Mending Hearts: Chapter 3
I stood outside the borrow smoking my second last cigarette in the cool evening air. Sucking in the toxic smoke (weirdly enough) calmed my nerves down. I wasn't sure how Harry would respond to the news and I didn't really want to find out. Sitting outside in the fresh country air was so much better than living in such a busy stressful city. I wished my daughter could be here with me to feel this comfort. Unfortunately that could never happen; England wasn't a safe place for her. I was so torn that I didn't know what to do. Was she safer under the protection of the order, or should I try to keep her hidden? My thoughts drifted to my daughter's grandparents who had been murdered while trying to hide. Had they made the right decision when they had a child in trying to hide? Look at where they were now, but would it be the same for them? My mind was spinning as I took another inhale of my square. Smiling, I thought of how my daughter would be scolding me for smoking if she was here. God, I missed her so much. She was my complete world, the only thing that kept me sane in this insane world. I couldn't let anything happen to her; I wouldn't let anything happen to her. 'Could I really keep her safer than the people here?' I wondered to myself, looking out at the sky that had started to change into a mixture of brilliant colors.
I heard the door open from inside and assumed it was Harry, finally coming out to talk to me. It was time to talk to him though, I knew in my heart that I'd avoided this for far too long. Turning, I was surprised to see not Harry, but Hermione standing near the door with her arms crossed. "You know" her tone was kind of motherly. "Smoking's really bad for you." I giggled softly, throwing my cigarette to the ground and stepping on it. I nodded softly, wondering why she came out here to lecture me about my smoking habit. It's not like I smoked all the time, just when I was so stressed out I couldn't handle it, and I NEVER smoked near my daughter. I loved her too much to put her small body through any of that.
"Is he pissed?" I asked her, not really responding to her crack at my bad habit. I turned my brown eyes over to her, trying to take in her reaction. She smiled, nodding her head.
"More frustrated with you and your vague answers" Well she had me there. I did expect him to be annoyed with me; he did after all have every right to be.
"You understand why I did what I did, don't you?" I asked her trying to defend my decision. Hermione took a few steps towards me, her arms still crossed over her chest. She stared off into the direction, which the sun was setting in, that I was gazing at only a few minutes ago.
"I do" she said softly. "Voldemort would kill Maggie if he ever found out about her, it would only make sense you wanted to keep her safe." She paused, and I concluded she was going to say something I probably wasn't going to like. She looked at me, her eyes sad and wise at the same time. "But you could have let Harry help you keep her safe." How did I know she would say something like that?
"I was seventeen Hermione!" I growled kind of upset that my best friend was taking Harry's side. "I still had a year left of school, what the hell was I suppose to do? Take her to school with me? Voldemort would have known about her for sure, Hogwarts wasn't safe then, it still isn't safe." I knew I sounded childish, but it didn't matter to me. I was going to stick to my guns (not literally guns…) even if no one else agreed. It was something I had decided to do and couldn't be taken back now no matter how much I regretted it.
"I know" she sighed. "You were in such a hard spot and I admire you putting your child's safety over what you wanted. I only hope I can be as good of a mother as you are." The fear never left her eyes as she obviously thought about her own child and what she would do. I couldn't help but smile at how worried she was. The feeling was all too familiar to me.
"It's hard" I admitted softly "and sometimes you don't know what to do, but the only thing you can do is your best. I know that you'll be a great mom Hermione, you just need to chill and focus on that." She smiled at me, obviously reassured by my confidence in her. "Everyone has their flaws and weaknesses just remember that. I'm not a perfect mom or a perfect person so no one expects you to be." I saw a smile appear on her face as she looked down at her flat stomach (for now).
"It's hard to believe there's a person in there." She stated softly. "I never thought I'd…" I knew where that was going, ouch Hermione.
"End up like me?" I finished for her. She looked up at me with a mixture of surprise and guilt. "Don't worry about it; keep your stress level down. It's not good for the baby if you're stressed out." I remembered to keep my voice low because of everyone inside.
"We should go back in." Hermione said suddenly, as if she had remembered something. "Come with me?"
"I guess." I muttered, not looking forward to seeing Harry again. He could be with Ginny for all I cared; it didn't matter to me anymore. I had wasted enough tears and been hurt enough by that boy. It was time to move on with my life and find something new.
We walked in the door and I saw Mrs. Weasley cooking something, my best guess would be some kind of lunch for the hungry boys. Boys will be boys, as they say.
"Do you need some help with that?" I asked kindly, moving to the sink so I could wash my hands in order to help cook. Mrs. Weasley turned to me and smiled warmly just like she had when I had last seen her.
"That would be lovely dear." She answered. "Could you start making grilled cheese?" She motioned her head over to the counter where all the parts were sitting out waiting to be put together.
"Sure thing." I washed my hands quickly then moved over to the counter, buttering bread and putting them face down into a skillet, placing a piece of cheese on top then buttering the last piece and placing that butter side up and turning on the stove. Making lunch for Maggie I pretty much mastered the art of grilled cheese making.
We cooked in silence for awhile in silence before Mrs. Weasley finally spoke. "You've turned out to be a fine young woman." I think that was supposed to be a compliment, or maybe not? Regardless of weather it was a compliment or not I smiled.
"Thank you." I said softly, grateful that at least one person believed in me. I turned back my attention to the grilled cheese on the stove, softly singing the words to the song 'We are the World' that was stuck in my head. I piled the freshly made grilled cheese onto a new plate and put it onto the medium brown wood table.
Next I moved over to the cabinet and grabbed out as many plates as I could carry and put them on the table. Next I moved to the fridge, grabbing out a carton of milk, orange juice, a pitcher of water and lemonade on the table. Mrs. Weasley had already taken care of the cups, the tomato soup and the salad.
"KIDS!" she shouted, causing me to jump. "LUNCH IS READY!" Well that was unexpected. I heard pounding down the stairs as I moved towards Mrs. Weasley to take the pot off the stove for her. Placing a ladle into the pot I put it onto the table with an oven pad under it. Yawning slightly I moved to the sink and rinsed off my hands before wiping my hands off with a towel that was laying on the counter next to the sink.
"Stephanie!" Mrs. Weasley scolded, shaking her head. "Come sit down dear, you did enough." Smiling, I walked over and pulled out a chair, sitting between Hermione and George, but across from Harry.
"Thank you Mrs. Weasley." I told her kindly, grabbing a grilled cheese from the plate in front of me. Everyone was quiet at the table for a moment before Mr. Weasley said something to George about remembering not to test his pranks around the house. I stacked some salad onto my plate, filled my mug with soup and poured myself some orange juice, listening to others' conversations. I sort of zoned out after that, munching on my grilled cheese and dunking my crust into the tomato soup.
"Stephanie?" Mrs. Weasley asked, snapping me out of my trance.
"Huh?" I muttered stupidly blinking slightly before looking around the table at everyone who stared at me.
"What have you been doing all this time?" I felt their eyes on me as I blinked, my brain going to my daughter. I opened my mouth to answer when my phone rang loudly.
'Can we pretend that airplanes in night sky were like shooting stars? I could really use a wish right now-'I grabbed my phone out of my front jean pocket and touched the screen, recognizing my brother Sean's number. Clicking the talk button, I muttered an apology to Mrs. Weasley.
"Hey Sean, what's up?" I asked, walking towards the fridge, tugging at the bottom of my shirt with my free hand.
"Stephanie?" His voice sounded tight and strange making me stop walking.
"What's wrong?" I asked softly. He didn't respond at first and my back was away from the table, looking at the window.
"I went to Gabe's tonight, Steph. His place was trashed, like someone broke in and he wasn't there. I think whoever it was came to look for something."
"What do you mean he's gone?" I asked as my voice rose slightly towards at the end. "He's supposed to be watching Maggie!" I spun around, my eyes wide as I stared at Hermione. "Where is she, Sean!" I cried out, my eyes tearing up. "Where is my daughter?"
