Seven Days

Series

Day One

Disclaimer: I do not own the Dead Poets Society. If I did, would I be writing this? If anything, I would be writing a sequel about the next generation of poets if I owned it.

A/N: I know, I know. Bad author for not updating for over a month. Hey, here I am though and updating. The college life is something unpredictable and all. I want to thank all of you who reviewed last time. I love hearing your thoughts! So please, enjoy, read and review as always.

The clock chimed suddenly and at 12:01am, it signaled the beginning of day number one.

Early in the morning, the hushed sound of shuffling footsteps in the hallway, and muffled voices of fellow students was enough to wake up Todd. He rolled over, his eyes still shut, and surprised to feel that someone was in the bed next to him. He knew who it was instantly, but that one naïve, hopeful part of his brain let him pretend it was Neil. That he could curl up into the boy and hear the heartbeat and strong, deep, steady breaths that were radiating from his body. That same heart that had held so much passion and love for life. The same heart that was soon to be six feet under, surrounded by wood and velvet. His stomach rolled at the thought and he opened his eyes, coming face to face with the sleeping form of Charlie Dalton. The thought of getting up was terrifying. It was the day of Neil's funeral and Todd wasn't sure if he would be able to make it through. He would though. He would because the others needed him, and Neil would want him to be strong.

Sighing, he propped himself up on his elbow and shook his friend. When he got no response he rolled his eyes and shook him harder. "Charlie! Wake up," he told him softly.

Charlie groaned and rolled over, hiding his face in Todd's pillow. "Go away," he groaned.

Todd raised an eyebrow. "This is my room, Charlie."

That seemed to wake Charlie up because he lifted his head from the pillow and glanced around. "Oh. You're right," he mumbled before sitting up. Todd followed his example.

As if by some silent agreement, the two looked over at Neil's bed at the same time and stared. It wasn't going to be easy for any of them. It'd be incredibly hard for Charlie. But for Todd, it'd be like going to his own funeral as well. Todd cleared his throat to speak first. "I guess we should get ready." Charlie nodded and got up, wandering back to his dorm to get changed.

Todd continued to sit there for a moment before getting up. He smoothed out the blankets on his bed and fluffed his pillow into place. It was made the same way he did every morning. Some level of normalcy was a great comfort to him. He had showered the night before and he was due at the hall soon. He had to change. Todd wandered over to the closet that he used to share and opened it. A black suit hung there as if in a way to mock him. Glaring, he tore it off the hanger and ripped off his pajamas before pulling it on. The dress shirt sat smoothly on his torso and the tie was correctly in place. Todd's shoes were pulled on next and he grabbed his bag of toiletries.

After drawing in a deep breath, he exited the dorm and pulled the door shut behind him. All of the boys of the school were to attend the funeral that was taking place not too far from campus. It was in the local cemetery since Neil's parents found it fitting. After all, they believed their son had his greatest moments at Welton. They were so close yet so far off it was a shame. He practically stumbled down the hall and into the bathroom. Without even looking at a mirror yet, he brushed his teeth, taking his time since he was already so exhausted.

The next phase was to try and comb his hair. Todd shoved his toothbrush back into the bag before removing the comb. When his eyes hit the mirror he gasped quietly in surprise and nearly dropped the plastic comb in the sink. What happened to him? His usually sparkling eyes were dull. He had never seen them this way before. Sure, when he was sick they were lacking luster. But now? They looked as if he were a dead man walking already. He was pale and he looked like he had been through hell the night before. Which literally, was quite right. He hurriedly combed and smoothed out his hair before hurrying from the bathroom and tossing his things back into his room. If Todd could barely face himself, how was he to face this?

Once all of the guys were ready, they meandered down to the main hall to gather with everyone else who was going. The faculty and boys in their grade were all there. Neil's family would already be at the gravesite and a few of the older and younger boys were there as well. Neil's parents had sent for two cars for their son's closest friends. They needed to get there first and it was easier. The car pulled up and Todd crawled into the back, pressed in-between Charlie and Meeks. Pitts, Cameron and Knox took the second car that came up behind them. Silence was the way to go for the car ride over. The driver didn't bother saying anything and none of the boys felt like it. Each of them was mentally preparing themselves for what was about to take place.

Todd hadn't even realized they'd arrived until the car came to a stop. As if on auto-pilot, he followed Meeks out of the car and into the main building of the cemetery. Mr. Perry was there and Todd's gaze immediately dropped to the floor. He found that he could barely stand to look at him. In fact, he couldn't so he just nodded as the six boys were given instructions. In ten minutes, once everyone was situated they were to carry the casket out to the lawn where Neil was to be buried. In a way it was an honor to be carrying a casket. That was a whole lot of trust. On the other hand, Todd would be carrying the casket of his dead best friend on his shoulder. At the mere mental image he trembled and only stopped when he felt Charlie's hand on his back to steady him. Out of all of them, Charlie could see through him the best. And Todd wasn't sure if that was such a good thing or not.

Ten minutes slowly passed by with the boys awkwardly waiting in the front room. One of the cemetery workers gently told them that everyone was ready for them. Todd could see the pity in her eyes and he loathed her for it. None of them should be there right now. It wasn't right. Goddammitt, Neil! This shouldn't be happening! Gulping, the procession of boys was led to the casket they were to carry. It was a richly colored, dark wood. The kind of wood that Neil loved. And already, as they all took their spots Todd could feel a lump growing in his throat. Charlie was on the left side and at the front while Todd was at the front and on the right. Simultaneously, each boy lifted the casket and they left the building. Their walk was slow and morose, faces from the nearby plot already turning to look at them. As they walked down the stairs the weight inside could be felt and shifted every so slightly. And Todd barely managed to hold back a cry of anguish. That was Neil inside. Their leader. Their friend. His everything. And there wasn't a fucking thing any of them could do about it.

Todd tried to mask any kind of emotion on his face. He didn't want to have a complete breakdown around the crowd of people that Neil knew. No, this wasn't the right time. This wasn't the right place. Carefully, the boys placed the casket on the machine that would lower it into the ground. Even though the physical weight was gone from his body, it now felt tripled to Todd. Still silent, he took his spot near the front with the friends he had left and stared at the casket as the pastor spoke. The pastor spoke of the Lord and his love. He spoke of redemption and of how Neil Perry would find peace. He spoke of how everyone there today loved him in one way or another. And then he spoke of how even though suicide was a sin, he would still manage to find peace in the way they all prayed for the Lord to forgive him and have mercy on his soul. And as the casket started to lower in the ground and the pastor led them in pray, Todd shattered. He had been cracked and jagged and broken before. But who the hell could do this? Who the hell could say Neil might not be at peace unless they controlled it? They were even trying to control Neil in death and Todd felt like he couldn't breathe. And as soon as the casket reached the Earth at the bottom of the grave, Todd ran.

I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, Neil! He just couldn't take it any longer. He'd tried so hard to just stand there and play the dutiful role of the best friend. But with everyone being there and everything that was being said and done, he had faltered. Todd knew people where watching him run and he could hear Knox and Charlie calling after him. He had no idea where he was going or what he was doing but he just had to move. Todd ran from the cemetery, his suit jacket blowing open in the wind as he ran down the sidewalk and his dress shoes making loud slapping sounds on the pavement as he went across the street. He dodged a car, nearly missing being hit by it and headed into the open field. Todd raced through it, the snow sloshing up onto his pants as he did. The cold was setting in from it but he didn't care. He felt much too alive and vulnerable while Neil was dead and unfeeling. The numbness from the snow that was setting into his limbs only matched the second half of his heart.

Todd turned when he heard his name again but kept running. He could see Knox across the street but Charlie dashing across the field after him. Panting, he managed to shout back at them. "Leave me alone!" he ordered. It must have been his tone and the panic in his eyes but it stopped Charlie cold and helpless as Todd finished with the field and entered the forest. Stumbling over rocks and fallen tree limbs, he made his way deeper into the heart of the woods. His leather dress shoes were scuffed and getting ruined. His tie had gone loose and a bush had torn his jacket. But still, he didn't stop running. The way it felt like his heart was going to burst from the lack of oxygen only fueled him on more. His vision had gone blurry from the tears that were now shamelessly streaking down his cheeks and dropping to the frozen floor. His breaths were turned more complicated from the running and sobbing. The sounds of his heartbreak echoed across the frozen, snow covered forest without a living being in site.

Unsure of how much time had passed, Todd found himself in a familiar part of the forest. Yes, he knew where he was. His mind must've found it without him even realizing it. Two more sharp right turns and the old Indian cave came into view. Desperate, Todd flung himself inside, tripping over one of the lower rocks and skidding on the cave floor. His hands were covered in a mixture from the snow seeping in from the opening and the deep crimson of blood. Instead of getting up, Todd lay there, defeated on the ground and sobbed. "Neil!" he cried. "Oh God, Neil!" And with those two exclamations, Todd shattered the rest of the way down and was a few hours closer to his demise.

A/N: I summed it up but I figured it was a pretty decent way to stop for a chapter. Right?