A/N Here is the final chapter. Many thanks to those who took the time to read. This has been a learning experience for me. I had fun writing it. please review to let me know what you think. Thanks again.

Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, but wouldn't we all like to have a little piece of Edward now and then?

1986

Feeling my frustration increasing, I fought to keep myself from flailing my arms about and yelling at my oh so stubborn mate. What kept me in check mostly was my concern for her fragile state. Nothing was so important that I would put her condition at greater risk, so trying to win an argument while reigning in my anger was definitely harder than I had anticipated.

I pleaded, I reasoned, I tried to barter, but I gained no ground with her. I begged on bended knee, I even attempted empty threats, but Bella would not be moved. Her mind was made up, she would attend the session today, whether I agreed or not. She had me and she knew it. She knew I would give in to her.

Carlise and Jasper had come to the cottage early, to recount the earlier sessions in detail, so she would not be surprised in any way. The idea of listening to Carlisle go over the sessions again was making me extremely nervous, I wasn't sure that I could take it. But, leaving Bella to hear it alone was causing my ever present level of guilt to skyrocket. She shouldn't have to hear this without me, I should put my own discomfort aside to support her. But, what if I made it worse, what if I broke down again, in front of her this time? To say I was torn, was an understatement.

My beautiful wife, however, read my expression as though she were reading one of her favorite books. Taking all the burden of decision making from me once more, she insisted that I leave, citing that I would only be uncomfortable and in the way. Refusing to go far, I opted to go back to the main house for a game of chess with Alice to hopefully distract me. It was also with the understanding that I would greet our guests, when they arrived, and escort them to the cottage.

The group gathered in our small living-room, Bella sitting on my left. She patted my knee reassuringly before removing it so I could concentrate. Turning away from her so I could face Andrew better, I was still keenly aware of her presence. My teleportation this time was swift and relatively easy. Once I had released my fear about Bella being at the session, my mind flew back over the years and I found myself alone.

Yes, I was alone alright, but I was in my car and it was moving. With vampire speed and efficiency I assessed the situation and acclimated myself to my surroundings. Glancing at the scenery for a few seconds, I recognized the landscape of Seattle Washington.

Driving down Highway 99, late in the afternoon, the traffic was starting to thicken and congeal like a cold soup. I hated to have to slow down for heavy traffic.

It was the first day I was taking my new Volvo 480 ES, out alone. I had ordered it from an overseas dealer after attending the Geneva Motor Show in March. It had been delivered yesterday and all afternoon and evening, Alice, Emmett, and Jasper had pestered me with requests to go for rides. Rosalie was more importantly occupied in perfecting her 'killer' manicure, Carlisle was pulling an evening shift, at the hospital, as a favor to a colleague, which only left Esme.

She could see how happy I was to finally get the car and how much I just wanted to experience the drive for myself. No way would she impose herself like the others, she would never ask. So of course I took her for a ride first. She actually went for a ride twice with me last night. I had offered a third, but she declined graciously, encouraging me to give my siblings one last ride just before dawn. Never one to argue with my sweet, loving mother, I acquiesced.

So now I was alone, I ran my hand over the dash, marveling at all the computer controls. Emmett had complained about the room in the back seat, but I didn't care, I didn't intend to be anywhere but the driver's seat and that felt just fine. I glanced around at the black leather interior with touches of midnight blue that matched the exterior and sighed a happy sigh.

I was approaching the Aurora Bridge when a shiver ran through me. With complete clarity, I remembered the girl that I had watched jump from the Aurora Bridge in 1986. As the memories replayed in my mind, I knew I would not reach her in time. The heavy traffic had prevented me before and it seemed it would do so again. Praying to the gods, I weaved through the slow moving cars. Please, a few more moments please. Let her pause a little longer this time. If I could reach her, talk to her, please!

I could see her standing next to the railing in the middle of the bridge. Soon she would climb up, over the barrier and jump. No one was paying any attention to her. Even from this impossible distance, I could see the sadness on her face and in her eyes.
What had brought her to do this? What heartache had befallen her that she could no longer endure, that she would end her life rather than go on? She took one last look around. It seemed she was searching for something, someone, that would save her from her fateful decision.

BELLA! I screamed over the din of the car motors. She couldn't hear me, she took no notice.

Steeling her shoulders, she quickly climbed over the rail. I shut my eyes, I couldn't see this again. When I opened them a second later she was gone. It was over, and with it she took my hope.

Someone screamed, someone else gasped. There were murmurs of shock and disbelief as the motorists who had finally noticed, gazed at the horrific site.

Crossing the bridge as quickly as I could, I refused to look at the spot from where she had jumped. My fist slammed against the dashboard and I heard it crack as a chunk broke off and fell to the floor. Exiting the bridge, I parked at the first opportunity and started down the embankment, to the edge of the water, on foot.

People were gathering to gawk and discuss the event that had occurred only a moment ago. I moved away from them instinctively, always keeping my distance.

"Izzy! Izzy! A man pushed his way through only to fall to his knees as he looked at water.
He called her Izzy. This man knew her. I needed to find out about this woman,to find out what pushed her to suicide. She was the last incarnation before my Bella would be born, the closest to the woman I so desperately loved.

Moving towards him, I gently asked, "Did you know her? Was she your girlfriend?"
The man, now standing, stared out with a forlorn expression and shook his head. "No, she wasn't my girlfriend, but she was my friend. I found the note she left on my door and I came here as quickly as I could, but I was too late." He threw a rock that he had been clutching and it made a soft 'plop' sound as it hit the water.

"Do you have any idea why she would take her life?" I asked, expressing my sympathy for his loss by placing my hand on his shoulder.

"Why does anybody do it? She wasn't happy, I guess. She pretended to be, but deep down I don't think she was." He shrugged as he tried to gather his thoughts. I let my hand fall to my side. "Mostly I think she was just lonely. Izzy didn't have many friends. Her best friend got married last week, she's on her honeymoon right now. I don't know how I'm gonna tell her about this when she gets back. He sighed heavily.

"She...Izzy didn't have a boyfriend then?" I hoped he didn't think I was prying.

"Nah, she and I tried the romantic stuff but it didn't work for either of us. We talked alot about meeting someone and falling in love. About finding our soul mate, but she said that she didn't think she would ever find hers. She said that either he didn't exist at all or that she would never be able to find him."

"I should have known when she gave me her collection of poetry that she was giving up altogether. She loved those books so much, I didn't think she would ever part with them. They weren't worth anything, mostly just a bunch of old paperbacks really, but I swear, if there was a fire and Izzy had to evacuate, she'd take those books out first."
"Why are you so interested in her, did you know her?" The man stared at me quizzically.
"No, I saw her jump." My voice lowered. "She looked so sad, I felt I needed to know something about her."

"So you think it was because she was lonely?"

"Izzy wanted to be loved. She longed for it." He said as he stared at me once more.

"She wanted that connection to another person, one other person above all else. Hell, maybe it was all that damn poetry that she filled her head with. I tried to tell her the world doesn't work that way, but she'd just shake her head like I was crazy. Izzy said that was exactly how the world was supposed to be. She'd laugh at me and say 'Steve you'll find her one of these days. You'll find the woman you're supposed to be with, I know you will.' It's funny though, a couple of nights ago, Izzy and I were out for drinks to celebrate her birthday. 'Cause I was gonna work straight through the weekend and wouldn't be able to go out tonight, and I met this girl."

"It was kinda like Izzy said, I mean, I don't know if she's my soul mate or nothin', but it kinda feels like she could be. It's like there's this connection already, even though we just met a couple of days ago."

"Maybe that's why Izzy did it, maybe she saw a connection between Molly and I and she figured that I wouldn't have time for her anymore. But, I wouldn't have abandoned her I swear. I don't know, maybe she was planning this all along and was just waiting for me to find someone before she did it so I wouldn't be alone. Izzy did stuff like that sometimes."
The ambulance, fire trucks and police cars had all gathered now and the rescue team assembled to attempt to retrieve her from the water. I turned my back on the spectacle, not wanting to witness the gruesome task.

Everyone began to clear a path to allow the officials to do their job. Before he could walk away, too, I grasped his sleeve. Looking in the eyes of the man that knew her best, I whispered to him. "What was she like?"

Without wavering or faltering one bit his eyes locked on mine and replied. "She was the kindest person I have ever known. Izzy wasn't kind just on the surface like most people are, she was kind deep down, she had the biggest heart."

He stuck his hands deep in the pockets of his jeans and looked out over the city. "Ya know she volunteered a couple of days a week at the homeless shelter. Those guys are sure gonna miss her. And what with working full time at the coffee house and taking night courses she didn't really have any free time. Maybe that's why she never met anyone."

At his next thought he chuckled slightly. "Izzy was always pickin' up strays. Dogs, cats, it didn't matter. She'd feed um and find them good homes. She wasn't allowed to have pets in her apartment, but she'd hide them out for a few days 'till she found a place for them. She even found an injured raccoon once. I told her that thing's probably got rabies or somethin', but she didn't listen. Izzy fed it and nursed it before turning over to an animal shelter. She wanted to be a veterinarian, but she didn't have the money for tuition."

"Did Izzy have any family?"

"Not that I knew of, her parents and grandparents were all gone, I know that for sure and she didn't have any brothers or sisters. She never mentioned anyone else. We always spent the holidays together so no, I don't think there was any of her family left."

The police were moving through the crowd, asking the onlookers if anyone knew the girl and could identify the body. Her friend started to move forward preparing to answer the officials queries.

I took that occasion to remove my self from the collected curiosity seekers, stepping back and walking to where I had parked my car. Getting in, I sat quietly, my head resting on the steering wheel. Was this how it was to end? I had witnessed the death of the tragic girl who was the last of Bella's previous lives. It was my last chance. It was Bella's last chance. There was no hope, no more opportunities to make it right.

The familiar sensations started and I knew it was time to face the music. It was time to admit that I had let down the most important person in my life.

Dropping my hands from Andrews, I leaned back into the sofa as my hands fell into my lap, mentally rejoining my family once more. Instantly my left hand was covered by the soft, delicate one of my wife.

Shame filled me, I couldn't look at her, I dreaded seeing the heartbroken expression that was entirely my fault. I couldn't face her knowing that I had failed yet again. I hadn't helped at all. I promised Bella that I would save her somehow and I failed, just like I failed to keep her safe while she was with me as a human. And then I took her life. I was the last thing that happened to her, the last horrific thing, the last monster. There would be no more incarnations for her to get it right, no more chances at life for Bella.

"Bella, you understand now don't you? You see what has been causing your pain?" Helena was smiling at us, though she spoke only to Bella.

I was about to reply that I didn't see or understand anything of the sort when my wife spoke up.

"Yes! That's it. It's so obvious." A look of wonderment graced her precious face.

"What is so obvious Bella?"

I could see much of the tension, that had been there since the episodes began, start to recede. The worry lines easing from her brow, she looked instantly younger and more like the beautiful Bella I knew.

"You couldn't save me Edward."

"I'm so sorry, Bella." I felt the sting of nonexistent tears. "Don't worry, my love, we'll find a way..." Squeezing her hand in both of mine.

"No, Edward, listen to me. In my lives before, you couldn't save me. You would have saved me if you could have, but you couldn't. I died over and over, always coming back, only to die in pain again."

"When we met in this life, you called me a 'danger magnet'. All those times, the van, those men in Port Angeles, James, you saved me from being killed again and again, but it didn't make a difference. Things kept happening to me. My life was always at risk of ending too soon... until you changed me."

"But, the nightmares, why have you been sick these past three months? I don't understand." I searched her face for the true meaning of her words.

Her head tilted upward slightly as she quietly continued.

"It always troubled me, the guilt you felt for changing me." Her free hand caressing my cheek as she looked sadly at me. "I knew you still felt it, even though you denied it, and even though I tried to convince you otherwise, you blamed yourself for taking my life."

Another wave of guilt washed over me as she spoke and she saw it in my face instantly.

"No, Edward, don't you see? Because of you, I'll never have to go through that. You saved me, sweetheart... I won't ever have to die like that again."

A tentative smile eased over her face, as she waited for me to see what she saw.

Looking only at her, I noticed the light sparkle and shine from her eyes.

In that moment, in that beautiful gaze, I fell in love with her all over again. In that moment I knew... I knew she was right, and I knew that she would no longer be tormented by the nightmares. I knew I didn't have to feel guilty anymore. I knew fate had willed it that I save her from her human life.