Disclaimer: If IchiRuki is confirmed, Bleach becomes a shoujo manga with the odd fight here and there which makes no sense and all the characters are Mary Sues, you'll know it belongs to me. Till then all rights to the great Tite Kubo.

Alone

He walks through the corridors of the Sixth Squad building. He's wearing his usual kimono with a floral pattern. The rokubantai is full of people going about their usual work but he feels detached, isolated. People who don't know him can't tell the difference but they are few and far in between. After all has he not spent decades fostering good relationships with his squad members?

"Abarai fukutaicho," someone calls. He plasters on his usual grin and turns around. Some paperwork. Needs his signature. He finishes the work and leaves with a casual grin but the boy who called him has been with the division for a long time. The rank and file officer knows his lieutenant well enough to realize that something is wrong with Abarai fukutaicho and that something has been wrong with him for a long time.

He can sense the junior officer's gaze on his back but chooses to ignore it. There is nothing they can do. Looking out of the window he happens to see her and another knife twists in his heart. She is clearly happy with that strawberry from the human world- her violet eyes are dancing with unheard laughter as she looks at the substitute Shinigami. She is happy, so he tells himself that he should be happy for her but he is not.

Yet, he can't bring himself to resent her or his friend. It's not their fault he fell in love with her and her raven locks. It's not their fault he's wishing he was the one out there making her laugh. It's not their fault that the sight of her which once brought him joy now brings him only pain. It was his fault for not telling her how much he loved her. For not even telling her that he did love her. All the blame falls on him and that is what hurts the most.