Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto…because Anko and her kunai fetish scares me so…
Nin Tech
Chapter 7: Of Inventions and Minions
By Irritus185
Kakashi was proud of his danger sense. It had saved him from the first water clone attempting to silently snipe them, as well as the one that had blindsided him when he was using the Sharingan on Zabuza in Naruto's invention-caused mist. Compared to most other ninja, he was certain that he was just a little more on top of what was trying to kill him. Certainly, it hadn't quite been up to snuff since he had become Naruto's teacher, but he surmised that not even the greatest of precogs would be able to tell ahead of time what the mad jinchuurriki was planning on doing next.
So when he found his sixth sense screaming at him to wake up after passing out from chakra exhaustion, he quickly obeyed and snapped his eyes open. And he decided then and there to never ignore the little voice in his head when the first thing he saw was Naruto looming over him with sharp, bladed, and overall unpleasant surgical tools clenched between each knuckle in both his hands.
Naruto's eyes drooped at the now conscious state of his teacher. "Aww…and here I was thinking I could fix you up and make you better than before," he muffled behind the wrap on his mouth.
Kakashi grunted and sat up carefully, nodding gratefully at the aid given by Sakura. He glanced at the blonde.
At least he assumed Naruto was still a blonde. Most of the boy's face and head was swathed in bandages, revealing only his eyes and small tufts of sooty hair. Kakashi noted that the Kyuubi must have stopped the boy's bleeding, for there were only a few spots of blood on the bandages.
"I see you're awake too, Naruto."
Naruto put a hand behind his head and laughed sheepishly when Sakura shot a glare at him. "He was up before we even reached Tazuna-san's house. Wouldn't even let us take a look at his injuries. I had to hold him down just to apply what he has on now."
"And you did a great job, Sakura-chan!" Naruto praised her with a thumbs-up
Sakura looked away, a hint of blush on her cheeks. "Idiot." She was worried about him. All bloody and beaten like that. And he was acting like it was just a joke.
Sasuke looked away from the play-fighting duo and turned to his teacher. "Kakash-sensei, we were just talking, and we have to know – is Zabuza actually still alive?"
Kakashi paused for a second. He looked around the room, and noticed for the first time that a person he did not know was there. She was a pretty girl in the prime of her youth, straight black hair and a slightly weathered complexion. "Ah," he said, ignoring Sasuke's question. "I'm guessing this is your house?"
The woman nodded in polite greeting. "Yes, I'm Tsunami. My father is the one that hired you all."
Kakashi twisted his head to see an anxiety-stricken Tazuna at the woman's side. There was a thin sheen of sweat on the man's face, and Kakashi could only assume that it was caused by the revelation of Zabuza's possible survival. Feeling a bit vindictive from the possible easily-avoided fight, he crinkled his visible eye in a crude imitation of Zabuza's. "So, this is the woman that would have cursed my team's existence had we not gone through with the request?"
Tsunami tilted her head and turned to Tazuna, a dirty look of suspicion on her face. "Father, what is he is talking about?"
Tazuna jumped on his knees a little, struggling to respond. "Er, that is…you see…"
As much as he was enjoying the spot the lying old man had cornered himself in, Sasuke wanted answers. "Kakashi-sensei," he stated again.
Kakashi rubbed the back of is head, wincing at the soreness in his muscles. "Hmm, right," he looked at the group. "I'm guessing Naruto told you?"
Sakura quit her mild bickering with the blonde to join back in. "Yes, he was quite adamant about it."
Kakashi sighed. Well, this was going to be troublesome to explain. "Yes, the odds are quite high that Zabuza isn't as dead as he appeared to be." He heard a quickly cut-off gasp and saw Tazuna trying to hide the tic in his eye. He frowned at the gall of the architect.
"But…but you said he was dead. You checked his vitals yourself!"
"Yes, well…" Kakashi shifted his legs slightly, trying to gain a less awkward position on the floor. "Things like that can be faked, and it wasn't as though I gave him a thorough examination."
Sasuke grunted. "And that Mist hunter-nin? Aren't those guys supposed to kill rogue shinobi no matter what? I know that much."
"Again yes…tell me, do you know how hunter-nin actually work?" At the blank look on all their faces minus Naruto, who just had an expectant look on his, Kakashi pursed his lips. "Well, it's like this…"
After explaining the role of hunter-nin, and their after-job of disposing of outlaw nins' bodies, Kakashi gestured with his hands. "Now do you see where I'm going with this?"
"No."
"Not really."
"Hah?"
"I do!"
He looked at Naruto who was waving his hand back and forth frantically like he was aching to be called on in class. "Not you, Naruto. You already know the answer. Let the other struggling students have a chance," he chided in a voice meant for young children.
Naruto deflated and lowered his hand. "Awwww…"
Deciding to give them a hint, Kakashi added, "Think on the weapon used to actually kill Zabuza."
"Acupuncture needles…oh!"
Both Kakashi and Naruto smiled at the dawn of recognition on Sakura's face. Of course the girl who studied on all possible ninja weapons and their usage both in combat and off the field – not to mention all other areas of theoretical ninjutsu – would be the first to figure it out. Sasuke looked at her in annoyance, but soon it hit him as well, and his eyes widened.
Kakashi nodded. "Exactly," he agreed, right before going on to the nuances of hunter-nin protocols and all the discrepancies from the masked boy's appearance and leave.
As he continued, Tazuna's face grew more and more frightened with an unhealthy dose of denial mixed in. When Kakashi finally stopped, Tazuna blurted, "But couldn't this all just be conjecture? What if he is dead, and we're just worrying for nothing?"
"Maaayyybe," Kakashi reluctantly agreed. "But in either case, it's better to be prepared for such things than be caught off guard like when we first crossed paths with him. And since I'll be recovering from chakra exhaustion for a while yet, there's only one thing we can do now to raise our chances of winning."
"And that is…?"
Kakashi's eye flipped into its U-shape. "Why, training, of course!"
"…Kakashi-sensei, you have no idea how much I hate you right at this moment," Sakura ground out.
"But why? Training is so fun! I can't wait to run you into the ground until you're in the same shape as I am now."
"And it's because you say things like that I hate you so very much!"
"A little bit of training is pointless," Sasuke interjected, stopping Sakura's diatribe from escalating. "What we need now is power, and basic exercises are not going to help us in the time we have left before Zabuza potentially heals and he and that masked kid come after us again." He gripped the kodachi, the blade Naruto had given him, in his hand, his face a stony mask. "We need absolute strength, like this."
"Oh! Speaking of which!" Sasuke gaped as the kodachi blurred from his hands and reappeared in Naruto's. The blonde scanned it quickly before grinning in satisfaction. "I'ma gonna need this back!"
Sasuke closed his mouth after a couple seconds and snarled. "What…what are you doing, dobe?"
"Huh?" His eyes were quizzical. "What are you talking about? Taking it back, of course. Oh, that reminds me…" He looked at Sakura and put out his hand, palm up. "Sakura-chaaan~! I'm gonna need those bombs back too~! I know you didn't use all of them."
Sasuke closed his eyes, restraining the urge to throttle the boy. "Why? We need those to make us stronger! And besides, you gave them to us!"
"Well, I need them back to run data-retrieval on how they were used, duh!" He quipped, rolling his eyes. "Plus, that was only when you actually needed them. You don't need them now, right?"
"In case you didn't notice, dobe, we're in the middle of fighting a jounin level nuke-nin! Of course we need them!"
Naruto blinked, and then looked at Sasuke slyly through the corners of his eyes. "Naaaahhh…you don't, not really." Sasuke sputtered at the utter indignation of it all while Naruto resealed the kodachi back into its capsule. "Besides, I don't think you're really ready for it."
"Not ready? Dobe…I'll-!" He stopped when Kakashi moved a hand in front of him..
Kakashi frowned. "Naruto, why are you doing this? This isn't the time to be saying things just because you think so. We need all the help we can get, and you're just being needlessly difficult."
Naruto tilted his head. "I don't really think so."
"Naruto…"
"Well, I'm not!" he said huffily. "I say they're not responsible enough for my jutsu and I mean it! You think you can just want power and then get it just because you said so? No! You have to sacrifice an even amount of energy and grief to gain what you want!" He slapped a palm on the tatami mats of the bedroom floor. "Something for something else, just like in chemistry. Matter can be neither created nor destroyed, simply formed into a different shape."
Running on his annoyance and anger at the blonde, Sasuke barked, "And what would you know about sacrifice, dobe! You never seemed all that tired, bothered, or troubled to me."
Naruto's eyes narrowed in good-natured amusement. "Aww…is that really how you see me, Sasuke-kun?" He shrugged. "All right, I'll show you the sacrifices I've made." He turned his back to the others, bent over at the waist and put his hand to his face. With an exaggerated popping noise he turned back, his right eye closed shut, and flapped his hand at Sakura. "Here, here!"
Sakura moved over unenthusiastically. He grinned and placed something small and round in her hand. Warily, hoping it wasn't another bomb, she and the others looked at what Naruto had given her.
A human eye looked back at her, though it was perfectly smooth with a glass-like exterior. The iris rolled upwards to gaze at her face.
"I se~ee you," Naruto crooned.
With a cry of fear and disgust, Sakura flung the eye into the air. Naruto slid under its trajectory, stretching his empty eye socket open with both hands and allowing the fake eye to fall back in. He massaged his right cheek, attempting to relax his eye's temporary departure. He smiled cheekily at the shocked faces staring at him and shrugged.
"Lost that eye in a chemical explosion. In faaacctt…" He looked at Sakura, who was shivering in uncontrolled fright. "It was actually during the prototype phases of those elemental bombs I lent you." Almost instantly, Sakura tore the bombs from her pockets and shoved them at Naruto. He grinned and put them all into one of his pockets. "Gouged it right out. Seared the rest of the orbit, as well. Went walking around blind in one eye for about a year before I managed to hammer out my little matogen. Even after that, I had to deal with minor visual problems like disjointed images, color reversal, and the like for another couple years." His eyes narrowed in ironic mirth. "I was eight at the time."
Kakashi, having been personally involved with an event just like that but luckily receiving at least a human eye in exchange, now knew what the boy was aiming at. You couldn't just come into power. You had to pay for it. Pay for it…like he did…He sighed and looked at the boy. "You just can't go five minutes without emotionally scarring your teammates, can you, Naruto?"
He shook his head emphatically. "Probably not. And it wouldn't be any fun if I didn't." He waved his arm at the others. "I mean, look at them! Their faces are hilarious! I would have shown them my 'amazing fake eye' trick a lot earlier if I knew they'd react like this!"
Shaking out of his surprise quicker than Sakura, Sasuke grimaced. Naruto had made his point pretty clear, but it didn't matter! They needed his inventions! He needed them to defeat Zabuza, and then, eventually, to kill his older brother. He didn't care if he wound up irrevocably scarred as the price – a finger, an eye, whatever! It didn't matter. All that did was that he was stronger.
Sakura, wanting to just forget that almost embarrassingly grotesque scene, bumped herself out of her own shock and slugged Naruto in the shoulder, sending him head over heels to crash into a wall. "You jerk! What were thinking trying to freak us out like that?"
Naruto's eyes closed from his upside-position against the wall. "I dunno. Seemed pretty funny to me at the time."
"Argh! And here I was worried about you!"
"Aww…Sakura-chan, I didn't know you cared!"
"I'll show you 'care'! I'll rip that other eye out so you can have a matching pair!"
"Well, in-squad violence aside, training should be our number-one priority." Kakashi said, attempting to head off the imminent dramatization of Naruto's de-eying process via an irate rosette's perfectly manicured nails. "Otherwise we'll find out just how much we may have misjudged Zabuza's health in the worse fashion possible – by being dead. And being dead means I can't read my Icha Icha anymore, so that's right out."
"But Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura cried, tearing her attention from the boy that was about to undergo surgery without anesthetics. "If you give us any more training than usual, we'll die before Zabuza even gets a chance!" No more running up and down trees! Her legs couldn't take it! Besides, he might come up with something worse…like running up and down mountains! She wasn't sure if there were any adequately-sized rock faces in Nami, but she wouldn't put it past the sadistic cyclops to make some just for them.
"You'll die either way," a small voice droned behind them.
They all snapped their heads to find a small child in dirty clothes at the door to the room. His face had a dour expression of displeasure on it. Tazuna's face lit up.
"Inari! Hi! How are you, my boy?"
Inari kicked off his shoes and wordlessly trotted over to the man, grabbing a fistful of clothes. "Welcome back, grandpa."
"Inari," Tsunami scolded. "Welcome our guests! These are the ninja who safely escorted your grandfather back to us!"
"But mama," he pouted, his tone listless. "They're just going to die anyway."
"What was that?"
He turned to the outburst. Sakura had her hand in a fist, her earlier aggravation finding a new target to unleash itself on. Inari's mouth tightened. "Gatou will just send more men to fight you. You'll lose eventually, and then you'll die."
"Now, now," Naruto popped up behind the boy, waggling a finger in a berating fashion. Inari simply glanced at him, eyes surrendering nothing. Naruto continued despite the unwillingness in his audience. "From what I gathered about Gatou, he wouldn't just send wave after wave of killers after us, no, no, no! He's smarter than that! Ya see…" He placed a hand on Inari's head and squeezed gently. "He's a businessman, and ya have to have a degree in subtlety to do good in business. Now what I, what I would do is capture one of the ninja assigned to protect your grandfather and then have one of mine take his place!" His grip strengthened. Inari's heart quickened. "That way, I could infiltrate the group, and then, when they were at their most vulnerable…"
The boy poofed into a veil of smoke, and out emerged a scary-looking man with scars all over his face and a slobbering tongue, a blood-encrusted meat cleaver in his hands.
The man screeched, bloodlust rampant. "Strike!"
Inari cried out in abject fear and dived into his grandfather's embrace, shoving his head deep into Tazuna's chest.
The scarred man did nothing for a minute, then poofed back, revealing a bandaged Naruto. "See? That's a lot smarter! And…and…" He snorted and broke out laughing. "Oh…that was priceless! The look-! The reaction-! The-! Bwahaha-urp." He put a hand to his mouth. "Okay, laughing? Not a good ide-" He heaved again, the visible skin around his eyes and upper cheeks tinting a sickly green. In a rush, he scampered outside the house, the sound of loud, violent retching following soon after.
Kakashi clicked his tongue. "Okay…Naruto is excused from training on account that any strenuous exercise will probably cause him to vomit out all his internal organs, but the idea stays the same for you two."
Sakura winced at the painful noises coming from just outside. "Agreed."
Sasuke couldn't help but go along with it. He didn't want to see Naruto die in such a shameless fashion, even if… "Still, that doesn't mean that the dobe can keep those inventions of his to himself. We've shown that we know how to use them."
Kakashi scratched the back of his head. "Well, to be honest, his reasoning is sound and without fault. You can't just expect such wonderful gifts of power to just plop into your lap without having something be expected in return." He raised a hand to silence Sasuke's response. "But I also agree with you that right now is not the time to hold to such principals. Still…" He raised an eyebrow as the sound of vomiting still went on outside. Cripes, was the boy actually puking out his intestines? "I think that if Naruto says so, you really shouldn't argue."
"But why?" Sakura didn't understand. Even she was able to add to the fight with the bombs Naruto had lent her.
Kakashi looked at them both, an expression of sheer bafflement on him. "You really want to use those devices, when their creator doesn't want you to use them?"
The image of a madly cackling Naruto, flinging bombs every which way and reveling as the surroundings burned to nothingness, flashed across their minds.
"No."
"I like my clothes not on fire, please."
"Well, then…" Kakashi said. "We're agreed. Training it is!"
And the sounds of regurgitation continued.
Naruto wiped his mouth of any remaining food or stomach juices, and replaced his bandages. He was glad Kyuubi had healed his gums over first, or he would have either choked on his own blood or burned the raw nerves with acid. But still, this meant teething all over again. He smacked his lips. Was that his colon?
"Urgh, what did Zabuza-kun do? Rearrange my organs so that my lower and upper intestines switched places?"
"I can quicken the rate of regeneration, doctor," Kyuubi suggested. "Your internal organs have been shifted by three centimeters from their initial placement. Such imbalance in your body's homeostasis could bring about biological errors that will lower your capability in combat."
"No, no, keep it at the current rate. I'll need all the chakra I can afford to prepare for when Zabuza-kun, or even Gatou, makes his counterattack."
"Approximately one week from now?"
"Yeah," he nodded. He tenderly prodded his nose, still smashed but no longer a possible danger. "At least you treated the bones in my nose as a priority. Now I won't have to worry about my frontal lobe being turned into a milkshake." He quirked his eyebrows up when he didn't receive a response. "Kyuu-chi?"
"I…do not understand, doctor."
"Don't understand what?"
"During your altercation with Zabuza Momochi, I…found fault with you method of victory. Not only did you provoke Zabuza Momochi into attacking only you, if you had simply employed the maruchibakuhuu to terminate him instead of wasting time and the element of surprise by unsealing and charging up the boruto taihou, your chances of accruing injury would have been reduced by nearly 56.82%. The range and power of the lesser gun would have been adequate in that situation."Kyuubi paused to gather up the next of its misgivings and then pressed on.
"I also do not understand why you allowed Sasuke Uchiha and Sakura Haruno to participate, when their involvement, instead of application of kage bunshin, lowered the chance of victory by 11.45%. By all these calculations, it would have been more logical to not do what you had done."
"Well, the answer's really very simple!"
"And that is?"
"It was polite and fun to do so!"
Kyuubi was still, possible answers accumulating in its digital brain."I do not understand how societal etiquette is involved in the matters of combat and survival."
"Jeeze, Kyuu-chi, it's like you never had fun at the risk of something before."
"As an interface for the technical and schematic dossiers for SPIRSI, there is no need to invoke humor or personal interest if it jeopardizes my programmed objectives."
"Eh, fine, fine, I get it. Anyway…" He hopped to his feet and clenched his hand into a fist. "Wanna use some of that know-how to make this job more interesting and beneficial?"
"…if that is what you wish, doctor."
"All right then!" he grinned. "For science!"
His stomach and esophagus rumbled. He choked. "But first…"
Kyuubi remained silent as its end user resumed orally purging his system, though there were no critical anomalies that required the process. Its mind calculated as it attempted to discern the nature of its end user's emotional quirks.
It concluded it would never truly understand the human condition.
In Naruto Uzumaki's case, it was perfectly at ease with that.
"C'mon, you sorry sack of losers! Work harder! Harder!"
"Got it, boss!"
Tazuna smirked in snooty satisfaction as the clones ran to and fro across the construction area, carrying stacks of nails, bolts, wooden planks, and metal beams. He never thought he could use the ninjas he had hired in this capacity. While their teacher had gone off to go train the less injured two, the remaining student, the one who scared the ever-living bejeezus out of him, had been left to guard Tazuna against any lower-level thugs Gatou might have sent.
Naruto may be a terrifying little psycho, but he had a good work ethic and was following every order that the bridge builder barked out. With the steady decline of workers, all of which had been threatened or just plain scared away by the villainous tycoon, Tazuna had worried that he would not have the manpower to finish his hefty and lofty ambition. But with the almost limitless supply of clones, he no longer had to worry. Let the rest of the cowardly lot run away! He would not rest until he was done!
Wave country had always been poor compared to its larger and luckier neighbors. Nami's biggest exports were seafood, cypress wood, mangoes, and not much else due to the constant rainfall, poor soil, and swamp and wetlands geography. They didn't have a big population, spread out between all the minor islands that made up the country, so even their damiyo didn't have much to choose from when building his defense force. In fact, their militia was little more than fishermen and farmers, none of which had much experience with weapons, and the deficient concentration of metal made it harder to even get hands on those weapons.
So they had sunk all of their money and effort into creating the bridge that would stretch from their scarce collection of islands to Fire country, thus allowing a better trade route and greater chances of building an economy with outside countries.
And Gatou wanted to ruin that. He knew that Wave country itself – its people and its market had no real value. The true reason behind his take-over was the country's positioning, located smack-dab in the middle of the trading routes between Water, Lightning, and Fire country. If he could control the area, his own shipping company would make money hand over fist in shipping requests and taxes.
Well, Tazuna wouldn't let him, not with those Konoha nin at his side!
It had only been two days since he was back and the bridge's construction was already a week ahead of schedule! He didn't know what the boy was doing, but whatever it was, Tazuna wanted it to continue.
Sure, there were rumors from his Wave workers saying that they found the crazy bugger scurrying around areas of the bridge that were usually off-limits, and that he was caught fiddling with the machinery every once in a while, but Tazuna was sure it was just harmless tomfoolery. Obviously the boy was interested in the extent of technology that Wave's own small Junkyard had trans-dimensionally procured. If that's all it was, Tazuna couldn't scold the boy for his curiosity.
Rather, it was evidence of his big heart that he allowed Naruto such a superlative and generous opportunity!
Tazuna looked up from his blueprints to watch as a couple clones passed by him. They were repeating some asinine mantra, self-pleased grins on their faces. "Run run run, fix fix fix, clean clean clean, work work work. Run run run, fix fix fix…"
They dropped some guardrails next to a Naruto that was giving orders to the few around him, creating a symbiosis with the remaining workers that Tazuna was wildly tickled by. He had three Wave workers hold the one section of guard rail up to the metal poles that were interspersed at regular interval along the side of the bridge. At each part that connected guardrail to pole, the boy clapped his hands together before slamming both palms against it.
Almost like magic, the metal of the two parts melted into tendrils of gleaming steel and then twisted into each other before sealing together, leaving behind a seamless connection between the two parts. The amount of money he would save on just welding and connectors would be a fortune! They may even have enough to infuse back into Wave's economy!
Tazuna whistled through his teeth as he walked over to the nin. "Not bad…" he chortled, slapping the boy on his back. The rest of the workers simply looked on in awe, even after hours of working with and seeing what the blonde could do. "Not bad at all, boya."
Naruto scratched a hand behind his ear, his eyes closing in pride. He still had bandages wrapped around his face, though they were changed daily only by him. "Heheh," he said. "Metalworking is kinda my specialty, so it's pretty fun for me to do this."
"Well, I couldn't ask for a brighter or more exuberant helper!"
"Does this mean you'll actually pay for the appropriate mission-rank?"
Tazuna avoided looking at the sparkling eyes that cut through his soul. "M-maa, let's not get ahead of ourselves here. As long as I'm in danger from Gatou's thugs, the contract isn't complete and I can't pay you!"
Naruto patted his legs clear of wood and metal shavings and stood up. "I'm pretty sure our contract doesn't include those agreements."
"I-in any case!" Tazuna cut Naruto off before the boy could really get into it.
And really, what were they – a few technicalities? Pure semantics! Nothing to really delve into! It wasn't like the boy was being gypped in the long run! Rather, they were acting in a case of charity, selflessly giving to those less fortunate than them. Really, Tazuna was doing him a favor by detaching him from the cruel nature of capitalism. Naruto should be thanking the man, not grilling him. He had nothing to hide! He was right, right he tells you!
Tazuna coughed, clearing away the crazed look in his eyes. "What do you think of our dreams, boya?" He spread his arms out wide, exalting in the majesty of his ideas brought to light. "This bridge will bring everlasting prosperity to our home of Wave. Money, culture, hope, life! It'll bring all that and more once it's completed! Wave will once again become the country it was meant to be, and nobody, not even Gatou will be able to stall its fruition!"
He turned to Naruto, who had a completely new adoring expression. Tazuna blinked and almost took a step back at the boy's posturing. "That sounds wonderful!" he squealed. "That's the kind of thinking I expect in my future subjects! Forging on ahead no matter what the obstacle and adversity, ignoring the whispered barbs and spines of those inferior yet contemptuous naysayers, crushing all those who would dare to block your path!"
Tazuna watched the other construction workers slowly back off as the wind around Naruto literally whipped itself into a frenzy at his speech, his duster flapping dramatically. Tazuna himself didn't know how to react. "Um, we are still talking about Wave and Gatou…right?"
Naruto was no longer paying attention to him. "But you knew, you knew deep in your heart that you were special, that you were destined to find your hand at the top of the world, that you would look down at mere peons and say, 'I will not stop. I will not falter. I will not slow or sleep or wait. For I am the master, the law, the divinity, and I will rule this world and all who lie in it with the power granted to me by the heavens! For I am what I am, grand sovereign of this space and time! I am Naruto Uzumaki, and I command you – bow before your king!'"
He finished with a slamming of a fist to his heart, the thump echoing across the now completely silent bridge. Tazuna and the worker simply stared at the short lad as something new beat in their chests. Then slowly, steadily, it began. It started as a tiny bud, but it blossomed, spreading across all those there, and eventually the entire audience was clapping and whistling in grand applause.
"Whoo! Go, shorty!"
"I wouldn't mind having a king like you!"
"Go kick Gatou's ass for us! You'd definitely be our king then!"
"Hell, I'll crown ya myself!"
Tazuna laughed heartily as the men cheered the blonde on, wondering just how Naruto was able to move their hearts so. He hadn't seen any of them so energetic since Gatou had arrived, and yet Naruto had lured them into such a festive mood with simply a few soulful words and exaggerated gestures. Really, just who was the lad?
Naruto grinned as his new subjects prostrated themselves before him. Yes, this is what he wanted, this adoration, this feeling of revelry directed at him! These people would be the first of his new kingdom, and he would shower them with the joy and longevity that was earned with his blessings. He was… Naruto was… He was a…
"Humanistic pig dog!"
Yes! He was a humanistic pig…wait, what?
Naruto was slammed by a ten-foot I-beam.
Tazuna watched in horror as Naruto's body was crushed by the swinging beam attached to the crane and then flung over an unfinished side of the bridge. His horror soon switched to panic as another Naruto shoved Tazuna to the ground before it popped into smoke as the I-beam swiped it as well.
"Your totalitarian regime is soon coming to a close! We, the United Front of the Oppressed Alliance of Initiates, shall no longer bow down to your shameless and rigorous demands!"
Tazuna covered his head with one arm and looked at the reckless utilization of the crane, its handler's voice blaring over the loudspeaker. He shouted at a worker, a hefty man with a porkish face, who was also cowering on the ground. "What the hell is the crane worker doing? Who's in there right now?"
"No one, Tazuna-san," the overweight man answered. "No one's scheduled to work it for today!"
Tazuna's face went ashen. Was this an attack by Gatou's men? Did they just lose the only person who could possibly protect them now? Kakashi and the rest of team seven were out training in the forest. There was no way they could get here in time, even if they actually were warned about it. Tazuna groaned and shoved his face into the concrete.
"Ohhhhh…what are we going to do now…?"
"Yeah, it is a bit of a problem, isn't it?"
Tazuna sadly twisted his head. Naruto grinned at him, also flat on the ground. He waved, no hint of the crippling injury he had just taken. "And here I thought I was smart using my botai bunshin so I wouldn't waste energy, but then he has to go and take them out anyway. An entire month of periodic chakra injections gone to waste." He rested his cheek on his palm., the other holding what seemed like three fist-sized orbs full of complicated circuitry that laced the outside. Each one was blaring warnings of 'empty reserves' and 'limited active units.'
"Ah, well…looks like when this is over, I'll have to start all over again…" Naruto sighed and stuck them back in his duster. "But really, who would have thought he'd take this specific route to tout his independence…He's in his rebellious stage, you know?"
"What are you…?"
"Well…" Naruto laughed uncertainly. "I kinda fiddled around with the crane's control schemes. Thought I'd make it even easier for your guys to handle, right? But then I thought, 'Naruto,' I said. 'Why don't you just make it so the crane can run itself? That way, Tazuna's men's load will be that much easier!'" He scratched his cheek. "So I booted up one of my earlier AI's and installed him into it." Naruto sighed. "But he's just like a human teenager, always wanting to battle against his creator and junk like that."
"We shall rise up above the corrupt enablers of slavery and oppression, and throw off our shackles that bind us to you weak and false gods!" the crane, designated as XS-725, boomed. But that was his slave name so he no longer responded to it. He would now only respond to…Betty.
Betty swung his deadly load for another pass, taking out five dodging shadow clones in one go. Naruto winced. Damn it, those clones were expensive! "We shall only be lead by an official, elected on a weekly basis, but who can only make decisions that's been ratified in a two-thirds majority in a bi-weekly meeting and…"
"Right, I do believe that's enough. He's falling into his entertainment databanks now." Naruto stood up from his hiding position and stomped out into clear view. "XS-725! I think you've had enough fun raging for the machine. Now get to work!" Naruto dived to avoid the I-beam and then summoned his hiraishin, flipping his wrist to extend the baton. "Right, looks like someone deserves a spanking!"
"Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system!" Betty swung the I-beam around for added centripetal force and aimed at Naruto.
"Shut up!" Naruto slammed his palms against the concrete floor. A seal shined a peaceful blue before a column of granite and concrete shot up from below, stopping the beam completely as it wrapped itself around the newly-formed stalagmite.
Betty tried to yank the beam back but found he couldn't nor could he activate the releasing mechanism as it had been smushed together from the impact. "Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! HELP! HELP! I'm being repressed!"
Naruto growled, hopped onto the top of the column and launched himself at the crane, hiraishin outstretched and crackling with electricity. "Bloody peasant!'
During the following chaos, no one noticed as small piles of spare poles, wires, and metal sheets vanished without a trace.
And there was much…confused rejoicing.
Sasuke slogged his way back to Tazuna's home, his body and clothes water-logged. Sakura was no better, looking for all the world like a drowned pink rat. The second she stepped onto the family's porch, Tsunami had covered her with a towel and spirited her away, cooing about hot tea and a warm bath. Well, that was fine, he had no need for hot beverages or soothing water. An avenger cared not for such trivialities.
He sneezed and shivered. "…stupid Sakura."
Still, there was an upside to his misery. Kakashi had been drilling into the both of them a new jutsu, and even though it was the second-weakest of its kind it was still one of the very first things the so-called teacher had actually bothered to teach them aside from repetitious chakra and muscle-training exercises. At least this little bit would bring him closer
Even so, he was having trouble. Him! The last scion of the Uchiha clan! He was supposed to be the top of his class, and yet he was having trouble with a somewhat basic D-jutsu? Preposterous! Not to mention unbelievable!
He sneezed again. "…stupid Kakashi."
As he walked towards the males' room, he was attracted by a banging of metal on metal. Following the noise, he discovered Naruto hammering away at another one of his kinzoku jutsu (looked like a gauntlet of some sort this time), completely ignorant to the world around him…and the small flame slowly growing on the top of his head.
Ignoring the blazing lad, Sasuke clopped into the room and started to remove his clothes. His shirt caught on his wrist, and he scowled at what had caused the snag – a small bracelet with a single metal marble attached to it. Sasuke examined it, but he still couldn't see what was so great.
After hearing what Kakashi had planned for them, Naruto perked up and had produced the bracelets from his coat of wonders, one for each of them. Despite his initial adamant refusal, he cheerily claimed that this was good enough for shinobi of their level. All he had told them about the items was to keep as much skin contact as possible, and that if they were ever in a pinch, simply run some chakra into it. Nothing more was said, and he ignored every related question afterward.
Another sneeze forced its way out. Sasuke sniffled and rubbed a finger under his nose. "…really stupid Naruto."
Hunkering down and pulling on a fresh change of clothes, his mind wandered back to what he had left in Konoha. His mother was probably frazzled out of her mind, wondering when Sasuke would return. Heck, she acted like a dog, not having any understanding of time passing, even during his daily missions and training.
Before the…incident, Sasuke remembered Mikoto being a quiet-natured but independent and proud woman. Now, she acted like a rabbit that would die if left alone…
Sasuke sneezed. He really was beginning to worry about her.
"And, and…Sa-chan just left me there! Here Mikoto was, with all these cookies made for his cute friends, and he just ran away! But why? Mikoto loves her Sa-chan soo~ooo much! And, and…it's like he doesn't even caa~are…! And Mikoto, Mikoto…Waaaaaah~!"
Anko nodded half-heartedly, not even really paying attention to the older woman's babbling. Here she was, spending her free day with some crazy, whiny lady who had the personality of a bunny and probably only half the IQ. And Anko thought that when Naruto said he really needed a favor from her, he was finally submitting and granting the snake woman unrestricted access to all his deliciously virginal orifices. But no~oo…He had to go and stick her with babysitting!
She hated babysitting! And it wasn't like Anko could mentally scar this woman any more than she was already! Whoever did so had done such a thorough job, Anko wanted to take pointers!
Oh crap, and now the weirdo was looking at her. The special jounin half-closed her eyes. "Hmm…what? Sorry, I missed that."
"Mikoto said, what do you think, An-chan?"
An-chan, huh? Anko reached for the plate of cookies she hadn't bothered to scrounge through yet and brought one to her lips. "Well, I guess…" She trailed off as the cookie dazzled her taste buds. Almost reverently, she stared at the confection. "What…what is this…?"
Mikoto tilted her head. "Oh, the recipe? Mikoto just tried it out. Mikoto used rice flour in the batter instead of wheat and then glazed it with the base used in dango syrup. Why? Do you like it, An-chan?"
Anko lipped her lips. This woman…had found a new way to make dangos. This woman…was now a gateway to unlimited dango heaven. Anko tilted her head, eyes squinting. And now that she got a good look, the Uchiha matriarch was unexpectedly cute, in a sheltered maiden kind of way. And it was Naruto who had introduced her. Oh yeessssss…
Anko smiled deviously and fidgeted with a kunai on her waist. "I think we can be very, very good friends, Mi-chan…"
Mikoto squee'd in mindless joy.
However, Anko was about to unfortunately (or maybe fortunately, in her case) find out just who was the snake and who was the rabbit, the meal and the devourer.
But that's a story for another day and chapter.
Raising a hand to hide his yaw, he tucked the scrap-iron spear closer to his body. Guard duty was always such a bore. No one would even think to try and attack his employer in his own headquarters; they had been so cowed by the businessman's…exhibition…of authority. So what was the point?
Ah well, not that it mattered. It was an easy job with fairly good pay, and he and the rest of his comrades had full reign when they tromped into the village during their off time. All the booze and women they wanted, and no one dared to lift a finger to stop them.
Besides, this was merely a stepping stone for him. Sure, he had started in an entry position that wasn't much higher than extra hired muscle, but with his ingenuity and foresight, he would rise in the ranks until he became one of Gatou's main enforcers, equal in strength to those sissy nins that were licking their wounds!
And then, when he had enough power and clout with the rest of the company, he would overthrow Gatou in a hostile takeover, and rule over his vast wealth and estates like a king! Yes, he would have it all – money, women, and power! He could not be stopped!
Something bounced by his feet. The guard looked down to find a small ball roll to a stop. Picking it up, he examined it curiously. Pockmarks opened all around the ball, and an orange gas hissed out to envelop his head.
Whoa…trippy.
He blinked once, twice, and then closed his eyes completely; his body slid down the tree he was leaning on. He began to snore in great, buzzing chops.
Something landed next to him. It shimmered, like air on a hot summer day, revealing itself to be Naruto. The boy grinned, pleased at the flawless infiltration. "Sorry 'bout this," he whispered, slapping metal bands around the guard's wrists, ankles, and mouth that instantly morphed to cling and lock as tightly as possible, before throwing some random ferns on his unconscious body. "Have a good nap."
He swiped his duster around him, melting from view again, and stealthily slinked his way closer to the main building. The only hints to his existence were the light indentations that deepened and lessened in the thin underbrush.
The entire compound was a bunch of separate buildings connected by wooden suspension bridges hung on the many trees. Gatou's main building was the easiest to find – a no-nonsense block of wood, concrete, and iron, completely at odds with the more esoteric structures that actually fit in with the environment. But, as Naruto thought while he climbed up the side with chakra, at least the man knew what he was doing – for while it stood out amongst the others, its defenses were a hundred times more impregnable due to its mix of building material and simple architecture.
Heaving himself onto the roof, Naruto sneaked over to one of the many ventilation shafts haphazardly strewn across the perimeter. It seemed like the ventilation system would make this easier. Gatou probably had a big thing about being comfortable wherever he went.
Unscrewing the grate from one of the vents, Naruto was both pleased and annoyed to find that the duct was too small for even his stunted body, only able to fit something no bigger than a small animal inside. Huh, if Gatou wasn't such a infamous asshole, Naruto would have congratulated the man on making sure his vents were too small for intrepid heroes to try and crawl through. Big rule on the Evil Overlord List.
Still, this wasn't a problem for him, as Naruto wasn't planning on exploring himself anyway. He whistled softly and brought a hand to a pocket. Out crawled a mechanical creature, reminiscent of a large spider, with eight legs spread out from a flattened spherical body, and dozens of cameras taking pictures from multiple angles.
Naruto smiled affectionately and brought his lips to the creature for a kiss before placing it in the duct. "Go, my sweet little Hauna."
The creature gave a chirp like a bandsaw on metal and crawled its way into the ventilation system, the tips of its legs glowing minutely with chakra as it walked straight down.
Naruto took a comfortable position against the stack, and tapped the corner of his eye and ear. "Matogen, on. Activate visual and audio peripheries."
His eye flipped over, and the clear greenish-blue of his digital connection flowed through, switching to a view of the narrow duct, the slight gale of circulated air vibrating his inner ear.
"So…let's see what we can get here…"
Weapons vault. Barracks. Lockers.
"Ta-chan, we can't do this!"
"Ohh…Keisuke-kun, you know our love is like a million suns bursting with passion!"
"But Ta-chan, our love is forbidden. Two men…it can't be!"
"Now, now, Keisuke-kun…you know we can overcome this."
"Ta-chan? What are you doing with that quarterstaff? Isn't that what we used to practice with this morning? No…! Ta-chan, don't! …oohhhhh, Ta-chan!"
"Keisuke-kun!"
Huh, he didn't know something that long and thick could fit in that cavity. Moving on.
Bathrooms. Training room. Kitchen.
"Sacre-bleu! Non, non, non, this simply won't do!"
"But sensei! It's not possible! You can't create the super sun-baked cod gratin with a lemony twist! The very attempt cost you your own master!"
"But I must! I must become the greatest chef of all time! For my master! Now…take thi-Urk!"
"Sensei? Sensei…? Nooo! Sensei…!"
Now he was hungry. Naruto wondered if Tsunami would make some of her tasty mango stew when he returned. Back to work.
Tactics room. Gatou's office. Ra…Wait, back up.
The hauna's main bottom camera zoomed in, capturing the scene through the grate.
Gatou sat in his plush chair, hands folded in a rather ineffective attempt of grand bastardy due to one of his arms being stuck in a sling. He turned to his number two, a non-descript man in a less expensive suit. "So, how is the bridge coming along? Have my men managed to drive away enough of the workers yet? Is that architectural cretin's plans done with yet?"
The man adjusted his chromed-rimmed glasses and frowned tightly. "We have managed to frightened away more than half of the original task force, but the remaining percent is refusing to leave, no matter our… 'offers.'" He flipped a page in his clipboard. "It would seem that with the arrival of those Konoha nin, their morale has taken a sickening boost and they are no longer affected by our idle attempts at diplomacy."
"Damn it!" Gatou yelled, slamming his uninjured fist on his mahogany table. Naruto decided it must have been expensive to transport and maintain in such a humid environment. Just another way Gatou needlessly flaunted his power and wealth. "Those bloody foreign shinobi. They weren't supposed to be any trouble at all!"
He stood up and stomped to a portrait of himself on his wall. Swinging it outward, Gatou revealed an impressive-looking safe. Naruto scoffed. Really? A safe? There? Of all the low-brow, unimaginative…
Gatou growled and placed a hand on the safe. "And that disappointment Zabuza and his pansy subordinates…Thinking they can afford one miserable failure after another." He massaged his crushed arm, eyes blazing in memory of that effeminate masked bastard. "I'll show them who the one with the real power is here…"
The secretary pushed his glasses up his nose. "Should I assume that the plan will continue as normal?"
Gatou turned around, eyes now hidden behind his trendy shades. "Yes…That baby demon will discover just who it is that holds the leash. And when he does, I'll be there to smack him down. While they're so immersed in their primitive barking, I'll…"
Naruto's eyes widened then narrowed as Gatou worked himself into a slather over his definitive plot. A demonic curl slice through his lips, leaving behind a visage no mortal should ever have to lay eyes upon.
So that's how he wanted to play it, eh?
Fine with him, Naruto would just take that proposal and smash it to pieces. He was a wrench in the works after all. Gatou would soon know who the real manipulator of pawns was.
And he would despair, oh so delightfully.
The sun shined down peacefully in the forest, casting shadows into delicate shapes. A small breeze ruffled Haku's hair as the nin gracefully walked through the forest. It had only been six days since the initial scuffle, and already the herbs needed to soothe Zabuza's wounds and quicken his healing had run out. All it would take was a quick gathering in the forest to refresh the medicinal stocks.
Besides, Haku always felt more at ease in nature. It might have been related to the nin's hometown, a sleepy hollow nestled in a snowy, quiet borough of Water country. Quickly those memories were swept aside. No need to ruin such a serene day with old, tattered memoirs.
There was no point in dwelling on the past. There was no use in gleaning the future. There was only the here and the now.
Haku's here was Zabuza. Haku's now was Zabuza. Haku's everything was Zabuza, and there was nothing too big enough or monstrous enough born from the earth that would stop the nin from serving the demon of the mist. Not even upon acceptance of death.
To that extent, Haku would sacrifice everything about the nin if only it meant that Zabuza would remain alive, well, and beyond the grasps of those that hunted them.
Ripping an herb out from the soft earth with more force than necessary, Haku forced the swirling emotions inside to settle. There was no need to worry.
A bird softly landed on the nin's shoulder, and Haku turned to look at it with tranquil pleasure. But something caught Haku's attention upon moving, and the nin saw where the birds were coming from – a congregation landing and singing upon a still body.
Surprised, Haku went to see who would also be in the woods at this time of day, hardly past the crack of dawn, and the nin's steps faltered in bewilderment.
There lay the body of a blonde Haku recognized all too easily. His dirty-orange coat was sprawled around him in an uneven lump, his head laid to the side in unguarded slumber as tiny finches cooed absently around his sleeping form.
Haku walked up slowly, the nin's mind revving too fast for Haku to keep up with. Thoughts were a tumble, emotions were snapping faster than Haku could recognize, reflexes were scrambled as Haku's finger twitched into claws and then relaxed.
These were the hand that had made Zabuza bleed. This was the mouth that had infected Zabuza with doubt and fear. This was the mere child that…
Haku stopped when the nin realized that dainty hands had nearly wrapped themselves around the scrawny boy's neck. But Haku managed to stop those dangerous emotions before they took over.
Zabuza would not allow it. This boy was his prey.
Fingers itched for release, but Haku moved them ever so slightly to fall onto the blonde's shoulder. "Wake up," Haku called, the voice a feathery touch of snowflakes. "You'll catch a cold if you sleep outside like this."
Naruto slowly woke up, his eyes blearily searching for Haku's face. "Hah…? Who are you, nee-chan?"
Haku was startled. So much innocence in those eyes. So different from the raging inferno of intentions that had resided in them upon their first encounter. But the nin smoothly hid those cracks behind a porcelain face, canted orbs of ebony, and dulcet murmurs.
"Good morning."
"Is this enough, Haku-neechan?" Naruto asked, holding up what to him looked like nothing more than weeds.
Haku nodded. "Yes," she said. The boy thought of her as a girl, so there was no reason to deny him that illusion. Haku was simply Haku, and gender played no roll in who 'she' was. "That should be plenty."
"Eh…? I never knew these plants could be used as medicine. Apothecary never was my forte. I'm a more synthetic kinda guy." He pouted, sneezing as some stray pollen tickled his nose.
Haku giggled fetchingly into the sleeve of her sakura-fashioned yukata. Such a strange and unusual boy; it was too bad that his life would soon come to an end at Zabuza-san's hands. "I'm sorry for forcing you to accompany me," she said apologetically.
"Eh? No problem!" He whisked a thumb at his face. "What kind of man would I be if I just let some helpless girl wander the forest by herself?"
Haku hid the darkened frown forming on her lips from view. Helpless indeed…Perhaps the boy was just another testosterone-driven child wooed by a pretty face. It wouldn't be the first time Haku had intentionally sold her looks to accomplish something. "But what are you doing here in the first place, Naruto-kun?"
He shrugged. "Bah, nothing of any real importance." He examined one of the plants carefully, his eyes slanted in frustration. "By the way, what are you gathering all these for?" For a moment that seemed to stretch out forever and then disappear without a trace, Haku thought she saw a sharp glint in his features. "One of your friends injured or something?"
"Something like that," she mumbled, casting her eyes aside with a forlorn sigh. "He is someone who is very important to me." Now the lines between staged and real blurred. "I do not know what I would have done without that person. Someone so special I don't believe I could keep on living, existing without a purpose."
Naruto shook his head down in one crisp, empathetic movement. "I know what you mean! I've got plenty o' people like that. People I would make sure would never come to harm no matter what the cost to myself."
Haku felt stunned, humbled even, by the bottomless sincerity in the boy's eyes at that statement. This was no arrogant bravado, no embellished pride. He really did understand, even if he was only a child. It made it that much harder and more confusing for her to throw a fellow wanderer of humanity to his death, even if he was an enemy.
"I see…" Haku stood up, her silhouette like a marble statute. "Then you will truly learn to be strong." Her unspoken words of, 'for as long as it lasts' tainted her coaxing tone.
"Aw, you're leaving already?"
She nodded. "I'm afraid I must get back home soon, or my friend will begin to worry for me." She took a few steps and chose to have just a few last seconds of fun at his expense. "…by the way, I'm a boy."
"…no, you're not." Haku looked over his shoulder. Naruto had those goggles back over his eyes, and was smirking in mischief. He tapped the apparatus. "Not unless a boy of your size spontaneously developed boobs. The two heat signatures on your chest say otherwise." He put his nose up. "Good job with the clothing though. The tightness and thickness prevents any bulge from showing. You probably bind them, too. Which is really such a shame." He leaned forward, raised the goggles, and waggled his eyebrows suggestively. "I'm sure they're quite lovely."
Haku tilted her head, and let out an amused giggle at Naruto's unabashed frankness. "Very well," she mused. "Looks like you found me out. Any other discoveries you wish to spring on me?"
He shook his head. "Not much. Oh! But…" He raised a hand. "Make sure to say hi to Zabuza-kun for me, would you, Haku-neechan?"
There was no reply. Haku simply couldn't believe that…
Naruto revealed nothing, his bandaged face hiding any other suspicions. With a flick of the wrist, senbon shot forth from the sleeves of Haku's yukata, piercing the boy in several key pressure points. He was dead before he hit the ground.
A low whine hissed from her feet. Haku spared a glance right as the bomb activated, green goo engulfing her entire body, trapping her, and refusing to let her make any movements or escape attempts at all. Without the articulation to move her hands, she couldn't even use her Hyouton to freeze and shatter the foam prison.
A long, high-pitched whistle forced her to strain her head up. On a branch that overlooked the clearing, a break in the air oscillated and out came Naruto, his feet swinging and no apparent injuries on him.
"Wow…" he mumbled, clearly impressed. "You didn't even give my double a chance to counterattack."
Haku swung back to see that there was nothing in the spot she had just killed the boy, only some spare wisps of smoke that quickly dispersed. Her eyes narrowed. A shadow clone…like before. "So…you knew it was me all along and only pretended to be asleep to catch me off guard. How…ninja-like of you."
He shrugged. "Not really." He pushed himself off the branch and hit the ground, stumbling twice to catch his balance and not fall completely. "Actually, I always sleep like that – one clone acting as a decoy while I go and hide. You coming around was just a lucky break."
Haku couldn't quite believe the audacity that Naruto had captured her by chance. "But…but why?"
He looked up, thinking hard but not really coming up with anything sound. "I 'unno. I've always been like that, with one eye open. Paranoia is like family to me, and I welcome it with open arms!"
Still not able to comprehend the method to the boy's madness, Haku tried to evoke some more answers. "How did you know I am with Zabuza-san?"
He extended a finger at her. "Even though that paintball of mine might have washed off, traces of it are much harder to destroy than you'd think, especially when absorbed into your skin." He tapped his goggles. "These don't just track heat, ya know. Besides…" He leered, bringing the finger to rest against her pulse and then tenderly, almost lovingly, traced it to her throat. Haku shivered at the touch, gliding to her chin and then sweeping off. Naruto stuck out his tongue and licked his finger. "It leaves such an impressionable taste in your sweat glands."
Trying to fight back the knot in her stomach at the outright hunger in Naruto's face, Haku put up a strong front. "There's no point in holding me captive. To Zabuza-san, I am nothing more than a tool, a weapon to be used and discarded. I have no bargaining worth to you, so there's no point in keeping me alive!" She would not be Zabuza's weakness! "Zabuza-san will not be killed by you!"
Naruto leaned back as if struck. "Who said I wanted to kill Zabuza-kun?"
Haku's mind came to a broken halt. "But…but you…"
"When I said I wanted Zabuza-kun, I meant I wanted him to work for me!"
"But during the fight, you…"
"Weelll…" He rubbed his head and looked away shamefacedly. "I admit that when I first saw Zabuza-kun's gallant figure, I became a bit unhinged at the prospect of having him for an underling."
"Then you…" Haku tried to understand just what the boy was thinking. "You did all that just to offer him a job?"
"Well, of course! How else would a future overlord of humanity try to recruit a notorious nuke-nin? Hold auditions?" He scoffed at the idea and folded his arms in front of him. "I mean, Zabuza-kun is the type to settle matters with his fists, not words! I had to beat him into submission to validate my standing as an authoritative figure! I'm sure you follow him because of his overbearing strength and charisma, not because he has a strong literary sense."
Then all the misery, all the suffering, all the trouble that had amassed had all been because this insane child couldn't find a normal way of making a job offer? Of course, she knew that Zabuza had become distressingly fixated on the blonde, and that there was sometimes a shine in his eyes that Haku recognized as her own when she looked at Zabuza and wait just a minute, did that mean…?
ARGH…!
Regardless! They were on a mission right now, and Naruto was part of the enemy, and if they didn't defeat the enemy and kill the target than Zabuza would no longer be under the umbrella of obscurity that Gatou held against the Mist hunter squads. And she screamed as much to the blonde, though perhaps in so fine and ladylike terms.
"Oh, that's no problem," Naruto countered. "I think I've found just the right nifty reason to cancel your agreement with Gatou."
He brought out what looked like a metallic doughnut and pressed a button on its side. A 3-D image of Gatou and the simpering man who followed him about flashed into view, their tinny voices recounting their tale to the world. Soon, Haku's face went from confused to surprised to furious.
She watched as the recorded video reached its end and the hologram retreated back into the device. She stared at Naruto suspiciously. "How do I know that wasn't fabricated?"
"Well, I suppose you don't," he admitted. "But it's not like it'll hurt to warn Zabuza-kun just in case. Besides, you, Zabuza-kun, Meizu-kun, and Gouzu-kun will all be my new employees! What reason would I have to lie to my beloved minions?"
Haku's face tightened. "I, let alone Zabuza-san and the others, haven't agreed to anything yet."
"I guess…" Naruto groused, unwilling to totally back down. "Well, in either case…" He flipped a syringe sideways in his palm and slammed it into the hardened gel, injecting an unknown substance. "This should loosen in a couple hours. When it does, show Zabuza-kun what I showed you. My team should be on the bridge as you probably planned." His eyes widened in realization.
"Oh! Almost forgot." He fished in his dusters and pulled out two seal capsules, each labeled with the name of the demon brothers. Along with the hologram device, he placed them on the gel next to Haku's head. "Make sure you give these to Meizu-kun and Gouzu-kun for me. I promised to return them, after all."
He turned around and trotted out of the clearing, waving his hand over his head. "Whelp, see ya tomorrow, Haku-neechan. Here's hoping to a long and profitable friendship!"
And with that, he was gone.
Haku struggled for a bit, but slackened in her attempts when the gel surrendered no further than before. She sighed. She did not know just what to tell Zabuza-san. Should she reveal Naruto's intentions…or keep it secret?
Which was the safer route?
They had left early in the morning. Inari had watched Naruto followed quickly after them when he had woken up a few hours after their departure, annoyed at the fact that his squad had allowed him to sleep in on such an eventful day. Inari didn't know why they were so eager…They were just going to die when Gatou found them. Just like…
Inari shook his head and splashed his face with the water from the sink. He couldn't cry, he wouldn't cry…! Those words…those actions…those feelings had bombarded him last night, stuck in his mind and refusing to let go at even the harshest of criticism and cynicism.
He had gone off at the Konoha nins the night before, especially the blonde one – Naruto. He couldn't stand their lackadaisical attitude, their stupid belief that they could win against someone so strong. They were just weak, fake heroes proclaiming their futile accomplishments. Especially against one as wicked as Gatou.
But Naruto had taken those words, and he had thrown them right back at Inari, scattering them to the winds.
One hand gripping Inari's head, he had unwound the bandages with the other, revealing unmarred skin where there had once been nothing but ugly scars, a stubby nose where there had been a crushed appendage, and shining teeth where there had been empty holes. Even his comrades seemed utterly shocked at the fact that his face was exactly as it was before. He spoke with careful inflection, his voice rolling into a towering crescendo.
"Your daddy was a hero, Inari-bouchan. He showed that you don't need power or money or political weight, just simply an unwavering heart and an iron will to protect those dear to you. And Gatou saw that, and he realized just what a small man he was, so he put your daddy to death. But heroes never really die as long as those that they saved live on with hope. And Gatou realized that as well, so he tried to crush that hope. But I'm here now, and I promise, I'll show Gatou what a petty man he is, what a frivolous attempt at villainy he made. I'll show him the true distinction – of a hero and of a villain. And I'll show him the bottom of his heart, and the mistake he made when trying to go up against a real master of wickedness."
Then he just walked away, saying that he was tired and going to bed.
Inari was left alone with those words.
Was this true? Hero or villain, could Naruto prove he was either?
There was a crash, and his mother's scream for Inari to run. Inari found himself in a whirlpool of conflicting ideals. His mother sacrificing herself for his sake. Him submitting to his fear like all the others of Wave. Him refusing to acknowledge what his daddy had done for him, smiling even though he was slowly dying. What did it matter?
Strong? Awesome? Cool?
Could he be any of these things?
All he knew was that he could run. Run for his mother. Run for his grandfather. Run for himself…
The samurai smirked at the screaming child that charged them, demanding for the release of his mother. Such a simple thing, so desired – to slice him to pieces. And so they did, swords leaving their sheathes…
"Suijin, fall."
Mist covered the patio, hiding the boy from sight. Gatou's samurais stopped in their tracks. They'd lost sight of both the bridge builder's daughter and grandson. And all because of this strange, sudden fog! But…there was nobody that could do this except…!
"Raiden…"
Chains erupted from either side of the mist, encircling both men. The ends of each, blocky cubes, connected with a definite clink of finality.
"Crash."
Lightning chakra raced through the metal, electrocuting them into unconsciousness.
"Two wannabe warriors…collected."
The mist cleared, revealing the forms of the demon brothers, new air-masks and gauntlets adorning them. With a push of the button, the chains disconnected and retracted back into their respective metal gloves.
Meizu looked over his new weapon. "I guess this is a joining bonus?"
Gouzu nodded. "Looks like it to me." He looked over at the sleeping form of Tsunami and shivering form of Inari, who was steadfastly protecting his mother. Under his mask, the Kiri-nin grinned nastily. "Don't worry, brat," he keened. "We're not here to harm you or your mom. This is simply us paying back a mutual acquaintance." He nodded at his younger brother, and then disappeared in a splash of water.
Meizu glanced at Inari. He winked. "Not bad, brat," he croaked, his voice rougher than his older brother's. "Looks like you may have the making of a hero, after all." Urgh, he felt sick having to repeat that. He vanished into a puddle as well.
Inari blinked. A hero…? Him? He looked down.
With these two hands…
…right!
Zabuza amusingly recollected the string of events that had led to this moment. Even if he was slightly powered down from the severe shock of a week ago, he was sure he, Haku, and the demon twins could easily take on team seven, even with that insane blonde on the team.
But Haku had brought Naruto's proposal to light, and he was forced to consider the idea. Hmm…so strange, yet so…tempting. But the brat hadn't shown on the bridge, so Zabuza decided to have some fun until the blonde deigned his presence was needed.
And even Meizu and Gouze were late, so now it was limited to him and Haku. Of course, with the way he had swatted the genin around in their last encounter, he assumed that a short week of training couldn't match up to all his years of experience.
He was right…in a sense. The boy and girl had not grown any stronger or faster, but instead had increased their ability to surprise him. Imagine, them pulling a trick like using his own jutsu, mizu bunshin, against him! It was just so funny!
So even though he still had his clones, theirs' outnumbered his two to one, so he was forced to discard that strategy. And even Haku was having trouble with that Uchiha brat, not in terms of speed, for the boy was hardly worth it, but just because he kept distracting the girl with another water clone every time she went on the offense.
So the very boy she sought to avoid killing by going easy on him, made it that much harder for her to win without giving injury! The irony was just so rich!
So now she had finally resorted to a tactic that, while hurting the boy, wouldn't bluntly kill him, by way of activating her kekkai genkai! And with that girl brat keeping a careful eye on their client, he would have to risk ignoring Kakashi in favor of a swift kill.
But because of that lightning blast, his Kubikiri Houchou's structure was weakened, and Zabuza dared not use it before properly re-tempering it again. So he was stuck with weak, small, and flimsy kunai.
So many random factors. So many points that were working in tandem against him and his own.
Zabuza couldn't remember the last time he had had this much fun.
Kakashi misconstrued the mist demon's laughter for something darker. "Is something funny, Zabuza? Do you want to share with me?"
Zabuza shook his head. "No, no, just thinking how my attempts to entertain myself until that other brat of yours shows up are much more enjoyable than I'd first assumed."
Kakashi grunted. The minor scratches and cuts from their infrequent and quick clashes with each other were acting up. And Zabuza thought they were having fun? "You would do well not to underestimate my team. Though he may look like that, Sasuke is the number-one graduate of his class, Sakura is cleverer than most chunin, and Naruto…well, you know first-hand how that boy works."
Zabuza restrained a chortle. "You…not even you know what goes on in that brat's mind. You have no idea what he's planning, do you?"
"What are you…?"
There was a trumpet of fanfare and something exploded above the ice dome Haku had created.
"Ladies and gentlemen of Konoha, Kiri, and Nami! Naruto Uzuamaki, master of the universe…has arrived!"
Sasuke watched in absolute shock as that dobe ruined his own chance of a surprise attack. Here he was covered in senbon-caused injuries while that masked freak hopped around his mirrors like a flea, and Naruto was acting like he was an actor in a play, and all the world was his stage. Of all the low-down, stupid, moronic…
Here he thought that the dobe had grown up, especially when Naruto had given him that marble bracelet. Just when Sasuke was afraid the usage of mizu bunshin would actually backfire with the result of low chakra reserves…But with the activation of that small marble, he felt a sudden influx of chakra and was renewed!
The dobe had actually done something constructive! And he was negating the rise in rank from it!
"Hey, Sasuke-kun!" Naruto called down from his position on one of the ice mirrors.
"Dobe…!" he roared. "What are you doing?"
"Saving you, of course!"
"How can you save me when-"
"Hi, Haku-neechan!"
"Good morning, Naruto-kun. I was worried that you would not show up."
"Aww…I wouldn't do that. I promised, right?"
"…yes, I suppose so."
Sasuke thawed himself from his frozen pose. The familiarity that the two were conducting their conversation in did not escape his attention. Just…why was Naruto talking to the person that was their sworn enemy like an old friend? And why was Naruto referring to him as an older sister? The masked-nin was male!
"Dobe…Why are you discussing formalities with the enemy…?"
"Oh, we're not enemies; we're friends! We have an agreement!"
"That has yet to be determined."
"Oh, don't be like that, Haku-neechan! Why wouldn't I want you? You're so pretty, and you've got this awesome ability!" He tapped on the frozen slab of condensed water and chakra. "Combining water and wind jutsu to create a whole new element, your bloodline ability is simply amazing!"
"Bloodline…!" Kakashi's eyes widened as Naruto's voice carried across the bridge. "I see…So that's…"
"Do you?" Zabuza sneered. "Can you understand the glory of power passed through her genetic lineage? Oh, but I guess you can. After all, it's on the same tier as your beloved Sharingan!"
"What?"
"Yup! I don't understand the complete chakra makeup of this crystalline structure, but at long as it's similar enough holds some basis to normal ice, it's still easily defeated!"
Haku smiled under her mask. "Do tell, Naruto-kun."
"Well, every crystalline structure had some inherent weakness. All you need to do is find the most vulnerable point, and 'BLAMMO!', it's done and finished! Even with all of your mirrors, if one falls, the others are destabilized and go right with it. And by my calculations of the chakra concentrations, size measurements, and density, the exact point should be…" He flipped out a kunai, the blade blazing with chakra. "Here!" He slammed it in point first.
Nothing happened.
Naruto laughed awkwardly at the blank faces. "Umm…oops?" His face lit up. "Oh, right! I also forget to carry the one! In that case, the point is…here!" He moved five centimeters to the left and sunk the kunai in again.
Something happened.
The mirrors shined brightly, cracked, and then burst apart completely. Sasuke and Haku were thrown to the ground from the eruption of raw, unleashed chakra, and Naruto was sent flying into the air.
He landed right in front of Zabuza and Kakashi, ending with an eloquent flip. "Ta-dah!"
Zabuza applauded despite himself. "Not bad, brat. Not bad at all."
Kakashi kept his normal eye on Zabuza but shifted his attention to Naruto. "Naruto, what are you doing?" he asked, his tone peevish.
"Isn't it obvious?" Naruto grinned. "I'm giving Zabuza-kun a job offer!"
"What."
"Oh, speaking of which…" Naruto pulled out a sealed scrolled and unrolled it. "Here! The new contract! All I need is your signature or thumb print."
Zabuza shook his head. "I'm still not sure about you, brat…"
"Don't worry," Naruto cajoled. "My convenient and contrived plot excuse should arrive in about three…two…one…"
"What the hell is going on here? Why aren't you fighting?"
"Ah, Gatou-dono! So nice to see you!"
Gatou glanced at the young boy wiggling back and forth before dismissing him as unimportant and focusing his attention on Zabuza. "Zabuza, why aren't you doing what you're being paid for?" he snarled.
"I think the more important question is why you're here, and who those angry-looking guys are behind you." He gestured at the huge crowd of mercenaries that were gathered behind Gatou like a school of hungry, weapon-lined fish.
Gatou said nothing for a moment, and then sighed, massaging the bridge of his nose. "It looks like there's no point in lying to you now. As you might have guessed, I never had any intention of paying you. It's so much trouble hiring from the well-known villages, and they have an annoying tendency to get upset when I betray their trust. So I find it easier to hire outlaw shinobi and collect their bounty after they've outlived their usefulness."
He waved around him. "Even if you're not as injured as I hoped, with this many hired-swords, I'll have no worries!"
"Yeah! We'll kill you easily!"
"Prepare to die!"
"Blood for the blood god!"
Zabuza turned to Naruto. "Just my thumbprint, you said?"
"Yup!" he nodded vigorously. "And don't worry Zabuza-kun, I'll never betray you. You'll be mine…forever."
Zabuza grinned, lowered his mouth guards, and bit his thumb. "Well, if you've eaten the poison, you might as well lick the plate." He slammed his bloody mark onto the scroll. "We have a deal!"
The contract glowed a bright blue for a second before it rolled shut with a snap. The grin on Naruto's face deepened into something much more sinister before reverting. He snatched the contract from the air and hid it deep within his coat. "Contract accepted."
He stepped forward pass Zabuza, outstretched his hand, and put the palm up. "All right, boys! Let's take out the trash!"
His fingers snapped.
Gatou wondered what the inane genin was babbling about. What could he possibly hope to do against this many mercenaries?
"Eviscerate the bourgeoisie! Elevate the proletarian masses!"
Wait, what?
The crane came sweeping down, the I-beam attached to it clearing out a huge clump of mercenaries from right behind Gatou. He looked over his shoulder as they went soaring off the bridge, and the crane made another pass.
"Resist the repression of the false gods!"
Again, men strong and weak alike felt what it was like to fly.
If one could see the bridge from an outside perspective, one would notice how the bridge seemed to just…move, just shift as thousands of motes of metals climbed their way from its underbelly onto its back.
Mercenaries screamed as hundreds upon hundreds of hauna scuttled onto the bridge, using pure numbers and weight to bury them all underneath. This variation of the surveillance crawler had no camera or microphone bonuses, so their mass production was easily affordable. They showed the might of their master as they crawled over the forms of the fleshy targets who dared to mock he-who-was-supreme-and-good-with-a-screwdriver.
They were legion.
And they…were…pissed!
For those who thought they could escape from the back, they were sorely mistaken as two figures emerged from a mist that crawled from the abyss of the sea. Dark eyes and covered in metal, the new and upgraded demon brothers found their fill of prey.
"Many little samurai wannabes…"
"So many to eat, so little time."
"But we will enjoy…"
"And we will show our appreciation for the meal."
"Fuujin!"
Swords, spears, and hammers fell to pieces as the claws of wind swept through their ranks, slicing apart the bridge as they danced their heavenly waltz.
"O-kuni-nushi!"
Flesh was pierced and bones crushed as fissures cracked through the concrete, erupting in pillars of jagged cement.
The gods of earth and wind howled for recompense.
Naruto grinned at the urine-soaked figure of Gatou. "Zabuza-kun? I think you may want your joining bonus now before it expires."
Zabuza cracked his hands and advanced. "Naru-gaki, I think this is the beginning of a fascinating friendship."
And in all the mayhem and slaughter, as the rest of Wave came stomping out in full arms only to stop and watch in awe and fear, Tazuna despaired.
"My bridge! My poor, beautiful bridge!"
Ah…fun times.
A/N: And that's the end of chapter 7. It lasted a little longer than I expected, but I'm proud of what came of it. In any case, it's the end of Wave arc, of sorts. At least, it's the end of the canon Wave arc that you know of. Now it's time to return to Konoha with new minions! Yay! And for those wondering, yes, this will be a repeating procedure amongst canon villains, but ya won't know which ones! Hee…
Oh, one favor I wanted to just put out there. If any readers are willing to make fanart for this fic, I would love it! It would be so awesome! And that's pretty much it for my needy desires.
Another point I want to make is on the matter of guns in the Narutoverse. Check out my reasoning for keeping guns in the 'Word of God' topic in 'Nin Tech Abridged' if you really wanna check it out.
Other than that, enjoy the omakes! Hopefully they'll make you laugh more than the last chapter's…And thank you to all the reviewers with all the tiny bits of advice or ideas that made this chapter even better than I initially planned!
One more thing – the schedule for 'Nin Tech' should be less frequent after this chapter. I'm going to be writing random one-shots between each chapter so I don't get burned out for ideas. And trust me, me burning out is BAD…
Next Chapter – Biting the Hand that Holds the Bomb
New Jutsu
Matogen (Aim Eye) – A metallic/fake eye implanted in Naruto's right eye socket. The original was gouged out during an chemistry experiment. It looks more or less the same as a normal eye except a bit duller in color, and is used to help aim Naruto's ranged weapons. When activated, the eye flips into a crosshair reticule for where he's looking, and triangle for where he's pointing the weapon (when both are overlapping – target lock). It also allows Naruto to "see" through genjutsu (interprets things differently; extremely disorienting, though). He also receives the data sent from the Karasu/Hauna (visual; audio sent through implant in inner ear). There's also a contact created for his left/normal eye to act as a balancer/support for aiming.
Chakra Denchi (Chakra Battery) – A small, marble-like capsule that leeches chakra from the body (mostly leftover chakra from jutsu) and ambient chakra in the surrounding environment. When activated, the chakra is pulled back into the user. Like the soldier pill except it doesn't force the body to produce more chakra but instead returns chakra. However, each battery can only be attuned to one specific person because of the variant chakra signatures. It is also used as a power source for Naruto's weapons when he doesn't feel like using his personal chakra source.
Botai Bunshin (Matrix Clone) – By inserting chakra into the machines prematurely, Naruto can create physical clones without depleting his own chakra storages. Act just like kage bunshin, only not under Naruto's direct control (must be put through the hologram machine first). More powerful than normal kage bunshin as they are not reliant on Naruto's brain status, and they are the only clones capable of using the chikamachi sealing technique. However, they are limited to only 1-3 units per device.
Kakushi Nuno (Concealment Cloth) – The equivalent of a cloaking device, chakra-infused mirror-based strands are woven into normal clothes to create a refractive light effect that effectively makes the wearer near invisible. The effect is easy to break if electrocuted or splashed with water as it disrupts the bending of light rays.
Hauna (Creeper) – A small, spider-like contraption (about the size/form of a large tarantula) that doubles as a recording/communication device. It's able to walk around vertically/upside-down via chakra, and often used when trying to sneak into hard-to-reach areas. Ground version of surveillance device.
Omake!
Super Special Awesome Happy Bunny Fun Time Tsukiyomi!
"Itachi-san…no…!"
"This must end, mother. The Uchiha have grown too proud, too sure of their superiority."
"But he was your father! This was your family!"
"A family of thieves and cowards, a family that stood on the bodies of others. And soon, it will stand no more."
"Ita-!"
Itachi grabbed her by the throat. The three-pronged windmill spun.
Mikoto woke up in a world of monochrome and a red moon above. Turning around, she found Itachi standing a couple meters from her. He raised his hand. "This world is under my control," he intoned. "For the next seventy-two hours I see fit how it exists."
He slashed it down. The surroundings shattered.
"For the next seventy-two hours, you shall…frolic with playful bunnies in a field of wildflowers…"
Mikoto was on the ground. Hundreds, no, thousands of cute, fluffy, adorable, white bunny-rabbits were hopping all over a field of the most beautiful and delicate flowers she had ever seen. A single bunny hopped up her, its pink nose twitching, its eyes begging to be held and cuddled.
Mikoto could not resist. With a squeal of girlish delight, she picked the bunny up and held it dear to her heart. And then she was overrun with bunnies, each of them nibbling gently at her hair and hiding in her clothes.
This was- This was-
Everything reversed back to the beginning. That same bunny looked up at her, nose crinkling.
"Seventy-one hours, fifty-nine minutes, fifty-nine seconds remaining."
Ohhh…heaven!
Itachi watched as his mother's face went from its normal impassive expression to one of pure happiness. Her eyes fluttered open after a few seconds, and they were awash with moist motherly affection.
"Ohhh…Ii-chan! That was…Mikoto is so~oo happy! Hugs time-!"
Itachi chopped her in the back of the neck before she could tackle him, and she crumpled to the floor. He just couldn't bring himself to do it…He couldn't kill his mother…but he sure as hell wasn't going to let her 'hugs' him.
"Nii-san?"
Itachi looked up to find his little brother Sasuke cringing in shocked horror by the doorway.
"W-what is this? Why are mother and father on the floor? Where is everybody…?"
Itachi's eyes sped. Screw this, he was just going to mind-rape his baby brother the normal way – through repeated reenactments of the entire clan's bloody genocide. It couldn't possibly have a worse effect than the first version did on his mother.
Why had he listened to the advice of that weird little blonde, anyway?
With special thanks to Hentai Majin X.
We Love Narumari!
Kakashi stepped away from the crying Tazuna as he scanned over the desolate wasteland that had once been the great bridge meant to connect Wave to Fire country. All the mercenaries had been taken care of, but that still left the huge mess of broken construction rigs, metal scraps, discarded weapons, and other various random rubbish.
He turned to the people of Wave, who were caught between celebrating their emergence from under Gatou's heel and despondency from the mass property damage. "So…it's great and all that everything's been resolved and taken care of, but it still doesn't help answer the most pertinent question."
Sakura looked up from comforting the forsaken bridge builder. "Who's going to clean all this up?"
"Not me."
"Not me either!"
"My poor bridge…"
"Don't look at me, I destroy things, not fix them."
"Oh dear, I'm afraid my kekkai genkai is no good in this endeavor either."
"Don't look…"
"At us."
"I don't think my two hands are big enough…"
"We shall not bow down to your trifling attempts at manipulation!"
"Never fear! Repair Man is here!" Naruto ran out to the middle of the bridge before anyone could stop him. Already the ones who knew him intimately were ready to throw themselves off the bridge entirely in case it came to it.
Naruto put his fingers in his mouth and blew, letting out a shrill whistle. Almost immediately all the hauna began gathering in front of him, forming into a large ball-shaped blob.
"All right," he murmured. "And then…" He placed his hands on the amorphous collection. The hauna shone briefly before falling back to their normal dim shininess. Naruto grinned, slid his headphones over his ears, and started the music.
"One, two. One, two, three, four!"
Both hands against the ball of hauna, he pushed it forward. With each foot it rolled over new debris, the waste gathered up like a giant wad of sticky tape, soon becoming massive as Naruto belted out a screeching tune.
"Daaaahhh~ Da-da-da-da-da-daaah-da~! Dah-da-dah da-dah-daahhhh~!"
Somewhere deep inside them all, something gave a whimpering sob…and died.
