A/N: I'm kind of nervous posting this chapter…

Not much to say besides thank you for the reviews, alerts, favorites, and rec's! Let me know what you think :)

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight…it belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I just wish I had Rob and his amazing Beastie Boys shirt…


I came back from the bathroom and nearly knocked into a group of college kids. I half expected them to bitch me out, like was so custom in Chicago, but instead they just laughed it off and one guy even gave me a nice pat on the back.

Maybe I was going to like Boston.

When I clumsily got back to the table Rosalie was still texting with my brother. I was beginning to wonder if she ever did anything else.

"Roooose-alieeee," I sang to her, in the tune of 'Gloria', and began serenading her with songs I was making up as I went along.

I wasn't drunk. I was tipsy. And I felt good.

"Shut up, Bella, you're drunk," she swatted my hand away.

"Oh, come on…you can text my brother later," I pulled on the end of her hair.

"Bella, I me-," she looked up at me and stopped short. Even in my drunken haze I noticed her look behind me and stiffen. Her whole demeanor had changed.

"What?" I asked her.

"No-nothing…listen, I think we should go," she stood up to retrieve her coat and started putting it on.

"But, I'm still having fun!" I protested.

"No, Bella," she glanced behind me again. "Really, I think we should go."

She looked behind me again. Something was off and there was something here at McMillian's pub that had Rosalie's panties in a twist.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I turned my head to look behind me when she grabbed my wrist.

"Bella, here…"she shoved her drink at me, trying to distract me. But I wasn't drunk enough to fall for it and she was getting me angrier by the minute.

"Rose, stop!" I tried twisting my body again, but she grabbed my shoulders.

"GET OFF ME!" I roared and if the bar weren't so loud and crowded, I would've most likely made a scene. Pushing my embarrassment aside, I looked behind me, to the spot where Rose had been fixated on for the last few minutes.

And immediately I wished I hadn't. Because no less than five feet away from me was Edward Cullen, drinking a pint of beer with his bitch of a manager Jane Volturi.

"Holy fuck," I hissed at Rosalie. "What is he doing in Boston?"

"I have no idea," Rosalie shook her head. "Why is he sitting out in the open? Why isn't he in a VIP area?"

"This shittastic bar is like a 4x4. It has no room for VIP," I retorted.

"Come on, let's go," she grabbed my arm. "He hasn't seen you yet."

And for once, I let her lead me out of my seat towards the door without complaint.

"Fuck!" I stopped in my tracks. "My phone, I left it on the table."

"I'll get it," Rose commanded. "Stay. Here."

I just nodded and watched her walk back towards the table. I turned my head towards Edward's table and noticed it was now empty. I scanned the small pub inconspicuously and didn't spot him, but saw his manager Jane waiting by the men's restroom.

I pulled my coat higher up and grabbed a menu from the table beside me, trying to hide my face.

Who the fuck was I? Lucille Ball?

I peered over the menu and sighed in relief when I saw Rosalie's approaching form clutching my cell phone in her hand. She was, literally, two seconds away from me when it happened.

She slammed right into Jane.

And right beside Jane?

Edward.

"Rosalie Hale?" The butterflies in my stomach that had fled three years ago were back. I slouched further into the chair and prayed no one would notice me…menu still attached to my face and all.

"Uh…"I heard Rosalie stutter. "No hablo ingles, senor."

"Rosalie…"I couldn't see what was going on, but I now could imagine Edward grabbing a hold of Rosalie to steady her.

"Um, no, no se? Me llamo Maria, no Rose."

Edward laughed. "You always were funny when you were drunk."

"Shut the fuck up, asshole! You don't know anything about me!"

And that's how Rosalie Hale blew our cover.

My eyes went wide and I dropped my menu, leaving it to clatter onto the table. The bar was, again, noisy, but the movement cause three sets of eyes to turn towards me.

"B-Bella?"

Shit.

I looked at Rose, who looked like a deer in headlights and I only imagined I mimicked her expression. My eyeballs were practically playing a tennis match between Rose and Edward.

"Bella?" he repeated again.

Rosalie snapped out of it. "Stop repeating her name like you rode the short bus to school, Dickwad."

He just ignored her and cautiously approached me. "Is it…really you?"

"Uh…um…uhh," Beautiful mastering of the English language there, Bella!

I hopped off the bar stool and quickly waved Rose over, signaling that we had no time for games and she needed to haul ass out of the bar.

"Stop!" Edward blocked Rosalie from joining me and gently grabbed my arm.

"Don't touch her!" Rose yelled at him tugging his arm, which was still holding my arm.

"Owwww," I hissed at her making her stop her movement and look at me apologetically.

When Edward began rubbing soothingly on the spot on my arm where I had suffered the damage, I yanked it away.

"Don't you dare," I seethed.

"I'm-um, I'm sorry," he stammered.

"Bella," Jane pushed her way through Edward and extended her hand. "It's a pleasure to see you again."

Really? A handshake?

I took her hand. "Nice to see you again as well, Jane."

"So what brings you to Boston?"

"Work."

"Oh, so what is it you do now?" she was kind of yelling over the loud music.

"Reporter." I figured one word answers would suffice.

"Oh, how wonderful for you! You are from Boston, right?"

That heifer knew I was from Chicago.

"Nope, Chicago."

"Oh, well what a small world!" she slapped her knee. "The rest of the Dave Baxter series is being filmed in Boston!"

Okay, someone up there really must hate me. It figures the day I finally put on my big girl panties and find a real job falls on the same day I run into Edward Cullen – again – in some seedy no-name bar.

"Oh, well," I stammered looking at him for the first time since this whole debacle occurred. I should have noticed…he was in full Dave Baxter form. His hair was the perfect length and oozed sex. In fact, I loved tugging on it when he went downtown…which was often because he loved doing that.

Oh, um…

He had a stellar body. Dave Baxter was a part of the FBI and had to have a killer six pack. You know, for those times he just has to rip off his shirt during the Miami heat. Anyway, that meant Edward Cullen had to have a killer six pack. He was a bit scrawnier than Jake, but I had always loved Edward's body – whether he had six pack or a beer belly.

And the scruff? Oh…that scruff. Many a time I had to wear skirts after he went down on me because the scruff from his five o'clock shadow turned my thighs raw.

And I loved it.

I now realized I was pretty much salivating at the mouth, recounting the oral pleasures from one, Edward Cullen, and looked back to three curious sets of eyes.

"Enjoy your stay in Boston," I squeaked out and internally berated myself for sounding like a travel guide at the airport.

"Rosalie, Jane," he turned to the two of them. "May I have a moment alone with Bella?"

This was it. This was the moment I had been waiting for, for three years.

Closure.

And suddenly, I didn't want it. I didn't want us to be over. If I never got closure, I never had to fully move on.

"No!" I yelled out before my brain could filter myself.

"Please?" Edward turned to me.

"It's, uh," I scratched the back on my neck, like an excuse was suddenly going to come to me. "Uh, well.."

"It's a new city and Bella and I promised ourselves we wouldn't separate from each other," Rose finished for me.

"You'll be with Jane and Bella will be with me," Edward argued. "Five minutes."

"And what happened when all she wanted was five minutes, you fucker?" Rose spat in his face. "Your cow of a sister and dick of an agent couldn't even give her your new number so she could talk to you! So, no, we'll talk on our terms!"

Edward ignored her and turned to me with a confused look on his face. "What is she talking about?"

"I'll tell you what I'm talking about," Rose continued, not even giving me a second to intervene and respond. "My best friend was going to go against everything her mother, grandmother Moore, and grandmother Swan taught her and beg your ass back, but you changed your number and no one would give it to her. She took a red-eye flight to California and your agent, Twatface McGee, slammed the door in her face when she arrived at your old apartment! Oh, not before threatening to sue her for stalking! She's been in therapy for almost a year because of your-"

"Rose!" Ugh, facepalm. My best friend was spewing my most embarrassing secrets and while I understood why, I needed her to shut up.

"Oh," she flushed. "Sorry." She looked at me sheepishly and shrugged one shoulder.

I only looked at Rose. "Now that I want to die of embarrassment, can we go?"

Edward's hand shot out blocking her and I from each other.

"Bella," he turned to me. "Five minutes. Apparently there's been a bit of a mis-communication."

"You had you-," Rose shut up when he shot her a dirty look.

"Thank you for being her spokesperson, Rosalie," Edward hissed. "But, she's an adult. She can speak for herself, thank you!"

"I don't think it's a good idea," I sputtered out nervously.

"Please?"

"I don't know…"

"Bella, there's things we need to say. Things…I need you to know."

"Write her a letter!" Rose shouted.

"Why don't…"Jane turned to Rose. "Rosalie, was it?" Rosalie rolled her eyes and nodded. "Why don't we go get a drink and meet you two back at the hotel in twenty minutes?"

"No way," Rosalie protested.

"Ok, these Mama Bear instincts are cute, but give me twenty minutes," Edward tried to compromise.

"I have to be her Mama Bear," Rosalie pointed to herself. "She has no one else." Ouch. "Well, maybe Jake."

Rose smirked to herself.

Edward's face scrunched up and looked my way. "Jake?"

"He's-."

"Her boyfriend!" Rose interrupted. "And he'll kill you, so I'll grab a drink with Jane and play nice, but hear me now, Cullen. I'm in law school. I know big name lawyers. I could kill you and get off scot-free!"

Face palm. How did I never notice how embarrassing she was?

"Duly noted," Edward rolled his eyes and pulled out his wallet. He handed Jane a $50 bill and we both watched as she – and a reluctant Rosalie – walked towards the bar.

"Shall we?" Edward gestured for me to begin walking.

"Where are we going?" I asked and then stopped in my tracks. "And you know, you never once asked me if I wanted to talk to you."

"I'm staying at the Four Seasons," he ignored my last statement.

"Lead the way," I gestured for him to pass ahead of me and he grabbed my hand, causing me surprise.

I pulled my hand free and warned him. "Don't."

"I was 'leading the way', Swan."

"Stop that," I shoved him roughly.

"Stop what?" He shot me a dirty look and rubbed his arm where I had just shoved him.

"Stop trying to hold my hand and call me by my old nick name. Stop trying to pretend we haven't spoken in three years. Stop trying to have such familiarity with me."

I could tell he was having an internal battle with himself. I knew Edward and I knew him well. I knew who he used to be and three years without contact wouldn't change it.

I knew he wanted to put me in my place and tell me to stop being such a heinous bitch. Especially after spending the last three years having 'what if's' hang over my head. But he wouldn't, because it would get us nowhere, and Edward was always, admittedly, a little bit more mature than I was.

When we stepped outside, there was a black SUV already waiting for him. He opened the door and gestured for me to get in, so I did, and placed my purse in the middle seat so that he wouldn't be on top of me, like I knew he probably would've tried to do.

"Four Seasons, Mr. Cullen?" The chauffeur asked and Edward nodded his head in agreement. From the rear view mirror I saw the driver look me up and down, taking in my outfit, and waggle his eyebrows.

Ew.

I've been around enough men in my life to know what he was thinking. He was probably thinking I was some bar slut Edward picked up, throwing his celebrity status around to get some pussy for the night. And secretly I wondered if that was who Edward was now.

And then more word vomit when I noticed the driver still looking at me. "Eyes on the road, douchebag!"

Edward groaned into his palm. "What the fuck, Bella?"

"Tell, this fucker here to stop looking at me like he wants to fuck me! And stop cussing around me like you know me."

Edward laughed. "I do know you."

"No, you know the old me."

"I know all of you and your personalities, Bella," he teased.

"Stop it! Stop with the familiarity." I shrieked at him and he stiffened besides me.

Not many people know how Goddamn adorable Edward is. How he has that dry, witty British humor and him teasing me and telling me jokes always calmed my nerves.

And it was working now…sort of, but I still had my guard up and was blocking every advance I could. How dare he walk into my life three years later and pretend everything was fine? That we were dear old friends and he could call me 'Swan' and I would call him 'Cullen' and we'd make up instantly!

The rest of the ride to his hotel was silent. It only took a couple minutes from the bar, but I needed to get the hell out of dodge.

"I'm not going into your hotel room," I told him as we walked into the hotel.

He glanced around. "Bella, I'm not sure there's much privacy elsewhere."

I couldn't tell him that if I went to his hotel room, there would be a slight slight chance that I'd forgo talking and pin him to the bed. My cooter missed his peen. And it was a perfect penis, too. It was not too long – maybe seven inches…average?...but it was thick and always hard and it curved slightly…not too much and it wasn't too noticeable, but it hit my g-spot every fucking time. When Edward and I had sex, I usually always had a g-spot orgasm and a clitoral orgasm. The bed was usually one, big ass wet spot and I'd usually wake up wrapped in an Edward Cullen-ball in said wet spot. Then I'd get up to change the sheets cause the smell was vomiticous, and then we'd end up fucking again effectively ruining two sets of sheets-

"Bella?" Edward snapped a finger in front of my face and I hated myself.

I hadn't talked to him in three years and he wanted to give me closure- finally- and set the record straight…he finally wanted to give me the breakup I deserved. I knew he did, because Edward Cullen is a very jealous man and the thought of another guy even speaking to me made him upset, yet he didn't bat an eye at the mention of Jake.

Anyway, so I'm getting what I want…what I need…and I can't stop thinking about his cock.

Oh, wow, but it's sooo nice…

God, I'm so inappropriate.

"Bella, you're worrying me…"

"Lead the way, Edward."

We reached the 34th floor and made our way to Edward's suite. I couldn't shake the sense of déjà vu…of being in another suite with Edward Cullen…in another foreign city.

"I-I-I don't know where to begin, Bella," Edward took a seat in one of the plush ivory chairs in the suite's sitting area.

I just stood. And didn't respond.

And couldn't hold back tears. GOD FUCKING DAMNIT!

Edward shot up like a pistol. "Please, please don't cry."

He wiped away the tears, which were now streaming down my face, with the pads of his thumbs and offered me a crooked smile. The smile I loved so much. The smile that I knew was genuine. Not that big ass cheesy smile on the cover of billboards or in magazines.

"I didn't…I didn't want to," I choked out in between sobbing fests. "I have been waiting for this moment for three years and it's going exactly how I didn't want it to."

We were both silent, urging the other to speak first.

He took the bait.

"Bella," He began slowly, still holding onto my face. "I know what I'm about to say is going to ping your bullshit factor, but I swear to you…I'm being truthful."

I looked at him with wondering eyes, silently pleading him to continue. He sighed and removed my face from his hands and gestured for me to sit.

I watched him pace the floor as he began. "I didn't want to let you go. I never meant for you to walk out that door, but it was something I had been thinking about for awhile."

He paused and tried to gauge my reaction before continuing.

"A week before you came out to see me, I got a terrifying phone call from Irina Stolov-"

"The girl who plays Maggie?" I interrupted, confused.

"Yes," he nodded. "Some dumb rag magazine printed an article that we were together…friends with benefits or something and that I wanted more from her. It was bullshit, of course. I was with you and even though you still might not believe me, I was never unfaithful to you. "

I nodded from him to continue.

"She and I share a publicist – you met her I believe – Sharon Cope? Anyway, not important…it was Sharon's birthday and Irina and I were at some mall in Miami picking out a gift for her and some sale's girl sold a fake story to gain publicity to her store. When Irina flew back to LA the following day after the article was published, her house had been defiled. Someone wrote on her garage 'Stay Away From Him Whore' and she was getting threatening mail and people were mailing her voodoo dolls and it was a mess."

"Wow," I breathed out. I had met Irina a few times and she was such a nice girl I couldn't help but feel horrible for her.

"She ended up having to sell her home and move to escape the rabid fans who were threatening her," he explained. "When she called me, I immediately thought of you. Living alone. If anyone knew the truth about us…I didn't want you to get hurt."

"Why didn't you tell me at the time?" I asked him.

"I didn't want to scare you or put any ideas in your head, I guess," he shrugged.

"And that's why you let me walk out the door? After two years, Edward, really?"

"I had to leave you to protect you. I wanted you to have a normal life. I didn't anticipate the stardom or level of fame I had acquired and I needed to protect you."

"If-if you would've just explained that to me…I would've tried to understand."

"I did try to. You were so caught up in the whole Kate Denali thing you weren't even thinking clearly."

I didn't know what to say, so I just apologized.

"Bella, you were the single greatest thing to ever happen to me. Before I met you I was living off my parents, barely working, drinking all day. I had no hopes or dreams or cares in the world. I wasn't depressed or anything, but I was just living to pass the day," he smiled weakly. "And when you came into my world…I spotted you from across the bar and as cheesy as it sounds…I just knew. I knew I had to get off my ass and do something…be someone. I knew a girl like you deserved more. I guess I just realized that after two years, I couldn't be more. Being with you saved me, yet I couldn't save you. Save you from ultimately experiencing the intrusion to your life. If you would've ever gotten hurt, I would…I-I-I, well, frankly I don't know what I would've done."

"But I did get hurt," I cried out. "Edward, you hurt me so badly. By letting me walk away…you hurt me. By…pretending to care, by pretending to beg me to stay…that hurt me then and it hurts me now."

"I was conflicted, Bella. I wanted you to go, but every time I envisioned you walking out the door, I'd say something so that you would stay. I wanted you to hate me because I didn't have the guts to turn you away if you would've come back to me. That's why I asked Alice to not speak with you any longer. That's why I changed my telephone number. I needed you to have a normal life. I needed you to go back to school and move on with your life. And I knew if you had called me, or came back to the room and asked me back, I would've run back to you. And I knew if that would've happened, it would've only hurt you."

"But you wanted to keep the relationship a secret and now you're telling me this was all…a rouse to get me to leave?"

"I'm such an asshole," Edward rubbed his face. "I used the only thing I knew that would offend you and ran with it. But then when you kept accusing me of cheating on you I got so pissed off."

"I thought you were," I admitted. "Now I know you weren't."

"Thank you," he quietly said.

"So, let me get this straight," I said, "you had planned the fight? You knew that by asking me to have a secret relationship it would piss me off? You knew that?"

He nodded.

"Because you wanted me to have a normal life?"

He nodded again.

"Well, fuck you Edward! I didn't have a normal life. I was miserable! My parents think I'm a fucking nut job and sent me to therapy. My mom practically printed out an ad in the yellow pages begging any boy to date me because I was so fucking broken after you and I broke up! I'm not the same girl I used to be and it's because of you!"

His face twisted in pain, but this time I didn't feel bad.

"I would've rather had a dumb delusional bitch, who thought you and her were destined to be together, stab me in the chest over the pain I suffered these past three years. Not only did I suffer the pain of losing you, but I lost your sister and Jasper and your family. You know how much they meant to me, Edward! All because you wanted me to be normal!" I seethed. I got in his face. "And the pain of thinking I wasn't good enough for you? That you didn't want me? Well fuck you. Thank you for this meeting because now I know that I'm better than you because never in a million years would I ever hurt you or cause you the pain I've suffered, Edward!"

I pushed against his chest, trying to hit him, when his arms reached out and grabbed me.

"I'm so sorry," I saw that he had tears in his eyes now.

"It's too late," I tried to wriggle out of his grasp. "Edward...you said such horrible things to me. You-you accused me of never loving you. You made me doubt myself..."

"I'm sorry," he repeated. "I was so conflicted during that fight. I wanted you to stay... to move to be with me, but I also wanted you to leave and never look back. I wanted more for you, and I wanted to piss you off, but at the same time...I never wanted to let you go. I'm such a fucking hypocrite and I realize that, but God...I wanted so much more for you than what we had. And I knew you couldn't wait until the series was over, nor did I want you to. I didn't want to make you wait for five years! I just...don't...we...I never though things through and it ended up hurting us both."

"You made me think horrible things about myself. You made me…think you were using me."

"What are you-how was I using you?"

"Come on, Edward. I couldn't even stay with you in Miami because we had rent to pay."

"No we didn't," Edward looked confused.

"Oh, really? The bills can't pay themselves without income."

"Bella…what are you talking about? The studio was paying for our bills monthly per my contract…"

"What?" I was freaking out.

"As a part of my contract, for not being paid up front and taking a portion of the movie's earnings, the studio was paying our bills monthly…rent, car, food…why, why do you have that look on your face?"

"Edward, no one was paying anything," I protested. My heart was racing and my palms were sweating.

"But James-."

"Oh, my God, you negotiated with your devil of an agent? Oh God, Oh God, I think…I think I'm going to be sick…"

I ran into the nearest bathroom and puked up everything I had drunken at the bar, plus the dinner I had eaten. Edward followed closely behind me and held my hair for me while I emptied the contents of my stomach in the porcelain bowl.

"They weren't paying?" he whispered and I gained my bearings and sat beside him on the bathroom floor.

I shook my head no.

"Is that why you wouldn't quit your job? Because…because you were paying for things?"

I nodded.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I figured you knew! Why else would I work that shitty job?"

"You honestly, honestly, believed I would let you bear the burden of all that?" he turned to face me and grabbed my shoulders. "God dammit Bella. You should've come to me!"

I opened and closed my mouth several times, but no words came out.

"The rent…the bills…was more than…and I didn't…" he stammered out and because I knew him, I knew what he was trying to ask.

"Emmett. And Rosalie," I admitted.

"Holy fuck."

"I didn't want to burden you."

"So you burdened your brother and best friend?"

"I couldn't ask my parents and you didn't want to ask yours…"

"I told you I never wanted my parents to have to financially support me again, but if I would've known you were struggling…holy shit, Bella. You did all that? For me?"

"For us."

We were still sitting side by side on the cold tile floor of the bathroom.

"How much?" He questioned.

"Huh?"

"How much do you owe them? Your brother and Rosalie?"

"Like…$5000," I cringed.

"Give me their checking account information and I'll deposit the money tomorrow," he said.

"No," I waved my hands in front of my face. "No…this was my mistake. I-."

"Bella, this was not your mistake! I don't know what the fuck happened, but-"

"I know what happened," I interrupted him. "Movie studio and Agent Boy didn't want the new star of their series and future International Golden Boy to have a girlfriend. And they certainly didn't want to pay for her. James knew our situation…he knew I was living in the apartment. You were taken care of, you had a nice suite and well, you really had no bills anyway. The movie studio gave you a phone and whatever you needed, so they decided they'd make me suffer…to make me leave you. Ha, little did they know you were planning stuff all on your own."

"I don't think-."

"Don't even defend it," I dismissed him.

"I'm sure there was a communication error."

I snorted. "Stop being so naive."

Silence.

"Do you think…maybe if…the truth would've come out sooner, we could have…saved us?" It was the question I wanted to ask all night.

"Probably not," Edward admitted.

"Oh."

"I would've fired James right away," Edward continued. "But, I was too concerned with your safety."

More silence.

"I don't think I'll ever get over you," I quietly said into the room. I was admitting this to him because I had long ago admitted it to myself.

"I wish…oh God, Bella…I wish," his voice got shaky and I knew that he was most likely crying again.

"For what it's worth…I'm sorry for everything, Edward."

"I am, too."

"I'd say let's be friends, but that's unrealistic," I looked at him from under my lashes. "Right?"

"I can't be just friends with you, Bella."

"And we can't be together." It wasn't a question. "Am I'm not sure I can ever fully forgive you. I can, in hindsight, understand it, but I just don't think I'll ever forget how you made me feel."

He made a strangled sound. "I figured you couldn't."

I didn't know why I was about to tell him this, but I figured he should know. "I'm also with someone now. Romantically. He's a great guy…you'd like him."

"Doubtful," Edward muttered and then turned to me. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because," I sighed. "I…I think found someone who won't hurt me. That's what you wanted, right?" I bit my lip and waited for his reaction.

"No, Bella, that's not what I wanted."

"For what it's worth…if it's worth anything at all, I still love you." I didn't know what else to say and as horribly inappropriate as it was to say that now, I felt it was the only appropriate thing to say.

"I still love you, too, Swan."


A/N: OMG OMG…I know, right! James is a dick…but you smarties probably saw that coming.

We're almost done with the angst. Maybe one more chapter of it? Two, three tops! But she cannot just forgive him so easily, right? I mean, she kind of does in this chapter, but they can't give in right away…plus there's Jake and all, but we're in a new city…so things can happen ;)

I promise you all a HEA, okay? I'm the biggest Team Edward girl ever, of course I want to see these two together!

Next chapter is EPOV immediately following this scene...

Anyway, review and let me know what you think!