I can do it," Jack started to protest but Owen had already scooped up Gwen's sleeping form in his arms and was following Ianto towards the hall.

Tosh's eyes didn't leave Owen's back until long after he had turned the corner. When they finally did she noticed that Jack was staring at her knowingly. Turning a pleasant shade of pink Tosh abruptly changed the subject, "So you and Gwen looked close."

Jack shrugged, "She's a nice girl."

She smiled at him encouragingly, "Yeah? So has anything happened there then?"

"Well it was kind of more of a thank you on her part. For you know…being nice or something. On the way back from Martha's we found this little kitten names Carys stuck on the porch in the rain and I brought it back to the owners listed on the tag."

Tosh smiled at him, "Sweet. So then what happened?"

"We kissed," Jack admitted.

"When was this?" A scratchy voice asked from behind them and they turned to find Ianto standing in the kitchen doorway with two steaming mugs clutched tightly in his hands.

"About an hour ago," Jack responded coolly.

Ianto cleared his throat loudly, "Right, of course."

Tosh looked back and forth between the two men: Jack's eyes were challenging and focused on Ianto, while Ianto's eyes were darting around avoiding looking at anyone. After a few moments he cleared his throat again and turned to escape to his bedroom. It was at that moment Jack spoke up, "Is one of those coffees for me?"

Ianto turned, his eyes wide, as he looked at Jack and then down at the two cups in his hands, and then up at Jack again before mumbling, "What? Oh, no. I just wanted a lot of coffee. I thought I'd bring two mugs so I wouldn't have to go back for more. So… yeah…bye then."

"I don't think I've ever heard Ianto stutter before," Tosh stated after Ianto's door had firmly shut, looking over at Jack, "One of us should go see what he's upset about."

"Better you than me."

"He's your best friend," Tosh told him, "Besides my displutonic resonator simulation will have run its course by now and I have to go examine the findings before meeting with my research professor tomorrow afternoon."

"Sometimes I feel like you just make up technical sounding words to confuse us so we'll do whatever you tell us to," Jack laughed, stretching languidly as he unfurled his body slowly from the seat.

"Until you master Advanced Theoretical Physics you will never know. Go on then." Tosh shooed him out of the room and towards the closed door.

Jack rapped on the door in the loud sure way he was accustomed to and grabbed the knob to open the door without even giving Ianto a chance to reply. The door didn't budge and Jack poked his head around the corner to look at Tosh, "It's locked. Since when do these doors have locks?"

"They don't," Tosh replied. "I had to buy a new doorknob with a lock to prevent Owen from barging into my room last term to ask for help with his studies."

Jack bent down to peer at Ianto's doorknob curiously, "It looks the same as mine."

Owen snorted as he came out of his bedroom to see what the commotion was, "Honestly did neither of you ever argue with your parents?"

"What does that have to do with anything?" Jack asked exasperatedly.

Owen sighed dramatically, "He probably just jimmied his desk chair under the door knob so then it can't turn."

The pair turned to Owen in surprise. Tosh blinked rapidly from behind her glasses and said, "That's actually sort of brilliant."

Owen shook his head at the flabbergasted pair, "So brilliant every ten year old with strict parents or nosey siblings figured it out but two 'adults' couldn't?"

"He might have a point," Tosh told Jack, pushing her glasses up her nose a little bit.

Owen rubbed his forehead slowly as he turned to reenter his room but before he shut the door behind him he said, "Here's another point. You have a connecting bathroom that locks from the inside and the doors open inward."

Jack raced through his own door, but returned to where Tosh waited in dismay. Tosh smiled at him and asked kindly, "He locked your side of the lavatory from the inside didn't he?"

"Yup: I'm going to bed then. I'll see you in the morning Tosh," Jack sighed. However, he soon found that he couldn't fall asleep. An hour later found him listening to the sounds of Ianto puttering around in the lavatory and watching the shadows of his movement flutter across the swath of light leaking out from the crack between the door and the carpet. The beam became almost entirely obscured for a moment and Jack heard the tell tale sound of his side of the lavatory door unlocking before the light switched off.

Jack flipped over to lie on his other side and was immediately faced with the neon glow of his bedside clock. He stared at the slowly changing numbers for another twenty minutes before sliding out of bed and padding through the lavatory. He slowly cracked open the door leading to Ianto's room and peered in. He could just make out a lump under the duvet

After some time had passed the lump spoke, "Jack, what are you doing?"

Feeling rather caught out Jack replied sullenly, "Nothing."

"You can't tell because it's dark, but I am currently raising one eyebrow at you."

"I was cold."

"There are spare blankets in the cupboard in the hall."

"I kind of hoped I wouldn't need a blanket. Actually what I have in mind doesn't involve any sort of clothing." Jack's hundred watt smile could almost be seen through the darkness.

Ianto's voice was terse as he replied, "I was sleeping Jack."

"Is that an invitation?"

Ianto switched his bedside lamp on and rubbed his eyes tiredly, he looked like he was about to say something but apparently changed his mind and just switched off the lamp again and said simply: "Not tonight Jack."