Alright, I haven't updated in almost a year now, but don't worry, I haven't forgotten about this story! I apologize for the long update time, but come April, I'm really going to try to hammer out the chapters and get this story done. In all honesty, I had most of this chapter written in December, but I didn't like how it turned out and I hadn't worked on it since. I still don't think this is my best chapter, and I realize that the characters are starting to stray from how they actually act in the anime/manga, but well, this is my story and I hope you like it anyways!
If it's any consolation, THIS chapter is actually the longest one I'll have posted, over 4000 words! (I might not be able to keep my trend of surpassing every previous chapter's word count)
I thought about whether or not I wanted to start giving my chapters real titles, but at risk of giving anything away to people who just start reading, I'm gonna keep things the way they are.
I'd like to thank everyone who is about to read this for continuing to follow my story despite the long waits, and I'd like to thank everyone who left comments about it! I hope you are not dissapointed!
I don't own Bleach!
Click. The doors of the hall closed and Kaien Shiba calmly walked out of the Captain's meeting. Man, it was weird being in there. This would mark the third day he was back in Soul Society, and he has been a very busy man.
Captain Yamamoto had to make sure Kaien really was himself, so most of Kaien's days were spent proving to the Gotei 13 who he really was. Kaien had also gone once to visit Miyako's grave.
Every other waking moment of the two days was spent with his siblings. At first, he was shocked at how Ganju had turned out, but after spending more time with him, Kaien realized that Ganju had potential, and just needed some direction. Ganju told Kaien all about the adventure he had finding Kaien's "killer" and how he had worked with the orange-haired human kid Ichigo. Kukaku was the same as she ever was: violent as hell. But she was overjoyed to have Kaien alive and well again. Although he did get beat up quite a bit for 'scaring her like that'.
Kaien was, for the protection of Soul Society, not allowed to enter the Seireitei until just a few moments ago to attend the meeting. He had just retold his entire story, starting from when he was stabbed by Rukia up to when he stepped onto the grass of Soul Society.
The moments that involved Rukia were the hardest ones to go retell and as he told them, he swore he saw Byakuya's lips tighten. Kaien sighed to himself as he leaned against the wall facing the doors that just clicked.
His fate now rested entirely on what the Captains decided. He hoped beyond hope that he would be allowed to return to his former role in the courts. He had already discussed with Kukaku and Ganju the possibility of his returning to Soul Society as a lieutenant. He wasn't just grasping at straws either, Ukitake had already expressed these same wishes, and if the senior Captain still held the same amount of weight in the courts as he had 50 years ago, then it was most likely going to happen.
I hate waiting. I just want to know their decision. Kaien began to roll his eyes and squirm. Patience was not his forte, never has been.
After what seemed like a few hours the doors finally opened. An anxious Kaien calmed himself before being beckoned into the hall. All the Captains were still lined up, and all of them looking straight ahead of themselves. Kaien's footsteps echoed as he walked forwards. He held onto a serious, stoic demeanor in order to keep his nerves from showing through.
Rukia was resting in her bed in the fourth division quarters. Over the past couple of days, Rukia's strength had grown immensely. She could feel that her reiatsu was still weaker than ever, but physically, she was improving. She was able to get up and walk around now, although most of her day was still spent in her bed, the fresh air helped her clear her head.
Ishida and Chad had dropped by to say their good-byes the day before. They were headed back to the human world and were told they would not be needed for the upcoming war. Rukia was under the impression that they still intended to train for the war, anything else would have surprised her.
Orihime was to stay in Soul Society, where she could be protected, since it was clear now how important her powers of rejection really are. She was to work on her healing abilities with Unohana in the fourth division so that she could help recover people during the war. She only dropped by Rukia's room a few times, but Rukia knew how hard she's been practising and how exhausted Orihime must be at the end of each day. Rukia herself has spent half her time unconscious anyways, so she was not offended that Orihime did not visit her as often as possible.
Ichigo had spent a day healing in the fourth division as well, but yesterday he was released and it was decided what his next move would be. After attending a closed-door Captain's and Lieutenant's meeting, it was determined that for everyone's interest, Ichigo would spend the next two months training in Soul Society with various Captains to perfect his shinigami skills. His time after that would be spent in the living world training with the Vizards, to perfect those skills as much as he could until the inevitable Winter War.
Ichigo had came right back to Rukia's bedside to inform her of these plans. He was very excited to be perfecting his skills, even if he didn't think his sword handling needed any help, he would also be training in kido.
He was most thrilled at the fact that he would get to stay with Rukia in Soul Society, but those thoughts remained unexpressed. Little did he know, Rukia's was feeling the same way.
Rukia was also very excited about Ichigo training with the Captains.
"You have so much potential Ichigo, you could be so much stronger if you only worked on your skills more" Rukia had said.
"Well it gets the job done doesn't it? I mean, hey! My skills have gotten us this far and kept you alive haven't they?" Ichigo retorted.
Rukia smiled at the memory of the silly argument, sighed at Ichigo's stubbornness, and sunk her head deeper into her pillow.
Ichigo is with Renji right now sparring. I hope the idiots don't kill each other. Rukia wished she could be training right now. She had finally accomplished Sode no Shirayuki's third dance, although (hopefully) she wouldn't need to use that dance very often. It was quite an accomplishment for her to be able to perform all of her zanpakuto's abilities.
She was happy for Ichigo and his plans for preparing for the Winter War, but she wasn't sure, especially in her current state, what position that left her in. I need to get better so that I can train and fight. I need to be able to contribute to the war efforts.
Rukia's thoughts drifted back to her fight with the 9th Espada. She a deep frown spread onto her face. Why hasn't Kaien-dono come back to visit me yet? Maybe he remembered how I killed him and doesn't want to see my face. Rukia knew that Kaien-dono would never think like that, but she couldn't help her guilty conscience from voicing her fear.
Suddenly feeling very drained, Rukia closed her eyes and let sleep take over.
Rukia heard some ruffling and sensed that someone was sitting in the chair by her bed. Pushing herself out of sleep, Rukia opened her eyes expecting to see Ichigo.
Instead, she saw Kaien-dono smiling down at her with a toothy grin.
"Kaien-dono!" Rukia exclaimed, surprised to see him looking down at her.
"Hey Kuchiki, I've got some great news. Are you up for going for a walk with me?" Rukia nodded her reply.
They walked in a comfortable silence to the side of a stream, and sat down. They both smiled at how nostalgic everything was. After a few more moments of revelling in their past, Kaien broke the silence.
"So I said I had good news right? I'm your lieutenant again!"
"Really? Just like that?" confusion tinged her voice. Rukia was definitely pleased with the news, but had not expected it to be come about so easily.
"Well I guess I don't have full status right now. Any lieutenant or captain can override my orders, and I won't be attending lieutenant-captain only meetings until I'm deemed 'completely trustworthy', but it's not like I'll miss those boring meetings. This is the best situation I could have hoped for!"
"That's great!" Rukia smiled, but she then she looked away sadly.
Haha, same old Rukia, always sad for one reason or another underneath her facades. "Why so glum?"
"Kaien-dono, I am so sorry for everything you've been through. For everything I put you through."
"Kuchiki, you didn't put me through anything. Stop acting so guilty." Kaien was annoyed and angry at her stupidity. It came through in his voice.
"I know, but still..."
"Stop talking Kuchiki. That's an order. Don't forget I'm your lieutenant okay?!"
Rukia nodded slowly. "Yes."
"Yes...?!" Kaien snapped, in a threatening tone
"Yes Lieutenant!" Rukia smiled
"I'm glad you didn't forget your manners." Kaien smiled, before becoming very serious again and looking straight ahead across the stream at nothing.
"I'm going to say this all now, so that neither one of us has to carry this bulk around anymore. It is not your fault that I died. After the hollow..." Kaien choked a little bit at this point, "after the hollow took Miyako, I became reckless and angry. All I wanted was revenge, and I was more than happy to put my life on the line for it. I knew I was not thinking clearly, and knowing this, I asked Captain Ukitake to let me fight alone."
Rukia opened her mouth to express her thoughts on the topic, but Kaien cut her off quickly and continued.
"Had I realized I would be putting your life and the Captain's in danger by doing so, I would not have done it. My rashness—no, my stupidity—almost killed you. I almost killed you." Kaien's voice was angry at the thought, but heavy with regret.
"Trust me Kuchiki, you stabbing me not only allowed me to leave my heart with you, but it also gave me piece of mind, in knowing that I had not caused your death." With that, Kaien turned his gaze back to Rukia, who had not been able to take her eyes off him the entire time.
"So drop it already. Okay?" Kaien turned to look into her large purple eyes.
Rukia looked back into his eyes and knew he wasn't just saying this to make her feel better. Kaien-dono wouldn't do something like that. She was so choked up about this whole conversation that she had to find her voice before she could speak.
"O... Okay" she replied quietly. Then Rukia backed up her answer by allowing a small smile to creep onto her face. "I'm just glad you're back now and everything's going to go back to the way it was."
Wow she's smiling for real. Kaien could tell when she usually smiled, that Rukia usually wasn't actually smiling, just grinning and bearing it. Now was a rare moment when Rukia let herself shine through. It's moments like this...
Kaien smiled back with his own genuine smile.
"Rukia, I also wanted to talk to you about what you went through with the whole Aizen plot. Aizen told all of his espada about it. That was the only part of his plot that didn't go exactly as he had planned."
Rukia shuddered at the thought of what happened. Her time spent in the Tower of Penitence, her resolve to die, her feeling of abandonment, all the pain she thought she caused to her brother, to her friends, to Ichigo... all because of Aizen.
"I want you to know how much it pains me to think of what you must have gone through because of that sick bastard." Kaien's eyes began to blaze determination "I definitely won't rest until he pays for what he has done, not only to Soul Society and the balance of all things, but also to you; to us and Miyako. His sick experiments and his lust for power have caused so much pain."
Rukia looked at him, touched deeply by his words and his regard for her. Then a thought crept through her head.
"You mean you could hear and feel everything that went on when you were in the 9th Espada's body?" Rukia's eyes widened and her stomach tightened at the memory of her last battle. Does that mean I killed him twice?
"I could hear and see, but nothing else." Kaien eyed Rukia's grave expression and read her mind "I didn't feel pain or anything, so don't go on with self-guilt-trip about killing the 9th Espada. I was rooting for you from the inside." Rukia mentally scolded herself for (even for a second) regretting the killing the 9th Espada.
"By the way, I'm really impressed with how you fought that battle." Kaien gently nudged her in the arm with his elbow, grinning.
"It was the first time I uncovered Sode no Shirayuki's third dance" Rukia smiled earnestly.
There was a moment of silence as Rukia absorbed everything they had just discussed, and as Kaien thought about how he was going to bring up the next topic.
"I never finished telling you about what my arrangements will be now that I'm back in Soul Society Rukia."
Rukia was pulled out of her daze. "Oh, I guess you're right."
"Since I haven't really been a shinigami for, I guess about fifty years now, my first priority is not to take care of my lieutenant duties. It is to train and become as good as, if not better than, I once was." Kaien looked out over the stream again and got that distant look in his eyes, the look that told Rukia that what he was saying now was very serious and meaningful.
"I am going to fight in the war and I know I need to train long and hard to be able to stand a chance. I saw those Espada, I know what they are capable of."
Rukia nodded, not quite sure where he was taking this conversation.
"You have more of a reason to fight than anyone Rukia. You will need to train too. I've arranged with Ukitake, that for the next while, we will train together, to return to our previous levels." Kaien turned towards Rukia and smiled at her "Ukitake believes that in your current state, it would be unwise to train with Sode no Shirayuki. Likewise, I have not regained all of my reiatsu back, so we will be sparring together. Just like in the old days!"
Rukia couldn't help but grin "That's great Kaien-dono!"
"We will work on our swordsmanship and hand-to-hand combat, then as we both get stronger, we will begin to train with our zanpakuto. I will help you with Sode no Shirayuki and you can re-teach me kido. It was never my strongest suit, but right now, I honestly don't remember anything!"
"Once we have trained long enough to be back on equal grounds with everyone else, we can rejoin the rest of our peers and train with them more extensively."
"Oh, so we'll use our sparring training as a means to keep up with everyone else while our reiatsus slowly recovers?"
"Exactly! We'll start in a couple days, I still have some things to attend to and you've still got to recover." Kaien looked Rukia up and down and frowned. She was clearly slouching, a sign of how tired she was. In fact, she was beginning to fall over now, using her arm to keep herself up.
"We should head back, I hadn't realized it, but we've been out here for quite a long time now! The sun will set soon, plus you looked tired" Kaien stood up and offered a hand to Rukia before helping her to her feet. Rukia blushed slightly at the chivalrous act. Normally she wouldn't need such treatment, but she really did feel tired.
"Thanks Kaien-dono." Rukia looked away, then back at Kaien, talking to him with a serious tone as they began to walk back to the fourth division.
"To be honest, I'm really glad you came up with this training plan Kaien-dono. I had been worried that I wouldn't be able to fight in the war because of my health right now." As if on cue, Rukia stumbled a bit and fell into Kaien's side.
"Oi, Kuchiki are you okay? Man! Captain Unohana's gonna kill me for keeping you out so long!"
"It's my fault, I hadn't realized how tired I was. Errm.. I'm really sorry Kaien-dono, I don't think I can walk right now. Could we just sit down and rest for a bit?" Rukia hated admitting her weakness, but it was so blatantly obvious. She was too tired to walk, she her legs felt heavy and her muscles felt weak, she was using Kaien-dono as support to stay standing, even though they had barely walked 10 meters from the stream.
"We really oughtta get back..." Kaien scratched his head in thought, then ginned at her, "here, hop on" Kaien bent down so that Rukia could get on his back. Rukia hesitated, but reluctantly got on, too exhausted to complain.
Kaien began to walk towards the fourth division, only now realizing that they were really quite far from it.
In her tired state, Rukia absorbed the silence around them, thinking about everything that had been said in the past few hours. She began to get emotional.
"Kaien-dono. Have you gone to visit Miyako's grave?" Rukia spoke quietly as she fought the temptation to sleep. Kaien dropped his head so that his bangs covered his eyes, but he kept walking.
"Yes Kuchiki, I have."
"Just wondering... I am sorry Kaien-dono" Why the hell did I ask him that? Rukia didn't even know why that blurted out, she was just curious. "You know after you died, I didn't feel bad just because I had killed you..."
"You didn't kill me Kuchiki." Kaien turned his head towards Rukia's face abruptly.
"Yeah, well, I didn't feel bad just because I thought I had killed you. With both of you gone, I felt like my life was a lot emptier. Both of you meant a lot to me..." Rukia trailed off, unsure of whether her point was being expressed right.
"Kuchiki, we both know... well knew. You know, Miyako and I talked about you quite a bit back then." Kaien looked straight ahead again as he walked.
"What?" Rukia asked softly.
"Rukia, we could tell that you looked up to us, and since you transferred into the Thirteenth Division, we both began to regard you as a little sister." Rukia's eyes widened, then softened again.
"Rukia, back then it was like you were closed up, locked away in your own little shell. Both of us saw glimpses of the real Rukia, and we both wanted to help you. You meant a lot to both of us. And still do."
Tears welled up in Rukia's eyes. Rukia thought about how much she cared about them as well. They had reached out to her so many times, helped her see through her own hardships. She clung onto Kaien tighter. "I never got to thank you guys for helping me so much."
"It's alright Rukia, we knew." Kaien smiled at her. They were getting closer to the fourth division.
"Rukia, before I drop you off, I wanted to tell you that nothing like that whole Aizen thing will ever happen to you again. I will protect you no matter what. You were like a younger sister to Miyako and me, as far as I'm concerned you are my family. Nothing will harm you as long as I can help it" Kaien said confidently, grinning to lighten the mood.
"We are family Kaien-dono. We will protect each other." Rukia corrected him.
"Che, yeah." He responded.
Why is it that everyone seems to think I need protection all the time? Rukia laughed to herself Fifty years ago, I looked up to Miyako and Kaien-dono so much, it's amazing to know they cared for me too. Rukia closed her eyes and began to drift into sleep again. Kaien-dono is everything I could ask for in a brother. I am so lucky to have in him.
Kaien dropped Rukia off in her room and tucked her into her bed. She had fallen asleep on his back. He passed Captain Unohana on the way to Rukia's room, but she merely nodded her head as they passed, choosing not to say anything. Kaien was grateful.
Kaien stood back and looked at Rukia as she slept, so peacefully. God, she looks vulnerable right now. He smiled at her as her face tightened up and relaxed again. With one last glance, he left her to her sleep.
Ichigo was looking forward to visiting Rukia. He had just finished sparring with Renji, and it was natural that he go see Rukia next. Where else would he go in Soul Society? Renji had said something about a bar, but Ichigo said no. Renji ended up walking away with a knowing smirk on his face, which Ichigo did not catch.
Now here he was, rushing over to Rukia's room in the Fourth Division. When he got into the room though, he did not get what he expected. Rukia wasn't in her bed. At first his mind wandered and he panicked. Oh my God where is she?! Did she do something wrong? Did they take her away again? Does this have something to do with Byakuya?!
Then Unohana passed by the room. "Oh, is Kuchiki-san still not back from her walk yet?"
Ichigo felt waves of relief rush over him. Before... "Wait! She went for a walk on her own!? In her current condition!?"
"Of course not Kurosaki-kun!" Unohana was amused by his protectiveness "Do not worry, she is in good hands. She went for a walk with Lieutenant Kaien Shiba. I'm sure they will be back soon." And with that, Unohana walked away, continuing her check up of her patients.
Ichigo frowned. Why wasn't there a "former" in front of Lieutenant?
He decided to clear his head by taking a walk around Soul Society himself. Hopefully she'd be back by the time he was done.
He had walked around the area with Rukia quite a bit in the past few days, but he has still yet to really explore Soul Society on his own. He set off walking in a random direction.
Seriously! Who is that guy? Ichigo remembered what Rukia said: "He was someone I was very close to a long time ago..."
That didn't help. Why did the thought of Rukia and this Shiba guy make Ichigo's stomach turn like this? Would he feel the same way if it was another friend in the same situation?
Ichigo thought about this. If it were Inoue or Tatsuki, he's sure he would be nothing by happy for them. If a very dear friend come back suddenly into their lives and they themselves were happy about it, why wouldn't he be happy for them? Ichigo sighed. Maybe because Rukia's different. She's not just a friend—she changed my world.
Doesn't that mean I should be even happier for her? A nagging voice crept into Ichigo's head. His stomach was still turning.
I don't know what this feeling is! Could it be jeal...
Ichigo stopped walking. He had walked much further than he anticipated, and he was approaching a stream. Sitting in front of it, a few meters away from him, was Rukia and that Shiba guy.
They were looking at each other, intensely. Rukia was smiling, really smiling. Ichigo has only ever seen her look that way at him (and Byakuya that one time after he had rescued her). His stomach clenched again.
He saw a few more words get exchanged, and Rukia suddenly brightened up like a light bulb. Something that guy had said made her really happy. Ichigo didn't know what to do with himself. I've never seen Rukia like this before. She's so happy, and there's no acting either. It's 100% Rukia.
Ichigo had, of course, seen this side of Rukia before, but he's never witnessed it being directed at anyone other than himself. All he could do was stare at the pair as their interactions continued. The pit in his stomach growing bigger and bigger.
Then Ichigo began to get angry. It was clear that Rukia was dead tired. She was beginning to fall over, and the stupid guy still wasn't showing any inclination of taking her back. Ichigo was about to shout, but then he saw the guy stand, and offer Rukia his hand. Rukia blushed and accepted his help. Ichigo watched, speechlessly.
When Rukia fell over, Ichigo just about burst out. Luckily, (that of course, was a matter of opinion) Rukia fell into the guy's side. Before he knew it, Ichigo was Rukia climbing onto this guy, her lieutenant's, back.
WHAT THE HELL!? Memories of having Rukia on his back brought the slightest smile to Ichigo's face, but her on this other guy's back... WHAT THE HELL!?
Rukia and her friend were long gone now, on their way back to the fourth division, but Ichigo's stomach still felt like it was being sucked into a black hole. Now his chest was also brimming with anger. Ichigo walked up to the stream and sat down, trying to collect his thoughts and calm himself.
By the time Ichigo got back to Rukia's room, she completely knocked out. He himself felt completely drained both emotionally and physically. He decided to turn in for the night and come back to see Rukia first thing tomorrow.
Ichigo headed to the sixth division barracks, where Renji had arranged a room for him to stay in and fell into a restless sleep. He dreamt of rain.
Thanks for reading! I hope you liked it! Reviews are greatly appreciated!! (they also let me know people are actually reading my story!)
