Chapter 5

Edward's POV

As we drove towards the house, I caught her scent. The most beautiful aroma, I had ever experienced, I thought I was gong insane. It couldn't be her, could it? I heard Alice's thoughts, she had smelled it too, and was hopeful. Edward can you smell that? Bella's here, it has to be her, right? She thought. I shrugged my shoulders.

Once the house was in view, I began to concentrate, listening out for any thoughts coming from within, and that's when I saw her – my beautiful Bella, for the first time in 5 years, through the eyes of my mother. If I'd had a heart, it would have burst right out of my chest. The speed of the car was not enough for me, I had to get to her. I opened the car door, and jumped out, running as fast as I could, back to my Bella.

It took me only a few seconds to reach the doorway of our new home, but in that time, I had been listening to Esme's thoughts about Bella. She was filling me in on everything that had happened. I couldn't believe I had allowed so many bad things to happen to my Bella. The pain was too much for me to bear, and I crumpled to the ground. I wanted so much to pick myself up and, go to her, but I couldn't force myself to move, and besides, she clearly didn't want to see me. I could here her exchange with Esme. She wanted to leave, she didn't want to face me – I didn't blame her.

"Edward, pull yourself together" Alice said, as she and Jasper stepped out of the car. "Bella's here, you have another chance. Don't mess it up this time."

"It's too late Alice! She doesn't want me...All the things I've put her through- I should have.."

Jasper sent a wave of calm, as it washed over me, I began to think more clearly. I wanted nothing more than to see Bella, but it was clear I would scare her away, so, I asked Alice to speak to her instead.

Alice's thoughts were going crazy, she was so excited that she would finally get to see Bella again, but she was concerned too. She could tell from my expression that something awful had happened, that it wasn't going to be easy seeing Bella again, but she had no idea why. She practically bounded up the stairs calling for Esme as she ran.

"Jasper, I need your help with something."

"Of course, what is it Edward?"

"I need your help to track someone down."

"OK, but why?"

"Because they hurt someone I love and, I'm going to kill them." I growled.

Jasper sent another wave of calm my way, and I managed to relax, just a little.

"Edward, of course, I'll help you, but are you sure it's wise? Carlisle will -"

"I'm sure Carlisle won't like it, but he will understand. If you knew what this man, if you can call him a man, had done to my Bella, you wouldn't even have to ask."

"OK, Edward, try to control yourself. What did he do?

"Jasper, he raped her." if I could have cried, I would. "and then he beat her, and cut her and, left her for dead." I growled.

"When do you want to go? I'll get the car?" I knew Jasper would understand. He was thinking about the things he would do to any man who hurt Alice in that way, not that they would stand a chance.

"Not yet. I need to see her first Jasper."

"Are you sure that's a good idea, Edward? I can feel your rage, your anger towards the guy. You might scare her."

"I have to see her, hopefully Alice will have calmed her down and, persuaded her to speak to me. You can help me stay calm."

"Edward, you remember what happened last time I got close to her. I almost killed her. All of this is my fault!"

"Jasper, no one blames you and, you don't have to get too close, just stay near enough that you can keep the situation in hand."

"OK, if your sure, but Edward, are you sure you can cope with being so close to her again. I've felt how you feel around her. I know how her blood calls to you and how hard it always was for you to resist, and you've been away from her so long.."

"Jasper, I love her. You know that. I could no more cause her pain than I could Alice or Esme. You have to feel that."

"I know the depth of your feelings for her Edward. I'm not disputing that, but her blood is such a siren call; it's in our nature to spill blood. Your instincts could win out over your heart, it only takes one second and she could be lost to you forever."

"Trust me Jasper, it's not a problem, and Esme and Alice will be around to stop me should it come to that."

"You're right, of course. Let's go join the ladies. I'll be right outside the doorway if you need me."

"Thank you, Jasper."

I walked up the stairs at a human pace, even though I wanted nothing more than to run as fast as my vampire abilities allowed me. I wanted to run to her, scoop her up into my arms and run away with her, but I knew better. I doubted she would ever forgive me, and even if she did, she wouldn't want to be with me again. I had ruined her life, left her unprotected and alone. I wasn't worthy of her love, but I would take what I could get. Just being in her presence was enough for me, if that was all I could hope for.

I took a deep breath, filling my lungs with clean air – just in case I had to stop breathing and I knocked on the door.

"Esme, Bella, may I come in?"