I don't own any of the characters Stephanie Myer does. Some of the dialogue is from the book. Enjoy this chapter its longer than the others. My goal is to get at least 30 reviews.

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I felt like—like I don't know what. Like this wasn't real. Like I was in some Goth version of a bad sitcom. Instead of being the A/V dweeb about to ask the head cheerleader to the prom, I was the finished-second-place werewolf about to ask the vampire's wife to shack up and procreate. Nice

No, I wouldn't do it. It was twisted and wrong. I was going to forget all about what he'd said.

But I would talk to her. I'd try to make her listen to me.

And she wouldn't. Just like always. - I didn't answer any of Jacobs thoughts as we made our way back to the house. I was to busy trying to put back on my mask before we got back in side. They were already suspicious as to way I needed to talk to Jacob.

I wondered about the place that he'd chosen to stop. Was it far enough from the house that the others couldn't hear his whispers?

Was that the point?

Maybe.

When we walked through the door, my family 's eyes were suspicious and confused.

No one looked disgusted or outraged. So they must not have heard either favour Edward had asked me for. - Jacob hesitated at the door while I continued on to the middle of the room feeling all eyes on me and my shoulders felt stiff. Bella looked up at me anxiously then looked at Jacob then back to me. She was feeling stressed her face turned greyish pale.

"We're going to let Jacob and Bella speak privately," I said .

Over my pile of ashes," Rosalie hissed at me. She was still hovering by Bella's head, one of her cold hands placed possessively on Bella's sallow cheek.

I didn't look at her. "Bella," I said in that same empty tone. "Jacob wants to talk to you. Are you afraid to be alone with him?"

Bella looked at me, confused. Then she looked at Rosalie.

"Rose, it's fine. Jake's not going to hurt us. Go with Edward." Bella said looking at Jacob.

"It might be a trick," the Rosalie warned.

"I don't see how," Bella said.

"Carlisle and I will always be in your sight, Rosalie," I said. The emotionless voice was cracking, showing the anger through it I couldn't hide it any longer. "We're the ones she's afraid of."

"No," Bella whispered. Her eyes were glistening, her lashes wet. "No, Edward. I'm not. ."

I shook his head, smiling a little it was to forced to look good. The smile was painful to look at. "I didn't mean it that way, Bella. I'm fine. Don't worry about me."

"Everyone," I said, my hand stiffly motioning toward the door. "Please."

The composure I was trying to keep up for Bella was shaky. I could see how close I was to that burning man I'd been outside. The others saw it, too.

Silently, they moved out the door while I shifted out of the way. They moved fast; Jacobs heart beat twice, and the room was cleared except for Rosalie, hesitating in the middle of the floor, and I was , still waiting by the door.

"Rose," Bella said quietly. "I want you to go."

The Rosalie glared at me and then gestured for me to go first.

I disappeared out the door. I got everyone as far as I could from the house so they didn't over hear what Jacob was about to tell Bella. But the thing is that I could still hear Jacobs thoughts. I went to sit under a tree looking at the floor listening to Jacob. The rest of my family were scattered around the woods looking at me intently but I ignored them.

"Thanks, Jake. That feels good."

"I'm not going to lie, Bells. You're hideous."

"I know," she sighed. "I'm scary-looking."

"Thing-from-the-swamp scary," Jacob agreed.

She laughed. "It's so good having you here. It feels nice to smile. I don't know how much more drama I can stand."

Jacob rolled his eyes.

"Okay, okay," she agreed. "I bring it on myself."

"Yeah, you do. What're you thinking, Bells? Seriously!"

"Did he ask you to yell at me?"

"Sort of. Though I can't figure why he thinks you'd listen to me. You never have before."

She sighed.

"I told you—," Jacob started to say.

"Did you know that 'I told you so' has a brother, Jacob?" she asked, cutting me off. "His name is 'Shut the hell up.'

I had to laugh at that but I wasn't totally in it.

Good one."

She grinned at me. Her skin stretched tight over the bones.

"I can't take credit—I got it off a rerun of The Simpson's."

"Missed that one."

"It was funny."

They didn't talk for a minute. Her hands were starting to warm up a little.

"Did he really ask you to talk to me?"

Jacob nodded. "To talk some sense into you. There's a battle that's lost before it starts."

"So why did you agree?"

Jacob didn't answer. He wasn't sure he knew.

I did know this—every second I spent with her was only going to add to the pain I would have to suffer later. Like a junkie with a limited supply, the day of reckoning was coming for me. The more hits I took now, the harder it would be when my supply ran out. - Jacob thought

"It'll work out, you know," she said after a quiet minute. "I believe that."

"Is dementia one of your symptoms?" he snapped.

She laughed, though his anger was so real that his hands were shaking around hers.

I started to get of the ground ready to burst in if he lost control.

"Maybe," she said. "I'm not saying things will work out easily, Jake. But how could I have lived through all that I've lived through and not believe in magic by this point?"

"Magic?"

"Especially for you," she said. She was smiling. She pulled one of her hands away from Jacobs and pressed it against his cheek. "More than anyone else, you've got some magic waiting to make things right for you."

"What are you babbling about?"

Still smiling. "Edward told me once what it was like—your imprinting thing. He said it was like A Midsummer Night's Dream, like magic. You'll find who you're really looking for, Jacob, and maybe then all of this will make sense."

I closed my eyes, not liking the sound of that.

If she hadn't looked so fragile I would've been screaming.

As it was, Jacob did growl at her.

"If you think that imprinting could ever make sense of this insanity . . ." Jacob struggled for words. "Do you really think that just because I might someday imprint on some stranger it would make this right?" I jabbed a finger toward her swollen body. "Tell me what the point was then, Bella! What was the point of me loving you? What was the point of you loving him? When you die"—the words were a snarl—"how is that ever right again? What's the point to all the pain? Mine, yours, his! You'll kill him, too, not that I care about that." She flinched, but I kept going. "So what was the point of your twisted love story, in the end? If there is any sense, please show me, Bella, because I don't see it."

She sighed. "I don't know yet, Jake. But I just… feel… that this is all going somewhere good, hard to see as it is now. I guess you could call it faith."

"You're dying for nothing, Bella! Nothing!"

Her hand dropped from his face to her bloated stomach, caressed it. She didn't have to say the words for him to know what she was thinking. She was dying for it.

"I'm not going to die," she said through her teeth, "I will keep my heart beating. I'm strong enough for that."

"That's a load of crap, Bella. You've been trying to keep up with the supernatural for too long. No normal person can do it. You're not strong enough." He took her face in his hand.

"I can do this. I can do this," she muttered, sounding a lot like that kids' book about the little engine that could.

"Doesn't look like it to me. So what's your plan? I hope you have one."

She nodded, not meeting my eyes. "Did you know Esme jumped off a cliff? When she was human I mean?"

" so?"

"So she was close enough to dead that they didn't even bother taking her to the emergency room—they took her right around to the morgue. Her heart was still beating, though, when Carlisle found her. . . ."

That's what she'd meant before, about keeping her heart beating.

"You're not planning on surviving this human," he stated dully.

"No. I'm not stupid." She met my stare then. "I guess you probably have your own opinion on that point, though."

"Emergency vampirization," I mumbled.

"It worked for Esme. And Emmett, and Rosalie, and even Edward. None of them were in such great shape. Carlisle only changed them because it was that or death. He doesn't end lives, he saves them."

" Listen to me, Bells. Don't do it that way." Like before, when the call from Charlie had come, I could see how much difference it really made to me. I realized I needed her to stay alive, in some form. In any form.

He took a deep breath. "Don't wait until it's too late, Bella. Not that way. Live. Okay? Just live. Don't do this to me. Don't do it to him." His voice got harder, louder. "You know what he's going to do when you die. You've seen it before. You want him to go back to those Italian killers?" She cringed into the sofa.

"Remember when I got mangled up by those newborns? What did you tell me?"

. She pressed her lips together.

"You told me to be good and listen to Carlisle," he reminded her. "And what did I do? I listened to the vampire. For you."

"You listened because it was the right thing to do."

"Okay—pick either reason."

She took a deep breath. "It's not the right thing now." Her gaze touched her big round stomach and she whispered under her breath, "I won't kill him."

His hands shook again. "Oh, I hadn't heard the great news. A bouncing baby boy, huh? Shoulda brought some blue balloons."

Her face turned pink.

"I don't know he's a boy," she admitted, a little sheepish. "The ultrasound wouldn't work. The membrane around the baby is too hard—like their skin. So he's a little mystery. But I always see a boy in my head."

"It's not some pretty baby in there, Bella." I said coldly.

"We'll see," she said. Almost smug.

"You won't," Jacob snarled.

"You're very pessimistic, Jacob. There is definitely a chance that I might walk away from this."

"Jake," she said, and she patted my hair, stroked my cheek. "It's going to be okay. Shh. It's okay."

I didn't look up. "No. It will not be okay."

She wiped something wet from his cheek. "Shh." He was crying.

"What's the deal, Bella?" he stared at the pale carpet. His bare feet were dirty, leaving smudges. Esme is going to be horrified by the smudges when she saw them.

"I thought the whole point was that you wanted your vampire more than anything. And now you're just giving him up? That doesn't make any sense. Since when are you desperate to be a mom? If you wanted that so much, why did you marry a vampire?"

She sighed. "It's not like that. I didn't really care about having a baby. I didn't even think about it. It's not just having a baby. It's…well…this baby."

"It's a killer, Bella. Look at yourself."

"He's not. It's me. I'm just weak and human. But I can tough this out, Jake, I can—"

"Aw, come on! Shut up, Bella. You can spout this crap to your bloodsucker, but you're not fooling me. You know you're not going to make it."

She glared at him. "I do not know that. I'm worried about it, sure."

"Worried about it," he repeated through my teeth.

She gasped then and clutched at her stomach. My fury vanished like a light switch being turned off.

"I'm fine," she panted. "It's nothing."

But he didn't hear; her hands had pulled her sweatshirt to the side, and he stared, horrified, at the skin it exposed. Her stomach looked like it was stained with big splotches of purple-black ink.

And now the misery took over and I was frozen once again. I slammed my head against the tree nearly knocking it over . When was this conversation going to end?

She saw his stare, and she yanked the fabric back in place.

"He's strong, that's all," she said defensively.

The ink spots were bruises.

he almost gagged, and he understood what I'd said, about watching it hurt her.

Suddenly, he felt a little crazy myself.

"Bella," he said.

She heard the change in my voice. She looked up, still breathing heavy, her eyes confused.

"Bella, don't do this."

"Jake—"

"Listen to me. Don't get your back up yet. Okay? Just listen. What if… ?"

"What if what?"

"What if this wasn't a one-shot deal? What if it wasn't all or nothing? What if you just listened to Carlisle like a good girl, and kept yourself alive?"

"I won't—"

"I'm not done yet. So you stay alive. Then you can start over. This didn't work out. Try again."

She frowned. She raised one hand and touched the place where my eyebrows were mashing together. Her fingers smoothed my forehead for a moment while she tried to make sense of it.

"I don't understand.… What do you mean, try again? You can't think Edward would let me… ? And what difference would it make? I'm sure any baby—"

"Yes," he snapped. "Any kid of his would be the same."

Her tired face just got more confused. "What?"

But he couldn't say any more. There was no point. He thought he would never be able to save her from herself. He'd never been able to do that.

Then she blinked, and he could see she got it.

"Oh. Ugh. Please, Jacob. You think I should kill my baby and replace it with some generic substitute? Artificial insemination?" She was mad now.

."Why would I want to have some stranger's baby? I suppose it just doesn't make a difference? Any baby will do?"

"I didn't mean that," he muttered. "Not a stranger."

She leaned forward. "Then what are you saying?"

"Nothing. I'm saying nothing. Same as ever."

"Where did that come from?"

"Forget it, Bella."

She frowned, suspicious. "Did he tell you to say that?"

He hesitated, surprised that she'd made that leap so quick.

"No."

I groaned now that she caught up so quickly.

"He did, didn't he?"

"No, really. He didn't say anything about artificial whatever."

Her face softened then, and she sank back against the pillows, looking exhausted.

She stared off to the side when she spoke, not talking to him at all. "He would do anything for me. And I'm hurting him so much.… But what is he thinking? That I would trade this"—her hand traced across her belly—"for some stranger's . . ." She mumbled the last part, and then her voice trailed off. Her eyes were wet.

"You don't have to hurt him," he whispered. Still a thousand-to-one odds. "You could make him happy again, Bella. And I really think he's losing it. Honestly, I do."

She didn't seem to be listening; her hand made small circles on her battered stomach while she chewed on her lip. It was quiet for a long time. He wondered if the Cullen's were very far away. Were they listening to my pathetic attempts to reason with her?

"Not a stranger?" she murmured to herself. I flinched. "What exactly did Edward say to you?" she asked in a low voice.

".

"Nothing. He just thought you might listen to me."

"Not that. About trying again."

Her eyes locked on his , and he could see that I'd already given too much away.

"Nothing."

Her mouth fell open a little. "Wow."

It was silent for a few heartbeats. I looked down at my feet again, unable to meet her stare.

"He really would do anything, wouldn't he?" she whispered.

"I told you he was going crazy. Literally, Bells."

"I'm surprised you didn't tell on him right away. Get him in trouble."

"Thought about it." He tried to grin back, but he could feel the smile mangle on my face.

She knew what I was offering, and she wasn't going to think twice about it. He'd known that she wouldn't. But it still stung

I sort of felt sorry for Jacob, he'd had a bad enough experience of Bella turning him down and know this. But it was worth trying to save her.

"There isn't much you wouldn't do for me, either, is there?" she whispered. "I really don't know why you bother. I don't deserve either of you."

"It makes no difference, though, does it?"

"Not this time." She sighed. "I wish I could explain it to you right so that you would understand. I can't hurt him"—she pointed to her stomach—"any more than I could pick up a gun and shoot you. I love him."

"Why do you always have to love the wrong things, Bella?"

"I don't think I do."

"Trust me."

He started to get to his feet.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm not doing any good here."

She held out her thin hand, pleading. "Don't go."

"I don't belong here. I've got to get back."

"Why did you come today?" she asked, still reaching limply.

"Just to see if you were really alive. I didn't believe you were sick like Charlie said."

I couldn't tell from her face whether she bought that or not.

"Will you come back again? Before . . ."

"I'm not going to hang around and watch you die, Bella."

She flinched. "You're right, you're right. You should go."

He headed for the door.

"Bye," she whispered behind me. "Love you, Jake."

"Sure, sure," he mumbled on his way out.

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that's the end of the chapter hope you all liked it. Most of the text with Bella and Jacob is from the book. So that whole talk doesn't belong to me.

Plz review this is my longest chapter so far.