Challenge Number: 13
Title: Misfortune
Pairing: DJxCartman
OCs: DJ Callahan
Canon Characters: Cartman

This may not be perfect because I typed t quickly and am too lazy to read it over at the current moment. But please, if you see any mistakes tell me!


100 Theme Challenge

Theme 13: Misfortune; DJ and Cartman


"You're a dick," DJ seethed, throwing her book to the ground. "And I don't see why the hell I'm even trying to do this."

Sitting on his bed across from her, Cartman laughed. It was the kind of laugh that made DJ feel like even more of an idiot than she already felt like. "Whatever you say bitch. At least I'm not the one PMSing." And he just kept laughing.

"Dammit Cartman! You could at least pretend to be helping me with this report!"

"Awww...poor DJ can't do this little project by herself," he teased maliciously, throwing his head back and resting on his sheets. "Why don't you just go home and complain to your 'mommy'? We both know she won't listen to you no matter what you say."

Cartman could tell he was winning the fight by the amusing look on DJ's face – the way her teeth were grinding against each other, the way her eyes looked like they were on the verge of either bursting into flames or tears, the way her pale cheeks were beginning to turn a red that resembled the fiery shade of her hair, and the way smoke seemed to be seeping out of both her nose and ears. Oh, he was definitely enjoying this.

He watched as DJ stood up out of her chair and shoved it back into his desk with some unseen power he had no idea any girl (other than an angry Wendy) could posses. It didn't bother him, though. Cartman knew he was stronger (or hoped he was). Besides DJ was too much of a chicken to hit him, anyway. She had enough chances in the past and had never taken them. If it hadn't been for DJ's already fuming state Cartman might have actually started making clucking noises.

With a less than pleased look on her face, DJ slammed her hands on Cartman's desk and narrowed her eyes even further than they had been before. "I have no idea where you get off on saying that 'Momma's Boy', when you're just the son of a whore!"

The moment DJ had poked his mother into the conversation, Cartman's eyes had widened and his teeth had clenched. This bitch really meant business. "At least my mom is capable of getting it on!" Cartman pushed himself off of his bed and stood up, standing directly in front of DJ and at least four inches above her.

DJ scoffed. "You talk like you're actually capable." Just the thought of a girl having to maneuver her way around Cartman's fat made her laugh.

"Even if you could, who would want to do it with you?" Cartman shot back.

"Clearly more boys and girls than would want to do it with you!" DJ smirked. She was getting her edge back alright.

Slowly, ever so slowly, Cartman's face was transforming into a gigantic (double-chinned) ball of fury. His hands were clenched at his sides and DJ could tell he was holding back from just reaching out and punching her in the face. DJ knew that she would just keep taunting him until he actually punched her or his head exploded from the potential energy.

But that didn't mean DJ wasn't inching towards the door with every chance she got.

"You're pathetic," Cartman sneered. "You think that you could win in a fight against me!" Now he was laughing again. And it only made DJ increasingly mad.

"You're pathetic to think that I'm scared of a man that's nearly one-hundred percent fat!" DJ threw back. "You'd have a heart attack while trying to attack me!"

Cartman was still laughing. Even harder than he was before. Had DJ not known better, she would have thought the boy would start tearing from laughter. Or have a asthma attack. But DJ knew this laughter was different. This laughter meant he found something useful against her. Something good. Well, for him at least. For DJ, it probably meant death or something equivalent.

Either way, DJ busied herself trying to build up her wall. She would not allow Cartman of all people to break through it no matter what the cost. DJ would fight back against him until he either beat her to a pulp, mentally or physically (preferably physically), or squished her to death beneath his vast amount of blubber. Even then she still would fight until she suffocated.

"You..." Cartman spoke slowly, as if she was a idiot (when she was smarter than he was). "Like...Me..."

As soon as the word's left his mouth, DJ wasn't sure whether to double on the floor with laughter or sock him in the face for having such a ridiculous idea. It didn't really matter though, DJ would still remain infuriated by him.

"And you are the most narcissistic person I have ever had the misfortune of meeting!"

"Why else would you still be here?" Cartman smirked and crossed his arm across his chest. "If this was anyone else they would have hit me or stormed out of here." He paused. "...But you stayed..."

DJ couldn't see straight anymore. All she could see was a blinding red flashing in front of her eyes. "And that's the only conclusion you came up with? That I like you. You! Of all people. That's the funniest things I've heard in a long time."

It almost seemed like Cartman was offended by how repulsed DJ was...Almost.

"Mocking the guy you like isn't going to get you anywhere, bitch!" he exclaimed.

"Like I'd want to get anywhere with you," said DJ.

"I know you do."

"You know," DJ grinned. "Teasing the girl you like won't get farther either."

That bitch was going to pay.

"What the hell makes you think I would like a whore like you?" Cartman asked.

DJ was getting him. There was no way she would allow him to win this fight. Not with what was at stake – namely her dignity. "A whore you can't get. And a whore who isn't scared of you. Just mildly repulsed."

"But you, you've never said you hated me, because you can't!" Cartman accused.

"And you look like someone just kicked you in the nuts," DJ responded with a bored voice. She had simmered down, by a lot. "I don't think I've ever seen you so insulted. At least, not by a girl."

"I wouldn't call what's in front of me a girl," he scoffed.

"Then your not attracted to a girl," DJ said easily. "I didn't expect any better of you."

This was just getting better and better.

"And you're attracted to a 'big boned'," DJ rolled her eyes. "Narcissist. Think you could do any better?"

"As long as it's not you, I think I'm doing pretty good."

"But you still like me," Cartman interrupted.

Without either of them being aware of it, the two had become closer. Not too close, at least a foot away. Had they been too close, DJ would have immediately pushed the boy away and began gagging. Quite literally.

"And you like me," DJ repeated.

It was settled.

And before DJ could move away, she felt a pair of lips on hers. Her first thought was too push him away, but the boys fat (and some muscle) prevented her. Cartman didn't bother to wrap his arms around her, and neither did DJ around him. Too intimate, too close. This was just to show who was bolder. Who was badder. Who would be the one to be victorious.

Just quickly as the kiss began, it stopped. Cartman stood there, looking down at the red headed girl, whose face was as red as her hair. From embarrassment or anger, he didn't know. Honestly, he hoped it was a little of both. DJ was a lot more fun and a lot more entertaining when she was riled up. But that wasn't what was truly important. What was important?

He won.

No longer did DJ want to lash out at Cartman for being a ass. DJ wanted to lash out at him for winning. There was no way that she would let him win. And like this! There was no way Cartman was ever going o let her live this down!

"I told you, you like me," said an overly smug Cartman.

DJ scowled at the bigger boy. "You're a dick."


A/N:

Hey everyone!

Just so everyone knows, I love how this story worked, but I don't think the writing is my best. Please if there are any errors don't be afraid to tell me because I bet there are a lot. And I think Cartman acted a little (or a lot) OOC. But this was the best I could do with his character. Anyone have suggestions if he wins my poll?

That brings me to the next thing. I posted my poll! You can see it on my profile. So please vote! I need to know who DJ should be paired with so I can pair if the other with another character.

Also, you guys are just plain awesome! So many reviews on both my South Park stories and I'm barely started!

Moving on, anyone that wants to submit a character can! I'm taking everyone's request! The form is in the introduction, but I have to warn you, you should pick up to ten theme and put them in number order of the ones you like the best. I don't know what you'll get or if you can get theme all. But the people with the least requests I'm writing first.

The themes I chose for my characters, I might make doubles for. I'm not sure yet. Because I don't want to be mean and say, I got it so you can't have it. But I'm not sure if I want to write it. If inspiration strikes though, then I'll write it up.

Below is the current list and the people I have lined up for each theme. For some there are two and I might make doubles I'm still not sure. The ones that are bolded are for sure and there is no changing theme, so if you want it you'll have to be really convincing.

That's about it!

-Soundsandsilence


The (current) List:

1. Introduction
2. Love SweetSinister
3. Light SweetSinister
4. Dark
5. Seeking Solace
6. Break Away
7. Heaven
8. Innocence SweetSinister
9. Drive
10. Breathe Again
11. Memory
12. Insanity
13. Misfortune; DJ and Cartman SweetSinister
14. Smile CifriRocker SweetSinister
15. Silence
16. Questioning
17. Blood CifriRocker
18. Rainbow
19. Gray
20. Fortitude
21. Vacation
22. Mother Nature
23. Cat
24. No Time
25. Trouble Lurking
26. Tears SweetSinister
27. Foreign
28. Sorrow
29. Happiness SweetSinister
30. Under the Rain CifriRocker
31. Flowers CifriRocker
32. Night SweetSinister
33. Expectations
34. Stars
35. Hold My Hand CifriRocker SweetSinister
36. Precious Treasure SweetSinister
37. Eyes CifriRocker
38. Abandoned SweetSinister
39. Dreams SweetSinister
40. Rated
41. Teamwork
42. Standing Still
43. Dying CifriRocker
44. Two Roads
45. Illusion
46. Family CifriRocker SweetSinister
47. Creation
48. Childhood
49. Stripes
50. Breaking the Rules
51. Sport
52. Deep in Thought
53. Keeping a Secret
54. Tower
55. Waiting
56. Danger Ahead
57. Sacrifice
58. Kick in the Head CherrySlim
59. No Way Out
60. Rejection
61. Fairy Tale
62. Magic
63. Do Not Disturb
64. Multitasking
65. Horror
66. Traps
67. Playing the Melody
68. Hero
69. Annoyance
70. 67%
71. Obsession
72. Mischief Managed
73. I Can't
74. Are You Challenging Me? CifriRocker
75. Mirror
76. Broken Pieces
77. Test
78. Drink
79. Starvation SweetSinister
80. Words CifriRocker
81. Pen and Paper
82. Can You Hear Me? CifriRocker
83. Heal CifriRocker
84. Out Cold
85. Spiral
86. Seeing Red
87. Food
88. Pain SweetSinister
89. Through the Fire
90. Triangle
91. Drowning
92. All That I Have
93. Give Up
94. Last Hope
95. Advertisement
96. In the Storm
97. Safety First CherrySlim
98. Puzzle
99. Solitude
100. Relaxation SweetSinister